

As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is Roberta Moradfar's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
I am Santa Monica's favorite face sculptor.
And I love and enjoy every aspect of what I do.
My company is EFFACÈ Aesthetics. We specialize in expert facial aesthetics and beauty and have managed to build a solid business model around what we're most passionate about.
To put it blatantly, I am here to give my sistas the best botox, lip injections, fillers, or a variety of other premium services, to anyone looking to revitalize and refresh—allowing you to glowingly live your best wrinkle-free life.
In December 2019, I had the grand opening of my first full-service medical spa, and it was the most rewarding moment of my career. We have amazing aestheticians that have become a family of bomb women looking to serve you facial rejuvenation on a diamond-encrusted platter.
It takes years to achieve what we have, lots of practice, and ongoing education to keep up with the latest and greatest in aesthetics. And with lots of hard work, my platform is super prideful of our trained artistic eye and thorough comprehension of facial anatomy (blood vessels, nerves, and muscles' locations and functions), all the while having the motor skills to be able to smoothly, yet gently, achieve desired results.
My journey to where I am today, as with all entrepreneurs, was anything but easy.
But struggling with acne since the age of 14 and knowing the psychological effects it can have on any young man or woman, is why I was determined to become invested in skincare. Most importantly: ethnic skincare.
Changing Perceptions & Erasing The Stigmas
I started out as an ICU nurse in New Jersey when I was 22 years old and transitioned into laser and aesthetics just a few years after moving to Los Angeles at 25. I was hired at a well-known laser and aesthetics company based in Los Angeles. I had always loved beauty and skincare, but here, I began to really understand the science of medical grade cosmetic products and treatments. It helped me realize that all the expensive products that I would buy in department stores were just that: expensive products.
For many years, plastic surgery and aesthetics were always geared towards a rich, upper class society. And we were made to believe it's a "white thing" to get your lips and Botox done. There seems to be a lack of trust regarding products and services that claim to be safe for all skin types.
And ladies, why is this? Because graceful aging and rejuvenation is for us too!
Social media has been instrumental in showing and proving that. Celebrities, reality stars, and social media influencers have openly documented their aesthetic journeys, and sharing procedures that help keep their appearances fresh, regardless of race, but especially within the black community. This has influenced the younger generation to become much more open-minded to the idea of aesthetics, no matter ethnicity, and thus encapsulating what I preach every day.
As a result, we have seen an increase in that demographic, where they have been getting procedures like preventative Botox as well as minor enhancements using fillers.
I was actually so happy to see Deion Sanders become the first male spokesperson for Botox—or as I like to call it for the fellas, "Brotox". I especially think it was cool because not only is he promoting aesthetics services for men, but he's also a black high-profile athlete. I believe he has really sparked the interest of men who fear being "feminine" for wanting to follow through on anti-aging procedures.
Maybe She's Born With It, Maybe It's My Work
One of the most frequent components of my line of work, is constant questioning as to which service would be best to those of us who are hesitant to move forward with any face sculpting procedures.
And in response, my comprehensive list of misconceptions vs. benefits came into fruition:
Botox
Misconceptions: People often mistake full-looking lips as having "Botox in their lips" (that would be filler). Another misconception is that Botox makes you look unnatural.
Importance: Botox is a great preventative intervention to premature aging when done conservatively.
Fillers
Misconceptions: inserting a syringe in the lips will give you a “duck" look, or you'll look like the cat lady if you continue getting fillers. Another common misconception is that once you start getting Botox and fillers, it'll look worse once you stop so you're forced to continue.
Importance: Getting fillers usually helps you look more rejuvenated and they often go well when combined with Botox and other non-invasive treatments such as chemical peels or laser resurfacing.
Skin Treatments
Misconceptions: You'll appear to have bleached your skin if you get a peel. Or that chemical peels leave you with burns or that it hurts. Another one is that only one session of a laser treatment is needed for desired results.
Importance: Everyone needs to do at least one peel a year to help stimulate skin cell turnover—you'll have baby butt skin.
Laser Hair Removal
Misconceptions: You have to be a certain skin tone for this procedure, or that you can't have a dark complexion. Another one is that only a few sessions is needed for permanent hair removal. A really common one is that it hurts!
Importance: Laser hair removal is—hands down—a lifesaver! Everyone that has unwanted hair needs to do it!
A Journey Continued
Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I take in a few deep breaths and feed myself positive affirmations. I then follow that up with a little prayer.
Works every time.
I also try to routinely schedule myself for deep tissue massages. Because I have strange body mechanics while injecting, my neck, upper back and shoulders need adjusting from time to time, and I do occasionally see a chiropractor for that as well. I enjoy a good dinner with some cocktails with girlfriends, especially when we haven't had a moment to catch up on what's new in our lives.
I enjoy walks every other day, and my fiancé and I either do yoga together, or he swims laps in the pool for cardio as I watch on drinking a green juice.
Lastly, I read. I love self-care books and right now I'm reading Marie Kondo's The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and realizing during COVID-19 how all of our "things" really don't matter. So, I think after reading this book, trips to HomeGoods and Marshalls will be a wrap.
—
Fortunately, for my team and I, we haven't seen any affects from our current state of this pandemic, and business is actually booming thanks to our online beauty products—and social media. While most companies are losing money, we have been doing the exact opposite, which we don't take for granted.
As for what's next, we're introducing a team of highly-skilled physicians at EFFACÉ that will add services to our brand. We'll also be bringing on an in-house psychiatrist on weekends that specializes in depression IV therapy (which has been proven to be more effective and safer than medications).
But most importantly, we're going to continue to serve and encourage women—and men—to have the audacity to be fearless in feeling beautiful again.
And we'll do so one chemical peel, laser hair removal session, and Botox injection at a time.
To continue to follow Roberta's journey, you can find her on Instagram at @effacebyroberta.
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
The ChatGPT Prompts That Got Me Through A Career & Life Transition
Oftentimes when we hear about ChatGPT prompts, there's always some sort of business pitch, entrepreneurship push, or other shortcut connected to money-making. (Well, at least that's been the annoying case with my Instagram feed.) It's undeniable, though, that ChatGPT prompts can be game-changers, even beyond business plans or revenue schemes.
For me, creating and using my own ChatGPT prompts has been more about self-motivation, self-development and inspiration, especially at a tough time of career transitions and personal shifts. And as cray-cray as things seem in the U.S., especially related to one's livelihood, future financial stability, and overall mental health, I decided to take back a bit of my power using a great AI resource that you'll literally wonder how the hell it knows you so well to even answer your prompts so accurately.
Here are a few ChatGPT prompts that have been super-helpful and empowering related to career and finances. Simply visit OpenAi.com/Index/ChatGPT (or use the app of your choice), copy and paste the prompts, and be sure to fill in the blanks before submitting them:
The "Level Up" Prompt
Write an encouraging letter to a Black [your age]-year-old woman who is a [occupation] and wants to level up in her career. She lives in [city and/or state], earns [your yearly salary], and wants to be able to [career passion 1], [career passion 2], [career passion 3] during her work day. She also wants to earn [your dream salary] and work from [office/home/dream place of business] but feels challenged by [briefly state challenge here in 3-4 words.]
I swear ChatGPT got me all the way together, reminded me of the amazing experienced journalist, editor, and speaker that I am, and gave quick tips on how to take things to the next level that are actually doable.
The "Get My Credit Card Debt In Check" Prompt
Write a detailed plan, with categories, for a woman in her [age group] who is a [occupation] earning [your yearly salary]. She wants to cut at least 50 percent of her current credit card debt of [card balance] with an APR of [percentage]. Her minimum payment is [amount] and she'd like to cut down in [days/months/years]. Her expenses include [list] along with non-negotiable spending on [leisure/travel/fitness/wellness or other activity].
From here, it can also create spreadsheets or you can request that it get more specific with each category. You can also request that the plan be adjusted based on the first response and whether it truly fits something you can realistically do. Add more specific details based on your life, the unique challenges you face, or other options you have in mind knowing what you're capable of or you're realistically interested in doing to pay off a debt.
The "Retire Early" Prompt
Write a step-by-step early retirement plan for a woman age [your age]. She has [time in years] of experience in [industry] and has been working for her current company for [how many years]. She also currently earns [amount] per year. She lives in [city and/or state], [rents/owns], and has [amount] in savings. She also has [amount] in her 401K [or Roth IRA---whichever is relevant to your situation.] She currently has [amount] in her checking account(s). [Add any other details about your earnings including side hustles, businesses, freelance work, settlements, lottery, rental income, or other funds you have access to.] She has [amount] in unpaid debt. She'd like to retire by [age; and be reasonable sis] and live in [city and state/country].
While early retirement might seem like a pipe dream to some of us, a prompt like this lets you know that it's more possible than you think. It's also something great to take to a financial adviser so you can sift through what's actually doable (based on real-life scenarios) and what's not.
The "Career Pivot" Prompt
Write a plan for a woman who works as a [occupation] and wants to pivot into earning money doing [new career or career activity]. She is passionate about [activity or goal] to serve [potential audience/client/customer]. She wants to transition out of [current career] to earn [amount] doing [new career or career activity] by [time/date] and earn [dream income that you'd make doing the new career activity]. Include steps and categories. Include a timeline to achieve this by [date].
This is a helpful prompt when you feel stuck in your current role (or even your career altogether) and simply need inspiration on what could be the perfect pivot. You can update this to include different career activities or scenarios, add company names or brands, and even ask for pitches or ways to brand yourself online to achieve this goal.
The "Faith-Filled Career Confidence Booster" Prompt
Write a letter from God to a woman who is feeling like she is behind in life. She feels lost and scared, especially with everything that is going on in the U.S. right now, politically and economically. She is [age], works as a [occupation], and lives in [city/state]. She has [educational degrees or training], loves [three passions/hobbies/favorite activities], and has [mention family, spouse, children, or other loved one, even if a pet here.] She is [mention three things you like about yourself including one about your appearance]. She wants to achieve [list two small but important goals here that are related to personal and/or professional life]. She has faced [list any major and specific challenges, briefly, here] and does not know how she will handle these challenges. Include [Bible verses] of encouragement to study.
This prompt had me in tears, but it reminded me of my Biblical upbringing and my foundation for success and motivation. It also reminded me to get stronger in my faith, to read my Bible a bit more, and to stop allowing doom and gloom to inform my approach to problem-solving.
The "Talk That Career Ish" Prompt
Write a letter from the perspective of a football [or sport of your choice] coach for a woman aged [age] who works as the best [occupation] in [city, state]. She has accomplished [list 3-5 highlights of your career, whether past or recent] and is a leader in [relevant business or career activities that reflect leadership, whether you've accomplished these things or they're aspirational]. She brings the following skills to the work with her: [list 2-5] and she is proud of [aspirational career goal of you at your highest career self.]
Add in the name of your favorite coach and this gets even better! (I used Deion Sanders, but choose who you want.) You'll not only get hyped up to remember the fabulous bad boss you are, but you'll also get tips on how to be even more successful in the future.
Try any of these prompts and use them as stepping stones to prompt positive thinking, further conversations for financial and career planning, or just a fun and potentially constructive distraction from all the mess that's going on. Dig deeper and request more specific steps, inclusions of actual resources like books, conferences, or course recommendations, or create images, vision boards, or graphs. Add in specifics that will help you remain accountable in planning to meet a specific financial or career goal.
Also, this is a big one: Be sure to remember that ChatGPT is simply a tool. It's neither a genie nor the Almighty. You'll need to fact-check, use common sense, and adjust any sort of plans based on your actual reality. Try out these ChatGPT prompts as springboards for sparking imagination, motivation, and innovation.
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Featured image by Getty Images