How you start your day can very well determine how it will go and even how it will end. Kicking off your morning with self-affirmations can be a major game-changer for your entire day. It can up that confidence and help you accomplish so much more because you'll feel the strength to do it. I know I've had so many mornings when I just wake up in a funk, and that messes up my attitude for an entire day.
Adding these self-affirmations to my morning regimen, and then even repeating them throughout the day (because it's very clear that things and people can test us), has seriously helped me learn that I can control how my day goes and how I feel throughout it. Check out some of my favorites below.
"I'm More Than Enough"
As women, it's so easy to think we're not doing enough. We're constantly facing this battle and balance between self-care and providing for everyone else around us, and that's before rejection is thrown into the mix.
Having an off day can definitely make any woman come down way too hard on herself and make her feel like she's slipping. Having this daily reminder that you're not just enough but that you're more than enough can serve as a constant notice that you're doing an amazing job.
"I Don't Sweat The Small Stuff And Choose To Be Peaceful"
One night this week my husband and I had the smallest disagreement you can think of. I woke up the next morning and thought, "Am I still supposed to be mad at him?" I couldn't even remember what happened. I told him, and we laughed it off, but we haven't always been able to do that.
When it comes to marriage, work, or anything that can have unexpected challenges, it's so easy to sweat the small stuff and make it a much bigger deal than what it is. Going beyond just making the decision to not overexaggerate little things, and literally confessing that you won't do it, can help you laugh off the small conflicts that could have otherwise brought down your entire day and spirit.
"I Can Succeed In Anything I Put My Mind To"
Before you take on the day, say and believe that anything you go after will be successful. It doesn't have to be like every other seemingly ordinary day.
While this affirmation is pretty self-explanatory, it also calls for action, because you can't be successful at something if you don't know what success looks like for you. Think about writing down everything you want to accomplish. Later, you'll be able to look back at the day and see it as a great one. Then, go after every aspiration that you wrote down with the belief that you can do it.
If it doesn't turn out the way you plan, at least you'll be one step closer and can try again tomorrow.
"I Love Myself Just The Way I Am"
The morning seems to be the time where self-doubt and insecurities reign supreme. While we should be bright-eyed and twerking in front of the mirror from excitement about what the day will bring, it's easy to find ourselves picking apart every little detail of our inner and outer features.
At some point, we just have to tell ourselves that we're perfect the way we are. Saying this affirmation will help you start the day with confidence instead of anxiety and self-doubt. Feel free to repeat it when you're tempted to look into the mirror in your car and examine every part of you. Whatever flaws you have, doesn't mean that you're not worthy of self-love.
"I Don't Let Fear Stop Me From Trying New Things"
While it's easy to hate fear, it's even easier to let it rule over us. With it, we tend to stay in the box that we've always rocked. Without it, there's no limit to how far we can go.
I've always heard the statement fear stands for is False Evidence Appearing Real. So what are we afraid of? Confessing this affirmation about fear at the beginning of the day can help you tap into your bravery for something small like trying new food that you would never eat, to something major like starting a business.
"I Choose To Be Happy & Content Where I Am, On The Way To Where I'm Going"
This affirmation is an amazing one because it not only makes it clear that you'll be happy no matter what situation you're in but also says you don't plan on staying there.
It presents this perfect balance between being content and striving for more. It's a reminder to you that your life is an amazing one, but that there's so much more out there for you to experience. Saying this can not only make you feel better but inspire and push you to go after better.
"I'm Healthy And Make The Best Decisions For My Body"
If you're on this lifelong journey of living healthily, this affirmation will help you start your day off the way you've hoped. I know for me, there are days when I'll say I'm eating healthy and then eat five pieces of chocolate before I even realize what happened.
You might feel weird at first but making this confession in the morning and repeating it when those tempting moments come (because they definitely will) can get you closer to your goal than you might think. Soon you'll start feeling yourself like, "aayyyee I got this."
"I Choose To Get Rid Of Old Negative Habits And Embrace New Positive Ones"
What's one habit that you've been trying your hardest to break but can't? Write it down and remind yourself every morning that you're going to stop doing it. It's easy to fall into a habit for long periods of time without even recognizing that we're doing it. Before we know it, we've started doing something we feel like we can't stop.
Making this declaration daily is a reminder but can also let you know you're strong enough to overcome whatever you feel is holding you back.
"I Know My Own Self-Worth And My Confidence Is Amazing"
I think we can all benefit from saying this when we're scrolling on social media, or when we're at work and someone is coming for our patience.
Either way, letting yourself know that you're worth whatever you want and more helps boost that confidence and makes it clear to you more than anyone else that you're valued. Pairing this affirmation with other ones listed previously like, "I am enough" and "I love myself the way I am," can seriously bring your self-love to a new level and make your days so much better.
"The Best Is Yet To Come And Today Will Be The Best Day I've Ever Had"
No matter how great or bad your life is going, your best days can still be ahead. I was at an event recently and it seemed like the DJ refused to play songs outside of the 2003-2008 era, but I was completely fine with it because it reminded me of the amazing times I had in high school and college.
Sometimes it's so easy to glorify our past that we don't realize the life-changing moments we're in now and have ahead of us. Proclaiming this statement lets you know that while you've had some amazing times, the best is yet to come sis.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Fortunately, five simple words have simplified my dating process and ushered in clarity faster: “Would my husband do this?”
A couple of years ago, I met an entertainment lawyer who was tonguing down a twenty-something-year-old woman for breakfast while I slurped my green smoothie and chomped on a flatbread sandwich. Okay, Black love, I grinned and thought as I sauntered out of the Joe & The Juice. As soon as I stepped down from the front door, a torrential downpour of Miami summer rain cascaded and throttled me back inside to wait out the storm.
I grabbed a hot green tea and vacillated between peering out the wet door and anxiously checking my watch. My lengthy agenda started with attending the Tabitha Brown and Chance Brown’s “Black Love” panel, and I was already late. That’s when the lawyer introduced himself to me, after he made a joke about neither one of us wanting to get soaked by the rain. His female companion had braved the storm, leaving us to find our commonalities.
We both lived in L.A. and had traveled to the American Black Film Festival to expand our network. He represented various artists, including entertainment writers, while I was working as a writer/creative producer in Hollywood.
While there is no shortage of internet advice on how to strategically meet a prominent man at conferences, if I spend my hard-earned funds on career growth, I have tunnel vision, and that doesn’t include finding Mr. Right. So, I stowed his contact details away as strictly professional.
Keep It Cute Love And Hip Hop GIFGiphyAs the humidity and mosquitoes were rising around L.A., two months later, another suitor-turned-terrible match cooled off after three unimpressive dates and a bevy of red flags. I posted what some of my friends called a thirst trap, but it was really me wearing a black freakum jumpsuit with a plunging neckline to my friend’s 35th birthday soiree despite feeling oh, so unsexy and bloated on my cycle.
I’d been waiting to post a sassy caption and finally had the perfect picture to match: “You not asking for too much, you just asking the wrong MF.”
That’s when the entertainment lawyer swooped into my DMs and asked me to dinner. I was quite confused. Is he asking me on a date? Or is this professional? Common sense would’ve picked the former. Once it clicked that this would in fact be a date, I told my mentor, who’s been happily married for over twenty years and has often been a guiding light and has steered me away from the wrong men.
Upon telling him about how we met, he emphatically stated, “He ain’t it.” He followed up with a simple question, "You have to ask yourself: Would my husband do this? Would you tell others that you met your husband, tonguing down another woman, and later married him?"
Aint It No Way GIF by UFCGiphyOuch. The thought-provoking question cleared any haze. Prior to going out with the lawyer, the first thing I inquired about was the woman.
“You saw that?” He said, taken aback that I’d witnessed his steamy PDA. Surely, anyone with two open eyes peeped him caressing her backside as he kissed her in the middle of the coffee shop.
He brushed her off as a casual someone he’d gone on a couple of dates with but had since stopped talking to. He said he hadn’t been in a serious relationship in over three years. Though I was still doubtful, dating in L.A. is treacherous and ephemeral. Making it past three months is considered a rarity.
With my antennae alert, I dined with him at a cozy beachside steakhouse restaurant where we were serenaded by a live jazz band. I’d emphasized forming a platonic friendship first.
Break Up Friendship GIF by TLCGiphy“I’ll come to you,” he obliged. I liked that he had made me a priority by driving over 50 miles to see me. I also liked the effort he made to check in with me daily. But I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he initiated on a professional pretense and then alley hooped through the back door on a romantic venture, which bombarded me with confusion.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my dating life, God is not the author of confusion; any man who brings confusion, rather than clarity, is simply not The One. It doesn’t matter how many boxes he checks–eventually, that confusion will manifest itself into bigger problems, in time.
After diving into deeper conversations on the phone, post our first dinner date, I quickly realized this man was indeed not The One for me. But I’m grateful for the valuable lesson I learned.
I don’t expect some unattainable fairytale of a husband; we all have our own flaws and conflict is inevitable, but after dating for two decades, through failure and success, I’ve realized that the person I ultimately marry must mirror the values I exert into the world. He must reciprocate kindness, patience, and respect. He must be quick to listen and slow to respond. He needs to be forgiving and trustworthy, practice healthy communication, and be a man of his word at the bare minimum.
If I’d had “Would my husband do this?” in my toolbox when I was dating and floundering in stagnant relationships, in my twenties, it would’ve saved me a lot of precious time. But now that I’m equipped with the reminder, it’s allowed me to ground myself in my non-negotiables and set/maintain the standard for the special person, I’ll one day say, “I do,” to.
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