Arielle Simone, also known across social media as the Holistic Mami,” has gained an audience online for talking about wellness and her holistic approach to health.
Whether she’s advocating for hot yoga or telling people to take their gut health seriously, Simone is always giving us the tea on how to get physically and spiritually aligned. xoNecole spoke with Simone about how to romanticize your life and start your wellness journey as a Holistic Mami too.
xoNecole: Have you always been into wellness and if not what made you want to get into it?
Arielle Simone: I was not always into wellness, but I was always into moving my body. I used to eat whatever whenever. I noticed that my skin was really bad. My balance was really bad. I was consistently bloated and constipated. I was a model originally. I used to model and I was very dehydrated, not taking care of myself. Now my skin is really clear. I take care of my diet. Things have definitely started to get better.
xoNecole: What does an average day look like for you?
AS: I wake up at six A.M. and I pray, journal, meditate, stretch – in that very order. And I read a lot. My morning routine is two hours, I’m gonna be honest it’s a solid two hours. Then I cook or I go to the gym. I get on the computer and do some work. I write some wellness content. I spend time with my snake.
Some days, I don’t eat super super nutritious, but I think it’s important to find a balance between what feels good and what is good.
Arielle Simone
Courtesy of Arielle Simone
xoNecole: In your Vogue interview you spoke about romanticizing your life. What does that look like for you?
AS: I find the luxuries in everything, and I mean everything. Finding the luxury of having time in the morning. The sun started piercing through the window and hitting your skin. Finding the luxury in having more time to journal. Having an able working body that you can massage yourself, wash yourself, brush your teeth. I try to find the luxury in every little thing.
I do want to add that the five love languages, it's important to practice that on yourself. That's a good way that I have been romanticizing my life. So I really like gifts and I really like physical touch. So I'd love to massage myself. I love to touch on myself. I be looking at my little scars and my cuts like, “you gonna be alright; you gonna be fine.” It’s things like that that I find to be very romantic.
xoNecole: You are intentional about directing much of your advice towards Black women, can you talk a bit about that?
AS: Black women are the highest demographic in high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, and heart attacks. And that’s alarming. And I feel like because we go through so much on a day-to-day basis, it's hard for us to understand and listen to our bodies. It’s hard when you’re taking care of the family, when we are dealing with work and just dealing with people on a day to day basis, it's hard to check in and see: “Hey, do I have energy? Have you stretched? Maybe I need to spend time in nature. Maybe I need to call my friends.”
Everything feeds us–from the conversations that we have to the music that we listen to, the podcast we get into. Everything we engage in is a part of our diet.
xoNecole: What are the unique barriers you think Black women face when trying to engage in wellness that you see?
AS: Not knowing where to start or not having the resources or not being around a healthy bodega or a healthy food store or not being able to afford to invest into wellness. But I think for sure just not knowing where to start and not seeing people like us talk about [wellness].
xoNecole: What are the ways in which Black women can start their wellness journeys?
AS: I think it’s really important to start off with a morning routine. I’m a big believer in how you start your day is how you start your life. And if we wake up scrambled or we pick up the phone immediately and we’re looking at everybody else’s business before we can even see, like, do my legs work? Can I get up?
So if you have no idea how to start with wellness, I would absolutely start with how you start your day. Waking up a little earlier. Finding out what you need and breaking it down into three small categories like mind, body, soul. What does my mind need right now to be stimulated? Should I be reading or should I be meditating? What does my body need? Do I need to stretch? Do I need some fresh air? Do I need a warm cup of tea? Do I need silence? Should I go on a hike? You can just start the day catering to yourself.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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