

You know what? Sometimes, you've got to push a few coins aside and determine in your mind that you're going to invest into your sex life (if you had a sex jar, this would be easier to do, by the way. You can read more about what that is all about here). If you're someone who is totally down to do that, but you don't have a clue where to begin, boy have you come to the right place! Between the joy of being a writer who sometimes gets samples sent to me, the constant research that I do for the couples I work with and having folks shout-out certain items semi-often, I've compiled a list of 12 sex-related items that may seem random AF (a pun is kind of intended there) and, at the same time, can make sex so much better between you and your partner. Where's your pad at? You're definitely gonna wanna take note.
1. Jenga PDF Sexy Couples - Erotic Adult Party Game for Adventurous Couples
Something that's cool about sex games is they can help to bring some laughter and lightness into the atmosphere. While having that kind of goal might seem odd on the onset, it's always important to remember that sex doesn't have to be sober-minded and serious. It's actually supposed to be a lot of fun! So, if you want to bring some extra light-hearted-with-a-touch-of-horny foreplay into your space, this is a PDF that you can purchase and immediately download with instructions, including numbers to put on your Jenga pieces and naughty questions that you can ask your partner. (It's on Etsy. You can cop it here.)
2. Melting Rose Petals
If there's one thing that can hinder a lot of us from going all out when it comes to "setting the stage" for a romantic evening, it's the thought of how much clean up will be required on the back end (sigh). That's a part of the reason why this particular item caught my eye.
If you and yours adore nothing more than soaking in the tub together, rose petals can definitely help to cultivate the right mood. The dope thing about these, in particular, is they slowly melt into your bathwater while leaving a smell of fresh stems. This means no worry about having to scoop petals up when you're done. Excellent.
(Pink Cherry is the site that sells them. Go here to buy a batch.)
3. Earthly Body Edible Massage Candle
What I personally like about this product is it combines the soft glow of a candle with the convenience of a massage oil that you can easily lick off — a win all the way around, y'all! What makes this edible massage candle even better is it's vegan-friendly, has apricot and coconut oil in it (which makes it nourishing for your skin) and it comes in three different flavors — strawberry, watermelon and vanilla. Since it's a 4 oz. candle, it should last you, shoot, at least a couple of rounds, right? Here's hoping. (Adam & Eve has got you on this one. Get it here.)
4. Edible Candy Lingerie Gift Set
There are times when, while I'm perusing the internet, I'll see something that is simply cute. That's how I felt when I noticed what looked like a string bikini set (top and bottom) that's made out of edible candy. Pretty sure there's no need to break this one's possibilities all the way down, right? Anyway, Walmart sells both pieces at a reasonable price. You can check it out here.
5. Sensuva Ice Cube Flavoured Cooling Nipple Balm
For some, nipples are a peak erogenous zone. For others, not so much (check out "So, What If 'Typical Erogenous Zones' Annoy TF Outta You?"). That said, whether you are trying to experience (or experience more) nipple orgasms or you're with someone who is a "breast person" and you want to learn how to enjoy getting aroused in that area more, something that could help you out is nipple balm. This particular kind will help to harden your nipples while providing a cooling sensation. Plus, the chocolate mint flavor will definitely help to put an even bigger smile on your partner's face. Lovehoney carries it. Get it here.
6. System Jo H2O Flavored Lubricant Collection
The wetter, the better, right (check out "The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant")? Yeah, my sentiments exactly. Flavored lubricant can be a lot of fun, especially when it comes to oral sex, because it provides a way for you to do what you're doing while enjoying a flavor that you really like. Something that I dig about this brand is it's got a ton of different flavors to choose from including Cherry Burst, Cotton Candy, Green Apple, Peachy Lips, Juicy Pineapple and so many others (the company boasts of a whopping 17!). Dear Lady is a site that has a good amount of different ones (go here). Yet if you want to go to the System Jo H2O site to see what other merchants carry this product, you can do that by going here.
7. Like A Virgin Tightening Pleasure Gel
So, before we even get into this one, check out an article that I wrote on this topic last spring entitled, "What Science Says About A So-Called 'Loose Vagina'". The bottom line is your vagina doesn't "overstretch" from sex (remember, we can push babies out through there!). So, more than anything, the name of this product is probably more of a marketing ploy than anything else. Still, it gets a shout-out here because it creates a tingling feeling as it helps the muscles within your vaginal walls to slightly contract (in the best way possible), of course. Restoring you to virgin status is pushing it yet providing a nice sensation during intercourse is something that it certainly can do. (Another Adam & Eve gem. Cop it here.)
8. GLYDE Organic Flavored Condoms
There's no way around the fact that the best way to proactively prevent contracting an STD or an unplanned pregnancy is to use a condom (check out "10 Things You Should DEFINITELY Know About Condoms" and "10 Ways To Make Using A Condom So Much More Pleasurable"). Here's the thing, though — a lot of people seem to forget (or is it blatantly ignore?) that you can get a sexually transmitted disease or infection from oral sex too. This is where flavored condoms come in and if you're not in an exclusive relationship where both of you get tested regularly, you should definitely have a box of these in your stash.
What I like about this brand is 1) the condoms are organic; 2) they are ethically made; 3) they're made out of latex and are ultra-thin (which your partner will definitely appreciate) and 4) they come in a variety of flavors. In fact, I recommend getting a variety pack (vanilla, strawberry, licorice, wildberry and blueberry) to see how you like 'em.
GLYDE is the company. The page for the variety pack is located here.
9. High on Love Chocolate Body Paint
Have you always been curious about whether or not weed ultimately makes sex better? If so, check out "7 Proven Ways Weed Makes Sex So Much Better". After doing that, getting yourself some chocolate body paint (the kind that has hemp seed oil in it) just may pique your interest. Some perks about this particular brand of body paint is it's water-based (so it won't jack up your sheets), it smells and tastes like chocolate and, since hemp seeds are full of protein and amino acids that can help to boost your energy levels, at the very least, you'll be in for a night of sensual experimentation and longevity. (EdenFantasys sells it. Get it here.)
10. We-Vibe Melt App Controlled Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator
A couple of years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, "How To Experience Amazing Foreplay (When You and Yours Are Apart)". The main reason why is because statistics show that at least 14-15 million people within the United States alone are currently in a long-distance relationship. If you happen to be one of them, hey, I don't have to tell you how challenging it can be when it comes to "scratching that itch", each and every time the mood hits. A work-around that can at least help things to become more bearable is a clitoral stimulator.
What intrigues me about this one is it comes with 12 different sensations, is waterproof and USB-rechargeable and you and your partner can connect it to an app so that he can help to get you off (yes, literally) no matter where he may be. The main hack to keep in mind is this one works best with some water-based lube. And while it's not the cheapest thing on the block (it currently retails for around $150), can you really put a price tag on consistent sexual pleasure? I mean, relatively-speaking? #wink (Get this at Lovehoney. Find it here.)
11. Wonderful Honey
Something that I kept hearing about the past few months, to the point where I did some investigating with some of the men in my world, is Wonderful Honey. Word on the street is it's a natural way to increase testosterone levels and build stamina and endurance. Each shipment contains 12 packets at 15 grams a pop. Like I said, men are huge fans. Couldn't hurt, right? (Medallion Mercantile is just one site that sells it. Check it out here.)
12. Dripstick
I don't think there's a better way to round up this sex-themed shopping list than to share with you something that I think every woman should own.
It's called a Dripstick and it's currently the only stick on the market that is able to remove excess fluid from your vagina following sexual activity. It's medical grade (a sponge is what you'll be using). The packaging is solid. It's also really easy to use (instructions are here).
So, if wet spots irk you, you and your partner like quickies but you hate the after-romp clean-up or there's some other reason why you've always wondered why something like this doesn't exist — Merry Christmas (LOL). It finally does. Awkward Essentials is the company. Get yourself at least one 20-pack box here. Enjoy!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
The ChatGPT Prompts That Got Me Through A Career & Life Transition
Oftentimes when we hear about ChatGPT prompts, there's always some sort of business pitch, entrepreneurship push, or other shortcut connected to money-making. (Well, at least that's been the annoying case with my Instagram feed.) It's undeniable, though, that ChatGPT prompts can be game-changers, even beyond business plans or revenue schemes.
For me, creating and using my own ChatGPT prompts has been more about self-motivation, self-development and inspiration, especially at a tough time of career transitions and personal shifts. And as cray-cray as things seem in the U.S., especially related to one's livelihood, future financial stability, and overall mental health, I decided to take back a bit of my power using a great AI resource that you'll literally wonder how the hell it knows you so well to even answer your prompts so accurately.
Here are a few ChatGPT prompts that have been super-helpful and empowering related to career and finances. Simply visit OpenAi.com/Index/ChatGPT (or use the app of your choice), copy and paste the prompts, and be sure to fill in the blanks before submitting them:
The "Level Up" Prompt
Write an encouraging letter to a Black [your age]-year-old woman who is a [occupation] and wants to level up in her career. She lives in [city and/or state], earns [your yearly salary], and wants to be able to [career passion 1], [career passion 2], [career passion 3] during her work day. She also wants to earn [your dream salary] and work from [office/home/dream place of business] but feels challenged by [briefly state challenge here in 3-4 words.]
I swear ChatGPT got me all the way together, reminded me of the amazing experienced journalist, editor, and speaker that I am, and gave quick tips on how to take things to the next level that are actually doable.
The "Get My Credit Card Debt In Check" Prompt
Write a detailed plan, with categories, for a woman in her [age group] who is a [occupation] earning [your yearly salary]. She wants to cut at least 50 percent of her current credit card debt of [card balance] with an APR of [percentage]. Her minimum payment is [amount] and she'd like to cut down in [days/months/years]. Her expenses include [list] along with non-negotiable spending on [leisure/travel/fitness/wellness or other activity].
From here, it can also create spreadsheets or you can request that it get more specific with each category. You can also request that the plan be adjusted based on the first response and whether it truly fits something you can realistically do. Add more specific details based on your life, the unique challenges you face, or other options you have in mind knowing what you're capable of or you're realistically interested in doing to pay off a debt.
The "Retire Early" Prompt
Write a step-by-step early retirement plan for a woman age [your age]. She has [time in years] of experience in [industry] and has been working for her current company for [how many years]. She also currently earns [amount] per year. She lives in [city and/or state], [rents/owns], and has [amount] in savings. She also has [amount] in her 401K [or Roth IRA---whichever is relevant to your situation.] She currently has [amount] in her checking account(s). [Add any other details about your earnings including side hustles, businesses, freelance work, settlements, lottery, rental income, or other funds you have access to.] She has [amount] in unpaid debt. She'd like to retire by [age; and be reasonable sis] and live in [city and state/country].
While early retirement might seem like a pipe dream to some of us, a prompt like this lets you know that it's more possible than you think. It's also something great to take to a financial adviser so you can sift through what's actually doable (based on real-life scenarios) and what's not.
The "Career Pivot" Prompt
Write a plan for a woman who works as a [occupation] and wants to pivot into earning money doing [new career or career activity]. She is passionate about [activity or goal] to serve [potential audience/client/customer]. She wants to transition out of [current career] to earn [amount] doing [new career or career activity] by [time/date] and earn [dream income that you'd make doing the new career activity]. Include steps and categories. Include a timeline to achieve this by [date].
This is a helpful prompt when you feel stuck in your current role (or even your career altogether) and simply need inspiration on what could be the perfect pivot. You can update this to include different career activities or scenarios, add company names or brands, and even ask for pitches or ways to brand yourself online to achieve this goal.
The "Faith-Filled Career Confidence Booster" Prompt
Write a letter from God to a woman who is feeling like she is behind in life. She feels lost and scared, especially with everything that is going on in the U.S. right now, politically and economically. She is [age], works as a [occupation], and lives in [city/state]. She has [educational degrees or training], loves [three passions/hobbies/favorite activities], and has [mention family, spouse, children, or other loved one, even if a pet here.] She is [mention three things you like about yourself including one about your appearance]. She wants to achieve [list two small but important goals here that are related to personal and/or professional life]. She has faced [list any major and specific challenges, briefly, here] and does not know how she will handle these challenges. Include [Bible verses] of encouragement to study.
This prompt had me in tears, but it reminded me of my Biblical upbringing and my foundation for success and motivation. It also reminded me to get stronger in my faith, to read my Bible a bit more, and to stop allowing doom and gloom to inform my approach to problem-solving.
The "Talk That Career Ish" Prompt
Write a letter from the perspective of a football [or sport of your choice] coach for a woman aged [age] who works as the best [occupation] in [city, state]. She has accomplished [list 3-5 highlights of your career, whether past or recent] and is a leader in [relevant business or career activities that reflect leadership, whether you've accomplished these things or they're aspirational]. She brings the following skills to the work with her: [list 2-5] and she is proud of [aspirational career goal of you at your highest career self.]
Add in the name of your favorite coach and this gets even better! (I used Deion Sanders, but choose who you want.) You'll not only get hyped up to remember the fabulous bad boss you are, but you'll also get tips on how to be even more successful in the future.
Try any of these prompts and use them as stepping stones to prompt positive thinking, further conversations for financial and career planning, or just a fun and potentially constructive distraction from all the mess that's going on. Dig deeper and request more specific steps, inclusions of actual resources like books, conferences, or course recommendations, or create images, vision boards, or graphs. Add in specifics that will help you remain accountable in planning to meet a specific financial or career goal.
Also, this is a big one: Be sure to remember that ChatGPT is simply a tool. It's neither a genie nor the Almighty. You'll need to fact-check, use common sense, and adjust any sort of plans based on your actual reality. Try out these ChatGPT prompts as springboards for sparking imagination, motivation, and innovation.
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