
'RHOP' Star Dr. Wendy Osefo Ain’t Worried About What You Think, Here’s Why

As women approach milestone birthdays, the prospect of change can make you cringe. Yet, for The Real Housewives of Potomac star Dr. Wendy Osefo—professor, entrepreneur, investor, media personality, and mom—turning 40 became a liberating opportunity to redefine and rebrand herself.
In an exclusive conversation with xoNecole, she shared 5 invaluable lessons on embracing pivots with courage, gratitude, and confidence, offering a step-by-step strategy for other women seeking to navigate life’s transitions fearlessly.
Lesson 1: Your Glow Up Starts With Gratitude
For Dr. Wendy, her 40s signify a season of gratitude—a conscious choice to pause, reflect, and celebrate her accomplishments. “When you chase the next thing, you forget to appreciate what you’ve already accomplished,” she explained. “I’m in a season of being still and grateful
This shift isn’t just a mood; it’s a mindset. Gratitude is more than just saying "thank you"—it’s the practice of recognizing how far you’ve come and using that energy to fuel your next steps. Instead of running on empty, you pivot from a place of fullness and confidence, ready to create even more magic.
Lesson 2: Fear and Success Can’t Coexist
One of the standout moments in Dr. Wendy’s interview was her declaration that fear and success cannot exist in the same space. “Where one exists, the other naturally dies,” she said.
By stepping away from academia, Wendy exemplifies the power of trusting the unknown, taking calculated risks, and betting on yourself. Her decision wasn’t rooted in failure or dissatisfaction but in recognizing that her purpose was pulling her in a different direction.
Her own journey reflects this truth as she transitions from a successful academic career to new entrepreneurial ventures, including her luxury home goods line, Oni Home Essentials, and the release of her book, Tears of My Mother. One thing that she’s especially proud of is the social impact she’s able to provide in the Black community through her latest venture, Happy Eddie, whose social equity programming aims to eliminate systematic barriers to people of color in the multibillion-dollar legal cannabis industry.
"If something no longer serves you, then you should no longer serve it."
Lesson 3: Knowing When to Let Go
One of the most challenging parts of pivoting is determining when to release something that no longer serves you. Dr. Wendy’s filtering system is simple yet profound: “If it doesn’t serve you, then you should no longer serve it.”
For years, she balanced multiple roles: professor, commentator, wife, mom, and entrepreneur. But over time, she realized that her academic role, while fulfilling in the past, no longer aligned with her priorities. Letting go of this title wasn’t easy, but it allowed her to channel energy into projects that reflect her current passions and values, outside of education.
This lesson is especially relevant for Black women, who often carry the burden of being everything to everyone. Wendy’s story reminds us that prioritizing ourselves isn’t selfish—it’s essential for sustained growth and happiness.
“It feels liberating not to care about others’ expectations.”
Lesson 4: The Liberation of Turning 40
There’s a unique freedom that comes with entering your 40s, and Wendy articulated it beautifully. “At 40, I’ve stopped second-guessing myself,” she said. “It feels liberating not to care about others’ expectations.”
For Wendy, this milestone marked the end of her people-pleasing era—a habit ingrained during her upbringing in a Nigerian household. She reflected on how her decisions were once guided by the need for external validation, but at 40, she’s unapologetically prioritizing her own needs and desires.
This liberation isn’t exclusive to age; it’s a mindset shift available to anyone ready to shed the weight of others’ opinions. Wendy’s story encourages us to embrace the confidence to stand firm in our choices, regardless of societal pressures.
Lesson 5: Embracing Fresh Starts
Describing her 40s as a new chapter, Wendy compared it to a book filled with blank pages, waiting to be written. “The beauty of it is fresh pages, nothing written, no expectations—it’s for you and you alone,” she shared.
Whether you’re switching lanes in your career, leveling up personally, or ready to pivot away from it all, Wendy’s story is the perfect reminder that every phase of life is a blank page. It’s not just about starting over—it’s about owning your power to write your own story.
Watch this interview below with Dr. Wendy and to hear how she was able to find her new path by fearlessly pivoting:
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Feature image by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Glamour
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak