You're not exactly sure how it happened, but one day, you looked up and it did:
You lost your sexy and you aren't quite sure how to get it back.
It happens to the best of us, life gets in the way, and before you know it, you need to look up the definition of sexy just to remember what it means.
Luckily, you're not alone.
Women all over the world are wearing multiple hats and when you're juggling a million things at once, there are bound to be some things that fall through the cracks. Losing your sexy usually starts with using any free time you have to either get in some much-needed rest, or finishing up things that need to be done.
However, reclaiming your sexy is a vital part of self-care that goes beyond trying to please and/or entice your significant other.
Reclaiming your sexy is about you and only you. It comes from within, but there are some simple tips you can implement to make the process easier—just in time to shut it down and turn heads for the spring and summer seasons.
Wear What Makes You Feel Sexiest
We all have those select items of clothing that make us feel like the sexiest woman alive and although you may not have worn them in a while, you should reach into your closet and put them back in your wardrobe rotation ASAP. Whether it be bodycon dresses that show every delightful, delectable curve or your favorite pair of jeans that show off all your hard work in the gym paired with a sexy top, give your sexy clothes the shine they deserve.
Embrace Adventure
Sexually, it's easy to fall down the slippery slope of a monotonous bedroom routine. The rut of one or two sexual positions is the sign that you need to switch things up and inject some spice into your sex life. While you should never do anything sexually that makes you uncomfortable, stepping outside your comfort zone and embracing sexual adventure can work wonders for putting your sexy factor in full speed where it belongs. Try new positions, techniques, toys, and anything else that can give you a sexual reboot.
Related: I Took An XOTICY Floor Dancing Class To Get My Sexy Back
Change Your Diet
Changing your diet is so simple, yet many don't realize just how essential it is to your sexual well-being. If you're consuming a diet full of processed, fatty foods and high in sugar, you're likely to feel sluggish, cranky, and unmotivated. Changing your diet is not only great for your health, it can also make you feel energized and more willing to get out of your rut and embrace life—in this case, your sexual life. Additionally, you can also incorporate foods in your diet that promote sexual pleasure as well like dark chocolate, watermelon, oysters, and avocado to name a few.
Related: 4 Foods That Increase Sexual Sexual Pleasure
Pamper Yourself
Women and pampering go hand-in-hand, but when you've found yourself putting your sexy on the shelf, this essential pastime may have been neglected. Getting your hair and nails done, going for a facial or massage, or simply burning your debit card in a fit of retail therapy, are all great ways to pamper yourself and put you first. You'll feel so good once you're done, the sexiness you lost will literally be right in your lap.
Make The Effort
The only way to truly begin your quest to reclaim your sexy is to put forth the effort to make it a priority. Even if you don't feel like it, try to dress up for that dinner party you got invited to, try out that new hairstyle you've been wanting to rock, or give that guy/girl you've been admiring a shot and give the greenlight for a date. Trying is the easiest yet hardest part of getting your sexy back where it belongs.
How do you reclaim your sexy? Let us know in the comments down below.
- Bringing Sexy Back: Reclaiming Your Sexuality | HuffPost ›
- Vibrantly Sexy 2018: The Erotic Creature Retreat - SOLD OUT ›
- 7 Ways To Reclaim 'Sexy” After 50 - After Fifty Living ›
- Can We Reclaim “Sexy” As Christians? | To Love, Honor and Vacuum ›
- 8 Effective Ways to Reclaim Your Sex Life During Depression ›
- Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir Reclaim Olympics Gold With Their Sexy ... ›
- Reclaim Your Body - Amanda Eloesh ›
- How to Bring Sexy Back in Your 30s and 40s - Tips on Life and Love ›
- How To Reclaim Your Sexual Power Through Tantra (No Matter ... ›
RELATED
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
