I recently took a look around my circle and realized that I'm the only one who isn't a mom. As I approach my 27th birthday, this is a sobering thought.
As I straddle this hump that is a quarter-life crisis, I realize that while my biological clock is still ticking, I no longer have the time or the energy to pour into sh*t that doesn't serve me and this is true when it comes to every area of my life––professional opportunities, friendships, and most especially, romantic relationships, and in her recent exclusive with British Vogue, our favorite bad girl revealed that after her most recent birthday, she has that same energy.
The singer, who ended her long-term relationship with her ex-Saudi billionaire bae, Hasaan Jameel, earlier this year explained that as she settles into her 30s, she has a higher vision for her future and a much lower tolerance for bullsh*t. She told the publication:
"Since I turned 32, I'm realizing life is really short. You don't have a lot of time to tolerate shit, you know? You put so much on your plate. When you're overwhelmed, you need to start cutting things out. And I'm overwhelmed too much. What's happening now is that I'm going back to black and white. My grey area is shutting down."
In lieu of her very lucrative business dealings, aggressive philanthropic work, and upcoming studio album, Rihanna has now decided to put her dating life on hold and shift her attention to securing a bag. While this workaholic says that non-stop late nights and early mornings can become taxing, her hustle is inspired by this very important reason:
"I'm working like this now so that I don't have to in the future. I know I will want to live differently."
Thanks to technology, women are finally able to take the wheel when it comes to our biological clocks and Rihanna says that she's willing to take that ride alone if she has to. When the multihyphenate hustler was asked where she sees herself in 10 years, she revealed that she'll be well on her journey into motherhood, with or without a man and honestly, same sis.
"Ten years? I'll be 42! I'll be ancient. I'll have kids—three or four of 'em."
While others may not be in agreement with Rihanna's potential path to motherhood, she says that it's a choice that she's made with confidence.
"Hell, yeah. I feel like society makes me want to feel like, 'Oh, you got it wrong…' They diminish you as a mother if there's not a dad in your kids' lives. But the only thing that matters is happiness, that's the only healthy relationship between a parent and a child. That's the only thing that can raise a child truly, is love."
To read Rihanna's full interview, click here!
Featured image by Andrea Raffin / Shutterstock.com
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak