Making money is, essentially, a game.
Once you learn how to play any game, it's often easier to win.
I've doubled my income multiple times over the last five years. Each time I made a leap in my income, it was because I worked on myself more than anything. I worked on how I lived my life. I worked on the beliefs I held. I worked on healing old wounds. I worked on my faith. I worked on my skills and abilities. I raised myself up to become the person who could make the kind of money I desired to make.
The first four years of my career were spent working at a global consulting firm. Although it seemed like the perfect job on the outside, there was a lot of pressure and bureaucracy that came with such a prestigious job and I didn't feel like I fit in there.
I was also working one, sometimes two side jobs, just to make some extra cash doing everything from promotional modeling to hostessing. Despite the hustle, I was only making around $45,000 a year. That was a lot of work and a lot of fight for such small paychecks.
I was also pretty unhappy in life and with myself. I was living in a place I didn't like. I spent most of my evenings watching TV. My friends and coworkers were buying homes, traveling, and living a life that was richer and fuller than mine.
I finally got fed up with my situation and started to work on myself. At 24, I realized no one was coming to save me and that it was up to me to save myself.
I canceled my cable and started going to the gym. I started reading books about personal growth, life, and money. I started cooking and eating healthier foods. I started thinking for myself as opposed to what we're told to think. And I starting focusing on the goodness in life as opposed to the things that sucked.
It was not easy, but I was determined to create a better life for myself. It took me about two years of self-improvement before my outside world fully reflected the inside world.
Before I knew it, I had paid off over $10,000 in credit card debt with the principles I learned about money and I set a goal to make $60,000 a year. That seemed like a lot of money and I didn't know how I was going to make it happen, or if I could make it happen. But something in me believed it was possible.
I shared my goal with my therapist at the time. I was shocked at her response when she told me my goal was bull-ish. Instead, she lovingly told me that I should aim for $75,000 a year. Not because $75,000 was some magical number, but because I was worth it.
$75,000 a year felt like a ridiculous goal. How could someone like me make that kind of money? I didn't have more than an undergraduate degree and a few years working experience. How in the hell was I going to pull that off? The fact that my therapist believed in me and believed I could earn $75,000 a year made me believe it also.
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A few months later, a friend and colleague reached out to me because her consulting firm was hiring for a specific position that she thought I would be perfect for. A few interviews later, I had a job offer for exactly $75,000 a year. And because I was starting to realize how powerful and worthy I was with all of the work I was putting into myself, I had the balls to ask for $80,000 - and the company accepted my counter-offer!!!!!
The day I went from working two jobs making $45,000 a year to $80,000 a year with one job was one of the most profound days of my life. I felt like I had won the lotto. I remember crying, overwhelmed with joy thinking, How did this happen to someone like me?
It happened because of all the changes I made in my life and within myself. They had paid off - literally.
Once I started making $80,000, I knew I was on to something. So I set my next income goal: to earn more than $100,000 a year. And I wanted to own my own business.
After I set that goal, I kept focused on myself and on my growth because I knew my life had changed because I had changed. I did the necessary work on myself and had a higher sense of self-worth. And I delved even deeper into becoming the woman I knew I could be. I started attending online seminars and meditating as well as all of the other things I had been focusing on.
But as I grew, so did the challenges I had to face. I ended up getting unexpectedly laid off from that company after only a year of being with them. And I was devastated. I felt like I had just started making more than enough money to pay my bills and save.
And there I was jobless.
When I was laid off, I was able to handle it like an adult. I never thought I could have handled something to awful with so much grace. But I chose to view it as an opportunity to create something even better in my life.
And it was.
Instead of taking any job that came my way to make ends meet, I continued to work on myself while scouring job boards for positions that fueled my passions. I envisioned myself in those positions, and after only six weeks without work, an opportunity came my way. It would allow me to start my own business and I would be earning over $150,000 a year. A friend and colleague knew my situation and put me in touch with the program manger of a big project she was part of who was looking for a consultant. After a few phone interviews, the gig was mine. I registered my business and started a bank account in my business name the next week!
This was another profound, pivotal moment in my life. I had done it - again. I had achieved both goals within a year of setting them. But most importantly, I had evolved to the next level of myself and so I was ready for the next level of success.
When I started working on myself, it was out of fear that I might never move out of that crappy house and that I would be stuck in a job I didn't like. Fear that I would live paycheck to paycheck for the rest of my life. Fear that I might never live the full life I knew was possible. Constantly focusing on that fear and what I didn't like about my life only attracted more fear and turmoil in my life. Once I changed my thinking, and started focusing more on the things I enjoyed, where I wanted to be, and how I was going to get there, my life started changing for the better.
And I've continued to work on myself, not because of the money, but because of the woman I continue to evolve to be. Once you are able to build your self-worth, it will allow you the security of knowing that you will never have to settle for less than what you truly deserve in all aspects of your life.
Brittney Pappano consults and advises businesses of all shapes and sizes, from Fortune 100 companies to life coaches to women with a big dreams. She's a self-made hustler determined to live her best life and to help other women do the same. Her saviors are books, yoga, Drake, and daydreaming. Connect with her on Facebook: Brittney.pappano, and Instagram: @Brittney_pappano
Featured image by Getty Images.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Fortunately, five simple words have simplified my dating process and ushered in clarity faster: “Would my husband do this?”
A couple of years ago, I met an entertainment lawyer who was tonguing down a twenty-something-year-old woman for breakfast while I slurped my green smoothie and chomped on a flatbread sandwich. Okay, Black love, I grinned and thought as I sauntered out of the Joe & The Juice. As soon as I stepped down from the front door, a torrential downpour of Miami summer rain cascaded and throttled me back inside to wait out the storm.
I grabbed a hot green tea and vacillated between peering out the wet door and anxiously checking my watch. My lengthy agenda started with attending the Tabitha Brown and Chance Brown’s “Black Love” panel, and I was already late. That’s when the lawyer introduced himself to me, after he made a joke about neither one of us wanting to get soaked by the rain. His female companion had braved the storm, leaving us to find our commonalities.
We both lived in L.A. and had traveled to the American Black Film Festival to expand our network. He represented various artists, including entertainment writers, while I was working as a writer/creative producer in Hollywood.
While there is no shortage of internet advice on how to strategically meet a prominent man at conferences, if I spend my hard-earned funds on career growth, I have tunnel vision, and that doesn’t include finding Mr. Right. So, I stowed his contact details away as strictly professional.
Keep It Cute Love And Hip Hop GIFGiphyAs the humidity and mosquitoes were rising around L.A., two months later, another suitor-turned-terrible match cooled off after three unimpressive dates and a bevy of red flags. I posted what some of my friends called a thirst trap, but it was really me wearing a black freakum jumpsuit with a plunging neckline to my friend’s 35th birthday soiree despite feeling oh, so unsexy and bloated on my cycle.
I’d been waiting to post a sassy caption and finally had the perfect picture to match: “You not asking for too much, you just asking the wrong MF.”
That’s when the entertainment lawyer swooped into my DMs and asked me to dinner. I was quite confused. Is he asking me on a date? Or is this professional? Common sense would’ve picked the former. Once it clicked that this would in fact be a date, I told my mentor, who’s been happily married for over twenty years and has often been a guiding light and has steered me away from the wrong men.
Upon telling him about how we met, he emphatically stated, “He ain’t it.” He followed up with a simple question, "You have to ask yourself: Would my husband do this? Would you tell others that you met your husband, tonguing down another woman, and later married him?"
Aint It No Way GIF by UFCGiphyOuch. The thought-provoking question cleared any haze. Prior to going out with the lawyer, the first thing I inquired about was the woman.
“You saw that?” He said, taken aback that I’d witnessed his steamy PDA. Surely, anyone with two open eyes peeped him caressing her backside as he kissed her in the middle of the coffee shop.
He brushed her off as a casual someone he’d gone on a couple of dates with but had since stopped talking to. He said he hadn’t been in a serious relationship in over three years. Though I was still doubtful, dating in L.A. is treacherous and ephemeral. Making it past three months is considered a rarity.
With my antennae alert, I dined with him at a cozy beachside steakhouse restaurant where we were serenaded by a live jazz band. I’d emphasized forming a platonic friendship first.
Break Up Friendship GIF by TLCGiphy“I’ll come to you,” he obliged. I liked that he had made me a priority by driving over 50 miles to see me. I also liked the effort he made to check in with me daily. But I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he initiated on a professional pretense and then alley hooped through the back door on a romantic venture, which bombarded me with confusion.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my dating life, God is not the author of confusion; any man who brings confusion, rather than clarity, is simply not The One. It doesn’t matter how many boxes he checks–eventually, that confusion will manifest itself into bigger problems, in time.
After diving into deeper conversations on the phone, post our first dinner date, I quickly realized this man was indeed not The One for me. But I’m grateful for the valuable lesson I learned.
I don’t expect some unattainable fairytale of a husband; we all have our own flaws and conflict is inevitable, but after dating for two decades, through failure and success, I’ve realized that the person I ultimately marry must mirror the values I exert into the world. He must reciprocate kindness, patience, and respect. He must be quick to listen and slow to respond. He needs to be forgiving and trustworthy, practice healthy communication, and be a man of his word at the bare minimum.
If I’d had “Would my husband do this?” in my toolbox when I was dating and floundering in stagnant relationships, in my twenties, it would’ve saved me a lot of precious time. But now that I’m equipped with the reminder, it’s allowed me to ground myself in my non-negotiables and set/maintain the standard for the special person, I’ll one day say, “I do,” to.
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