You can't judge a book by its cover, and apparently, you can't judge a relationship based on its flaws.
I recently watched a supercut of Rasheeda and her husband Kirk Frost's relationship during their time on Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta and, whew child. The drama. After a few consecutive seasons of consistent infidelity and blatant disrespect, even fathering a child outside of his marriage, the internet had just about had it with Kirk Frost; that was until recently, a bomb dropped that no one was expecting.
What was supposed to be a peaceful cabin retreat turned into a tell-all therapy session where some of the reality stars kept it 100 about the skeletons in their closet. One of the first to spill the tea was Rasheeda, who revealed that cheating had gone both ways in their relationship. Rasheeda explained:
"Nobody is perfect and relationships have issues, but y'all also gotta understand forgiveness, too. That's what I have learned to understand because we've had to forgive each other for sh-t. I ain't always been perfect in my marriage. We've had dishonesty from both sides of us in this marriage. We've had infidelities from both sides of us in this marriage."
To everyone's surprise, Rasheeda revealed that years ago, she also had been unfaithful. She explained that part of her process of forgiving Kirk and moving forward was being honest enough to acknowledge her own missteps.
"So yes, you know I've had infidelities in the past, early in Kirk and I's relationship. But honestly, at this point, bringing everybody here is for everybody to discuss things and face it. We have to come together and face it and talk about it. That's how you move past it."
Recently, we published an article about Adrienne Houghton finding love in her husband Israel, and after reading the comments I realized the overwhelming consensus is that a cheater is to be doomed to ain't shit-ness forever and can never, ever redeemed; but how does that go when it's the other way around and it's the woman in the relationship who has been unfaithful? Should she be bashed, berated, and banished from happiness and forbidden from ever finding love again?
According to Rasheeda, the answer is no and she extends that same courtesy to her husband. The southern rapper explained:
"Me and Kirk done been through a whole, whole, whole lot of sh-t. We at the point in our relationship where you gotta put things behind you in order to move forward."
Now Rasheeda. I love you girl, but I'm not sure I could ride for a man after he's done everything I saw in that 40-minute supercut. But again, I have to remember, I only saw 40 minutes of this couple's 20-year union. Although their relationship dynamic may not be my cup of tea, I don't have to drink it because it's not my cup. Do what works for you, sis. And if that means finding it in your heart to forgive someone who's done you wrong, personally, professionally, or romantically, then who am I to tell you, 'you're wrong'?
Rashida had this advice for any couple that's currently going through infidelity or period of unrest in their relationship:
"Anybody that's outside of y'all relationship, don't let them have so much power to separate y'all. Because people be miserable."
Please understand, this is in no way a sign to text your ex that God told you to leave alone a few weeks ago. I am not saying that you should automatically fall back in love with someone who hurt you, but what I am saying is you'll probably be a lot happier if you make the decision to forgive them, even if it's just so that you can move on solo in peace.
Watch the full clip below!
Rasheeda Reveals She Cheated on Kirk | Love & Hip Hop: Atlantawww.youtube.com
Featured image by Instagram.
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak