Nowadays, everyone wants to be a boss. From social media influencers to the women side-hustling just to make ends meet, there are so many different definitions of what being a “boss" really means. But when you take a closer look at the most successful, most impactful businesswomen of today, there is one factor that they all have in common: the ability to empower others.
Whether it's through their words, their actions, or their ability to use their platforms in order to help others find hope for a better future, empowering others has played a pivotal role in any boss babe's success story.
Variety recently held its annual Power of Women event in Beverly Hills to honor women who inspire and influence change through their work in their careers and in the community. As one of five honorees at this year's luncheon, Emmy winner Regina King took the time to highlight the idea that there is no such thing as power without the ability to empower others. The 47-year-old told the crowd:
"You can't feel and understand real power unless you feel and understand what it means to empower… Civility, respect, the ability to make a difference in someone's life by supporting or lifting them up, are qualities I don't take lightly."
And for every success story, there are tales of someone else inspiring them to run toward their dreams in pursuit of greatness. The Seven Seconds star says that she wouldn't be where she is today without the tribe around her--including her mother--encouraging her to dream big. She told the audience:
"I wouldn't be standing here right now if I didn't have a mother who encouraged me and my sister to dream beyond the sky."
Regina isn't all talk and no action. The actress currently works with the "I Have A Dream" Foundation - Los Angeles, whose mission is to provide children and youth in underserved communities long-term support and financial resources. This allows them to understand the value of higher education and, in turn, pushes them to reach their full potential.
In a world where it's almost impossible to avoid the constant onslaught of negative news and salacious headlines, empowering news stories are few and far between. However, over the last year, we have seen an insurgence of women sharing their experiences and supporting one another. Women are using their voices and banding together in an "all-inclusive sisterhood" that the world really hasn't seen before. For Regina, this movement is another example of power. She says:
"There is an all-inclusive sisterhood that's happening right now. Women are supporting, loving, and protecting each other outwardly on a grand scale… It's a beautiful thing, and it makes my heart smile. And that is powerful."
In an intimate, behind-the-scenes video of her cover shoot with the magazine, Regina also reminds us that we are individually created to fulfill our own personal destinies. Our paths are intended to be unique, and when we try to compare ourselves to others, we rob ourselves of the chance to be our true, authentic selves.
She told Varietythat we shouldn't try to "outbloom the other flower" and, instead, we should focus on how awesome we already are.
"Don't compare yourself to the person next to you. A flower just blooms, it doesn't try to outbloom the other flower… I think we get so consumed with what someone likes about another, instead of just kind of focusing on, 'You're pretty fantastic in your own skin.' The world needs to see your fantasticness."
When we take the time to evaluate and understand our own personalized skill set, we can then move towards using these skills to improve our own lives. As we hone in on our gifts and talents, we can start the process of empowering others simply by being ourselves. As we become more of what we wish to see in the world, others will inevitably take notice. You never know who is watching and who you might be inspiring, so why not make it really good?
I encourage us all to stop and think: how can we become more encouraging to those around us? How can we use our own "fantasticness" to help uplift and empower others?
To read Regina's feature story with Variety, click here.
Featured image by DFree / Shutterstock.com
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak