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15 Pretty Tripped Out Things You May Not Know About Penises
This is a women's lifestyle site. This means that, automatically, we are Team Vagina. But since all of us got here with the help of a penis and many of us enjoy the company and pleasure of them as adults, I thought it would only be fair (and necessary) that since I wrote "15 Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Your Own Vagina" that I circle back around and share some interesting facts about men's genitalia too.
Something tells me that if you take five or so minutes to, at least skim this, there will be a couple of times when your eyes get big. Shoot, I write about sex for a living and about four of these points tripped me right on out. Are you ready for a little bit of semi-NSFW reading that will make you well-versed in the lane of male genitalia?
1. Baby Boys Have Erections Within the Womb
I've got an ex who used to get erections whenever he ate something that he really liked. It was the first time when I saw actual proof that men can get hard for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with sex. Another solid example? Baby boys are able to get erections while they are developing in their mother's womb (check out "It Starts in the Womb: Helping Parents Understand Infant Sexuality"). Oh, and speaking of development, a man's penis officially stops growing once he hits his early 20s.
2. There Are “Growers” and Then There Are “Showers”
Here's a great PSA for why you should never assume that grey sweatpants are telling you all that you need to know about a guy's genitalia. The reality is that some men are "growers" while others are "showers". What's the difference?
A shower is someone whose penis is basically the same size whether he is flaccid or erect while a grower is someone whose penis grows significantly in size whenever he experiences an erection. Factors like tissue elasticity, collagen and a man's overall health can determine what category he falls into.
Also, interestingly enough, it's not uncommon for some fellas to start off in one category and then move over into another as he ages. One more thing. Whatever is visible to the naked eye is only half of what a man has goin' on. The other part of his penis is housed inside of his body.
3. Smoking Can Shorten a Man’s Penis
If you're currently with a smoker, here's another motivation for him to quit. Something that smoking does is restrict blood flow to his penis. When that happens, it can prevent him from getting—or maintaining—a maximum erection; this, in turn, can result in a smaller penis. How small? Only about a centimeter. But still, since smoking is unhealthy anyway, why not convince him to get that centimeter back by stopping?
4. Erectile Dysfunction Is Not Nearly As Common As Erectile Dissatisfaction
When a man struggles with getting or maintaining an erection, the proper term for it is erectile dysfunction. While it affects approximately 30 million American men, something that I found to be fascinating is the fact that a far greater culprit is erectile dissatisfaction. No, it's not when a man is no longer interested in his partner. Erectile dissatisfaction is what happens when, as a man ages, he starts to compare his younger sexual self to his current way of being. This tends to happen to many men when they are between the ages of 40-50. Oftentimes, it's because it takes them a longer time to become erect in between sexual escapades. The remedies? Less stress and more patience from their partner are a great place to start.
5. Going by a Man’s Shoe Size Is a Total Myth
Unfortunately, I still hear people reference this myth enough to where it has to be mentioned. The size of a man's shoe has NOTHING to do with the size of his member. Matter of fact, one of my past partners had a huge foot and one of the smallest penises that I had ever been with. On the flip side, according to theInternational Journal of Impotence Research, a man's age, height and index finger length does have something to do with how much is going on down below. But still, you really won't know until…you know.
6. Semen Is a Low-Calorie “Snack”
I say it often because it's true. Sperm (the cells that actually fertilize eggs) and semen (the fluid that carries the cells) are like the ultimate multi-vitamin (check out "Do You Swallow? The Unexpected Health Benefits Of Sperm" to learn why). If you are a partaker and any part of you is curious as to how many calories you're taking in whenever you throw a shot back, you're getting somewhere between 5-25 calories. At least that's what the word on Google street says.
7. The Average Man Has Many Erections a Day
How many erections do most men have on a daily basis? The average clocks somewhere around 11 with 3-5 of them happening at night. How long do nighttime erections last? Usually somewhere between 25-35 minutes.
So, if your man happens to be all about tapping your shoulder in the middle of the night or being totally down for morning sex, this is probably why.
8. Ejaculate Moves Pretty Fast
Ever wonder how fast ejaculate comes out? It's not slow, by any means. While it does kind of vary per guy, the average is somewhere around 28 miles per hour. When you think about how that's double the amount of a lot of school zones, it reminds us why Samantha (from Sex & the City) once said, "They don't call [a blow job] a job for nothin'."
9. Some Men Can Climax Without Erections
Never assume that just because a man doesn't ejaculate during sex that he didn't have a really good time. When a guy climaxes without releasing any semen, it's called a dry orgasm. Matter of fact, it's not uncommon for guys to "reach the peak" without ever having an orgasm at all.
10. Broken Penises Are A Real Thing
A man who says his penis is "broke" is someone who is basically expressing that the blood vessels that are inside of his penis ended up bursting which resulted in some pretty painful swelling. And what causes a broken penis (or penile fracture) to happen most often? Rigorous masturbation, his partner being on top (and moving too vigorously at an awkward angle) or him bumping into something—pardon the pun—hard (like a door) while his penis is erect. If it does happen, ice packs and ibuprofen can help with the healing process.
11. Some Men Can Give Themselves Fellatio
This might just be the most random (and fascinating) penis point on this entire list. While some call it "auto-fellatio" and others refer to it as being "self-fellatio", there are men who are actually limber enough to give themselves head. I read somewhere that approximately 1 in 400 men are able to do it. Does the same go for women and cunnilingus? Maybe if you're a contortionist, but since we don't have anything that "sticks out" when we're aroused, it's a lot more difficult. (I don't know if you consider that to be good or bad news. Report back.)
12. Blue Balls Are Also Real (and Have a Scientific Name)
Whenever you hear a man talk about having blue balls, it's best not to roll your eyes. Yes, it's a very real thing and the scientific name for it is prostatic congestion (or epididymal hypertension, depending on who you ask). It's basically what happens when blood gets trapped inside of his testicles, resulting in some pretty extreme achiness and discomfort. Now here's what guys may not tell you.
Blue balls don't only transpire when a man is horny and unable to get a release. It can also come as the result of having too much sex, masturbating too often, having a cold, drinking excessively or even eating too much spicy food. That's why an orgasm isn't the only remedy for prostatic congestion. Taking a warm shower or an aspirin can oftentimes bring relatively quick relief too.
13. Very Few Men Actually Need Magnum Condoms. XL, That Is.
I don't know about you but, back in my sexually active days, it always used to tickle me that almost every man I was with had a pack of Magnums, even though every man I was with wasn't in need of one—if you know what I mean.
From what I've read, only six percent of men should actually purchase that brand, if it's the "XL variety" that they are after (which is exactly what they typically choose to buy). The reason why is because Magnums measure at a little over eight inches long and a little over two inches wide. While the average size of most penises (erect) is 5.16 inches.
That's why it really is best, for all parties involved, for men to ditch the ego boost of a Magnum and utilize an actual condom chart before actually purchasing this kind of prophylactic. Condoms are most effective (and feel best) when they actually…fit correctly.
14. Stress DEFINITELY Affects a Man’s Erections and Orgasms
When a man has a difficult time maintaining an erection or having an orgasm, more times than not, stress is the root cause. In some instances, this is referred to as "orgasmic dysfunction" which can be brought on by age and medications but also shyness, low self-esteem, relationship problems, sexual guilt (that's sometimes brought on by religious beliefs and upbringing) or even—get this—nagging. The reason why this is a good thing to keep in mind is because, a lot of times, we think that only women need to be "mentally in tune" in order to enjoy coitus. But, as you can see, if men aren't in a place of peace and calm, it can wreak havoc on their sex lives too.
15. Black Men Do Lead the “Pack”. But Only Slightly.
I believe it's a man by the name of Roberto Esquivel Cabrera who currently holds the record for having the largest penis in the world. How large is it? You ain't ready—it's a whopping 18.9"! He's not a Black man which makes him the perfect lead in for my final penis fact. While it has been stereotyped since, forever, that Black men have the biggest penises out of all ethnicities, that is only "a little bit true". What I mean is, according to another study conducted by the International Journal of Impotence Research, "We have shown that the man's mean penis length who identifies himself as black is just a little bit bigger than the one who identifies himself as white. However, there were no significant differences between groups regarding self-assessment of genital body image." This is a nice way of saying that you shouldn't assume our Black kings are always "large and in charge" or that Karen's brothers are teeny-tiny. It's kind of a crap shoot, so require more than penis size when selecting a partner; even when it comes to sex.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
I Asked 10 Men What Turned Them On. This Is What They Said.
What?! Only 35 Percent Of Men Go Down? Say It Ain't So.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next October (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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50 Cent Is Celibate And Might Be Open To Marriage In The Future
50 Cent wears many hats. He's a rapper, actor, executive producer of the very successful Power franchise, author, and father. With such a hectic lifestyle, the "21 Questions" artist has also decided to vow celibacy. He first revealed that he was celibate in a New Year's post in January.
"My new idea is so big, I don’t have time to be distracted I’m practicing abstinence, I have been meditating and focusing on my goals. I hope this New Year helps you excel to the next level," he wrote.
And he elaborated on his decision during his recent visit to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. "Listen, when you calm down you can focus," the 49-year-old mogul said. "I've been good to me."
He also explained how his financial status can complicate things and being celibate helps him see things clearer.
"[Money is] when things start getting complicated, things start getting confusing cause people come in for different reasons," he said. "If you go on a date but you have no interest in anything, I can see you now. I said, ‘God damn, girl, you fine, but you ain’t got nothing going on."
When Stephen asked if The Accomplice author has ever been married, he responded with, "I am safe. I’m not a happy hostage. I’m here. I’m free. I made some mistakes, just not that one."
Later on in the interview, 50 clarified that he still wants a romantic relationship and possible marriage down the line, but that's not his focus at the moment. "I want someone I can love in my life too, just not right now. I’m fine."
50 has had a lot of high-profile relationships, from Vivica A. Fox to Ciara. Here's a look back at his relationships below.
Shaniqua Tompkins
Before 50 became famous, he was dating Shaniqua Tompkins and they share a child, 27-year-old Marquise Jackson. For years, the former couple have been involved in a back-and-forth over their son and eventually, the rapper's relationship with Marquise turned sour.
Meagan Good
Meagan Good confirmed in a Hollywood Unlock interview that she and the Queens-bred rapper did date in the past. They reportedly dated from 2002 to 2003, and she starred in his music video for "21 Questions."
“Just to bring clarity on that, that was over a decade ago, and it was for about a year. … I kept it under the radar intentionally because…at that time in my career, I’d just come off of Biker Boyz, I’d just done the music video, and my career was going in a really great way," she explained. "And what I didn’t want was my connection to him to be the catalyst in any type of success that I had."
Vivica A. Fox
Photo by KMazur/WireImage
50's relationship with Vivica A. Fox might be his most memorable one yet. After publicly complimenting her on her dress at the 2003 BET Awards, they showed up at the MTV VMAs together later that year. Their love affair was brief, but their public feud lasted years. Two decades later, they seem to have both put the petty past behind them.
Joy Bryant
Joy Bryant and the "In da Club" rapper reportedly dated from 2005 to 2006. The two were co-stars in Get Rich or Die Tryin' and had impeccable chemistry. However, it seems they couldn't replicate that chemistry offscreen.
Ciara
Photo by Johnny Nunez/WireImage
The "Can't Leave Him Alone" collaborators dated from 2007 to 2010. In 2012, Ciara revealed why they ultimately called it quits during an interview with the Ricky Smiley Morning Show. “He’s obviously far from afraid of anything that he can control. But at the same time — him not being afraid of anything in that way — the one thing he is afraid of is love," she said. "And with that being said, in a sense, he’s afraid of me.”
Chelsea Handler
The couple that surprised everyone the most was 50 Cent and Chelsea Handler. The comedian called the mogul her favorite ex. “I love 50 Cent, he was fun. He was just a sweetheart, and he was fun to be around,” Chelsea told Entertainment Tonight in January 2023. “My friends loved hanging out with him. I loved hanging out with him. It was a pretty short-lived romance. It was only two months. But yeah, I mean, If I saw him, I’d definitely have a drink with him.”
Daphne Joy
50 dated model Daphne Joy from 2011-2012, and they share a 12-year-old son, Sire. The Grammy award-winning artist is currently suing his ex for defamation after she accused him of rape. This accusation came after 50 asked for sole custody of their son following Lil Rod's sex abuse lawsuit against Diddy, which alleged that Daphne was a longtime sex worker. The model has also accused her ex of abuse in the past.
Jamira "Cuban Link" Haines
Photo by JC Olivera/Getty Images
Jamira Haines, known on social media as Cuban Link, and 50 began dating in 2019. Since then, they have made many public appearances together and have been posted on each other's social media pages. However, it appears the law school student and the rapper are no longer together. While neither party has confirmed the breakup, Jamira has scraped her social media with any traces of 50.
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