In xoNecole's Our First Year series, we take an in-depth look at love and relationships between couples with an emphasis on what their first year of marriage was like.
When it comes to finding your life partner, the best time to find love is when you least expect it. You can either question how the universe has brought you two together or take it and run with it. For married couple Ray and Roslyn Singleton, they have been running with it since the day they met. The two fell in love with each other at first sight while attending a local all-black party.
Conversation and food after would ensue and tell the pair all they needed to know about each other and all of it began and ended with love. "Ros was so different from any girl I have ever met before in my life. She was gorgeous, she had a short haircut, tatted up, and it was just something about her," Ray recalled for xoNecole. "After talking with her and realizing getting to know her would be more of a challenge, I just fell in love with her. There is nothing more beyond that."
Even with a seven-year age difference, Ray and Roslyn vibed so well with each other, that there was no denying it. "The day after we met, I blocked everyone else I was talking to. I was good. I have only known him for eight hours, but I'm good. This is it," Roslyn recalled. Who knew that one evening at a local party would just so happen to be the right place at the right time for the both of them? Together, they have been figuring out this thing called life ever since.
For this installment of xoNecole's Our First Year, learn more about Ray and Roslyn Singleton, a couple who have worked together towards a successful marriage by going with the flow and letting love lead the way.
The One
Roslyn: We met in November 2016 and Ray proposed May 6th the following year. But I knew immediately that I wanted to marry Ray. The day after we met, I blocked everyone else I was talking to. I was good. I have only known him for eight hours, but I'm good. This is it. I'm not going to say that we haven't had our bumps in the road like every couple does, but we found our way to get through. Ray was different. He was the youngest man I have ever considered dating, let alone marry. Having that transition to dating someone that's seven years younger, I learned he was such an old soul. He loved God, his family, and I could tell he cared about me from day one. I also like to say sarcastic jokes and he throws them back at me. So the comedy between us makes me love him even more.
Ray: From the very beginning, we just clicked. I moved into her apartment four days after we met. But I think ultimately it was the amount of time we could laugh together. Whatever the time of day it was, it didn't matter because it was just her and I. I think that's how we clicked so fast. We feel like we have been together 15 or more years. She was that other part of my soul that I was able to find.
"I knew immediately that I wanted to marry Ray. The day after we met, I blocked everyone else I was talking to. I was good. I have only known him for eight hours, but I'm good. This is it. I'm not going to say that we haven't had our bumps in the road like every couple does, but we found our way to get through. Ray was different."
Tying The Knot
Roslyn: One thing I remember about our wedding day is, when I turned the corner at the venue and I first saw Ray, he looked so good. He was crying and that was just a key moment for me. I also remember the very end of the wedding. It was nothing extravagant. We both got into Ray's car, we packed up all the food, went back to our hotel, and had burgers and chicken wings for our wedding night. It was literally the best, most chill thing ever.
Ray: I remember 15 minutes before the ceremony was about to start, it was pouring down raining. It was hot and chaotic. My dad pulled me to the side and asked if I was ready. I said, "Yep." And when I saw her, I knew. It was one of the greatest things in my life.
Deepest Fears
Ray: My biggest fear walking into marriage was having the concern of what does the rest of my life look like. I understand how serious marriage is and the idea of marriage. It was just the fear of the unknown. It was never about if I was going to be in love with her for the rest of my life, that was unquestionable. But the more time I spent with her and thought about her, I knew our connection wasn't something that I could break. Staying in the moment allowed me to let go of that fear.
Roslyn: I would say my biggest fear was trying to live up to something instead of making marriage my own. I come from an upbringing where my parents had been married for 30+ years. I always had this image of what marriage looked like from my parents. So for me, I never wanted to fail him as a wife or fail as the example of what marriage should be. From what they showed me, I try to give that to Ray. What I learned to get through that is to communicate better to Ray and tell him how much I appreciate him a lot.
"My biggest fear walking into marriage was having the concern of what does the rest of my life look like. I understand how serious marriage is and the idea of marriage. It was just the fear of the unknown. It was never about if I was going to be in love with her for the rest of my life, that was unquestionable."
Early Challenges
Ray: Communication. We didn't know how to talk to each other. We didn't know how to talk about problems, our feelings, or how if someone said something how the other person received it. Honestly, there would be times where we were not foolin' with each other. One thing I had to unlearn is not communicating my expectations to her. I had this idea of what a husband and wife should be and assumed everyone thought the same way I did. But it was nothing but the love we had for each other that kept us coming back. So even though we are light years from where we started, communication is something we are still working on till this day.
Roslyn: You know when you have that conversation and you're like, "GIRL, LISTEN." I have been there. Luckily, I have those friends that talked me off the ledge and encouraged me to just have a conversation with him. Ray is an amazing person and he brought his life experiences into the relationship just like I did. So I had to unlearn not to nitpick at those differences to Ray. I had to be aware of when I may do those things and apologize. I never want to be someone that points out his flaws because I genuinely want to be supportive to him.
Love Lessons
Ray: I can love harder than I thought I could. Before Ros, I was independent and knew how to focus on myself. Now I know that it's possible that you could love so much when being involved with someone else. As a guy, you hear about it. But you're not really thinking about it because you're living your life.
Roslyn: The most important lesson for me is being appreciative of the love I've received from Ray. Even when I had brain surgery, it made me more appreciative because I know women who have had a similar situation as me and their husbands left them. It really blows my mind because my mother had a ton of health issues and my dad was right there for her. So when my health stuff came around, I didn't second-guess what Ray's role was in my life, because that was what I knew. But now understanding that that type of support is not what a lot of people get.
"I can love harder than I thought I could. Before Ros, I was independent and knew how to focus on myself. Now I know that it's possible that you could love so much when being involved with someone else."
Marriage Counsel
Roslyn: I have my sister/best friend and I talk to her because she was married for over 10 years. I know she will give me an unbiased opinion about marriage that is in the best interest of Ray and I. I know she can give me that marriage perspective and understand things better that I may be missing. I also have my other best friend who is single. She is a more philosophical thinker. So she expounds and looks at every possible angle to give me great advice. Both of them are very transparent and they remind me that marrying Ray is what I wanted to do. So I have to figure it out.
Ray: None of my friends are qualified to give me advice (laughs). I talk to my pastor and God a lot. It is a lot of introspective work that I do for understanding. I truly do self-reflection and try to put myself in her shoes when we are dealing with an issue. When I do talk to my friends, they talk me off the ledge too. But for advice, it's mainly my pastor.
The Best Advice
Ray: Listen to advice from others, but you have to live with her every day. You can take advice from all these gurus and stuff. But at the end of the day, you have to live with her. So figure it out. Also work together as a team. Fellas, use the word "we" and understand that you two are a unit.
Roslyn: The best advice I've gotten was from my dad. He told me that problems are going to happen. There is nothing you can do about it, you just have to talk about it. It is important to remember that everyone is their own individual person and on the road, you have to learn to love the parts of a person that you don't understand. Even on days that you may not not like that person, in the long run, you are going to love everything about that person. It's worth it.
For more of Ray and Roslyn, follow them on Instagram @willie_qool and @iamrosroyal. Also check out their new clothing line that commemorates their marriage here.
Featured image via Ray Singleton/Instagram
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'K' is a multi-hyphenated free spirit from Chicago. She is a lover of stories and the people who tell them. As a writer, 9-5er, and Safe Space Curator, she values creating the life she wants and enjoying the journey along the way. You can follow her on Instagram @theletter__k_.
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
The Kamala Effect: Top Black Women In Politics To Watch Now, Into 2025
With a landmark Election Day coming up soon, everyone will be watching to see whether Vice President Kamala Harris makes history by becoming the first Black woman to become president of the United States. And as she has gathered monumental support from Black women around the world (including the more than 44,000 who raised millions in minutes shortly after she announced she’d be running), other Black women politicians also stand to make history in their respective elections, running to serve local and statewide communities.
Just as there have been barriers to Black women serving as CEOs of Fortune 500 companies (with only four having been appointed to those roles), there’s a massive glass ceiling for Black women in politics as well. Only 0.4% of all members of Congress identified as Black, and only 13.4% of all women who have served in Congress to date have identified as Black, according to research.
To date, no Black woman has served as governor of a state (though there has been a Black woman lieutenant governor, which we’ll get to later.)
Glass Ceiling In Politics For Black Women
Black women face the ever-so-usual gender bias and racism when running for office, but they also have to deal with another major deterrent to launching a viable campaign: funding. According to the Washington Post, while campaign fundraising “overall” saw a boost for women in 2020 compared with 2018, “Black women across party lines raised significantly less money than White women.”
The publication further reported that in 2020, data reflected “that the 113 active Black women candidates running on all tickets raised nearly $81 million in the first three quarters compared to the nearly $811 million pulled in by their 379 active White women counterparts across party lines, according to data provided by the Center for Responsive Politics. More than $1.5 billion was raised by over 1,000 White men from all parties in the same timeframe.”
Paying staff, covering marketing and ads, travel expenses, and more are all vital and very costly, expanding one’s reach, impact, and exposure to land the votes. This is one major reason that, when Black women finally make it to the finish line with enough support to get a serious spot on the ballot, it’s more than a big deal.
So, here are a few Black women in politics who have made history, continue to push barriers, and powerhouses to watch as we near Election Day on November 5:
Angela Alsobrooks
Andrew Harnik/Getty Images
A Maryland native, Angela Alsobrooks graduated from Duke University and the University of Maryland School of Law. She worked as a law clerk in the Howard County Circuit Court and the Baltimore City Circuit Court before taking on the role of Assistant State’s Attorney in Prince George’s County, a role in which she made history as the youngest and first woman in the role. She’s now running for the state senator seat in Maryland, which, if she wins, would make her the fourth Black woman in history to serve in the Senate.
Winsome Earle-Sears
Winsome Earle-Sears is a native of Kingston, Jamaica, who served in the United States Marine Corps. Before becoming the first woman to be elected lieutenant governor of Virginia and the first Black woman elected to statewide office, she served as the vice president of the Virginia State Board of Education and a presidential appointee to the U.S. Census Bureau, co-chair of the African American Committee and the Advisory Committee on Women Veterans to the Secretary of Veterans Affairs. She earned a bachelor’s degree in economics from Old Dominion University and a master’s degree in organizational leadership with a concentration in government from Regent University.
She has filed to run for governor of the state in 2025 and, if successful, would become the first and only woman (as well as Black woman) in the U.S. and its territories.
Lisa Blunt Rochester
Lisa Blunt Rochester represents Delaware in the U.S. House of Representatives and serves as an Assistant Whip for House Leadership. She also serves on the House Committee on Energy and Commerce. Raised in Wilmington, Delaware, she graduated from Fairleigh Dickinson University with a degree in international relations and later earned a master’s degree in urban affairs and public policy from the University of Delaware.
She’s also running for the state senate seat in Delaware and would make history if elected. If she and Albrook are both successful, that will be a first as well, as it would be the first time two Black women are serving in the U.S. Senate at the same time.
Carol Moseley Braun
A native of Chicago (who now lives in the Hyde Park neighborhood the Obamas also call home), Carol Moseley Braun became the first woman senator from Illinois and the first Black woman to serve in the Senate when she won in 1992 (and was the only Black woman to serve in the six years she held her seat.) She later served as U.S. ambassador to New Zealand, a visiting professor at Northwestern University, launched a food company, and now serves as chairman of the United States African Development Foundation. She graduated from the University of Illinois at Chicago and the University of Chicago Law School.
Lauren Underwood
Samuel Corum/Getty Images
Born in Ohio but raised in Illinois, Lauren Underwood was sworn into Congress in 2019, becoming the first woman, the first person of color, and the youngest (as a millennial!) elected to represent the state. A registered nurse by trade, she’s the co-founder and co-chair of the Black Maternal Health Caucus and the co-chair of the House Democratic Policy and Communications Committee. She also serves on the House Committee on Appropriations. Before that, she served as a senior adviser at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). She is a graduate of the University of Michigan and Johns Hopkins University.
Ayanna Pressley
Representing Massachusetts, Ayanna Pressley was the first Black woman to be elected to Congress from the state. Before that, she served as a member of the Boston City Council, becoming the first woman of color to serve in that capacity. In that role, she formed the Committee on Healthy Women, Families, and Communities, addressing issues including domestic violence and human trafficking. She empowered many, going viral and making headlines in 2020 when she revealed she has alopecia and unapologetically took off her wig to rock a bald head, shifting the narrative on Black women, code-switching, and appearance in political arenas and beyond.
Jennifer McClellan
Jennifer McClellan was sworn into the U.S. House last year, becoming the first Black woman to represent Virginia in Congress. A Virginia native, she earned a bachelor’s degree from the University of Richmond and her Juris Doctorate from the University of Virginia School of Law. She was previously elected to the Virginia House of Delegates in 2005 and served in that post until she was elected to the Virginia State Senate in 2017.
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