

In my mid-twenties, I was diagnosed with depression.
I was 24, overweight, unmotivated, and ridiculously and constantly tired. I saw all the signs that things weren't right in my life and decided to go see a therapist. It's not an exaggeration to say that she changed my life. Long story short, she gave me the courage to quit my job to travel, and I've now been living in Asia for the past four years.
But just because I'm seemingly living my dream life doesn't mean that my depression doesn't like to appear in my life from time to time. I have various methods for coping and making myself feel better, including exercising, treating myself to a healthy lunch, or spending time with friends. But my favorite way to make myself feel better is my own special form of meditation – my treat yo' self skincare ritual. For some people, yoga, morning coffee, daily journaling is their thing, their ritual.
Cleansing my face and carefully applying my skincare products is my thing. I know to some this might seem silly, but for me, it's the perfect way to show myself some love.
When I moved to Korea, I learned all about the elaborate and famous 10-step Korean skincare routine. I was initially hesitant, because really, who the hell has time to do 10 steps of skincare every day and night? But curiosity got the best of me, and I slowly started adding steps to my routine: oil cleansers, serums, sheet masks, oils, night creams, sunscreens, hydrating toners… the list goes on.
I even started applying my skincare in a different way, lightly tapping or pressing products into my skin using my fingertips and palms, instead of just rubbing it all over. I became obsessed with skincare, in the best way. Not only is my skincare routine responsible for making my skin look the best it's ever looked, but I've discovered it's one of the best ways to help me cope during my bad days with depression.
The great thing about a Korean skincare routine is that you don't have to specifically use Korean or Asian skincare products. The basic principle of a Korean skincare routine is layering – that is, putting on your skincare products in order from lightest consistency, to heaviest consistency, or least hydrating to most hydrating. You can use any products you'd like, from natural and organic to something you bought from CVS.
I use all Korean products because A) I love them, and B) I live in Asia and it's much easier for me to get Korean products rather than items from Sephora.
Below is my routine for having a healthy mind and healthy skin.
In the Morning:
- Cleanser – Cleanse with a gentle, pH balanced foaming cleanser.
- Toner – Tone to make sure my face is completely clean.
- Hydrating toner – A lightweight, watery, yet hydrating toner to balance the skin
- Hydrating serum – An extra layer of hydration
- Moisturizer – I use a gel cream type moisturizer, since it's pretty lightweight and not greasy.
- Sunscreen – There are a lot of articles arguing against whether or not you should put on sunscreen before or after your moisturizer, but I choose to use it after my moisturizer.
- Makeup – This includes primer, foundation, lip and eye makeup
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In the Evening:
- Oil cleanser to remove makeup – One of the major commandants of the Korean skincare is double cleansing, or first using an oil based cleanser to remove makeup, followed by a foaming cleanser.
- Cleanser – A low pH foaming cleanser
- Toner -Tone to make sure my face is completely clean.
- Actives (AHA, BHA, Retinol, Vitamin C treatment/serum) – During this step, you normally allow your AHAs and BHAs time to work their magic.
- Hydrating toner – My skin is very dry after my actives, so I use a lightweight hydrating toner.
- Sheet mask – Sheet masks are magical. I use them every night, and leave on for at least 15 minutes.
- Serum – I use all sorts of serums, from hydrating to anti-aging. Serums typically target specific skin problems, such as aging, dry skin, acne, or dark spots.
- Eye cream/serum – Once you get older, I think eye cream is essential. I dab it on lightly with my pinky fingers.
- Night cream – At night, I use a thicker moisturizer. If I'm feeling really fancy, I'll add a few drops of oil to my cream for that extra boost of hydration.
I've always had a difficult time with traditional meditation, but my skincare routine is my ritual. It isn't just a way to justify my product junkie tendencies, but it's my own personal form of meditation. All of the steps on my skincare routine are my way of grounding myself. Every morning and night, I devote from 15 to 30 minutes to myself. I breathe. I sit quietly and reflect as I wait for my AHAs to do their thing. I repeat mantras as I cleanse my face. I read. I blast music and dance in my underwear while wearing a sheet mask. I marvel at how smooth and soft my skin is. I take selfies. I love myself.
On my bad days, my skincare routine is the one thing that I can look forward to. In today's busy world, it's sometimes hard to find time to focus on you, but my skincare routine is a non-negotiable. It doesn't matter how tired I am, how many drinks I've had, or how sad I feel, I always find that time in my day to take care of me.
What do you do to show yourself love?
Featured image by Jess @ Harper Sunday on Unsplash
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Having a morning routine is a crucial aspect of adulting, often setting the foundation for the rest of the day. Slow mornings, especially have gained popularity for its mindful approach to starting the day versus waking up frantic and in a rush. It appears our beloved creative, Issa Rae, is team slow mornings and shared her morning routine with It Takes a Village podcast.
The Insecure creator revealed that she was a part of the 4 AM club. After waking up, she dedicates an hour or hour and a half to exercise. Next, she prepares coffee and engages in what she calls her version of meditation.
"Coffee listening to news, sitting in the dark on the couch, sometimes I'll light a candle and sometimes journaling," she said. Waking up early and adopting a slow morning routine offer numerous benefits. Below, we delve into some of these advantages and provide guidance on how to incorporate them into your daily routine.
Waking Up Early
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Waking up at 4 AM might be too early for some, but waking up early overall has many benefits. As per Healthline, some of these advantages include improved sleep quality, increased energy levels, better skin, and the most evident benefit, accomplishing more tasks. If you begin work at 8 AM, consider waking up at 5 or 6 AM to dedicate time to your mental well-being before diving into the day's demands.
Exercising
There’s no better way to boost endorphins than through exercise. Starting your day with exercise can have a positive impact on your mood, which can, in turn, influence the rest of your day.
One advantage of going to the gym early is fewer people, so you don't have to wait to use your favorite machine. If you prefer at-home workouts, you can turn on a 30 minute workout video from a fitness trainer on YouTube or finally use the walking pad that's been stashed away in the corner.
Meditation
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Meditating involves sitting in silence (unless you're listening to a guided meditation) and being one with yourself. While Issa mentioned enjoying her meditation with coffee and a candle, you can create your own peaceful atmosphere. This could involve lighting sage, sitting with crystals, or using essential oils.
Regardless of the time you have, whether it’s 30 minutes or just five, incorporating meditation into your morning routine can help you begin your day with a tranquil mindset.
Journaling
Journaling can be done anytime of the day, but starting your day with it in the morning can provide clarity. There are several types of journaling that can be beneficial morning practices.
Dream journaling involves writing about your dreams the night before to gain transparency about them. Gratitude journaling involves writing about things you’re grateful for, while mindful journaling allows you to express your thoughts and feelings.
All of these practices can contribute to a successful day. By consistently practicing them, you may notice positive changes in your attitude and overall well-being.
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