Wanna know why I am so fascinated with the clitoris? It's because I am also very fascinated with sex; especially marital sex (because I am a marriage life coach). And so, every time the topic of a clitoris comes up, it's weird but I get excited! Why? Because plenty of research points to the fact that there's not one purpose or reason why the clit exists other than for a woman's sexual pleasure.
So, you know what that means, right? It means that God intended for women to enjoy sex, just as much as men. Full stop. And, if we're going to explore all of the beauty that is the clitoris, a part of what has to be discussed is something that I bet you give every little thought to—your clitoral hood. Girrrl….girl. That little bit of skin is something that I am hoping you will come to love and cherish with all of your heart after you read the seven reasons why it's a small thing that has a significant purpose.
1. Your Clitoral Hood Is the Foreskin That Protects Your Clitoris
Let's go back to science class for just a moment. Did you know that all sex organs actually develop from the same embryonic cells and that they are also connect each human's nervous system in similar ways?
This is why some people say that every baby starts out with a clitoris, although some eventually end up with a penis. To a certain extent, that would be correct because the clitoris (also known as the aforementioned glans) has a similar function to the penis (which is also known as a glans) on the sexual tip. They both get bigger and harder when they are sexually aroused. They both return to their "normal" size after an orgasm.
And, when a man hasn't been circumcised (by the way, uncircumcised men reportedly have more sexual sensitivity and women who have sex with them reportedly experience more sexual pleasure too), he has something called foreskin; it's a flexible piece of skin that covers the tip of a man's penis and covers up the external opening of his urethra (the tube where his urine and semen comes out).
Yeah, well. While I've never personally been with an uncircumcised man myself, I will say I find it hilarious—and a bit hypocritical—whenever women try to act all grossed out at the thought of being with someone who hasn't been "cut". I mean, how would you feel if a man said the same thing about you because, guess what a clitoral hood is? It's the foreskin that covers up your clitoris (BAM!). And it helps to protect you too. Only, in a bit of a different kind of way.
2. Your Clitoral Hood Keeps Your Clitoris from Annoying You All Day Long
If you want to know some pretty interesting facts about your clitoris, check out "10 Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Your Clitoris". As far as your clitoral hood is specifically concerned, one reason to be especially thankful for it is because, while your clitoris is attached to—count 'em—15,000 nerve endings, the outer part of your clit contains 8,000 nerve fibers alone. Just think about if your clitoris was constantly exposed all day long, rubbing against your panties 'n stuff. Nerves are really sensitive, so while you might think it would be like having a non-stop orgasm (a woman from Atlanta went through that and she wasn't exactly thrilled), actually, it could get to be pretty painful. This is where your clitoral hood comes in. Not only does it protect your clitoris from being over-stimulated and receiving uncomfortable friction, it also protects it from debris and other things that could possibly irritate it.
3. Your Clitoral Hood Helps You to Have a Clitoral Orgasm
The placement of your clitoris plays a huge role in if you are able to experience a vaginal orgasm (an orgasm that comes from penetration) or not. But, thanks to your clitoris, you can definitely have a clitoral orgasm; so long as your clitoris is stimulated to the point of you climaxing, you're all set. And just what is the difference, sensation-wise, between a vaginal and clitoral orgasm? While a vaginal orgasm is usually more intense and can be felt deeper within the body, a clitoral orgasm is more of a surface one that gives you a tingly sensation on the surface of your skin. Something that's pretty cool about clitoral orgasms is they can cause you to have anywhere between 3-16 contractions, plus they can last anywhere from 10-30 seconds.
The reason why your clitoral hood can actually help you to have a clitoral orgasm is, when your clitoris is stimulated, the extra skin that covers it moves up down; that can help to arouse your clitoris quicker and more intensely. How awesome is that?
5. Your Clitoral Hood Is the “Source” of Multiple Orgasms
Another thing that is dope about your clitoral hood is it can be the key to experiencing multiple orgasms. How? Because it serves as a bit of a buffer. Remember how I said that the hood is foreskin for your clitoris? Well, a lot of women have trouble having multiple orgasms, simply because the first orgasm was so powerful that their clitoris feels too sensitive to be immediately touched.
But, thanks to your clitoral hood, if, after having your first orgasm, you deep breathe for about 30 seconds and then get on top of your partner for another round, it's very possible that you'll receive just enough stimulation to have another orgasm without your clitoris feeling uncomfortable—due to being over-stimulated—in the process. (Well, what do ya know?)
6. Each Clitoral Hood Is Quite Unique. And Beautiful.
OK, sooo…I'm thinking that you already know how to locate your clitoral hood, right? Just to be on the safe side, if you opened up your legs and looked at your vulva (the outer part of your vagina) in the mirror, the pea-sized "hump" of flesh that is at the top of your "slit" is your clitoris. The skin that covers it is your clitoral hood. And, just like every woman is unique, so is every vulva, clitoris and yes, clitoral hood. And you know what? Every single one is beautiful. I mean, when you stop and think about the fact that your clitoris and clitoral hood ONLY exist to bring you sexual pleasure (well, the hood also exists so that you're not overly-stimulated into a painful experience as well), how can you not find them to be alluring, appealing, delightful, fascinating and magnificent—no matter what shape, size or color they are?
7. All This…and Still, Your Clitoral Hood Is Pretty Low-Maintenance
The fact that a lot of you have probably never even considered your clitoral hood prior to reading this shows just how low-maintenance it actually is. I will say that there are some women who have had pubic hair, lint or even dried-up discharge caught in their clitoral hood that has led to irritation. That's why, as a preventative measure, it can be a good idea to take a Q-Tip, dip it in some olive oil, gently pull your hood back (not all the way, just a little) and swab around your clitoral hood once a month or so in order to dislodge anything that may be up in there. But other than that, there's not much that you need to do in order to keep yours happy and healthy.
Bonus: What Do Some People Like About Clitoral Hood Piercings?
And just how many women have clitoral hood piercings? From what I've read, it's two percent (that's actually kinda high). As far as the scientific/medical side of things, while they claim that vertical clit hood piercings won't do much for you as it relates to increasing your chances of having an orgasm or intensifying your pleasure, what the piercings are able to do is increase your level of sexual desire and quite possibly add to how often you are able to get aroused.
Now that's what the professionals say. I personally know some women who have a vertical clit hood piercing and they all say that it has taken their sexual climaxes to a whole 'nother level, chile. Still, if it's something that you've been considering doing (or you're thinking about doing now), make sure you know exactly what you are getting yourself into. You can check out some videos featuring some sistahs talking about their personal experience here and here. If you want to watch the actual procedure (which is totally NSFW), go here. Piercing or not, when you get home tonight, do a toast to your clitoral hood. I'm not quite sure where any of our sex lives would be without it—and that's real.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert