Puerto Rico has been at the top of my list of places to visit over the last couple of years — mainly because I wanted to support the US Territory, post-hurricane Maria. Puerto Rico has been in the news because of their protest of Gov. Ricardo Rossello, who was caught sending hundreds of pages of sexist, homophobic, inhumane messages including texts joking about the many citizens who lost their lives during Hurricane Maria. As of today, the Governor has finally resigned effective August 2nd.
When I visited Puerto Rico, I could feel the pride and resilience of the people, and their successful twelve-day protest proves it. Though more than 76% of Puerto Rican's identified as white, Puerto Rico is mixed and has African roots. In fact, one of its most popular dishes, Mofongo, is a green plantain mash that is served topped with a protein like chicken or seafood, which is derived from the West and Central African, fufu. To learn more about this history, you'll want to stop in Piñones in Loiza and take a tour with Derek. Loíza was where African slaves (of Yoruba descent) were forced to live and work by the Spanish colonizers during the slave trade.
Since Hurricane Maria, Puerto Rico has made major strides and is ready and opening their arms to tourists to experience their sunshine-filled, cultural mecca.
Here is where I stayed, ate, shopped, danced, and learned in San Juan:
Where To Stay:
Casa Los Cummins
I can thank Hotel Tonight for introducing me to this eight-bedroom B&B run by fashion designer turned home designer, Lucy Cummins. The bright decor and home-like energy of the space were two of my favorite things about staying there — not to mention the location is close to most everything you'll want to see in San Juan. Casa Los Cummins also offers a complimentary breakfast with cereal, eggs, toast, and coffee (or tea).
The Dreamcatcher
Settled in Ocean Park, the nine-room, three-suite hotel is an ideal getaway for true rest and relaxation. I stayed at the The Dreamcatcher for three days in their Sanctuary room which included private outdoor facilities decked out with an outdoor shower. The property offered daily beachside yoga and meditation classes along with breakfast and brunch serving up vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free options to its guests. What I loved even more about the property is that the beach is in our backyard within a two-minute walk from the hotel.
Caribe Hilton
The Caribe Hilton has been a San Juan staple for seventy years and has just reopened its doors after a multi-million dollar restoration initiative. With six oceanfront view pools, a private beach, and a swim-up bar — you won't have to leave the property for beach days.
Where To Eat:
Bebo's Cafe
Bebo's was recommended to me by a Puerto Rican native. If you get a chance to stop by, tell Eduardo I sent you and don't forget to have the crab Mofongo with a side of sangria.
Birria & Empanadas
Located in Old San Juan, the small bar serves cocktails with empanadas you won't want to pass up. I suggest the chorizo or chicken.
Casita Miramar
Casita Miramar was one of my best dining experiences in San Juan. The service was excellent. My whole snapper and seasonal rose apple mojito were my perfect last meal before departing the island.
Double Cake
Double Cake was another option recommended to me by a local. Double Cake is one of many woman-owned businesses in the walkable Calle Loiza in Santurce. Coffee- and sweets- lovers alike will get their fix. The bakery is known for its assortment of cupcakes, but I went for the pecan layered cake. I think it was the southern gal in me that made me go for that choice.
El Nie Bar
Okay, this isn't quite a restaurant as it is more like a dive bar, but the spicy salmon empanadas were so tasty I would take a special trip back to the island to have a bite of one.
Hecho En Casa
Steak mofongo with a side of cabbage and a mojito
Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Located in Old San Juan, this restaurant with its open windows and inviting staff touts offering a traditional approach to Puerto Rican cuisine. The island's staple mofongo is served here but in an open-faced take that is reminiscent of a pot pie and oh-so-delicious. They also have my favorite mojito of all time. And you can't leave without a shot of Gran Anejo rum, which if you didn't know is THE Puerto Rican rum (fun fact: Bacardi rum is actually Cuban despite having a distillery there). It hits different when you're actually in San Juan, trust.
What To Do:
El Yunque National Forest
You can't go to Puerto Rico without visiting one of its most regarded natural treasures, the El Yunque National Forest. While Puerto Rico is known for its beautiful beaches and water activities, El Yunque deserves just as much love. The tropical rainforest expands to about 29,000 acres and its vast beauty can be uncovered either alone or one of many excursions the island has to offer.
La Placita
This famed nightlife spot has been around for over 100 years and is the Thursday night hangout for people to let their inhibitions go and dance the night away. Imagine a block party times one thousand. La Placita made my trip to Puerto Rico one I'll never forget. I danced to music I knew from my hometown (The Migos and Lil Nas X were on blast) and shook my hips to Reggaeton classics and new additions from Puerto Rico's own Bad Bunny. Even though there were thousands of people bouncing from club to club (I don't like crowds), I never felt unsafe.
Esquina El Watusi
El Watusi
This is a local hangout where people spill out into the street with their Medalla Light, talk with their friends, and salsa dance the night away with live music as their soundtrack.
La Factoria
La Factoria is the Saturday night hotspot, and since my flight was out at 6 pm that day, I missed experiencing it firsthand. The nightlife spot has nearly a five-star rating on Yelp and lives up to what co-founder Roberto Berdecia hoped for, "We intended to create a space that will help elevate the Puerto Rican cocktail industry and take it to another level so that the country would gain worldwide recognition." If you're a whiskey drinker, the spiced old fashion seems to be a universal crowd-pleaser.
Get Photos With A Tour On The Side
Raul Lopez Mestres
When I reached out to Raul about his Street Art Photo + Walk, it was a long shot because his Airbnb Experience is usually sold out, but I was lucky, and he made room for me. We walked the streets of Santurce, took photos, and talked about what it means to be creative with loads of student loan debt (relatable, right?).
Johnny & June
To be honest, I hadn't given much thought to shopping while I was in Puerto Rico, but I'm glad I did. I started Googling and stumbled across a sister-run vintage shop in the Santurce district. They had vintage Moschino pieces and more reasonable options like the $38 pair of leather, snakeskin print pants I couldn't leave behind.
A Late Night Tour
When I travel solo to a new city, I usually skip the nightlife because I like to play it safe and do what my mom taught me, "You better be in this house when those street lights come on." But, thanks to Griselle and her tour, I was able to get an authentic experience of the nightlife in San Juan. Be sure to pack comfy shoes because there is a lot of walking, but the bars you go to and street art you see are well worth it.
Moni & Coli
As I was walking down Calle Loiza, I saw a cute little boutique and stopped in. This shop was also a sister-run business owned by Mónica and Nichole Oyola. What made this modern, well-decorated boutique special were the local vendors they carry in their shop like jewelry designer, Michelle Llavona.
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Featured image by Sheriden Chanel/Instagram
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Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
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She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
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Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
Contentment. By definition, it’s the state of not only being “satisfied with what one is or has” but also “not wanting more or anything else.” And you know what? Although it might not be a popular aspiration of many, it is a sign of spiritual maturity on certain levels. After all, it is the Apostle Paul who once said, “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content…” (Philippians 4:19 — NKJV).
Being content is about not complaining. Being content is about learning to be comfortable in your present circumstances. Being content is about choosing to find joy and fulfillment, on some level, and in some way, on a daily basis.
Personally, I dig all of this so much because when you have mastered true inner contentment, it creates stability, self-awareness, and a type of resilience that makes you…shoot, powerful beyond measure, if you ask me. Because when someone knows how to “find the good” and “make peace,” regardless of what is going on around them, they truly are unstoppable. Yeah, on so many levels, contentment is the ultimate life hack. It’s something that each and every one of us should aspire to become: completely and genuinely content.
Thanksgiving is basically moments away at this point. In preparation for that time of self-reflection, pour yourself a glass of wine, turn on some soft music, sit on your coach, and then ask yourself, “Am I content?” If you’re not sure (or you need the definition unpacked for you just a bit more), here are seven signs that you may not be…and yet, there is no time like the present to do something about it.
1. You’re Super Impatient
GiphyHonestly, putting another Scripture right here could be all that is needed in order to bring this point to a swift and abrupt end. Which one? I Corinthians 13, the Love Chapter, starts off with “Love is patient” (I Corinthians 13:4). Yeah, if you want to know if you love yourself and love yourself well, how patient are you…including with yourself? Throughout the years, I have shared one of my favorite definitions of "patient" in several different articles: “bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like.” For me, it’s a blaring reminder that mastering patience isn’t just about waiting (more on that in a sec); it’s about waiting with grace.
Content people can do this because, on some level, they know how to apply the John Piper quote, "God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them." Another way of looking at this is people who can wait well — without complaining or getting annoyed by delays or challenges in the meantime — get that in order for things to truly come together, there are lots of moving parts…some that they don’t even know about. And so, if they want the best outcome, yes, waiting well is oftentimes not just involved; it is required.
Impatient people don’t get any of this. That’s why they are so stressed out all of the time.
2. You’re Worried About Things You Can’t Control
GiphyThis. Past. Election. Chile. And then the cabinet that that man is putting together as we speak? I don’t even want to get my blood pressure up, expounding on it. Let me just pivot by adding one more Scripture — because it is beyond fitting: “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34 — NKJV)
Although worrying is something that pretty much everyone does at one point or another, one of my favorite quotes on it is by an American humorist by the name of Erma Bombeck: “Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” And really, when you stop to really think about worrying, isn’t that the truth? For one thing, all worrying does, by definition, is cause you to torment yourself by focusing on things that aren’t even going to happen (somewhere between 85-90 percent of the time, in fact; there is actually a science on that) or trying to control things that are beyond your control.
If being a worry wart is your internal struggle, my advice would be to look at life this way: If you’re worried that you’re about to get written up for getting to work late again, leave your house earlier — you can control that. On the other hand, if you’re worried that you’re going to get laid off before the holiday season ends, so long as you’ve been doing your best (which is also something that you can control), please put your energy elsewhere because that is something that you can’t control.
And I promise that when you choose to be calm and confident over worrying yourself to death, that can help you to manage what you can’t control so much easier. Oh, and your health will thank you, too, because worry is attached to things like insomnia, muscle tension, headaches, overeating, and drinking too much. All this over things that probably won’t happen in the first place? Yeah, sis…(choose to) relax.
And by choosing to chill out, there is some contentment that follows because you will see the good as much as, if not more than, the potential bad. Trust me.
3. The Past and/or Future Consume You
GiphyOn the heels of the Scripture that I just provided for the previous point, it also applies to this one. You know, back when I was doing some intentional research on forgiveness, I always appreciated the insight of author Gary Zukav: “Forgiveness is accepting that the past cannot change.” While this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t hold people accountable for what they have done, it does help you to be compassionate with those who are truly sorry (check out “Heads Up: It's NOT An Apology If An Amend Isn't Made”) because, no matter what has transpired between you and them, one thing they can’t do is go back into a time machine and change it.
And you know what? When it comes to the mistakes — or, let’s be real, sometimes they are conscious poor decisions — you have made, you can’t either. So, why let their misdeeds or your own consume you to the point of internally destroying you?
Then there’s the future. What if you get robbed? What if your mom gets cancer? What if your husband files for divorce? Girl, if you are caught up in the future that hasn’t even happened yet, you are definitely gonna drive yourself up the wall! And this is why so many mental health experts and platforms are all about encouraging individuals to live in the moment. You can do this by meditating, taking breaks from social media (and the news), journaling, doing things that you enjoy (instead of waiting to put them off), and resting.
Listen, one of the best things about choosing to only focus on the here and now is you can find little things about it to be content with — and that helps you to be/become more content overall.
4. You Always Think About Wanting More
GiphyAlthough it certainly wasn’t my plan for this piece to be so Scripture-heavy, I’ve got to flow with what immediately comes to mind and, for this point, the verse, “So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain; It takes away the life of its owners” (Proverbs 1:19 — NKJV) is it. And just what does it mean to be greedy? A greedy individual isn’t just low-key obsessed with getting and having more — please catch it — they are also quite EAGER.
Eager folks also tend to be impatient. Eager folks are perceived by others as being very intense (and not in a good way). More times than not, eager folks haven’t really mastered how to take a moment to appreciate what they do have because all they care about is what’s next. And when you’re in a state of that kind of, well, anxiety…how could it not affect your quality of life? I mean, really.
And what if you read all of that and said, “I’m not greedy; I’m just ambitious” — listen, there is nothing wrong with having goals and wanting to obtain them. However, an ambitious individual knows how to find balance. If they get a promotion, they will schedule a vacation to celebrate it. If they just got a new car, they are not in a rush to get a new house until they can financially afford it. If they were just proposed to with a really nice ring, they aren’t hounding their new fiancé about setting a date within the next two weeks.
People who always want more, without taking the time to enjoy what they already have, are never going to be content. Why? Because there is always something else that you can want…even if you don’t need it or it really isn’t the time for it. Meanwhile, content people get that it’s a good thing to not go after everything all of the time; that it’s far wiser to embrace what is already before them — because some folks don’t even have…that.
5. You Compare Yourself to Others
GiphySomething that I actually get asked fairly often is, do I feel “some type of way” that I do so much work in the realm of marriage when I’ve never been married myself. The short answer is “absolutely not” because I know that I could’ve been married, a few times over, at this point; however, I am just as intentional about not wanting to be divorced as I am about being in a healthy marriage, not just “a marriage.”
I’m grateful to be in that head and heart space too; otherwise, I would be out here comparing myself to other people — and there is nothing good, healthy, wise, profitable, or beneficial about doing that. In fact, science isn’t a fan of playing the “keeping up with the Joneses” game, either.
According to science, that can ultimately do things like lower your self-esteem, cause you to only see the bad/negative things in your world (in comparison to other people), and it can jack up your perception of what’s really going on with other people. For instance, if you’re 33 and comparing yourself to your friends who are already married and parents, you might want to talk to them about what their day-to-day, beyond their IG posts, is like.
Because while prayerfully, their life is filled with many blessings, if they are being totally honest with you, they will also share that you’ve got some “pros” to your life too (honey, there are some real benefits to being single; check out “If You're Not In Love With Being Single, Ask Yourself These 6 Questions.,” “10 Bona Fide Benefits Of Being Single,” and “10 Words That'll Make You Totally Rethink The Word 'Single'”). Content people get that every season does — because it’s true.
6. You Don’t Verbalize Gratitude Often
GiphyThere is someone in my world who I actually try to avoid as much as possible. It’s not that she’s not smart, and honestly, she’s one of the funniest individuals that I’ve ever known (and I’ve known her for most of my adult life). It’s just that…she is always wanting something, and I find that to make her a very draining individual. Lawd, even as I am typing all of this out, I’m trying to recall a time when I’ve heard her say, “thank you” for something (no joke), let alone express any form of genuine gratitude. She’s just got such a sense of entitlement that whatever she does receive, she thinks she’s owed and what she doesn’t have, she believes that something is wrong if it hasn’t arrived yet. Geeze, what a horrible type of existence.
You don’t have to take my word for it either because there is plenty of data out here to support that people who don’t take the time to be grateful for what they have ended up being unhappy, more stressed out, in more physical pain (yes, literally) and definitely more negative than everyone else — which would explain why people don’t like hanging out with them as much.
So, since this is the time when gratitude is the theme of the season, think about what you are grateful for when it comes to what you’ve accomplished this year, then write it down and post it up somewhere. Then, as far as the individuals, for whom you are grateful for — send them a handwritten note, get them a gift card to their favorite coffee shop, or even just call to tell them.
One of the most beautiful things about being in a state of contentment is it reminds you of a lot of what you already have. It really is enough…for now…in this very moment.
7. Being (and Living) Satisfied Is a Foreign Concept to You
Giphy“Tubi movies” really is a complete sentence. LOL. And yes, sometimes, when I’m taking a writing break, I will check out some of the most…I-wouldn’t-normally ones, just to lend my support. In walks Never Satisfied with its own self-explanatory meaning. Y’all, it really is oh so true that there are folks out here dealing with some unpredictable and sometimes even truly dire consequences — and it’s all because they didn’t know how to sit down somewhere and learn how to be satisfied with the people, places, things, and ideas that they already have.
That said, I am indeed a quotes gal, and one of my favorites on the topic of satisfaction is by actor Christopher Reeve: “Success is finding satisfaction in giving a little more than you take,” and although I don’t do what I’m about to do often (because I try to take Matthew 6:1-4 very literally and seriously), I’m going to illustrate what he said about satisfaction by sharing a recent situation.
This past week, a nurse practitioner (I prefer those to doctors) diagnosed me with wrist tendonitis for the first time in my life. If you knew how many keystrokes that I do a day, you’d probably be shocked that it took this long. Anyway, as I was waiting in line to get a prescription, a young Black man was basically freaking out because his insurance was refusing to cover his own meds. According to what he was telling the pharmacist, he always only pays $5; however, this time, they were charging $62, he simply didn’t have it, and the insurance company was not picking up.
As I watched him shaking and sweating while saying that he really needed it today and fretting while talking to his mom on the phone, I offered to cover it — and after going back and forth with him for about three minutes, I did. In my mind, although I didn’t plan on spending about $85 (total) that day, the little inconvenience that it was costing me was nothing in comparison to how much it was going to benefit him — I could tell from how he and his mother reacted (even the pharmacist mouthed “thank you so much”), and that is what made it money well spent.
To help someone who had no way of helping themselves in the moment? That brought me a lot of satisfaction because it’s nice to lighten someone’s load while leaving it to karma to handle it. ALL OF IT.
And that’s why I thought it was best to wrap all of this up with a reminder that being satisfied is being content. And when you can be so satisfied with your life that you want to help others? That is a level of contentment that is truly unmatched because you start looking for ways to bless others simply so that they can feel just as content as you do.
____
Our culture? It really is never satisfied, which explains why a lot of people are so miserable. SMDH. You don’t have to be like the masses, though. This Thanksgiving, please purpose in your mind (and heart) to be(come) more content. It will make you a rare gem that benefits everyone and everything around you.
Including yourself, sis. No doubt about it.
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Originally published on November 28, 2024