

Having a hoe phase and being friends with benefits are concepts most commonly utilized by generations that came after the 1960s sexual revolution. This is not to say these concepts were nonexistent before that time, but more so that they were not socially embraced...sans the colorful language, of course. However, the millennial generation was once baptized in what eventually came to be known as "hookup culture." One can only speculate that the social acceptance of hooking up is where things look extremely different from previous generations, as it has been largely accepted at this point.
In fact, it’s become so normalized that I have found myself feeling bad that I can’t get down with the get down. Not really. I’m that girl and have come to live with the fact that I always will be – casual sex isn’t for me, not penetrative anyways. In other words, I will get some head and head out. But casual penetrative sex always proves to be far too intimate for me to do without some type of romantic connection.
That being said, it has always been thought that women just don’t have what it takes to fully immerse themselves in hookup culture without eventually attaching strings. However, per this misogynistic TikToker, research alleges that hookups are impacting everyone as a whole and it’s not for the reasons we once thought it to be. In fact, what this research suggests, is like every other mammal in this world, we eventually learn to evolve with the circumstances instead of being written off as extinct. Hookup culture, be damned.
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Over time, the human brain adapts and rewires itself so that the new pattern doesn’t come with strings attached, and hooking up feels like less of an emotional chore. Though this might seem good at the moment, the same research suggests that if you are someone who eventually desires a romantic connection, your brain then has a difficult time remembering how to thrive under those lovey-dovey circumstances as it now requires itself to readapt and remember how to do so.
I’ve never been opposed to the protest against hookup culture backed by more reasoning than a societal “because I said so.” But, I have been opposed to how it is always framed as "the burden of women." It’s never a nuanced discussion and always a gendered discussion about how women are far "too emotional" to be able to tolerate hookups. Not only is it a problematic statement, but it is also false. Men are just as emotional as women, the difference lies in their inability to express emotion as anything in between anger and contentment (because I'm not even sure they know how to express joy).
Though I’m not deep into the research aspect of this, I truly do believe in "kill or be killed." I believe in evolution. This makes it difficult for me to ignore the likelihood that eventually a generation of brains would come to adapt to a new way of life, after all, it is a defense mechanism, yes? If we know human emotion doesn’t allow for us to instinctively hook up without the hurt and the attachment – wouldn’t it also be true that there would be far less hurt and difficulty exploring this new cultural norm if you shut all of it off? (Slight The Vampire Diaries reference there – the girls that get it.)
I do think we should be careful not to use this argument as a means to tear down other relationship structures that may fall into the consensual non-monogamy category. Why? Well,because I believe a hookup relationship stands alone in how it’s structured (by today’s unfortunate circumstances) in that they haven’t been conditioned to receive the care and candor that those in the non-monogamy community have poured into that category of relationships – though it absolutely should be receiving that level of devotion.
Much like the structure of non-monogamy, and despite what much of society thinks, the healthiest way to execute hookup dynamics is through strong, healthy, and ongoing dialogue. As it is innate for us to crave more, I think it is unrealistic and dangerous for there to be one sole discussion around the stipulations of a hookup without any aftercare/check-ins that allow for boundaries to be reset. If we were to treat hookups in a more healthy manner, I don’t know that it would hold the same emotional weight emotionally…mentally.
Nevertheless, I’m no scientist nor do I claim to be. And though promises of the future can seem far off, especially when you turn 23 and realize everything doesn’t magically fall into place by 25 as you once naively thought it might, we must be cognizant of our own emotional capabilities and observant of the shift we experience when making ourselves flexible to new cultural adaptations.
Though we all crave different types of relationships, my hope is that we do all crave the ability to intimately connect when it counts.
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
From '106 & Park' To Prime Time, Rocsi Diaz Is Still That Girl
Rocsi Diaz is no stranger to the camera. From her iconic run on 106 & Park to interviewing Hollywood heavyweights on Entertainment Tonight, she’s been at the center of culture for years. Now, she’s back in the hosting chair alongside none other than Deion “Coach Prime” Sanders for We Got Time Today, a fresh talk show exclusive to Tubi.
The show is exactly what you’d expect when you put a media pro and a sports legend together—a mix of real talk, unfiltered moments, and guest interviews that feel like family kickbacks. As the duo wraps up their first season, Rocsi sat down with xoNecole to talk about teaming up with Deion, the wildest moments on set, and why streaming platforms like Tubi are shaking up the talk show world.
Scoring the Gig & Clicking Instantly with Deion
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Essence
Deion Sanders had been dreaming of hosting a talk show, and when Tubi came calling, it was only right he made it happen. But before he found the perfect co-host, he held auditions with different women for the spot.
Lucky for us, Rocsi threw her hat in the ring, and the connection was instant. “You just can’t buy chemistry like we have,” she tells us. “We are legit like big brother, little sister—fighting, cracking jokes, telling each other off. When you watch the show, it’s like watching family.”
Mixing News, Culture & Sports—Minus the Snooze
With We Got Time Today, Rocsi and Deion cover everything from the latest headlines to celebrity tea and, of course, sports. But instead of stiff, rehearsed segments, the show keeps it loose and unpredictable.
“We’re not breaking the mold—it’s not rocket science,” Rocsi jokes. “We just bring our own flair, our authenticity, and our personalities to it. Deion has firsthand experience in sports, so when we talk about athletes, he brings a different perspective.”
And the best part? Unlike traditional talk shows that rush through quick interviews, We Got Time Today actually takes its time. “A lot of shows might give you one or two segments with a guest,” Rocsi says. “With us, we actually sit down and have real-life conversations.”
Her Top Guests (So Far!)
From music icons to relationship experts, the show has already had some unforgettable guests—but a few stand out for Rocsi.
“Ice Cube was our first guest, and he’s just legendary,” she says. “Kirk Franklin had us cracking up when he broke into a full choir freestyle for our Christmas special. And anytime we get Dr. Bryant on to put Deion in the hot seat? That’s my favorite!”
And of course, there’s Nick Cannon. “Nick was amazing,” she adds. “You already know he’s going to bring the energy and say something wild.”
Tag-Team Hosting with Deion: The Inside Scoop
While Deion Sanders is best known for his football greatness, Rocsi says he’s also one of the funniest people she’s ever worked with.
“He’s goofy—like, really goofy,” she laughs. “A lot of people didn’t know that side of him, but now they do. He can crack a joke, and if you’re too sensitive, good luck, because he will go in. But the best part? I throw it right back at him! Sometimes we just look at each other like, ‘Okay, that was a good one.’”
But beyond the laughs, she admires his insane work ethic. “Watching him juggle everything he does is just super admirable,” she says.
How "We Got Time Today" Brings That "106 & Park" Energy
Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images
For those wondering if We Got Time Today feels like 106 & Park 2.0, Rocsi says it’s a whole different vibe.
“The only comparison I’d make is that it’s a destination for the culture,” she explains. “It’s a platform where our people can come, feel safe, and have real conversations. But other than that, this is Deion’s world—we’re just having fun in it.”
The Talk Show Shake-Up: Why This Show Hits Different
Unlike traditional networks, We Got Time Today lives exclusively on Tubi, proving that streaming platforms are changing how we watch talk shows.
“Tubi is giving more people opportunities and making content more accessible,” Rocsi says. “Deion is a huge Tubi fan—he literally loves Black cinema—so it just made sense for him. And honestly? He’s got me watching it too!”
Real Ones Only: Women Holding Each Other Down
Rocsi credits her best friend, Chantelle, for always keeping her grounded. “She kept pouring into me, reminding me of who I am,” she shares. Even Deion Sanders makes sure to give her flowers, often calling her “the hostess with the most.”
In the industry, she’s built lasting bonds with women like Julissa Bermundez, Angie Martinez, and Angela Yee. “Julissa and I still kick it—her house is basically Sephora, so I just shop there,” she jokes. She also cherishes her friendships with Melyssa Ford and Robin Roberts, who have offered unwavering support. “Robin has always been there for me,” Rocsi says, reflecting on the wisdom she’s gained from the legendary journalist.
With the show’s first season wrapping up, Rocsi is grateful for the experience and excited for what’s next. “We’re having a good time, and the audience can feel that,” she says.
And if you haven’t tuned in yet? Well, Rocsi and Deion got time—so you might as well make some too.
Catch We Got Time Today now streaming on Tubi!
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'Dandy Land' Just Dropped & It’s a Celebration Of Black Style, Swagger, And Statement-Making
The first Monday in May is always a moment, but this year? It’s giving Blackity Black Black Black in the most intentional and celebratory way. On May 5, the MET Gala will unveil its latest exhibition titled Superfine: Tailoring Black Style, which is a tribute to Black dandyism and identity. The exhibition honors the power of clothing within the Black diaspora, spotlighting how style has long served as a tool for Black resistance, reinvention, and radical self-expression.
Centering designers of color and curated by scholar Monica L. Miller, the exhibition draws from her 2009 book Slaves to Fashion: Black Dandyism and the Styling of Black Diasporic Identity and the enduring legacy of Black fashion and self-styling. As she explains, the Black dandy “reimagines the self in a different context” and challenges “who and what counts as human, even.”
- YouTubeyoutu.be
This year marks the Costume Institute’s first menswear-focused show in over 20 years and the first to exclusively highlight designers of color. The co-chairs for the 2025 Gala include Pharrell Williams, A$AP Rocky, Colman Domingo, and Lewis Hamilton, alongside honorary co-chair LeBron James.
To further build anticipation for the Gala, GQ and Voguecollaborated on a stunning fashion portfolio called Dandy Land, styled by image architect Law Roach and shot by Tyler Mitchell. The spread features over 30 Black trailblazers who embody the elegance and edge of Black dandyism.
In the words of Janelle Monáe:
“I consider myself a free-ass motherfucker. And when I’m in my suit, that is exactly how I feel… I feel like I am showing you a new way to think about clothing and to think about values and to think about what you stand for.”
Ayo Edebiri added:
“I’m half Nigerian. There’s nothing more dandy than an African man dressed to the nines, really showing out, going to a party or a wedding.”
Actress Danielle Deadwyler shared:
“Black dandyism is essentially a bucking of systems, a bucking of oppression, and saying we are inherently beautiful.”
And in the words of Dapper Dan, the Godfather of Harlem:
“The way I came into dandyism is through this process of transformation. I’m from the poorest neighborhood in Harlem, right by the banks of the Harlem River. Everybody in my little enclave was all poor. We had rats and roaches. Goodwill was our Macy’s. Whenever I was lucky and fortunate enough to have something to wear, I went to 125th Street. Nobody went there who wasn’t dressed. At 125th Street, nobody knew I had rats, nobody knew I had roaches, and that for me was the birth of dandyism because I saw the power of transformation that could take place with your clothes.”
To see the full Dandy Land editorial and explore the stories behind each image, check out the full spread on GQand get ready for the MET stairs to turn into a Black fashion masterclass next month.
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