Puerto Rico has been at the top of my list of places to visit over the last couple of years — mainly because I wanted to support the US Territory, post-hurricane Maria. Puerto Rico has been in the news because of their protest of Gov. Ricardo Rossello, who was caught sending hundreds of pages of sexist, homophobic, inhumane messages including texts joking about the many citizens who lost their lives during Hurricane Maria. As of today, the Governor has finally resigned effective August 2nd.
When I visited Puerto Rico, I could feel the pride and resilience of the people, and their successful twelve-day protest proves it. Though more than 76% of Puerto Rican's identified as white, Puerto Rico is mixed and has African roots. In fact, one of its most popular dishes, Mofongo, is a green plantain mash that is served topped with a protein like chicken or seafood, which is derived from the West and Central African, fufu. To learn more about this history, you'll want to stop in Piñones in Loiza and take a tour with Derek. Loíza was where African slaves (of Yoruba descent) were forced to live and work by the Spanish colonizers during the slave trade.
Since Hurricane Maria, Puerto Rico has made major strides and is ready and opening their arms to tourists to experience their sunshine-filled, cultural mecca.
Here is where I stayed, ate, shopped, danced, and learned in San Juan:
Where To Stay:
Casa Los Cummins
I can thank Hotel Tonight for introducing me to this eight-bedroom B&B run by fashion designer turned home designer, Lucy Cummins. The bright decor and home-like energy of the space were two of my favorite things about staying there — not to mention the location is close to most everything you'll want to see in San Juan. Casa Los Cummins also offers a complimentary breakfast with cereal, eggs, toast, and coffee (or tea).
The Dreamcatcher
Settled in Ocean Park, the nine-room, three-suite hotel is an ideal getaway for true rest and relaxation. I stayed at the The Dreamcatcher for three days in their Sanctuary room which included private outdoor facilities decked out with an outdoor shower. The property offered daily beachside yoga and meditation classes along with breakfast and brunch serving up vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free options to its guests. What I loved even more about the property is that the beach is in our backyard within a two-minute walk from the hotel.
Caribe Hilton
The Caribe Hilton has been a San Juan staple for seventy years and has just reopened its doors after a multi-million dollar restoration initiative. With six oceanfront view pools, a private beach, and a swim-up bar — you won't have to leave the property for beach days.
Where To Eat:
Bebo's Cafe
Bebo's was recommended to me by a Puerto Rican native. If you get a chance to stop by, tell Eduardo I sent you and don't forget to have the crab Mofongo with a side of sangria.
Birria & Empanadas
Located in Old San Juan, the small bar serves cocktails with empanadas you won't want to pass up. I suggest the chorizo or chicken.
Casita Miramar
Casita Miramar was one of my best dining experiences in San Juan. The service was excellent. My whole snapper and seasonal rose apple mojito were my perfect last meal before departing the island.
Double Cake
Double Cake was another option recommended to me by a local. Double Cake is one of many woman-owned businesses in the walkable Calle Loiza in Santurce. Coffee- and sweets- lovers alike will get their fix. The bakery is known for its assortment of cupcakes, but I went for the pecan layered cake. I think it was the southern gal in me that made me go for that choice.
El Nie Bar
Okay, this isn't quite a restaurant as it is more like a dive bar, but the spicy salmon empanadas were so tasty I would take a special trip back to the island to have a bite of one.
Hecho En Casa
Steak mofongo with a side of cabbage and a mojito
Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Located in Old San Juan, this restaurant with its open windows and inviting staff touts offering a traditional approach to Puerto Rican cuisine. The island's staple mofongo is served here but in an open-faced take that is reminiscent of a pot pie and oh-so-delicious. They also have my favorite mojito of all time. And you can't leave without a shot of Gran Anejo rum, which if you didn't know is THE Puerto Rican rum (fun fact: Bacardi rum is actually Cuban despite having a distillery there). It hits different when you're actually in San Juan, trust.
What To Do:
El Yunque National Forest
You can't go to Puerto Rico without visiting one of its most regarded natural treasures, the El Yunque National Forest. While Puerto Rico is known for its beautiful beaches and water activities, El Yunque deserves just as much love. The tropical rainforest expands to about 29,000 acres and its vast beauty can be uncovered either alone or one of many excursions the island has to offer.
La Placita
This famed nightlife spot has been around for over 100 years and is the Thursday night hangout for people to let their inhibitions go and dance the night away. Imagine a block party times one thousand. La Placita made my trip to Puerto Rico one I'll never forget. I danced to music I knew from my hometown (The Migos and Lil Nas X were on blast) and shook my hips to Reggaeton classics and new additions from Puerto Rico's own Bad Bunny. Even though there were thousands of people bouncing from club to club (I don't like crowds), I never felt unsafe.
Esquina El Watusi
El Watusi
This is a local hangout where people spill out into the street with their Medalla Light, talk with their friends, and salsa dance the night away with live music as their soundtrack.
La Factoria
La Factoria is the Saturday night hotspot, and since my flight was out at 6 pm that day, I missed experiencing it firsthand. The nightlife spot has nearly a five-star rating on Yelp and lives up to what co-founder Roberto Berdecia hoped for, "We intended to create a space that will help elevate the Puerto Rican cocktail industry and take it to another level so that the country would gain worldwide recognition." If you're a whiskey drinker, the spiced old fashion seems to be a universal crowd-pleaser.
Get Photos With A Tour On The Side
Raul Lopez Mestres
When I reached out to Raul about his Street Art Photo + Walk, it was a long shot because his Airbnb Experience is usually sold out, but I was lucky, and he made room for me. We walked the streets of Santurce, took photos, and talked about what it means to be creative with loads of student loan debt (relatable, right?).
Johnny & June
To be honest, I hadn't given much thought to shopping while I was in Puerto Rico, but I'm glad I did. I started Googling and stumbled across a sister-run vintage shop in the Santurce district. They had vintage Moschino pieces and more reasonable options like the $38 pair of leather, snakeskin print pants I couldn't leave behind.
A Late Night Tour
When I travel solo to a new city, I usually skip the nightlife because I like to play it safe and do what my mom taught me, "You better be in this house when those street lights come on." But, thanks to Griselle and her tour, I was able to get an authentic experience of the nightlife in San Juan. Be sure to pack comfy shoes because there is a lot of walking, but the bars you go to and street art you see are well worth it.
Moni & Coli
As I was walking down Calle Loiza, I saw a cute little boutique and stopped in. This shop was also a sister-run business owned by Mónica and Nichole Oyola. What made this modern, well-decorated boutique special were the local vendors they carry in their shop like jewelry designer, Michelle Llavona.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Everything To See, Eat & Do In Havana
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Featured image by Sheriden Chanel/Instagram
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Bianca Lambert is a proud Atlanta native soaking up the Los Angeles sun. She is the founder of Mae B: a stationery company for women of color and a digital content creator on a mission to elevate the voices of women of color everywhere.
The Final Mercury Retrograde Of 2024 Is Here—How This Bold Energy Will Shift Your Perspective
The final Mercury retrograde of the year arrives this month, and this is an opportunity to close one chapter and prepare for a new one. Mercury retrogrades are the time of the year when you take a step back, assess where your life currently is, and be a little more flexible with how things are playing out for you. When Mercury is in retrograde, miscommunications and misdirections are more likely; however, this isn’t the time to fear where you are headed; it’s more about looking at things from a different perspective right now.
Mercury enters Sagittarius on November 2, will be retrograde from Nov. 25 until Dec. 15, and will be in this sign until Jan. 8, 2025. Mercury in Sagittarius is bold and outspoken but, in retrograde, can come across as impulsive and brash. Thinking before speaking is important right now, and so is considering your values and interests before committing to something new. Since Sagittarius rules long-distance travel, this isn’t the best time to plan a new trip or to rush the ones already in place.
Consider where you want to be, and take your time getting there.
What to Expect from Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius
A little more than a week after Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, Mars goes retrograde in Leo. With these important transits happening in fire signs, energy can be misdirected right now. It’s about looking at the full picture and not overwhelming yourself with too many options or interests. Take your passions and align them with your heart and willpower, without confusing inspiration with ego. Emotions are running high, yet this activation is creating a breakthrough in personal development before the year ends.
Read below to see how this Mercury retrograde transit will be for you. Read for your sun sign and rising sign.
Your Sun Sign and Rising Sign Horoscopes for Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius
ARIES
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and you are focused on the bigger picture right now, Aries. With Mercury retrograde in your 9th house of adventure over the next few weeks, this is the time to expect the unexpected and to go at your own pace. Don’t rush the clarity that is meant to bloom for you right now, and take things one day at a time.
Even if you don’t have all the answers you need right now, there are still some important truths and insights to gain. You are in the process of reinventing yourself and your life, and the universe is helping you get the space in order to do so. If you are traveling over the next few weeks, remember to be flexible and to go over plans thoroughly.
TAURUS
Mercury goes retrograde, and you enter a time of change and rebirth, Taurus. This transit, for you, is an opportunity to gain balance, perspective, and empowerment. Your commitments and close partnerships are being addressed right now, and you are seeing where your needs are being met and where they aren’t. You are on a journey of letting go and allowing more, and this is the time to focus on being more flexible rather than controlling outcomes.
This retrograde could also be affecting your shared finances and earnings, and this is a good time to take another look at the money coming in and the money going out and make sure things are in order here. Trust your intuition right now, Taurus.
GEMINI
Mercury goes retrograde in your sister sign, Sagittarius, and you are ready for a fresh perspective in love. This retrograde will highlight your 7th house of partnership, connection, romance, and inner harmony, and your heart is figuring things out right now. Confusion or disagreements are more likely within your relationship dynamics, and this is the time to address what your partnerships need.
If you have been feeling out of balance when it comes to love, then this is the time to get things back on track.
This Mercury retrograde is helping you gain a new perspective and reminds you that you deserve the love you are looking for. Use this time to forgive, grow, and use better judgment regarding matters of the heart and the relationships you are building in your life right now.
Coveteur
CANCER
This Mercury retrograde transit for you is a chance to gain some renewed clarity regarding your health, well-being, and work life. You could be feeling more pressure to perform and have it all together on the job, and there is a need to delegate, let go, and take care of your health more right now, Cancer.
This transit will highlight where some cracks are seeping, where you may need to build stronger foundations and healthier daily routines, and also how you can manage a better work/life balance. Your daily lifestyle may feel a little more difficult to find consistency in right now, and this is because new avenues and perspectives are waiting for you to grab ahold of. Overall, use this time to listen to your inner voice and do more of what feels right for you and your body.
LEO
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and this transit highlights your 5th house of romance, creativity, passion, and happiness, Leo. This retrograde is an opportunity for you to address what and who makes you happy and how you can show up more for these fortunate experiences in your life. You are looking at if you’ve been making your happiness as much of a priority as it should be this year and also taking a look at what sources help you align with that energy altogether.
This time is about being a little bit more flexible, doing things differently, and being open to a new perspective. Relationship developments are also providing your heart more clarity right now, and you are balancing your needs with the needs of your partnerships and creative ventures.
VIRGO
Your ruling planet Mercury goes retrograde before the year ends, and this is helping you rebuild your foundations, Virgo. Mercury will be retrograde in an area of your life that has to do with your home, history, family, and emotional stability- and you are getting a new grasp on things here.
Where you have been planting your seeds and building for your future are coming up for review during this time, and you are gaining clarity on which of these foundations is stable enough to continue to build upon. You could be feeling less secure than you would like to right now, and this change of pace is helping you reassess your goals and figure out what is worth it for you and the legacy you want to live.
Coveteur
LIBRA
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and the focus turns towards your communication channels, Libra. Mercury retro is already a more chaotic time when it comes to communication, and with this retrograde also happening in your 3rd house of insight and communication, you may feel this heaviness a little more right now.
This transit, for you, is about taking your time getting your message across, being patient while traveling and running errands, and giving yourself space to gain some new clarity.
Meditation, journaling, and talking to someone who can support you are therapeutic, and know that your voice deserves to be heard. You are looking at ways you can take up more space and show up in the world without letting your insecurities keep you away from true connection, vulnerability, and understanding.
SCORPIO
This Mercury retrograde is happening in your 2nd house of income, values, assets, and self-confidence, and you are taking a step back to assess your current reality, especially financially, Scorpio. This is a good time to go over your spending habits and earnings, to find greater balance here, and to think about some of your financial goals moving forward.
Look at your resources, skills, and talents, and make sure what you are receiving is equal to or greater than what you have been giving. Less is more right now, and this isn’t the best time to overspend or overindulge, as you need more time to grasp your current stance on things, and how to increase your overall wealth and abundance.
SAGITTARIUS
With this Mercury retrograde happening in your sign, it’s hitting a little closer to home for you, Sagittarius. This is a good time to refine your goals and direction in life and how you want to show up right now. You deserve to be able to change your mind when you need to, and you are thinking about some of the things you have done and what you want to do moving forward.
Miscommunications are more likely while Mercury is in retrograde, but you can use this as a source of empowerment, knowing that you are living in your truth and allowing yourself room to grow in the process. Remember to be a little kinder to yourself during this transit and to give yourself the grace you need right now.
Coveteur
CAPRICORN
This Mercury retrograde for you, Capricorn, is about rest and taking care of your emotional world. You are being given the opportunity to spend more time alone, to gather your strength, and to heal before you enter the new year. A lot has happened, and there have been many changes in your world this year. This Mercury retrograde is here to help you find acceptance and closure.
You are in a preparation stage right now, and things can feel a little more lonesome in this energy, but with a different perspective, you can see just how much of this space your heart truly needs right now. The past is coming up for you to see things in a new light, and you are ready to gain some renewed insight, closure, and healing.
AQUARIUS
This Mercury retrograde highlights your friendships, community, and your hopes and dreams, Aquarius. You are being reminded of the importance of connection, but more significantly, of good connections. You are looking at who and what surrounds you right now and gaining clarity on whether this energy matches who you are and the things that you stand for.
Your social circle and the people around you are shifting as the power dynamics do, and you are finding your place and purpose amidst this change. It’s about identifying who and what makes you feel good and aligning things in your life to bring in more of that energy. Don’t be discouraged right now; find your people and ask for support.
PISCES
Your career and ambitions are the focus during this Mercury retrograde, Pisces. You have a lot to address here, and you are gathering your skills and talents and reminding yourself that you are worthy of your dreams. Miscommunications and setbacks are more likely within your professional world, but they are here to ask you if what you are striving for, is really what you need right now.
You are thinking a lot about how you show up in the world, what you want to be known for, and what successes you still want to obtain. This isn’t the time to let anyone’s idea or vision of you define who you are; rather, define that for yourself. Show up as you want to be seen, and don’t count yourself out right now, Pisces.
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As I approach 30 next year, it’s safe to say I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs in the dating world, especially as a Black woman. Like many of you, I spent my 20s navigating a sea of advice that, in a lot of ways, contradicted each other. Some of the words of wisdom I stumbled across were empowering, while other advice seemed one-sided, but the majority of the “relationship takes” I received left me feeling more confused than ever.
From books such as Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Man, the infamous relationship quizzes, analyzing zodiac signs, contradicting articles, and removal prayers to trusted friends and family members, I have tried it all, and some of you can probably say the same.
We have all been told to play the cool girl role, waiting for the right man to pursue you, or following tips about “never texting first.” On the other hand, some of you were taught to approach dating, like Gabrielle Union in Deliver Us From Eva.
Unfortunately, some of us have even crashed out over a man, possibly more than once, often left with feeling misunderstood, disrespected, and humiliated. Then the cycle continues of going to the internet search bar to see where everything went wrong.
With YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, X, and Chat GPT available at the touch of a button, it’s easy to get a million different viewpoints about navigating love as a Black woman. Unfortunately, a lot of this advice can come from narrow-minded viewpoints that come with a “one size fits all” approach.
On one hand an "online dating expert" can say act mysterious, while another says to be upfront about what you want. Some may say, “wait for the right person to come along,” while others urge me to take charge and “make things happen.”
In other words, there was no consistency, and worse, the advice didn’t feel tailored to me as a Black woman. Not just while navigating dating but everything that comes with it, from societal expectations to stereotypes. It all left me feeling stuck until now.
What I’ve learned in my 29 years of life so far is it’s not about a set of rules. It’s about finding guidance that speaks to you specifically as a Black woman. This is what led me to write this article because, after all the trial and error, I’ve finally found online dating coaches who truly get it.
They understand the unique experiences, challenges, and strengths that come with being a Black woman in the dating world. These three coaches don’t offer generic advice; they offer insights that help you build healthy relationships on your own terms without compromising your identity.
In this post, we are sharing some of the top dating coaches in the game I’ve come across who focus on empowering Black women and women of color. Each one tackles the unique challenges we face as Black women from different angles, offering guidance that goes beyond the surface level. Whether it’s unpacking societal pressures, navigating confidence and body image, healing from childhood wounds, or walking away from toxic patterns, these coaches bring clarity to the confusion. Here’s who made the cut.
Second Runner-Up: Kindall D. (Mindset & Intuitive Coach)
Whether you’re in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, or beyond, you have to heal from within before trying to date anyone. This is why the “Top 3” spot goes to Coach Kindall D., who is all about walking away from toxic patterns and building confidence.
With a following of 136K, Kindall D. is a mindset and intuitive coach with a community called “I've Been That Girl Too.” She focuses on helping women heal from past relationships, how to recognize toxic patterns, and uses her own personal relationship stories to relate to her community.
With a calm demeanor and non-judgmental space, she shares short-form videos and quotes about knowing when to walk away, navigating dating with an anxious attachment style, avoiding “projects in love,” and beyond.
I think one of her best videos is ‘How to Know He’s Safe.’ Too many times, as Black women, we see videos that are always painting men in a negative light. Such as knowing how to spot the red flags. This isn’t necessarily bad, but it leaves you more guarded and less open to healthy relationships in the future. This could possibly lead to resentment and becoming overly independent.
Ladies, here is how to spot a safe man, according to Kindall D. “If you are able to assert a boundary in the beginning while talking to them and they don’t treat you differently or their interest in you doesn't dissipate, then you know that means they’re safe. Also, it means they’re emotionally mature.
Another way to know he’s safe is when he does what he says he’s going to do, no matter how small. Lastly, if he’s interested in getting to know you [beyond the physical]. In other words, he gives you compliments about who you are [at the core] rather than just your appearance.”
First Runner-Up: Tisia Xiare Vere (Confidence & Relationship Coach)
Sometimes, with relationship advice, sugarcoating the truth is not going to cut it. This is why the “Top 2” spot goes to Coach Tisia, who is all about confidence and clarity in dating.
Her content consistently goes viral, and she is known for her no-nonsense, satirical approach to relationships. She basically uses humor to uplift her community while also reminding them to set boundaries.
Earlier content as a creator consisted of Tisia using clips of the animal kingdom during mating season. The video clips would show the male animals chasing the female animals and relate it back to real-life dating scenarios.
Later on, Tisia started posting more videos about relationships and asking a series of questions that would have you think twice if you were being delusional or logical in the dating world.
One of her best videos consisted of her pulling out some questions from a live Q+A about “How to Get A Man to Like You Again.”
As a Black woman, we may often feel the need to prove ourselves or overly exert ourselves in relationships. This could possibly stem from childhood, but this video shuts down that relationship approach swiftly. Her clown-filtered thumbnail sets up the video perfectly, with a plot twist at the end.
Now, if you aren’t here for a reality check, Tisia also has a group chat and personal 1-on-1 coaching if you are looking for a softer approach to the truth.
The Winner: Anwar White (Dating and Relationship Coach)
If you are ready to take things a step further in your relationship journey and truly look within, then your fairy godbrother, Coach Anwar, is here to save the day.
Anwar takes the No. 1 spot because he tackles topics about childhood wounds, image, who to date based on your personality type, how to date Black men, how to date outside of your race, and more. The best part is he coaches you on how to maintain your dignity and stay true to yourself.
He provides somewhat of a cheat code that actually works in real life. No mind games, no empty advice, but he truly looks at things from a qualitative and quantitative approach to assist you along your dating journey.
His series of videos touch on very specific topics rather than vague innuendos that make you feel more confident in dating. A personal favorite of mine would be his video on “Dating Complements.” In a nutshell, the type of man that would complement you best based on your personality type.
According to Anwar, “Type A boss babes need the optimistic golden retriever guy. This is the engineer or the federal employee. Very much black cat, golden retriever vibes. The nice girl needs the tradesmen, such as the plumbers and construction men. They will be the physical, and you will be the heart and spirit. Anxious girls need the quiet introverted guy that is in tech or even veterinarians. Their quiet confidence will calm you.
If you are the momma bear, you need the needy guy. The musician, the artist, the entrepreneur, and the politician. If you are a social butterfly, you need the non-social gamer guy such as IT guys or accountants. If you are a party girl, you might attract an overprotective guy such as a banker, lawyer, or consultant.
Lastly, if you are the romantic girl, the complement that works is more athletic. That’s why the English teachers always have a crush on the PE teachers. This would be the coaches, athletes, military men, police, and firefighters.
For me personally, Coach Anwar helps take away the stress from dating and stops you from dating with a scarcity mindset. He helps you narrow down the search and empowers you in the process.
After reaching out directly to see why he decided to become a dating coach, he sent this video back as his reason “why”:
Now, whether you’re just beginning to heal, looking for a wake-up call, or diving deep into unpacking societal pressures, these coaches are here to guide you with clarity and compassion.
Each coach has weekly content to assist you, but your love story starts with the work you’re willing to do within. With the right guidance and a little patience with yourself, you're bound to attract the love you deserve with ease.