We all have been heartbroken, disappointed, and downtrodden at one point or another in our lives. It's essential to take time to heal the parts of us that need a little TLC and get over the slump. It's also just as important to know when we are past certain moments and set ourselves up to get back on our feet braver and better than before.
As women, we pour so much into everything and everyone but oftentimes that same energy isn't reciprocated. We can often lose ourselves in the development and success of everyone else, and that self-doubt can dim the light on what we have to offer to the world. Taking a step back to recognize how much of a powerhouse you are can really knock the doubt out of us and bring us back to the reality of who we really are and bring out that goddess essence from within. Keep reading for 4 tangible tips on how to regain your personal power:
1.Reprogram Your Mind
We are all too familiar with the saying "what you think is what you get"; well, in this case, whatever you believe of yourself is exactly what your current reality will present itself as. Instead of fearing what could happen or why something turned out in an unexpected manner, change your thought pattern to focusing on what can go right for you and what you've learned in the process.
You are both the narrator and the main character in your life story. Change the narrative from thinking things can't or won't get better, to accepting the current circumstances in your life and putting your time and energy into figuring out what's the next move after this moment.
When you reveal the lesson meant to be taught and look forward to the things next to come, you don't have time to focus on the "why" of things, your focus will be consumed with the "what's to come".
2.Engage in Activity
Keep it pushing, Queen, in the most literal sense. To truly remain the core of who we are, we have to allow ourselves time to do the things that we love. Occupying our time with our favorite things to do like yoga, working out, dancing, catching up on your favorite shows or even doing the dirty deed (sex that is), allows us to not only keep busy but keeps us in the right frame of mind to not lose ourselves in the midst of this thing called life.
By staying active, we hold the power to not let anyone steal those little pieces of joy that keep us feeling alive. It's important to have a moment to ourselves and make room for your "you time".
3.Cleanse Your Circle & Surroundings
If nothing else matters in our lives, we know that the company we keep speaks volumes about everything we stand for. Birds of a feather flock together and in this case, you don't want to be a part of the Bitter Chicks Club. The people you surround yourself with should be nothing short of supportive, like-minded, positive, and motivating at the very least. During the moments when we are at our lowest, we should have people in our corner that are encouraging and understanding of what we may be going through.
You can't expect to level up if you have a circle full of Negative Nancys filling your mind with things that are irrelevant to getting over the slump. Don't be afraid to get rid of people and things that no longer match the frequency and vibe you're trying to experience. They say "no new friends" but, honestly, some of the old ones may have passed their expiration date along time ago. Out with the old and in with the new. Let things go that no longer suit the women you are trying to become.
4.Stay True to Your Standards
It doesn't always have to be a losing battle when it comes to having things your way. Most of us are natural nurturers and want to give the world to those that we love. But as amazing as that is, it can often come with a hefty price tag. There's a thin line between compromise and plain ole neglect. When we choose to ignore the things that are true to us just to make people or situations more comfortable, we lose ourselves in the process.
It's easy to become a shell ourselves when we are willing to give our all to others, but its harder to bounce back to who we were once we have lost our sense of self and become consumed with other people's wants, desires, and needs.
In the long run, it'll be more rewarding when you stand your ground and hold true to what makes you, you. Knowing your limitations, triggers, and all-around no-go factors and sticking to them makes room for you to eliminate the people and things who don't deserve to be in your presence.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
How The Rise Of Perfectionism Is Stunting Your Growth
These People & Places Help Me Find Inspiration When I'm Feeling Stuck
How To Own The Power Of Your Single Season
Tamron Hall Says Her 40s Taught Her The Power Of Saying "F*ck It"
Featured image by Shutterstock.
- The DEEPEST Healing | Cleanse Self Doubt, Fear & Self Sabotage ... ›
- 8 Ways Highly Successful People Overcome Self-Doubt ›
- Cleanse Self Doubt, Fear & Self Sabotage | Reset The Mind ... ›
- How to Release Self-Doubt and Build Sustainable Confidence ... ›
- 13 Powerful Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt (So You Can Finally ... ›
- 5 Steps to Deal with Self-Doubt and Trust Your Self Again ›
Corein Carter is a Los Angeles-based blogger, content creator and podcaster. The New Jersey native has had a love affair with words since she began penning poetry in high school and later went on to study journalism at WSSU. The self-proclaimed "Naturalista" embodies all things spiritual, plant-based, and self-care in both her daily life and through writing. You may recognize Corein's captivating voice and well-rounded perspectives from her fast growing podcast "Play on Words". Follow her journey on Twitter and Instagram @inlivingcolored.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Franco Zulueta
There's something about snuggling up in your favorite blanket and watching a comfort show or movie on Netflix, and what better time to do just that than in December? As the weather outside gets cooler, staying in becomes more of the norm. Thus, Netflix and Chill is a go-to. Luckily, Netflix has released new Black films and series on their popular streaming platform.
From Tyler Perry's historical drama The Six Triple Eight, starring Kerry Washington, to the Will Packer-produced comedy starring Marsai Martin, Regina Hall, and Issa Rae, Little, this season is looking up.
See the full list below.
Little (12/1)
Regina Hall's character is a bossy tech mogul who has everyone scared of her, including her assistant, played by Issa Rae. However, when she transforms into her younger self (Marsai Martin), she learns how to be more kind to others.
Daddy Day Care (12/1)
Eddie Murphy stars in this film as a father who decides to open a daycare after losing his job.
30 For 30 Collection (12/2)
30 For 30 is an ESPN docu-series highlighting some of sports' legendary figures and moments. Some of the episodes include Winning Time: Reggie Miller Vs. The New York Knicks and Celtics/ Lakers: The Best of Enemies.
Jamie Foxx: What Had Happened Was (12/10)
In this special, the multi-talented Jamie Foxx returns to stand-up to give an unforgettable performance.
Blood, Sweat & Heels S2 (12/13)
The short-lived Bravo reality TV series documented the lives of a group of girlfriends making it in NYC. The show starred model-turned-podcaster Melyssa Ford, author Demetria Lucas, and the late TV host Daisy Lewellyn.
The Equalizer S1-3 (12/16)
The hit CBS show starring Queen Latifah is now available on Netflix. Watch the beloved actress kick ass and take names in this popular drama.
The Six Triple Eight (12/20)
The new Tyler Perry film starring Kerry Washington is a true story about the first and only Women’s Army Corps unit of color during World War II.
Christmas Game Day Ravens Vs. Texans (12/25)
While many will tune in to watch the Baltimore Ravens vs. Houston Texans game, others will tune in to watch Beyoncé perform during halftime.
Michelle Buteau: A Buteau-ful Mind At Radio City Music Hall (12/31)
Comedian Michelle Buteau's comedy special will focus on her life with twins, going viral, and much more.
Evil S3 (12/31)
While Evil was unfortunately canceled by CBS, viewers can rewatch the series on Netflix, with season three premiering December 31st.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image screenshot/YouTube