Have you ever looked at the hashtags of self-care? The first few hundred photos are mostly of white women smiling, brunching with their girlfriends, and in facial masks and expensive robes. The takeaway? Black women can't afford to take time for themselves.
I'm a firm believer that self-care Saturdays and Sunday should be abolished because my needs aren't defined by what day of the week it is, but I get it - the goal is to emphasize check-ins on you.
But who sets that standard for us? Last year, I decided that my self-care would be radical - which meant that I'd go out of my way to take care of me. And while I love a good spa day as much as the next person, I needed a routine that doesn't cost much, and helped my life run much smoother. Here are nine things you can add to your self-care arsenal:
1.Making difficult decisions.
Someone once told me that happiness isn't a destination that you find yourself at, it's a series of choices. It's those things you don't notice--getting up earlier, saying 'no', leaving your ex on 'read', setting a budget--that ultimately helps you create a life for yourself that love.
2.Owning when you need me-time.
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I find that most Black women wear being there for everyone as a badge of honor, and I refuse to subscribe to those toxic expectations that left our mothers and grandmothers overworked, underpaid, and their love tank on E. When I need time for me, I take it. I've learned that the opposite of selfishness isn't selflessness; it's boundaries and realistic expectations.
3.Doing your laundry before your hamper overflows.
Because being on your last pair of underwear, or your favorite workout gear not being clean in time for a gym session with your girls, never made anyone feel better about their lives (now I can't tell you that I folded the laundry, just know I washed it, sis, I don't know what you want me to tell you).
4.Drinking tea while it's hot.
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Raise your hand if you made tea, sat it down to take care of a million other things, and by the time you picked it up, it was cold - you all just virtually raised your hands. Taking the time to be in the moment and drink my matcha while it's hot in the smallest way is a way I can affirm that I deserve to be still, and enjoy small pleasures.
5.Going to therapy.
Therapy isn't free, but for Black women, it's essential. The weight that we carry around in this world mentally and emotionally deserves release, and we need to normalize prioritizing our budget for it. My co-pay has become my happiest weekly expense because that time on the couch will benefit me for years to come.
6.Clearing out unread emails.
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Answering unread emails/cleaning out spam has become my new favorite pastime. Having tons of people awaiting my response can trigger anxiety, so taking the time to assess my priorities and what I can/can't say 'yes' to is paramount to my organization routine.
7.Spend time with your best friend.
As crazy as my schedule can get, I make it a point to at least once a month make time to hang out with my best friend. Even if it's something as small as a coffee, take that time to check-in with the person that knows you like no one else.
8.Twerk lessons via YouTube.
I don't know if it's just me, but I got tired of not being able to twerk like my girl, Meg. One Friday night, I locked myself in my room, and I didn't come out until I learned how to twerk like the Houston rapper. Even if twerking isn't your thing, learn a new TikTok dance. Laughter and movement are therapeutic in and of itself.
9.Watch your favorite show.
My favorite show of all-time is Girlfriends, and I love watching it in the bathtub with some wine (as well as rose petals, if I have any on-hand). I used to think that romantic baths had to involve a partner, but that time to myself helped me realize that I can treat myself well, whether someone is there to facilitate, or enjoy it with me, or not. I deserve self-care because being a Black woman in American is a revolutionary act and as much as we can - we need to honor that and tend to us, first.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on May 20, 2020
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I had the chance to sit down with the film’s director, Mark Anthony Green, to talk about what inspired this gripping story, how Ayo Edebiri brought something unexpected to the role, and what it was like creating such an immersive world. From cult-like devotion to the dark side of fame, Opus doesn’t just entertain—it makes you think. And according to Mark, that’s exactly the point.
"Best Time Ever"
Opus Movie Screening
Photo by Eric Charbonneau/A24 via Getty Images
Right off the bat, I asked Mark Anthony Green to sum up Opus in just three words. His answer? "Best time ever." Which, if you've seen the trailer, might sound a little ironic considering how intense the film is. But Mark laughed at my skepticism and added, "A little skepticism keeps us all safe."
And honestly, after watching the movie, I might be side-eyeing any future press trips myself.
The Inspiration Behind the Madness
With Opus tackling themes like power, isolation, and the cult of celebrity, I had to know—what sparked the idea for this film?
“There’s this thing I’ve been seeing, and that I think we all have been seeing—how tribalism and idolizing certain figures has become part of people’s identities,” Mark explains. “It’s pushed us away from each other, and it’s become more divisive. I started writing this film six years ago because of that. And, you know, sometimes when you work on a movie for that long, the thing you were grappling with becomes less relevant. But this? This has only become a bigger problem.”
And yet, Mark made one thing clear—while Opus has plenty of social commentary woven into it, the priority was making a wild, entertaining ride. "You described the film as wild, and that’s the highest compliment to me," he says. "I wanted it to be fun, and I wanted people to walk away talking about it."
Ayo Edebiri Like You’ve Never Seen Her Before
Ayo Edebiri
Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images
Ayo Edebiri is best known for her comedic chops, but Opus throws her into a completely different arena. So, what made her the perfect choice for this dark, gripping role?
“The great thing about a talented actor like Ayo is they live for being uncomfortable and being challenged,” Mark says. “And Ayo is one of the most talented amongst the talented. People like that, they don’t shy away from something different—they run toward it.”
Mark couldn’t stop raving about her performance, admitting that even after seeing the film “two trillion times,” he still catches new details in her acting. "She makes these weird, brilliant choices, and I’m still in awe of what she did in this film," he says.
And beyond her skill? Mark just loves everything about her. “She’s gorgeous, she’s original, she’s always in a scene, even if it’s not her moment. I love her skin complexion, her background, her sense of humor. I started out as a fan, and now I’m her biggest fan.”
The Cult-Like Energy and Twisted Twists
Opus has a heavy psychological thriller vibe, with a mysterious, cult-like energy running through it. I asked Mark if any real-life events or films inspired its eerie tone.
His answer? “We recorded John Malkovich, The-Dream, and Nile Rodgers in a Boston studio before filming even started. That was the first moment this whole experiment really felt real. John hit a note, and everyone in the room just kind of looked around like, ‘Holy sh*t.’ It was electric. That alchemy of talent coming together—I’ll never forget it.”
And as for those jaw-dropping twists? Mark was very intentional about keeping the audience on edge. “I wanted every scene to make you question what’s real and what’s not,” he says. “If you think you know what’s going to happen, you’re wrong.”
A Fast and Furious Filmmaking Process
For such a visually stunning and layered film, you’d think Opus had a massive budget and months of shooting time. Nope.
“We shot for 19 days,” Mark reveals. “Which is nothing.”
And yet, the film doesn’t feel rushed at all. That’s thanks to an all-star crew, from the cinematographer to the costume designer. “We didn’t have an excess of resources, but we had incredibly talented people who overdelivered,” he says. “The film has a gravitas that our budget doesn’t reflect, and I’m so proud of that.”
Shoutout to the hair and makeup team, too—because Ayo’s hair was laid flawlessly the entire time. “And that’s not easy when you’re shooting out of order and on such a tight schedule,” Mark laughs. “It was an insane puzzle, but the crew made it work.”
Go See "Opus"—Like, Right Now
If you love thrillers that keep you guessing, Opus is a must-watch. It’s smart, stylish, and just unsettling enough to stick with you long after the credits roll. Plus, Ayo Edebiri in a leading thriller role? We need more of this.
So, consider this your official announcement: Grab your friends, your popcorn, and maybe a nightlight—because Opus is in theaters now, and you don’t want to miss it.
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Feature image by Eric Charbonneau/A24 via Getty Images