I don’t care what anyone says when it comes to a sign of aging that you are never fully prepared for; it’s got to be the first time you catch sight of gray hair — I don’t mean one that’s on your head (although that can be a bit of a trip too); I mean, when one creeps up in your pubic region. I remember the first time I got wind of one of my own. Whew, chile.
And don’t even get me started on how my waxer won’t let me forget the fact that now I have more than just a couple of ‘em, which is wild because the gray hairs on my head are still pretty minimal…all things considered. And althoughgenetics and good old-fashioned aging are the biggest causes for what makes our hair go from its original color to silver, gray, or white, I was actually surprised to learn there are several other health-related factors that can have our pubes going lighter (especiallyif it’s sooner or at an accelerated pace).
If you’re curious to know what those things are, here are the seven leading ones.
1. A Fungal Infection
GiphyIf you’ve never heard ofWhite Piedra before, consider it to be your “something new” for the day. Basically, it’s a type of fungal infection that directly affects your hair shaft to the point where it looks like you have pearly nodules that are all over your hair strands.Some other symptoms of this infection are your hair will end up feeling dry, brittle, and gritty and your scalp might feel painful or really itchy. Although this infection can show up anywhere hair grows, it’s most “popular” when it comes to eyebrows and eyelashes, mustaches and beards, and yes, where your pubic hair grows.
And y’all, while Google wants you to think that you can self-diagnose and cure everything on the planet if you sense that you could have this in your pubic hair, it’s best to get a confirmation from your doctor. A prescription-based shampoo or oral medication may be needed to thoroughly remove it.
2. A Vitamin B12 Deficiency
GiphyA nutrient that’s essential when it comes to keeping your nerves and red blood cells in good condition is vitamin B12. Some signs that you’re not getting as much of it in your system as you should are unexplainable fatigue, a loss of appetite, weight loss, vision issues, and feeling irritable.
Know what else lets you know that you need to get more B12 into your body? Yep, you guessed it: gray hair, including gray pubic ones. Since B12 helps to keep your red blood cells thriving, when there’s not enough of it in your system, that means your hair follicles can end up becoming malnourished — and that can reduce how much melanin they produce.
That’s why it’s a good idea to have a diet that’s filled with vitamin B12-enriched foods like tuna, salmon, fortified cereals, yogurt, and eggs, and, if need be, that you take a B12 supplement as well.
3. An Imbalanced Thyroid
GiphyWhether you’re dealing withhypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) or hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid), they both can result in premature graying. That’s becausewhen your thyroid isn’t as balanced as it should be, that can affect not only the growth cycle of your tresses, it can impact how much melanin is produced, too. So, if your pubic hair seems suddenly whiteand you’ve got signs of hypothyroidism (fatigue, constipation, dry skin, muscle weakness, and/or an irregular period) or hyperthyroidism (increased heart rate, weak nails, restlessness, increased appetite, and/or more than usual bowel movements) — don’t underestimate any of this. Speak with your physician so that they can figure out exactly what is going on.
4. Vitiligo
GiphySomething that you may have never considered to be a reason for gray pubic hair isthe skin condition vitiligo. Yet, when you stop to consider that it’s what happens when your skin starts to lose its pigment in noticeable amounts, it makes all of the sense in the world. Although research continues to be ongoing, what we know for sure isvitiligo is a chronic autoimmune disorder that oftentimes can be more managed than actually “cured;” however, there are a variety of treatments available, from creams and oral medications to light therapy and surgical procedures.
Since white patches on the skin, loss of pigment in your mucous membranes, and premature graying are all symptoms of vitiligo, if you’re noticing all three of these things happening at once, make an appointment to meet with your doctor as soon as possible.
5. Pubic Lice
GiphyIf you’ve ever heard that Black people don’t get lice, the truth is a bit less — pardon the pun — black and white than that.The fact is that, although it can be more challenging for lice to grasp onto our tighter curls (when our hair is in its natural state) and the hair products that we use can oftentimes cause lice to slip off before making a (temporary home), don’t sleep — we can still get it; and not just on our heads.
When it’s lice in your pubes, the “street name” for it is crabs. Although they have a reputation for being an STD, the reality is they aren’t. Crabs are tiny insects that can be transmitted through sexual contact; however, you can get them in other ways as well. It’s also important to know that crabs can show up on hair that grows on the chest, armpits, facial hair, eyebrows, and eyelids, and the symptoms include extreme itchiness, irritated skin, discolored spots on your thighs, abdomen, and buttocks, a low-grade fever and small white dots (which are actually lice eggs…chile).
If any of this is going on, make an appointment with your doctor. If they confirm that pubic lice is what’s happening, they will provide you with a list of things that you must do over the next 10 days or so. Oh, and they might recommend that you get tested for STDs…just to be on the safe side (because if someone is having sex with you while ignoring a lice problem, there’s no telling what else they may have going on…feel me?).
6. Smoking
GiphyAt this point, who doesn’t know that smoking (tobacco) is absolutely not a good idea? When it comes to your hair, specifically,smoking is problematic because it negatively affects blood circulation to your scalp, it can stagnate your hair growth cycles, it may cause your hair follicles to become inflamed, it can potentially make your hair dry and brittle — and yes, it can result in premature graying. A part of the reason is thatnicotine has the ability to actually cause build-up on your hair follicles. When that happens, it can result in a loss of hair pigmentation…even in the genital region. Just one more solid reason to quit if smoking is your thing.
7. Stress
GiphyIf someone has ever told you that you’re giving them gray hair, as the old saying goes,there is truth in all humor. Although you might’ve always chalked it up to being nothing more than a very popular myth,stress can indeed cause your hair to lose its natural pigment. That’s because, when you are stressed out, your system releases a chemical called norepinephrine. When it enters into your hair follicles, it “attacks” your melanocyte stem cells which is where your natural hair color resides. So, if you’ve got more than a few gray pubes popping up all of a sudden — pause and ponder how much stress you’ve got going on. Believe it or not, that could actually be the culprit.
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The reason why this type of article was important to write is the reality is we can learn a lot about our health via our hair — yes, even our pubic hair. If, at the end of the day, yours is the result of nothing more than time doing its thing,you can always dye it or remove your hair altogether. Or you can make peace with your gray pubes like I’ve chosen to do.
I mean, my waxer (and my mirror when I do my vaginal self-exams) says that she’s fly with some salt ‘n pepper. Who am I to debate the truth? #Elmoshrug
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert