In xoNecole's Our First Year series, we take a more in-depth look at love and relationships between real-life couples, married and unmarried with an emphasis on what their first year in love was like. These couples allow us to journey through their love stories with them – the ups, the downs, the triumphs, and the tribulations of what it takes to make their love work.
One look at Rog and Bee Walker will have you thinking the couple were absolutely made for each other.
When you speak with them, you understand the full breadth in the validity of that belief. He is the yin to her yang, she is the rhyme to his reason. And equipped with her bushy crown of hair, his signature fedora, and their mutually impeccable sense of style – the two New York-based creatives are truly one another's match.
Rog and Bee are lovers first and collaborators second, having met in work-related circumstances nearly eight years ago when Tumblr led Bee to an event Rog would be at. She had admired his work from afar.
They started dating soon after and were married shortly after that. Rog even popped the question to Bee on bended knee through a Tumblr ask. And now the Walkers, in addition to a fruitful marriage are putting their love into their work with the collaborative effort Paper Monday. "Since the beginning, we've always to make the work a part of what we're doing," Rog said in regard to the ongoing visual project. "It's the evolution of like our desire to tell stories and to make a space for those stories to live. It's also a space for us to continue to collaborate and continue to tell those stories and to work together and to put our heart, passion, and work into something. It's storytelling and collaborating and working together."
The couple delved deeper into the journey of their love story, how they met, how work comes into play, and ultimately what makes their love revolutionary.
The One
Bee Walker: We spent so much time together in the beginning because we wanted to, and we liked each other, and we just were enjoying each other and enjoying getting to know each other. It was so easy to spend time together. It was just easy to talk. It was easy… easy to be myself. And I felt that he was really being himself. We were just having a lot of fun together, but we were also talking and baring our souls to each other and getting to know how the other person is. At some point, I could just feel it.
Rog Walker: I was going through a period in life where I was just transitioning in culture, transitioning from my parents' culture. And I was going out meeting different types of people – people I've never met before like the most stylish black men – and all these different types of things. So, I think Bee was something – the balance [was] right – like in her personality. Like, I felt like she understood me and understood that that makes a culture because she was also from a somewhat conservative liberal immigrant family, but she's also interested in creative things.
I think we overlook the importance of those cultural connections and that understanding.
With Bee, we were able to connect on both those things and understand like the foundational elements of who we are, but also had like the progressive thought process of how we see the world and how we envision our future and how things are done. For me, when we understand that meeting someone like you that had the mix of culture who can relate, and we could see eye to eye, that's rare. So, I knew this was something that was important and special.
The Best Part
Bee: What I love most about Rog is he has such a consistent and enduring positive personality. Like, he's just on that side of the fence. He's not even aware of the fence. You know there's another way to be and I think that's so wonderful. Like he literally wakes up happy, ready to go dancing, song on his heart. He's like, let's go! Let's do this life thing, which is really good for me. It's just good to be around.
Rog: And I think Bee kind of opened me up to a whole 'nother world. I was born in Jamaica, my parents are very Jamaican as well, so there's like this stern, hard way of loving. And I think Bee is just so soft, so sweet, so compassionate. And she's very, very intelligent. I remember I was kind of intimidated by what she can bring to the table, just from an intelligence standpoint. And she's sweet. I feel like what's underrated is how supportive she is, and I don't think that's a lesser trait because I think I'm better because of her, something I don't take for granted.
Revolutionary Love
Rog: I think a lot of times, people desire love as a concept or as something that's defined by culture or whatever, but when it comes to our love, or like, our relationship, I really see it as revolutionary that it has impact beyond that general concept of Netflix and chill or whatever the case may be. But we do things [where we ask], can we impact life together as a unit and within our partnership? And that's something that I always wanted. We're really taking on our purpose in life and the things that we want to do together. And strengthening one another and strengthening the impact of our individual ties. So, our love being revolutionary is really more so about us being a true partnership that impact the world and like really takes on and tackles our purpose in the world together.
Bee: Marriage in the world is a convention and it's something that people read into and they kind of have a tendency to emulate things that they've seen done in other relationships they've been around relationships in media for example. What I've noticed and what's revolutionary and will feed into that goal is that a partnership between two people is something that [has] never existed before so that's the revolutionary part of our relationship.
I realize it's not a place to imitate things I've seen, but a place where new things grow out of.
No two people just like us have been together before, so the things that come out of our union are new and so, in that sense, the goal for me once I realized that is hand in hand with what Rog said. You know, cultivate a place where we can give out of what's coming from us.
Mentors In Marriage
Bee: Before we got married, we sat down with all of the people that we love and trust to talk about marriage. We did like, sort of an informal marriage counseling with his parents, with my parents, with a couple of other couples that we knew at that time who were really solid and had great families and everything. That was probably one of the best things that we did early on, because we spoke to a good set of people who were like our parents and also people like us, who we aspired to live our lives like. After the fact, I think we both learned that it was wise to talk to each other.
It's prayer. It's talking to God. It's reading.
Those are the things that have really helped us when we need advice and we need guidance.
Lessons In Love
Rog: The most important lesson I've learned is that there's more than one way to be right. I was raised very specific like, this is right, this is how you do it, you do it at this pace, you do it like this. And it's easy to go into the world and judge other people's processes, but it's respecting the intelligence or ability to solve a problem in her own way makes you realize that there's more than one way to be right and to respect the process about other people's processes as well. Allowing other people to have their space and allow my convictions to be my own.
Bee: The most important thing I've learned is that there are so many different ways to have a good life. I've learned that there are so many ways to have a fulfilling and joy and love-filled life. And it can look a lot of different ways and maybe don't have one of those things and your life is still beautiful and full of love and that's the most important thing. That's changed my worldview entirely.
One & The Same
Rog: I'm really big on working with intention, but without expectation. I think together – I know for me and for Bee – it is really an operational purpose. The goal for us is theoretical in a sense. I know we want to be excellent and I know we want to impact people, we want to give love to our craft. Our goal isn't to get anything per se but to be someone or to be the type of person, the type of creative that showcases love and humanity. We really want to tell stories and impact life and culture in an authentic way.
Bee: For me and for us, the goal, like Rog said, is to give to give. Out of that, and to give out of our abundance and get out of our love. Just cultivating those places where we can do that and [have] the ability to do that.
For more Rog and Bee, follow them on Instagram, and be sure to check out their beautiful project Paper Monday.
RELATED
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert