Every year, Saturn, also known as the "Lord of Karma", goes retrograde giving us a chance to reassess our personal limits, progression, and reputation. Saturn has been transiting its home sign Capricorn since 2017, helping us whip ourselves into shape to achieve the success we strive for, particularly related to career endeavors. This Saturn retrograde, taking place from April 29th up until September 6th, invites us to rise to the occasion.
The pressure is on this Summer and as much as you may want to shirk off all responsibilities to enjoy some fun in the sun, now is the time to dig deep within for the motivation and discipline needed to stay on top of your game.
This transit has the ability to offer powerful breakthroughs in at least one area of life, given your hard work and dedication (word to the late Nipsey Hussle). Saturn in Capricorn teaches us to embrace the gifts that come with running this marathon called life. The obstacles you experience will either make you or break you. It may feel like the pressure is on to get more serious in at least one area of your life but Saturn retrograde can help you face these challenges with a more empowered perspective. Your responsibilities will likely pile up over the next few months which also makes this transit an important time to reassess what you're invested in. It may be time to implement those boundaries and get comfortable saying "No" to things that distract you from handling business.
Check out how Saturn retrograde affects your zodiac sign this Summer:
Aries
Your career and public image will require a little extra effort during the next few months. As much as you want to let off the gas, now is the time to keep moving forward. However, this progression doesn't have to be about the big moves you're making in the eye of the public. Saturn retrograde is actually the perfect opportunity for you to tend to the details and develop yourself behind the scenes.
When it comes to your employer, you'll likely be reevaluating whether you're in the right place or not. You may be at a job solely for security purposes while lacking the actual passion for the work itself. This transit is initiating your paradigm shift from worker bee to queen bee. Just be mindful of any power struggles with your boss while you're in this transitory phase. By the time Saturn goes direct in September, you can very well find yourself in a position of greater influence, power, and respect.
Taurus
The next few months challenges you to come into your own beliefs that may not be the most conventional. Saturn retrograde in Capricorn invites us to dissolve the powers that be and for you, this power is related to your ideologies about God/Higher Self/whatever you wanna call "it". This Summer gives you the opportunity to explore the depths of your own wisdom instead of putting so much energy into external factors.
The same power that you pray to lives within you as well.
During this transit, your intuition will reach new levels. However, this can come with some pushback from people attempting to control you especially if you've got a spiritual teacher or mentor that's been invested in your development. You may decide that the boundaries within this connection need to be adjusted or the connection needs to be completely dissolved. Trust your instincts and know that your soul is guiding you towards your personal ascension regardless of how unconventional your path seems.
Gemini
Saturn retrograde is bringing down the hammer in a more sensitive part of your chart which can feel like a whole lot of inner chaos. Your psyche is undergoing a massive transformation over the next few months as you revisit some painful experiences that stripped you of your power. This is a time to reevaluate what a healthy relationship to power is. In the past, you may have been involved with people who mismanaged, manipulated, and even abused their influence in your life which has jaded your own perception of what it truly means to be in your power.
This Summer you'll be stripping away the false narratives that diminish your capabilities to achieve the blessings that are meant for you. Emotional volatility is common during this time. Meet yourself, wherever you are, with compassion. Seek to understand the suppressed emotions forcing their way into your conscious awareness. In due time, you will rise like the Phoenix from the ashes in all of your glory.
Cancer
Things are getting serious in the relationship department this Summer. Do I hear wedding bells? Sorry if I ruined the surprise but quite a few of you are in store for a proposal during this transit. This energy is make or break season when it comes to a significant relationship in your life. Saturn retrograde can be a challenging transit that requires you to consider what you really want when it comes to your long-term growth. Can you see you and this person truly going the distance? By September, you'll have your answer.
If you're not in a committed relationship, this transit can highlight where you need to make adjustments in a business partnership or employment contract. Reassess whether your current job has growth potential. If not, this is a good time to revamp your resume and explore other options. You could very well find yourself in a cushy position with more authority come the end of the Summer.
Leo
Saturn retrograde gives you the opportunity to reassess your routines, habits, and health. You may be overexerting yourself in one area of your life which has resulted in some unhealthy habits, whether it be an addiction to caffeine, working yourself to the bone, or neglecting your fitness routine.
The next few months is the divine intervention you need to whip you into shape both literally and figuratively speaking. This is a time to recommit to what matters to you most.
Getting back into your fitness routine is encouraged along with implementing more well-rounded, nutritious eating habits in your life. If you've been experiencing any strange physical symptoms, make that appointment with your doctor. It's better to be proactive instead of waiting for a minor problem to escalate into something more serious. Changes in your workplace or schedule are likely at this time. Figuring out a routine that works best for you to maintain your well-being is supported.
Virgo
The next few months brings your attention to romance, adventure, and creative expression. You may be considering a more serious commitment with someone you've been casually dating or weeding out people that don't have long-term potential. Saturn retrograde can bring on a more serious approach to our lives and if you've been excessively all about play, it's time to snap back into reality. Don't worry. Your pockets will thank you for this hiatus from all of your wining and dining, traveling, and entertainment.
If you have children, you may find them particularly demanding (as in expensive) during this transit. School is out for the summer which means higher bills, more trips to the grocery store, and tons of extracurricular activities that keep the lil' ones out of trouble. This Summer doesn't have to be a major wash out. You should still get out and enjoy yourself on occasion but keep in mind that you don't have to splurge to have a good time.
Libra
Saturn retrograde brings your focus to your family, home, and roots. You may be on the receiving end of a lot of pressure from your family, particularly the mother, during this transit. Traditions that run in your lineage are up for review over the next few months as you seek to discover who you are as an individual. There may be a significant person in your life attempting to shape and mold you into their idea of you. However, you're encouraged to draw the line in the sand when it comes to the way you choose to live your life.
If you've been struggling with breaking through some generational patterns, the "Lord of Karma" can assist in this transformation. Depending on what stage you're at in life, this is a great time to look into buying a home or relocating. Give yourself the next few months to get into the details before making your decision. If you're interested in starting a family, use this transit to create your fertility plan.
Scorpio
As one of the most sensitive signs of the zodiac, you have the tendency to get enmeshed in other people's lives swiftly and easily. Your empathic nature causes you to experience the pain of others on a visceral level that not everyone can relate to. Your soothing vibes make you a magnet for people seeking wisdom, guidance, and nurturing. Unfortunately, this can be a detriment to you if you don't keep your limits in mind.
It's important for you to understand the difference between enabling others and actually helping them. You can't do the work for people nor can you be everyone to everybody.
During this transit, you're encouraged to take a backseat from the affairs of siblings, friends, and even your online community to focus your energy on packaging your gems of wisdom into something more tangible like that memoir or self-help book you've been putting to the back-burner.
Sagittarius
During this Summer, you'll be challenged to set better boundaries when it comes to your finances. If you've been overspending or too generous with your money, it's time to reel it in, Ms. Money Bags. The next few months is an opportune time to reassess your budget as well as your source(s) of income. Maybe you've been exerting too much energy into an endeavor and not getting the return you expected.
Saturn retrograde often brings harsh realities with it. Be honest about how disciplined you've been in working towards your goals. During this transit you may also realize how your skills and talents are being undervalued in your current role. Seek opportunities that align with what you truly love to do by unraveling any lack-based programming that inhibits you from receiving the wealth that the Universe has to offer.
Capricorn
Saturn retrograde encourages you to reevaluate how you've been delegating your time and energy across all aspects of your life since the "Lord of Karma" is transiting your sign. Over the next few months, you'll be refining your personal image and how you want to be received by the world. This could involve something as simple as a makeover, but on a deeper level this transit is requiring you to make some adjustments when it comes to your behavior as well.
If you've been hiding in the shadows, now is the time to come front and center stage. Opportunities can't find you if you're playing hide and seek.
Saturn retro is also about recommitting to yourself by establishing boundaries between your own shit and what belongs to others. If you've been picking up the slack for someone else, they're likely in for a rude awakening during this transit. You've got enough on your plate as is. Be realistic about your limits and don't feel guilty about this crucial time in which you'll experience exponential growth within yourself and towards your personal goals.
Aquarius
This Summer brings your attention inwards to a more low-key part of your chart that will challenge you in the area of your subconscious patterns and self-sabotaging habits. Your dreams can be extremely insightful during this transit, gifting you with insight into your past, and potentially past lives, that helps you see how you've become entangled in a narrative of defeat and powerlessness. The next few months are best served diving deeper into your spiritual connection and developing your faith in the divine which ultimately lies within you.
For many of the other zodiac signs, this Saturn retrograde will be an external experience involving the more tangible aspects of life. Your experience, however, is more of an internal battle between your conscious and subconscious mind. As grueling as a transit in your 12th house can be, understand that the Universe is not punishing you. Remember, babe. Pressure makes diamonds.
Pisces
OK, Pisces. Saturn retrograde isn't your favorite time of the year due to your boundless, carefree nature. However, this transit will challenge you to draw the line between what's yours and what isn't. Your friendships and social networks are undergoing some adjustments over the next few months. As open and giving as you usually are, you may be feeling the burn of unreciprocated effort from some of the people in your tribe.
Instead of doing that thing where you try to force people to get on board, your energy will be better served in the pursuit of new connections. This doesn't mean you have to burn any bridges as you expand into new social territories. You're just learning how to better compartmentalize the relationships that don't offer as much value to your mission in life. Collaborating with more like-hearted individuals is favorable this Summer and you're likely to make some lifelong connections with some special people.
Featured image by Getty Images
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'We Had To Heal To Love': Taja Simpson And Ryan Easter’s Journey To Lasting Love
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
One of my favorite things about interviewing married couples and hearing their diverse “How We Met” stories is the way they affirm true love and integral beliefs. One principle that I wholeheartedly believe is that one must truly know and love oneself before effectively doing it for another human being, and Taja Simpson and Ryan Easter’s story affirms this.
Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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Feature image by @jorgemezaphotos
Years ago, I interviewed a Jewish woman who was married to a Christian man about how they make the holiday season work in their household. As someone who personally doesn’t observe holidays, a particular thing that she said has always stayed with me: “I don’t observe Christmas, but I can support the spirit of the season.”
Yeah, that resolve is something that I can get down with — and since sex is something that I write about, quite often, on this platform, I must admit that I do look forward to sharing some holiday-themed tips and hacks. For instance, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, check out “Here's How You And Your Partner Can Engage In Some 'Gratitude Sex'” from a few years back.
Or, if Christmas is your favorite time of the year, “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?” may provide you with some holiday inspiration (speaking of Christmas, instead of rose petals, how about putting some poinsettia leaves on your bed? If you heard somewhere that they can be toxic, you’d have to eat like 500 of them for that to be the case, so no worries).
This year, along these same lines, I decided to share 12 creative things that you can do starting now through Christmastime. Each idea is festive, fun, and has its own aphrodisiac element to it that very well could turn this holiday season into some of the best sex that you’ve ever had. Ready?
Unsplash
1. Snowstorm Sound Effects
Charge it to my mother being a New Yorker and/or me being born in Nebraska, but whenever I think of a romantic getaway, being in a log cabin that’s surrounded by nothing but pine trees and tons of snow is my idea of a really good time. Hmph, meanwhile, I’m writing this while Nashville is currently in the 60s-70s during the day. SMDH.
If you can currently feel my pain and you wish that you had a bit of snow around to get into the holiday season spirit, there are plenty of ASMR videos on YouTube that mimic snowstorms (like these here, here, and here) for you and your bae to cuddle up and listen or, umm, do other stuff to.
I mean, since science says that fall and winter are the best times for sex anyway (check out “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?”), why not do what you can to create as much of the ambiance as possible?
2. Paper Snowflakes (with Sexy Messages on Them)
Speaking of snow, when’s the last time that you’ve made some paper snowflakes? As a child, you may have created them for decoration. Now that you’re grown, though, put a bit of a twist to them by writing sexy messages on the back — you know, things like your favorite sex memory with your partner, a fantasy that you’d like to explore, or what you enjoy most about your man as far as intimacy goes.
You can put the snowflakes in your partner’s briefcase, underneath their pillow, or even hang them over your bed. If you’ve forgotten how to make them, no problem; click here for some instructions.
Unsplash
3. Portable Fireplaces (or Flameless LED Candles)
Last year, I purchased something that I think is too cute for a friend of mine: tiny reusable bonfires. If you don’t happen to have a fireplace in your home, on some levels, they are the next best thing because they can create a romantic mood on a smaller level. I especially like tabletop firepits (like this one here) and even portable mid-century LED fireplaces (like this one here). Or, if you want something a bit larger, there are indoor tabletop fireplaces that are smokeless and odorless (like this one here).
Speaking of fires, if you and your partner plan on some R&B (meaning all night long) sex, I’d feel better if you went with some LED candles or something. You can put dozens of them all over your bedroom, have sex, fall asleep, and not have to worry about them one bit.
4. DIY Sex Gratitude Journal
How fitting is it that writer William Arthur Ward once said, “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it?" Since Thanksgiving is the holiday when all are encouraged to express thanks for what they are truly grateful for, purchase a fresh journal, decorate it, and then fill it with things about intimacy with your man that truly moves you.
Then, read some of the entries out loud to him. Learning how to incorporate all five senses (in this case, hearing) into sexual activity (check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever”) is how to make the experiences better than they’ve ever been.
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5. Homemade Candied Pecans
Pecan pie is pretty popular around this time of year. Well, did you know that pecans are considered to be aphrodisiacs? The main reason is that they are a fairly good source of zinc and zinc increases blood circulation, boosts your libido, and can even help with erectile dysfunction (if that’s something that your partner happens to deal with). So, why not curl up and snack on some homemade candied pecans (easy recipe here) while watching a movie or listening to some holiday music together? You never know how delicious the night may turn out to be because of it. Literally.
6. Cranberry (or Gingerbread) Syrup
A few years ago, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious.” In it, I shouted out chocolate syrup; however, today, I’m gonna go with something that is a little less…predictable. Chile, we already know that cranberry sauce is gonna be sitting on somebody’s Thanksgiving table, and there’s a pretty good chance that a gingerbread house (or at least some gingersnaps) is going to be available over Christmas, so why not pick up some cranberry or gingerbread syrup?
Since cranberries and ginger are both considered to be aphrodisiacs, it can be a super sexy move to dab a bit of syrup on some of your favorite sex pressure points (and his).
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7. A Lil' “Sex Christmas Tree”
Whether you plan on putting a (real, right?) Christmas tree in your living room or not, again, in the spirit of the holiday, get a small artificial one for a nightstand or the top of your dresser in your bedroom. Then you can hang a few sex-related items like flavored condoms, Santa hat nipple pasties, sex position ornaments, edible penis wraps, and picture strips — and whatever else your freaky lil’ mind can think of!
8. Edible Bows
Red velvet lingerie is definitely a nice touch during the holiday season. And although whether men prefer lingerie or nudity is really up to which guy you ask, I can’t think of one who is gonna have a problem with you wrapping your birthday suit up in a bow — especially if it’s an edible one. Yep, I actually came across a YouTube video (here) that walks you through how to make one of those. And although it’s not something that you can do in 10 minutes or less, I do think the end result will make it far worth the time investment. Don’t you?
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9. Pumpkin-Flavored Whipped Cream
Another sex condiment that I shared in the article that I referred to earlier is whipped cream. Since pumpkins are currently in season, acknowledge them by bringing some pumpkin-flavored whipped cream into the mix. You can always purchase the kind that’s already made (like this brand here), or you can even make a batch of your own (via a recipe like this here). That way, you can customize how sweet and thick you want the cream to be in order to stand up to your…plans. #wink
10. Bourbon Eggnog
Eggnog is definitely a signature holiday drink, and a few years back, I shouted it out in the article “12 Traditional Christmas Items That Are Low-Key Aphrodisiacs Too.” Why? Well, the vanilla, honey, and nutmeg that’s in it are all considered to be aphrodisiacs. If you add a bit of bourbon (which is a type of whiskey) to it, that can help to calm your nerves, which can ultimately make climaxing so much easier to do. A recipe for homemade bourbon eggnog is right here.
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11. Peppermint Chocolate Bath Bombs
Peppermint and chocolate will also be in abundance around the holidays, and, as life would have it, they are considered to be aphrodisiacs,too. So, whether you plan on soaking in the bath to prepare for what the night has to offer or you and your boo thang are going to hang out in the tub together (even better!), why not throw a few DIY peppermint chocolate bath bombs (recipe here) in there? The scent alone will make you want to turn each other into your desserts after you get up outta there.
12. Sexy Homemade Holiday Lip Balm
Even though I am well aware of the fact that some people hate to kiss (check out “Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?”), I also know that science says that kissing can help you find your ideal partner, and it can definitely make your sexual experiences better (check out “Wanna Climax More? KISS MORE.”). And although things like shea butter and batana oil (a personal favorite of mine) can give you some super smooth lips (after exfoliating them, of course), kissing will be even more scrumptious if you’ve got some flavored lip balm on.
A peppermint lip balm recipe is here (add a bit of Stevia, honey, or date sugar for flavoring), a chocolate lip balm recipe is here, and a vanilla lip balm recipe is here. Your man won’t be able to get enough of you — all holiday season long! ‘Tis the season, chile.
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