
Singer Sebastian Mikael On Why It's Important To Master Yourself To Find True Love

Sebastian Mikael has come back around with a new sound.
It's futuristic, it's soul, it's funk but most importantly, it's authentic. After taking a couple of years off to really hone in on the type of music that would breathe life back into himself and his fans, he admits to me during our call that this time around things are different. "It's an experience, it's a journey. Every element and detail is thought through. I'm excited to see what people's feedback is going to be."
And if this admission is any indication of what these last few years have dealt him, then fans are in for more than just a good album.
Sebastian Mikael - Time (Official Music Video)youtu.be
There's soft piano jazz playing as we chat, serving as a soundtrack to our conversation. His answers, much like our background music, are laced with a level of thoughtfulness and intentionality. The latter of which seems to be the running theme of his life. Everything from the lyrics he writes, the instruments he plays, and the decisions he's made in his life are all on purpose for purpose. And at the heart of it, is the desire to thrive, and hopefully inspire others by being true to who they really are, regardless of what shape that takes or what that looks like to other people.
Crediting his heaviest musical influences to artists such as Marvin Gaye, D'Angelo, Erykah Badu, Pharrell and Parliament Funkadelic, his latest EP I C U U C ME Pt. II serves as both an ode to his first love and an epitome to his evolution, both musically and personally. xoNecole got the chance to catch up with the "Last Night" crooner about his new sound, struggle love, and why being authentic is so important.
You describe your sound as “futuristic soul-funk”? Give us your definition of that.
At the essence, it's soul music. I don't see a lot of people doing this, it's kind of a new wave. I've been seeing other artists be influenced by similar styles of music. I'd liken it to funkadelic rap, those who were eccentric and ahead of the curve in a way.
What’s the biggest difference you’ve noticed between your first project and this latest EP?
I was really trying to find my sound and what I really wanted to do musically. I took a two- to three-year break where I was just in the studio, but there were still certain gigs that would come up.
"I got to just live life and have different experiences that really influenced my writing and I feel like it shaped the type of music I'm making."
For me, that was like the one piece that was missing, taking the time to figure out the type of artist that I am. I always think about what I love the most when it comes to music - what I see myself playing or singing for the next 20-30 years. I had to go back to my first love, which was soul/funk music. I was really inspired by that decade and the music that came out of it.
What do you want people to know about Sebastian Mikael?
I write completely from my own experiences and hope that people will relate and become inspired. As far as me personally, people will always have different perceptions of who you are, but I like the mystery of it. I don't like people being too into your private life or knowing too much about you. That'll come eventually, but it has to be some mystery while they're rocking with the music. That's why I focus on just being honest with my music.
You’ve talked about before the fact that your longtime girlfriend has been more than supportive of you and with you along your musical journey. She’s been there through the struggle. Nowadays there’s a lot of talk surrounding “saying no to struggle love.” Do you think there’s a difference between struggling through love and struggle love?
Yes, I think there's a difference between struggling through love and struggle love. To me, if you're struggling through love, you or your partner might be going through something and the both of you might be struggling to keep the relationship going through it all while sharing a common goal. "Struggle love" on the other hand just sounds so negative to me.
In what ways has loving your girlfriend affected you?
It's made me wiser. I feel like we're always learning from each other and building each other up.
"I'm more considerate. I'm better at expressing myself to her and that definitely helped me with my songwriting. She changed me in a good way."
In the beginning, we cared about Instagram and taking dope photos and things like that but nowadays, it's more about us creating dope sh-t that we want to do.
What do you do to make her feel special? How do you show affection? How do like to receive affection?
We're both artists in a sense and really into fashion and photography. So we usually just spend time creating and vibing. It's about knowing what she likes and who she is, and doing things that will make her feel good and make her happy. I love affection. I think being affectionate and intimate is super important. You just have to be open, be yourself and don't hold back.
What’s something you think today’s generation needs to understand about love and relationships?
Don't jump into things too fast, I don't think you should rush into just anything.
"You should really take the time to master yourself and your own energy."
And really get to know somebody before you just jump into it.
What are some major love or life lessons you’ve learned along your journey thus far?
Take time to master yourself and learn how to build self-awareness. A lot of things that you didn't know about yourself will come out once you get into a relationship. You also should learn how to accept other people exactly as they are and accept yourself exactly as you are, so you can be comfortable and be happy with being around your partner.
And build up your trust with your partner. A lot of arguments come from trust issues and people end up spending so much time covering up their secrets and it leads to them being paranoid. You're always wondering what the other person is thinking or what they're up to. Trusting your partner gives you peace. Knowing you can count on somebody--that's so important.
For more of Sebastian, follow him on Instagram. And stream his new EP here.
Writer. Empath. Escapist. Young, gifted, and Black. Shanelle Genai is a proud Southern girl in a serious relationship with celebrity interviews, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and long walks down Sephora aisles. Keep up with her on IG @shanellegenai.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak