

If you've moved at any point in your life from one part of your city to another, you know that the experience can be just as stressful as it is rewarding. It's not just a change in living space – it's a new route and schedule for work, the need for a new stylist, nail tech, church, and neighborhood happy place. Now imagine the complexity of moving to a new city for a new job.
If you're thinking of spreading your wings to fly to a new city, take a look at some helpful tips from some boss women who've made the move.
Skyra Thomas, Founder of Flip The Zip/Director of Operations and Support Services
Skyra Thomas, a Brooklyn native relocated to Houston in 2016 and was enticed by the city's weather, climate, lifestyle, entrepreneurship opportunities, and culture for black women. But amidst her moving, she realized there simply were not a lot of resources for black women moving. This prompted her to create Flip The Zip, an online platform that provides resources, empowerment guidance, and support to those in various stages of relocation.
Take Advantage of Your Circle
"Unless you're moving to Timbuktu, it's very likely that someone in your network knows someone where you're going… All that you need is probably in your circle. You just have to be intentional with stating what you need and making that clear and a little more frequent because people forget."
Prior to moving, a fellow colleague at her job at the time recommended her to an older couple in Houston who ultimately helped her transition with housing for six weeks while she job-hunted and solidified a place to stay.
Plan Ahead for Your Move
Skyra began packing and adjusting her lifestyle four months ahead of her actual move. She cut back on cable and moved in with her best friend the last few weeks, and went roughly three months without paying rent, lived off of her last month's rent, and then lived off her security deposit and last month's rent prior to her move. She also got rid of boxes of items she did not need and bedroom furniture. In addition, she had $20,000 saved prior to her move. "I know that moving is such a hassle and I wanted to scale back as much as possible."
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Kamali Burke, Account Director/Communications Strategist
Kamali Burke is an Orlando native, but began her move for work between Miami and New York City in 2013. Her first move was from her job with a lifestyle PR agency in Miami to New York City to run a one-man show at the firm's satellite office. Since then, she has worked with three different companies between the two cities.
Ask About Relocation Benefits
"I would highly recommend if any company is asking you to move, that you're negotiating that as part of your benefits package, like asking them if they'd be willing to offset those costs. Or use it as an opportunity to negotiate an increased salary. More times than not, they have something in their budget or they'd be willing to offer you some other benefits for your transition."
Other benefits can include your work schedule flexibility, vacation, and sick days. "Asking for that as part of your package is also highly recommended so that they're giving you the availability that you need or letting you work from home or letting you feel as if you can take the time that you need to get settled."
There May Not Be Time to Prepare
Remember that time you went out for a job and said you'd be ready to leave your current job as soon as possible for their offer? If there's a job vacancy that impacts a company's operations and that vacancy becomes filled, you better believe their concern is about filling that gap as soon as possible. Kamali found this to be true when she moved from New York to Miami with a short turnaround time.
"They wanted me to start right after the new year in January, and I had already booked a flight home for the holidays for Christmas. But I just decided there's no point in coming back, they want me to start this job so it was days before. I wasn't prepared," said Kamali.
Save, Save, Save!
It's better to be over-prepared than under-prepared. "There's things you take for granted like how much a mover is going to be, packing supplies, finding boxes, if you have to get storage temporarily, flights for you, extra charges for bringing a few more suitcases and things you'd like to ship. I'd definitely recommend saving a couple thousand dollars if you can."
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Maria Hurley, Educator
Maria Hurley made a major coastal move to follow her dream of living a different coastal experience from New York City to sunny California.
Cultural Clashes May Exist
Be prepared for a potential culture shift if it's contrary to where you're coming from. "I found that people talk about race more openly in California than in New York City. People are also much kinder, so it was a shift where if I didn't talk to someone, it came off as rude. But being from New York City, it's what I'm used to."
Be Prepared for Unexpected Air and Travel Costs
If you have a pet, make sure you know how they will get to your destination. "Some airports have specifications on pets and don't allow certain breeds to fly. "
Vehicles can be costly as well. "If you have a car and bring it, make sure you have a plan for getting your vehicle registered, because when that registration goes up in the state you're in and you have to register in that state, then that's an expense you have to be prepared for."
*Some responses have been edited and condensed for clarity.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images