Remote Work Burnout Is Real: How To Set Boundaries And Truly Decompress
When working a remote job, it's important to set boundaries with your time. Burnout for remote workers is definitely real. It's easy to get caught up overworking and stressing, which defeats the whole purpose of working a remote job. Working from home (or anywhere in the world) provides the benefits of flexibility, autonomy, and peace of mind, so if you're feeling the total opposite of those things, action must be taken to find balance.
Here are a few tips to ensure you're having the best remote work experience and you're able to truly tap into why you chose to pursue remote work in the first place:
1. Set an alarm for when it's truly time to stop working.
If you're paid to work a certain number of hours, set reminders of when those hours are complete for the day. It's very important that when you do this, you're managing your time working at home well, and getting tasks done in an efficient way. Once that alarm goes off, no more responding to emails or finishing up projects. It's done and gone. Once that alarm goes off, stop what you're doing and take a walk, go out for happy hour drinks, or plan to attend that networking event so you'll feel a bit less isolated working remote.
After being remote working for almost a decade and finding myself still feeling the same Sunday Scaries as I'd felt while working a 9-to-5, this step really helped me to not only set boundaries with myself but with the people I work for. They'd know they wouldn't get any interaction from me after kindly signing off on Slack because I literally would shut down my computer for the day and not open it again until it was time to basically "clock in" the next day.
2. Schedule your "me time" on your calendar as if it's an important meeting.
Self-care appointments are indeed important, so give them the respect they deserve. Block out times in your calendar when you are fully off to do something that affirms how much you care about yourself and your own well-being. It could be something as simple as a morning walk or as grand as a spa date. Put it on your calendar and deliberately take prioritizing balance seriously.
I now have times and dates blocked off where I do not take meetings, and I instead do things that I love. As a remote worker, you can have a conversation with your employer or manager and find ways to make the time you have work not only for them but for you as well.
And no, this is not a "lunch hour" situation. Your lunch hour should be all about satiation and nutrition, not squeezing in appointments. Find ways to set aside time for fun or other wellness activities that are non-negotiable, even if it starts soon after your work day is over.
3. Create a peaceful playlist, set a timer, and meditate.
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These have been a game-changer for me over the years. Whether it's on Spotify, Amazon Music, or YouTube, I often listen to gospel, motivational speeches, ambient noise, prayers, or jazz and zone out during lunch or another short break during my work day. I set a timer to ensure I'm not getting too caught up in the relaxation, and I take in good vibrations. Listen to an audiobook or find some other auditory distraction to get you out of your own head, off of the computer, and into some peace and relaxation.
It's easy to feel isolated and get into an overworking habit when you're working from home (or even from paradise, as I often do---with a beach as my office) because you're able to simply get ish done. If you're like me, once you're in a groove, you can literally sit and crank out ideas, tie up loose ends of a project, answer 100 emails, and still have time to spare to do even more work. Before you know it, that "groove" has turned into a nonstop session of staring into a screen, and you've totally forgotten to breathe, take breaks, or to be sure you're using your time wisely.
These peaceful breaks re-center your mind and offer a reminder that while remote work is a privilege and pleasure, we must be mindful of balance.
4. Be deliberate about making plans with loved ones, acquaintances and friends.
When working remote, it's easy to become a bit of a hermit, especially when you're super-comfy in your loungewear, and your routine is pretty much set. You don't really want to get too comfortable with this because as much as remote work can feel quite lonely, you want to be sure you're not contributing to the loneliness by default.
Invite your friends out for coffee, lunch, or brunch. Start taking the steps to get social, and find other remote workers to connect with via coworking spaces or events. I once found myself feeling super anxious and out of it and realized it was because I was spending too much time working alone and not nurturing relationships with others.
Solitude is a great thing, within reason, and while one might loathe the annoying things that come with office work---like chatty cubicle mates, a manager constantly over your shoulder, or commuting costs---we still need to interact with others for our mental sanity and career advancement. Decompression isn't always done alone, and sometimes we need to vent, find support, or at least be able to talk to others in person, outside of a Slack message or Zoom call.
5. Use the tech tools at your fingertips.
Use that ScreenTime option on your iPhone to track how much time you're spending using your Slack, email, or other remote work-related apps. Download a few good productivity apps that remind you to take breaks, be mindful of your time, and schedule wellness appointments like 24Me or Clockify.
I love to work smart, not hard, since life is already hard enough. If there are ways to use tech to force me into better managing my self-care and time, I'm definitely here for them.
6. Talk to a therapist or coach to figure out how to lean more heavily into self-care.
Sometimes we can have all we need to truly tap into decompression and balance but we might feel overwhelmed with figuring out just what that looks like for us. This is where a good therapist or coach comes in. Even if you choose to only talk with them just to come up with some effective tools for creating balance in your life, it's a win.
These professionals can help remind you why you need balance, pinpoint triggers, and suggest ways you can tailor a plan for your own well-being that works for your unique needs and lifestyle.
For some of us, taking steps to balance out our work-from-home life includes really unpacking how and why we might need to make some adjustments and improvements when it comes to systems and boundaries and pinpointing what truly makes us happy.
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Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert