The digital and daring world we live in today has provided so many opportunities to find love in unique and non-traditional ways. With more than 7.5 billion people frolicking around the world, it might feel intimidating to try and find who's actually right for us, as individuals.
When I look back at the earlier days of my and my husband's journey, it was the most random questions that showed us we had chemistry and could relate to each other like no one else. In fact, that's the purpose of asking your potential partner questions. It unlocks a pathway to communication by showing that you value what your partner thinks and feels while you learn more about their experiences and perspectives. Asking questions is the key to unlocking the potential of a true connection.
36 Questions Scientifically Proven To Make You Fall In Love
In a study conducted by Arthur Aaron (and made popular by an article in The New York Times), the question of whether or not people could fall in love with each other by asking each other a series of questions was tested. The lucky number was 36. And it's backed by science that these 36 questions can lead to love. There's only one way to find out.
The first set of questions include anything from who the potential lover would want as a dinner guest, to telling their entire life's story in four minutes. It also asks what they think you and the other person have in common, which is a clear indication of their perception of you.
36 Questions to Make You Fall in Love: Set I
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
The second set appears to be a creative way to discover and unearth someone's history, without just coming out and saying, "So, where are you from?" Whether it's a question about their relationship with their mother, or what's most important in a friendship, these questions get DEEP deep.
36 Questions to Make You Fall in Love: Set II
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13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
The third and final set of questions is seemingly a way to build trust, which we all know is important in any relationship. But again, these questions take a thought-provoking approach by asking when is the last time they cried by themselves, asking them for advice on a personal problem, and even light-hearted questions like an embarrassing moment.
36 Questions to Make You Fall in Love: Set III
25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling ... "
26. Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... "
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
Do you think you could fall in love based on these questions? Comment and let us know!
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Featured image by Shutterstock
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
SZA Bares It All: 7 Key Takeaways From SZA's 'British Vogue' Cover Story
Solána Imani Rowe never ceases to amaze us. In a recent interview withBritish Vogueas their December cover star, we got to learn more about our queen and what makes her her. The multi-dimensionality is unreal. It’s one of the things Kendrick Lamar loves about SZA.
He told British Vogue, “Her vulnerability through her music is brave and inspiring. She’s a reminder of what the human experience looks like: a roller-coaster of emotions. And that’s okay. We are alive.”
In her lyrics, SZA often oscillates between contrasting emotions and contradictory statements, creating a stream of consciousness that encompasses both love and hate so this interview reflected that same energy. Ahead, find the seven gems we took away from the much-needed feature.
1.SZA Gets Real About Her BBL
SZA got extremely candid about her decision to get a BBL. In early 2022, she began a rigorous gym routine, swiftly gaining muscle mass. However, despite her progress, the growth of her gluteal muscles lagged behind, presenting a unique challenge in her fitness journey.
"I’m so mad I did that shit," she said.
SZA continued, "I gained all this weight from being immobile while recovering and trying to preserve the fat. It was just so stupid. But who gives a fuck? You got a BBL, you realise you didn’t need the shit. It doesn’t matter. I’ll do a whole bunch more shit just like it if I want to before I’m fucking dead because this body is temporary. It just wasn’t super necessary – I have other shit that I need to work on about myself…
"I need to get my fucking mental health together… Not to say you can’t do those things simultaneously, just, for me, I realise wherever you go, there you’ll be. But I love my butt. Don’t get me wrong. My booty look nice. And I’m grateful that it looks pretty much… I don’t know, sometimes natural, but I don’t even care. It’s something that I wanted. I’m enjoying it. I love shaking it."
2.SZA Takes An Aura-Altering Baño Blanco
Also known as a white bath, this act is used to cleanse negative energies. As PopSugar suggests, a baño blanco, apart from purifying negative energy, is a wonderful method to achieve inner peace and tranquility. This baño might be ideal for you if you have trouble sleeping. Think of it as a soothing lullaby in bath form. Hence, it serves as an excellent introduction to spiritual baths for children. The gentle and comforting touch of this baño will calm their souls and gently usher them into dreamland. Simply mix the baño blanco into warm bathwater and let them absorb all the benefits.
3.SZA Suffers From Severe Anxiety
SZA’s manager and Top Dawg Entertainment (TDE) label president Terrence Henderson Jr, better known as Punch shares the intricacies of performing at a festival like British Summer Time Hyde Park (BST Hyde Park.) The music festival held once a year in London's Hyde Park lasts for up to three weeks.
"When you do a festival, it’s so much shared space… different crews, different teams, you don’t know who’s who." On her own tour, she’ll "come out, mingle and talk to everybody. She’ll usually pull fans back. With a festival… she’ll usually get off stage and go straight to the hotel."
When labelmate Kendrick Lamar first met the star, he recalls her being a "shy yet outgoing individual who was open for information but always had a question about something. At present, he shares, "I recognize a more expressive SZA. The shy shit is completely out the window – to a degree, at least. She has the answers to some of the things she was curious about and is willing to tell it all in the most disruptive yet beautiful compositions this generation has ever heard."
4.SZA Is Really A Nature Girly
In a moment of reflection during the interview, gazing upon a vibrant purple flower, she fights back tears. "Nature just be naturing and we don’t even know why. It’s so weird, and so bizarre, and magical, and so great. It’s such a reminder: this shit is completely out of your control. As she sees it, the weeds are doing their part and they’re part of the larger landscape.
"They don’t get to choose if they’re a fucking tulip or a tiger lily or a dandelion." Homegirl also admitted to talking to everything. "I talk to plants. I talk to energies… I try to greet them. I leave an offering."
5.SZA Questions If She’s Done With Music
"Every day I grapple with, 'Am I done with music?' Maybe I’m just not meant to be famous – I’m crashing and burning and behaving erratically. It’s not for me because I have so much anxiety. But why would God put me in this position if I wasn’t supposed to be doing this? So I just keep trying to rise to the occasion. But I’m also just like, 'Please, the occasion is beating my ass.'"
6.SZA is Here For Her Day Ones
She relies on her "day-one fan pages" to provide feedback and keep her informed about online discussions. The singer struggles with the impersonality of being a public figure and the constant scrutiny and criticism she faces, including being labeled as a whisper artist and having her musical style pigeonholed.
7.SZA Dresses as A Mood
Whether comfortable or ethereal or intellectual, she’ll always choose moods over a specific look. Her longtime stylist, Alejandra Hernandez said, "[Her style] is very similar to her music: a mix of so many different genres."
As a "child of nature," SZA embraces a bohemian style that's currently making a comeback, thanks to Chloé's new direction under Chemena Kamali. While the boho look is often seen as Eurocentric, there's always been a Black hippy movement. We learned that even though SZA loves Maison Margiela, Valentino, and indie labels such as Ottolinger, "she always comes back to vintage: old Tom Ford or Roberto Cavalli; polo rugbys, cargos and oversized Obama tees."
Read the full cover story here.
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Featured image by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic