Got A Fine Co-worker? 5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Mix Business With Pleasure
"I don't mix my honey with my money."
I recently chatted with one of my good friends and old college roommate about our careers and relationships after watching a recent episode of Being Mary Jane. When I asked her if she would ever date anyone at her job, she stood her ground and firmly replied, "Girl no! I don't mix my honey with my money!"
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Honestly, my friend's response is easier said than done. What do you really do when you find someone at your job and you develop something more than just an attraction for them?
Most people have either experienced or thought about dating someone that they work with. As professionals, we spend the majority of our time with our co-workers, so naturally it is not abnormal to develop a crush on someone that we interact with every day. In a recent study, 51% of workers believe that dating a co-worker is okay, and 37% of employees admit to having been involved with a co-worker romantically. These statistics shouldn't be ignored, and we as professionals should take the necessary precautions before entertaining the thought of mixing business with pleasure.
Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert, noted that the idea of interoffice dating is a common question that she gets often. "Modern thinking is that you spend so much time in the office and online that those are the most likely places you will meet Mr. or Ms. Right," Taylor said. "Occasionally you'll hear: the gym, supermarket, or Starbucks, because those may be the only other places you even have time to escape to outside the busy office these days."
Interoffice dating is so common and honestly, no one knows when true love will strike. There are plenty of cases when interoffice dating has occurred and either went really wrong or really great. When cupid comes your way and hits you with his arrow, you can't ignore the potential impact that it will have on your professional life.
However, before you move from the office to the bedroom, it is important for you to ask yourself the 5 questions below.
1. What is my company's policy on interoffice dating?
If you don't know your company's policy on interoffice dating, read your employee handbook to see what your company has to say. Lynn Taylor noted in an interview, "The variation on corporate practices is so broad that you have employers with lenient policies, strict policies, and no policies, even at Fortune 500-sized companies." Figure out what the company policy is, because they may be extremely opposed to interoffice dating and you may be subject to consequences if you break their rules. When you look to see if dating a coworker is allowed, you can also look up "non-fraternization policies" (this is a common term that most companies use when discussing interoffice dating).
2. Is this person my direct or indirect boss?
If they are your boss, don't do it. "Problems can result from dating a person in a subordinate or superior position," says Taylor. "Also, remember this: If things go sour in your relationship with a subordinate, there may a claim of sexual harassment or hostile work environment."
Dating your boss can put you in a very vulnerable position. If you break-up, things can possibly become very awkward for you. If you are actually a match made in heaven and stay together, other employees may think that any success that you have at work is a result of your relationship.
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3. Could this relationship distract me from doing my job?
No matter how cute your coworker is, don't let them get in between you and your check. If interoffice dating is allowed, it's important to keep the romance out of the office and stay focused on your job. If you are at work, you should be doing just that, working. In a survey, one person noted that, "there is NO WAY to focus on your job when the object of your affection (or diluted three-week mistaken hookup) works in your office."
When you date someone that you work with, it is easy to get caught up in their office chatting away, or accidentally taking extended lunch breaks with them. You should treat your relationship with your lover as professional as possible. Keep the non-work related small talk and the flirting to after hours. You don't want to become so attached to your coworker that you are neglecting the very place that hired you.
4. How close do I work with my crush? Do we work on the same team?
If you work closely with your crush, you may want to reconsider dating them. Working on the same team with someone that you date can make work more difficult than it should be. I talked with one of my friends that used to be in a serious relationship with an old coworker and he told me that this was the worst mistake he's made. He and his ex worked in sales on the same team together, but naturally, since they were in sales, they were really competitive. Their jobs and competitive nature began to affect their relationship and the team whenever they were going through issues. My friend told me that eventually, he ended up moving to a different sales team over a different region because he was becoming too distracted with his girlfriend. In addition, their relationship was not only affecting his work, but it was also affecting his money.
5. What will I do if it doesn't work out?
When we get into relationships, we live in a fairy tale land and we dream that we will be madly in love, extremely happy, will later get married, have beautiful children, and then retire happy with our loved one. Sadly, this is not the case for every relationship as both you and I know.
No one can predict if a relationship will work out or not in the beginning, but you should be smart and think about how you will be affected if the relationship took the wrong turn. When you date someone that you don't work with and you break up, you can just block their number, delete them from social media, and avoid all places where they hang out. Unfortunately, you cannot do the same if your ex-lover works with you.
Before you start a romantic relationship with a colleague, consider how often you would see him or her, and how much you would have to work with them, even after the break-up. Sometimes depending on how the break-up occurred, you may be put in a very uncomfortable situation. This in turn could negatively affect your work performance, and that could affect your growth at your job.
What are your thoughts on interoffice dating? Have you ever done it or know someone that has? Drop your comments below.
Brittani Hunter is a proud PVAMU alumni and the founder of The Mogul Millennial, a business and career platform for Black Millennials. Meet Brittani on Twitter and on the Gram at @BrittaniLHunter and @mogulmillennial.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
WNBA star Angel Reese stuns on and off the court, and now she’s spilling her beauty and skincare secrets with us. The 22-year-old gave some insight into her beauty and skincare routine while speaking to Vogue, including her game day routine.
“My grandma used to always put mascara on my eyes when I was younger, and I used to go on the basketball court; that’s how I got the name 'Bayou Barbie' ‘cause I always had my nails, lashes, hair done,” she explained.
Below, Angel shares the skincare products that make her skin glow and her go-to makeup looks.
Check out her routines below.
Skincare
Vogue/YouTube
Angel starts with La Roche-Posay Hydrating Gentle Cleanser. “I love skincare. Makes me feel good, makes me feel cleanse, especially after a long day because I’m always on the go,” she said. “I play sports, so my face is always drenched with sweat, and I always gotta keep it clean.”
Vogue/YouTube
Angel uses two moisturizers. She uses Fenty Skin Hydra Vizor Invisible Moisturizer SPF 30 first and follows it up with Cetaphil Soothing Gel Cream with Aloe.
"You have to use the thinnest layer and then the thickest layer," she said. "I learned these tips because one time I posted a skincare routine and they were like, you need to run that back. And they taught me you need to do thin then thick and then I could see the complete difference with my skin."
Vogue/YouTube
She keeps Laniege Lip Balm with her at all times, including during games.
Vogue/YouTube
One-Size Setting Spray is her go-to for keeping her makeup fresh on the court. “I usually spray my beauty blender with my setting spray,” she said. “People usually wet the beauty blender under the water, but why not set it with this.”
Vogue/YouTube
She rounds out her beauty routine with mascara, brows, and her lip combo using Rare Beauty Kind Words Lip Liner and Covergirl Clean Fresh Yummy Gloss. But before closing, she made sure to give flowers to the WNBA stars before her who were also known for getting glammed on and off the court.
“I gotta give kudos to the girls who were wearing makeup before. Lisa Leslie, Skylar Diggins, Candace Parker. Everybody already had their edges and their lashes, lipstick on," she said. "Tina Thompson; she used to wear a full red lip on her lips during the game, but that’s something I could probably never do.”
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Feature image by Vogue/YouTube