The people are watching. As she slowly raises herself up from the floor and onto her hands, arms at 180, unfolding and then folding herself back into position like a collapsible chair, they stare in awe—then break out into accolades ranging from “beast" to “fuckin' goals" at her majestic display of strength and grace all in her tiny 5'1'' frame.
No, I'm not talking Gabby Douglas, I'm talking Racheal Weathers, an equally extraordinary talent in her own right.
A self-taught yogi, if we want to boast.
To her hundreds of thousands of followers, it's almost hard to believe that just four years ago the master of body manipulation was sitting at home twiddling her thumbs when fate led her to the page of fellow yoga queen Irene Pappas. Suddenly filled with inspiration, she tapped into her training as a former gymnast, pulled up a few YouTube videos, and began her own at-home practice.
“I was like I've done this before; it's definitely different, but I think I can do that," says Racheal. “People are always like oh you're good because you did gymnastics and I'm like no that's not the case; it's just practice. You don't have to have a background in anything to start."
Starting from home came with its own set of perks. For one, it kept money in her pockets. With the average cost of a yoga class ranging from $10 to $20, a person looking to make this into a daily practice would quickly find their wallets emptying. It also gave her a chance to become disciplined, and the lack of structure meant that she could go at her own pace and practice in a judgment free zone.
“I've definitely been to a couple of classes and I get stares and looks, and it's like I'm invisible. Then it's like, oh wow her practice is amazing, now let's talk. And it's annoying, it's very annoying."
She's not talking about the admiration experienced from her followers whenever she posts an inspiring photo or video clip of some seemingly impossible magic trick, but the slightly condescending gasps from those surprised that people of all races, genders, and genetic makeups can equally flex and contort their way into jaw-dropping positions, despite the growing popularity of the ancient practice.
“They're just blatantly ignorant to it even if they're not trying to be insulting. I'm coming in there and I'm not comfortable because you're starting at me. And I'm black and I got an afro."
Racheal's not one to talk about it without being about it. Instead of allowing the experience to consume her with anger, she instead channeled her energy into creating a space where people much like her and much different than her could come and comfortably reap the benefits of yoga and meditation.
“I don't care if you weigh 300 pounds, if you want to wear a sports bra and shorts you can and nobody is going to be staring at you or harassing you, you're not going to be ostracized."
As confident as Racheal speaks now, she wasn't always the person who could walk into a room, back straight and head held high. Growing up in Riverside, California, Racheal spent the majority of her childhood taking gymnastic classes, and by middle school became well aware that her thighs were a little thicker and her bottom a little rounder than her naturally thin counterparts. Though she was petite she says she was never skinny, and it became an insecurity that she carried with her even when she slipped her slightly-muscular frame into leggings and a t-shirt, and later into more skin-baring clothing.
“I was like okay, it's getting kind of hard to wear leggings and t-shirts, I need to just step outside of the box," says Racheal. “I was recording my progress on Instagram and I was wearing tank tops and shorts, and I really battled with that hard. So hard. And it's so funny to look back on it, but that was my reality at the time. I definitely give a lot of props to my yoga practice wardrobe for getting me into the mindset of 'okay Racheal, honestly no one cares,' which is a beautiful thing."
It's almost ironic, considering that many of her clients ask her how to get bigger arms and a toned body similar to hers, but Racheal notes that not everyone's body responds the same to the calistitenic-like workout. In fact, looks can be quite deceiving to where a person who appears to have no definition is extremely strong and the person who is flexing their biceps is barely holding their own weight.
But one thing that does appear to be beneficial for all is the spiritual and mental shift that often accompanies yoga. Although there are many practicing Buddhists and Hindus in the yoga community, people of varying beliefs sing the praises of what the practice has done for them mentally and spiritually. For Racheal, it was her relationship with God that grew stronger along with her body. “I don't know the requirements of what those religions are, but they say these certain things and I'm like I'm definitely not there. Those are the moments where I have to say either I'm going to stand for something or fall for anything—you can let them define you or you can define yourself. And it was almost like not defending my faith, but defining it. So from there, my relationship with God started to grow, things started to change, it was a whole 360 spiritually and mentally. Not giving practice the glory, but it was definitely a huge resource getting me to where I am today."
Who she is today is a woman who knows herself and knows what she stands for. She knows that her circle is a reflection of who she is and the direction her life will go, and that anybody with a lifestyle or mindset that doesn't align with hers can be kept at a distance.
“If I'm with you I want our lives to match up in a certain way, and there's a lot of people in the yoga industry that I've connected with. Sweet people, but I would not do a retreat with them because of how they conduct business. Even the yoga apparel lines, they pay amazingly but on your website you have all white women weighing 92 pounds, so what are you really saying? Yeah, you're a great person and you have a great product, but you're not here for everybody, and I am. So I can't connect with you."
In other words, nobody can kill her vibe. It's no surprise that she hangs out with fellow positive energy-enthusiast Alex Elle, who's also built a strong following by speaking her truth and staying rooted in who she is. The writer and entrepreneur took Racheal under her wing and helped her with the foundation of her product line Til.Co, which currently houses her Palm-Aid hand and foot mist to help keep yogis from slipping on their mats. Although she's not out to prove herself as a brand, she's thankful that she's been able to turn her passion into profit. 
Posting her pictures on social media under the moniker Yoga Racheal has lead her from having a small following to teaching sold out classes all over the country and Caribbean, as well as hosting retreats with some of the same women that she used to admire from afar. When she's not traveling, you can catch her at Green Tree Yoga in Inglewood teaching her weekly class, or pursuing other passions, such as voiceover work, as she transitions out of the Air Force and into following her purpose full-time.
“It's beautiful because when I teach classes and people are like you inspired me to do this, I'm like that's amazing to me—to be used for something so amazing and so much bigger than myself. It's literally all God; I had no hand in this."
And she's being completely humble when she speaks of the lives that she's changed by following her instinct. She's not only helped her many students with achieving things with their bodies that they never imagined possible, but she has even helped couples such as Shelah Marie and Ace Hood build stronger relationships and create a deeper connection on an emotional level.
If you ask her, it's simply a part of her purpose.
“I've come to the final realization that I was definitely destined to be a blessing to people. It's so bad because I always want to give stuff away for free, and it's just that part of me that wants to be a blessing. I definitely have to find a balance, but at the end of the day I found that it's what I want to be. If I had to put that on a tombstone it would say: Racheal Weathers wanted to be a blessing."
You can keep up with yoga on Instagram @YogaRacheal.
All images courtesy of Racheal Weathers
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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