You know what's a trip? The more intentional I become about setting healthy boundaries, releasing toxic people, tapping into my Black femininity and protecting my inner peace, the more I'm all about pampering myself. I mean, budgeting out money, every single month, to treat my body to some much-needed TLC. Lately, what I've been getting into are facials. Recently, I had my first back facial. It was divine. There is no better word for it. Anyway, as I was getting a "face facial" a couple of weeks ago, my skincare specialist told me that while I don't really need to get a professional facial more than once a season (four times a year), it can never hurt to give myself one at home around every four weeks or so. And so, that is exactly what I am going to start implementing into my DIY beauty regimen.
As for you sis, whether it's because time and money are tight or because you want to learn how to do more at-home pampering and you think that giving yourself a facial would be a good start (and I would agree), here are eight reasons that hopefully will inspire you to check out five videos (here, here, here, here and here) on how to give yourself an at-home facial, so that you will be fully inspired to treat yourself before the week's end.
1. It Deep-Cleanses Your Pores
Last summer, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, "10 All-Natural Ways To Make Your Pores Appear Smaller" because I'm someone who has larger pores on certain parts of my body. A part of it is genetic. Another reason is because I wasn't always the most diligent about deep cleaning them and, when you're not, that can cause oil, dirt and make-up build-up to stretch and enlarge your pores overtime. That's one of the reasons why a facial can be so helpful. It will help to pull all of the "gunk" out of your pores, so that they can stay smaller and you will encounter less breakouts.
Pore Cleansing Facial Recipe: Combine ½ cup of manuka honey (it's an amazing humectant) with three tablespoons of fresh-squeezed orange juice (it's loaded with antioxidants), one tablespoon of sea salt (the perfect exfoliant) and one teaspoon of Aloe vera (it's loaded with healing properties). Mix all of the ingredients together, apply to freshly washed skin and leave on for 10-15 minutes before rinsing with warm and then cool water (as a heads up, this part of the instruction applies to just about every recipe in this piece). The combination of these ingredients will deeply exfoliate your skin while triggering collagen production at the same time.
2. It Treats Acne
If you're someone who is prone to breakouts, this is another reason to consider giving at-home facials a try. Not only do facials help to clear out your pores as I just mentioned, they can get rid of dead skin cells, remove excess oil and also soothe your skin, if there are areas that happen to be inflamed. With all of these things being less of an issue, it's a lot harder for pimples to literally rear their ugly heads.
Acne Facial Recipe: Mix two tablespoons of manuka honey with one teaspoon of turmeric. The properties in the turmeric will reduce inflammation as the antibacterial and antimicrobial properties in the honey will help to get rid of the bacteria that causes breakouts in the first place.
3. It Evens Out Your Skin Tone
Whenever I get a facial, something that I notice, pretty much immediately, is how bright and even my skin looks.
Due to things like UV damage (which can happen to us too), hormonal shifts, acne marks, slow collagen production and/or the overproduction of melanin, our skin can end up having some discoloration here and there. Two things that can remedy this is getting to personally know what your skin type is (more on that later) and yep, you guessed it, having facials.
In this lane, facials are dope because they can smooth and even out your skin tone over time. The key here is to go with a facial recipe that is loaded with antioxidants.
Skin Tone Facial Recipe: Blend the pulp of one papaya with two tablespoons of goat milk. The antioxidants along with the enzyme papain in the papaya will break down dead skin cells while the milk will soften the skin and unevenness. Oh, it should go on record that because papaya can be pretty potent, you'll probably only need to keep this particular mask on your face for no more than 5-7 minutes.
4. It Increases Blood Circulation
You might not have ever thought about getting a facial for the specific purpose of increasing blood circulation to your face, yet it is another benefit that comes with having one. The reality is poor circulation to your face (and neck) can play a significant role in your skin aging faster than it ever should. The way to head this off is to give yourself a facial that contains a form of Vitamin A known as retinoids; they increase blood circulation and even have a reputation for creating new blood vessels over time. Dope.
Blood Circulation Facial Recipe: Combine one egg with two tablespoons of plain whole milk yogurt. Both are loaded with retinoids and, as a bonus, will make your skin feel baby soft smooth.
5. It Slows Down the Signs of Aging
Don't get triggered but I once wrote "Yes, Black CAN Crack. Here's What To Do About It, Tho." for this platform for a reason and a purpose.
While the extra melanin in our skin is indeed a blessing, that doesn't mean that we should take it for granted or not be proactive about making sure that we keep our youthful glow for as long as possible. One way to do that? You already know — give yourself a facial. Another benefit that comes from this kind of beauty treatment is it can help to increase your skin's elasticity, thicken your skin and remove toxins that may be embedded in your pores while improving your skin's texture and super-hydrating your pores in the process.
Anti-Aging Facial Recipe: Put one tablespoon of shea butter, two teaspoons of Aloe vera gel, ¼ of a ripe avocado and ½ ripe apricot in a blender until everything is super smooth. The shea butter's antioxidants have anti-aging properties. The Aloe vera will help to improve your skin's elasticity. Avocados hydrate and also add to your skin's elasticity. Apricots are rich in fatty acids to help make your skin soft and supple.
6. It’s a Skin Hydrator
All of your body needs moisture. Your face is certainly no exception. When it fails to get the adequate amount that it needs, that can lead to dryness, irritation, acne, environmental damage and premature signs of aging. That's why it's important to consume lots of water and to consider giving yourself a facial that specifically treats dry skin from time to time.
Skin Hydration Facial Recipe: Put four ripe strawberries into a blender along with two teaspoons of Greek yogurt and a tablespoon of coconut milk. Strawberries are high in antioxidants. The lactic acid from the yogurt will brighten your skin. The coconut milk is extremely moisturizing.
7. It Teaches You More About Your Skin
The reason why a lot of us don't end up with the flawless glowing skin that we desire is because we don't know enough about our skin type to give it, just what it needs. One thing that can help with this is to take an online quiz (like the one on the Ask the Scientists website that you can check out here). Another is to give yourself a facial to see which one your skin responds to best. If you want to "ease into" giving yourself one, vegetable glycerin and Vitamin E are two ingredients that are great for sensitive skin.
Beginner's Facial Recipe: Add three Vitamin E capsules to one tablespoon of vegetable glycerin. Glycerin adds lots of moisture while Vitamin offers anti-inflammatory and healing properties.
8. It Reduces Your Stress Levels
If you really want to take your DIY facial up a notch, devote 5-10 minutes massaging your face first. Make sure your hands and face are clean and then use your fingertips to create small circles all over your face and neck. Not only will it help to increase blood circulation, it is extremely relaxing too. Then, once you're done, give yourself a stress-releasing facial. Not only will it help to activate your sympathetic nervous system, it will also reduce your anxiety levels and uplift your spirits. Definitely a win when it comes to DIY skincare.
Stress-Reducing Facial Recipe: Mix two tablespoons of sweet almond oil (improves complexion, fights breakouts), with a teaspoon of honey and four drops of lavender (it's soothing to the skin as it gets rid of bacteria and calms your spirits at the same time). It's the perfect skin treatment at night before turning in, so that you can wake up with beautiful skin. Enjoy!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
For Us, By Us: How HBCU Alumni Are Building Legacies Through Entrepreneurship
Homecoming season is here, and alumni are returning to the yard to celebrate with their friends and family at the historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs) that have changed their lives forever.
No matter where their life journeys have taken them, for HBCU students from near and far, returning to where it all started can invoke feelings of nostalgia, appreciation for the past, and inspiration for the future.
The seeds for these entrepreneurs were planted during their time as students at schools like Spelman, North Carolina A&T, and more, which is why xoNecole caught up with Look Good Live Well’s Ariane Turner, HBCU Buzz’s Luke Lawal and Morehouse Senior Director of Marketing and Comms and Press Secretary Jasmine Gurley to highlight the role their HBCU roots play in their work as entrepreneurs, the legacy they aim to leave behind through the work that they do, and more as a part of Hyundai’s Best In Class initiative.
On Honoring HBCU Roots To Create Something That Is For Us, By Us
Ariane Turner
Courtesy
When Ariane Turner launched Look Good, Live Well, she created it with Black and brown people in mind, especially those with sensitive skin more prone to dryness and skin conditions like acne and eczema.
The Florida A&M University graduate launched her business to create something that addressed topical skin care needs and was intentional about its approach without negative terminology.
Turner shared that it is important to steer clear of language often adopted by more prominent brands, such as “banishing breakouts” or “correcting the skin,” because, in reality, Turner says there is nothing wrong with the way that our skin and bodies react to various life changes.
“I think what I have taken with me regarding my HBCU experience and translated to my entrepreneurial experience is the importance of not just networking,” Turner, the founder and CEO of Look Good, Live Well, tellls xoNecole.
“We hear that in business all the time, your network is your net worth, but family, there’s a thing at FAMU that we call FAMU-lee instead of family, and it’s very much a thing. What that taught me is the importance of not just making relationships and not just making that connection, but truly working on deepening them, and so being intentional about connecting with people initially, but staying connected and building and deepening those relationships, and that has served me tremendously in business, whether it’s being able to reach back to other classmates who I went to school with, or just networking in general.”
She adds, “I don’t come from a business background. As soon as I finished school, I continued with my entrepreneurial journey, and so there’s a lot of that traditional business act and the networking, those soft skills that I just don’t have, but I will say that just understanding how to leverage and network community and to build intentional relationships is something that has taken me far and I definitely got those roots while attending FAMU.”
On Solving A Very Specific Need For The Community
Luke Lawal Jr.
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When Luke Lawal Jr. launched HBCU Buzz, his main focus was to represent his community, using the platform to lift as they climbed by creating an outlet dedicated to celebrating the achievements and positive news affecting the 107 historically HBCUs nationwide.
By spotlighting the wonderful things that come from the HBCU community and coupling it with what he learned during his time at Bowie State University, Lawal used that knowledge to propel himself as an entrepreneur while also providing his people with accurate representation across the internet.
“The specific problem in 2011 when I started HBCU Buzz was more so around the fact that mainstream media always depict HBCUs as negative,” Lawal says. “You would only see HBCUs in the mainstream media when someone died, or the university president or someone was stepping down. It was always bad news, but they never shed light on all the wonderful things from our community."
So, I started HBCU Buzz to ensure the world saw the good things that come from our space. And they knew that HBCUs grew some of the brightest people in the world, and just trying to figure out ways to make sure our platform was a pedestal for all the students that come through our institutions.”
“The biggest goal is to continue to solve problems, continue to create brands that solve the problems of our communities, and make sure that our products, our brands, our companies, and institutions are of value and they’re helping our community,” he continues. “That they’re solving problems that propel our space forward.”
On How Being An HBCU Alum Impacts The Way One Shows Up In The World
Jasmine Gurley
Courtesy
Jasmine Gurley is a proud North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University alum. She is even more delighted with her current role, which enables her to give back to current HBCU students as the Senior Director of Brand Marketing and Communications and official press secretary at Morehouse College.
“It was a formative experience where I really was able to come into my own and say yes to all the opportunities that were presented to me, and because of that, it’s been able to open the doors later in life too,” says Gurley of her experience at North Carolina A&T. “One thing I love about many HBCUs is that we are required to learn way more about African American history than you do in your typical K through 12 or even at the higher ed level."
She adds, “It allowed us to have a better understanding of where we came from, and so for me, because I’m a storyteller, I’m a history person, I’m very sensitive to life in general, being able to listen to the stories and the trials that our ancestors overcame, put the battery pack in my back to say, ‘Oh nothing can stop me. Absolutely nothing can stop me. I know where I came from, so I can overcome something and try anything. And I have an obligation to be my ancestors’ wildest dreams. Simultaneously, I also have a responsibility to help others realize that greatness.
Gurley does not take her position at an HBCU, now as a leader, lightly.
“People think I’m joking when I say I’m living the dream, but I really am,” she notes. “So I wake up every day and know that the work that I do matters, no matter how hard it might be, how frustrating it may be, and challenging it. I know the ripple effect of my work, my team, and what this institution does also matter. The trajectory of Black male experiences, community, history, and then just American advancement just in general.”
On the other hand, through her business, Sankofa Public Relations, Gurley is also on a mission to uplift brands in their quest to help their respective communities. Since its inception in 2017, Sankofa PR has been on a mission to “reach back and reclaim local, national, and global communities by helping those actively working to move” various areas of the world, focusing on pushing things forward for the better.
“Through Sankofa, we’ve worked with all different types of organizational brands and individuals in several different industries, but I would think of them as mission-based,” says Gurley.
“So with that, it’s an opportunity to help people who are trying to do good in the world, and they are passionate about what they’re doing. They just need help with marketing issues, storytelling, and branding, and that’s when my expertise can come into play. Help them get to that moment where they can tell their story through me or another platform, and that’s been super fulfilling.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
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An Intimacy Coordinator Gives The Tea On Our Favorite Love Scenes (& How To Can Recreate Them)
Have you ever watched a movie or TV show with a spicy or romantic love scene that you couldn’t help but replay a few times? Don’t worry; I’m not judging you. That’s part of the movie magic—those moments are literally choreographed to make viewers feel connected. If you don’t believe me, just ask Zuri Pryor-Graves, an intimacy coordinator who helps make romantic scenes come to life while making sure everyone on set feels comfortable and respected.
Zuri’s work spans networks like HBO Max, BET, Starz, Apple TV, Hulu, Prime, Netflix, and more. In this exclusive interview with xoNecole, she gives us insight into her career, shares some surprising details about our favorite love scenes, and offers a few tips to elevate our own intimate experiences. Check it out below!
xoNecole: As I understand, the role of an intimacy coordinator is relatively new. Could you tell me about what it entails and what drew you to this line of work?
Zuri Pryor-Graves: Absolutely. Well, yes, it’s fairly new. We’ve been around since 2017 or 2018 after the Me Too Movement. And in my opinion, I feel like we’re an added layer of physical, psychological and emotional safety for everyone involved in creating these scenes. Because some scenes can be very hypersensitive from the mental health side of things, it’s not just about nudity or simulated sex. We’re liaisons from actors to production, but we’re also choreographers. We get to be in a unique space where we are a part of the creative and business side of the production.
xoN: Now I want to talk a little bit about consent. When working on scenes like you mentioned, how do you go about making sure everyone is comfortable?
Zuri: As a therapist, I can get very clinical. But I don’t want things to feel static or sterile. Because entertainment and TV is a creative process. It’s important to note that no actual sex is had. But for consent-based practices, I’ve seen intimacy coordinators come in and try to sit everyone down for a formal discussion, and I can do that when it’s needed. But I really try to lean on my actors and figure out what they need and how they move. If they already have a relationship, I might be the new person stepping in.
So instead of dictating how things should go, I focus on offering a different language or modeling that language. It’s not about talking to them like they’re in kindergarten, but more about saying, ‘In this situation, here's what I would need—what do you all need?’ It’s about normalizing and standardizing that language and behavior, especially when working with actors who have been doing this longer than I’ve been alive.
It’s not about talking to them like they’re in kindergarten, but more about saying, ‘In this situation, here's what I would need—what do you all need?’ It’s about normalizing and standardizing that language and behavior, especially when working with actors who have been doing this longer than I’ve been alive.
xoN: Got it. So I have to ask, what do you think gives a love scene that IT factor?
Zuri: An IT factor love scene comes from people willing to have really honest, vulnerable conversations about what they’re comfortable with, and from those who are intuitive enough to pick up on boundaries and respect them. Without that, you can see the discomfort on screen—and we, behind the camera, see it too. We’re sitting there like, 'Okay, cut.'
Actors often accept roles thinking it will be more comfortable than it is, or hoping for some magical ease, but the truth is, it’s going to be uncomfortable. The key is accepting that and figuring out how to move through it together. My ideal is when people are upfront and honest about their boundaries and what they need, and when they’re given the time to rehearse and prepare properly. But often, we discuss things, and next thing you know, we’re on set—without proper rehearsal, which is far from ideal, but happens.
xoN: So, honesty, vulnerability, and boundaries – sounds like that would create magic in real life too. Well, speaking of ‘IT” factor love scenes, our team put together a list of some of our favorites. Would you mind talking through a few of the background components and what made them stand out?
Zuri:Sure, let’s do it!
xoN: Let’s start with Love and Basketball’s scene where Monica experiences her first time with Quincy.
Zuri:So I’ve watched the Love and Basketball scene a lot—both as a kid and in my work now. I’ve even been asked to remake versions of that scene for other projects, but they haven’t always been as successful. But I think we love it because of their character development—we fell in love with those characters.
For any scene like that, it’s important to remember there’s no actual sex happening. So, part of my job is figuring out the modesty measures and what’s being placed between the actors' bodies. Since Love and Basketball was filmed years ago, I’d be curious to know what techniques they used – but something was between them. Another scene that comes to mind is from Jason’s Lyric. If you look closely, you can actually see the modesty wear in some shots—a tape or strapless thong, for example.
I love scenes that can be extremely sexy without being overly explicit. For instance, in Love and Basketball, we see his butt briefly, but there’s no full nudity. They had clear boundaries around that, which I think is great.
So I’ve watched the Love and Basketball scene a lot—both as a kid and in my work now. I’ve even been asked to remake versions of that scene for other projects, but they haven’t always been as successful. But I think we love it because of their character development—we fell in love with those characters.
xoN: Speaking of nudity, the next one on our list is Insecure. Specifically, we are referring to Issa and Daniel’s infidelity scene. When this show aired, I remember discussing how the men in the series often show more nudity than the women, which is usually the opposite in film. It’s interesting to see that dynamic play out. Can you talk a bit about that?
Zuri:In terms of nudity, every scene comes with individual contracts. When negotiating a simulated sex scene or one involving nudity, we create specific contracts known as nudity riders or simulated sex riders. These are provided to the actors 48 hours before the scene and outline every detail, specifying what will be shown—like whether we can see a left nipple, side breast, etc.
Many actors come to a production with overarching nudity-related clauses in their contracts, detailing what they can or cannot do, regardless of having seen the script. My guess is that on Insecure, all the women had a no-nudity clause in their contracts.
When shows don’t feature much nudity but want to suggest it, they often use a day player—an actor brought in just for that scene—who may appear naked while the main cast maintains their no nudity clauses.
xoN: Finally, the current show we landed on is Reasonable Doubt. I know you worked on that one! It’s a fan favorite right now, and the chemistry between all of the actors is so hot. What was it like working on that set, and what do you think took those love scenes to the next level?
Zuri: Reasonable Doubt was a really amazing project for me to work on as a mental health professional because all of the intimacy was so layered. Peeling back the relationships between these dynamic characters who were experiencing infidelity, domestic assault and violence, financial wellness, and so much more was a lot. Because all of these things factor into how people interact with each other in intimate settings.
One of the scenes I really liked is the scene with Chanel and Von in the hotel room. That is one of my favorite scenes, and it's because of how generous those actors were with one another and me in their creative process. They made the scene goal-oriented in a different way. For example, Chanel really wanted to show that she felt free in this moment - so it was a question of how do we bring that to life in intimacy.
xoN: Finally, I’ll close with this question: what are some elements that bring these creative scenes to life that we can actually take home to elevate our own sexual experiences?
Zuri: Knowing yourself and communication. You can’t communicate with someone else unless you know yourself. So when I’m having these conversations with actors, it always starts with 1:1 convo. I ask about boundaries, what makes them feel like they’d create their best work and comfortability. I think that’s for anyone. Intimacy starts with you before you share it with anyone.
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