In xoNecole's Dope Abodes, we tour the living spaces of millennial women, where they dwell, how they live, and the things they choose to adorn and share their spaces with.
The best things in life are simple and sometimes the most exciting part of waking up is knowing that you're at home. While jet-setting the world and securing a bag may be a whole mood, you also need a peaceful landing strip to recollect and recharge. According to Atlanta native and professional wellness savage, Ashley Marietta, your home should be a place that heals you from the inside out.
The work-from-home creative and her boyfriend, Forte, who is a producer, share a two-bedroom apartment in the Lindbergh area of Atlanta that is abundant with foliage, crystals, and a whole lot of zen. While one room of the house acts as Forte's in-house studio, the rest is adorned with plant life and vintage finds found at thrift stores and estate sales.
The creative says that she inherited a love of plants from her mother, who Ashley hails as a "master gardener", and is now working to cultivate a mini-conservatory of her own while she pursues an education in herbalism. She told xoNecole, "I'm just really in the wellness field. I'm an herbalism student. I love anything that has to do with herbs and nature, natural remedies."
To Ashley, her plants are not only a hub of medicinal properties, but they also hold a great deal of sentimental value. Aside from her aloe vera, majesty palm, and bamboo plants, Ashley says that there is one very special piece of greenery that will forever hold a place in her heart. She shared that when she was fired from the last 9 to 5 she ever had, she left with nothing but a shrub and a dream. She explained, "I love this plant because I got fired from this job and that's the last job I ever had. And when I left I had a piece that was [very small] and I took it with me. And I grew it from there, so that's my baby. We came up out the mud together, literally."
We got a glimpse into this herbal hottie's simple sanctuary on an exclusive tour, where Ashley gives us the details on what she looks for in a home and how to make minimalist magic on a budget:
Manifest & Chill
Photo by Sanniyah Sloan for xoNecole
"I'm not playing about my energy, I sage once a week," she told xoNecole sternly. "I don't even know if the whole crystal vibe is real, but mentally, it makes me feel better, so I keep my crystals on deck. I have crystals everywhere, in the bathroom, on the bookshelf. At the very least, they claim that they deflect cell phone waves, allegedly."
Frugal Finds
Photo by Sanniyah Sloan for xoNecole
"I try to treasure hunt because I'm just now starting to make stable money. So before this point, I had to really hunt for things that were nice but affordable. Even Ross for me was expensive. So I would say thrift stores and estate sales are really cool. Because it's stuff you can't find anywhere else or people are just basically trying to get rid of it."
Vanity Fit For A Queen
Photo by Sanniyah Sloan for xoNecole
"I'm not gonna lie, this is why we even ended up here. This is what sold us on [our home] because we were like, 'Eh, it's okay, whatever.' Then we saw the bathroom, we were like, 'Okay cool.' 'Cause he and I, we used to fight to get ready in the morning to get ready. So it definitely was a selling point," Ashley laughed. "I could stay in here forever. I really take pride in it. When I get ready to go, it's my time to kind of pause and meditate and just take a breather. And then I start getting ready and just zen out instead of rushing like I used to."
Comfy Corner
Photo by Sanniyah Sloan for xoNecole
"My boyfriend and I are both antisocial and we both like to just chill and relax. So even though we're like together in one space, it's not invasive because we're able to do our thing. We'll kind of congregate here which is is why I love this couch."
Vision Boards & Views
Photo by Sanniyah Sloan for xoNecole
In regards to her vision board and its very bold writing of the word "no", Ashley shares a sentiment a lot of us feel about the powerful boundary-setting word. "I just felt like I need to say 'no' more and not out of like negativity, but just out of respect for myself. This is like the year of me focusing on me. I think I was like really considerate of everyone else and helping other people build their brand. So I said, this the year I want to focus on my health, my wealth, be more of an entrepreneur. Just feeling like I don't have to be tethered to people, family and doing what I gotta do for myself and knowing that my wealth will overflow into them. I know that's like complicated but that's literally what I'm thinking when I did this."
Click through the gallery below to tour her dope abode, as well as some of the intimate details that make her apartment feel like home:
Photo by Sanniyah Sloan for xoNecole
Keep up with Ashley by following her on Instagram @AshleyMarietta!
Featured image by Sanniyah Sloan for xoNecole
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Fortunately, five simple words have simplified my dating process and ushered in clarity faster: “Would my husband do this?”
A couple of years ago, I met an entertainment lawyer who was tonguing down a twenty-something-year-old woman for breakfast while I slurped my green smoothie and chomped on a flatbread sandwich. Okay, Black love, I grinned and thought as I sauntered out of the Joe & The Juice. As soon as I stepped down from the front door, a torrential downpour of Miami summer rain cascaded and throttled me back inside to wait out the storm.
I grabbed a hot green tea and vacillated between peering out the wet door and anxiously checking my watch. My lengthy agenda started with attending the Tabitha Brown and Chance Brown’s “Black Love” panel, and I was already late. That’s when the lawyer introduced himself to me, after he made a joke about neither one of us wanting to get soaked by the rain. His female companion had braved the storm, leaving us to find our commonalities.
We both lived in L.A. and had traveled to the American Black Film Festival to expand our network. He represented various artists, including entertainment writers, while I was working as a writer/creative producer in Hollywood.
While there is no shortage of internet advice on how to strategically meet a prominent man at conferences, if I spend my hard-earned funds on career growth, I have tunnel vision, and that doesn’t include finding Mr. Right. So, I stowed his contact details away as strictly professional.
Keep It Cute Love And Hip Hop GIFGiphyAs the humidity and mosquitoes were rising around L.A., two months later, another suitor-turned-terrible match cooled off after three unimpressive dates and a bevy of red flags. I posted what some of my friends called a thirst trap, but it was really me wearing a black freakum jumpsuit with a plunging neckline to my friend’s 35th birthday soiree despite feeling oh, so unsexy and bloated on my cycle.
I’d been waiting to post a sassy caption and finally had the perfect picture to match: “You not asking for too much, you just asking the wrong MF.”
That’s when the entertainment lawyer swooped into my DMs and asked me to dinner. I was quite confused. Is he asking me on a date? Or is this professional? Common sense would’ve picked the former. Once it clicked that this would in fact be a date, I told my mentor, who’s been happily married for over twenty years and has often been a guiding light and has steered me away from the wrong men.
Upon telling him about how we met, he emphatically stated, “He ain’t it.” He followed up with a simple question, "You have to ask yourself: Would my husband do this? Would you tell others that you met your husband, tonguing down another woman, and later married him?"
Aint It No Way GIF by UFCGiphyOuch. The thought-provoking question cleared any haze. Prior to going out with the lawyer, the first thing I inquired about was the woman.
“You saw that?” He said, taken aback that I’d witnessed his steamy PDA. Surely, anyone with two open eyes peeped him caressing her backside as he kissed her in the middle of the coffee shop.
He brushed her off as a casual someone he’d gone on a couple of dates with but had since stopped talking to. He said he hadn’t been in a serious relationship in over three years. Though I was still doubtful, dating in L.A. is treacherous and ephemeral. Making it past three months is considered a rarity.
With my antennae alert, I dined with him at a cozy beachside steakhouse restaurant where we were serenaded by a live jazz band. I’d emphasized forming a platonic friendship first.
Break Up Friendship GIF by TLCGiphy“I’ll come to you,” he obliged. I liked that he had made me a priority by driving over 50 miles to see me. I also liked the effort he made to check in with me daily. But I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he initiated on a professional pretense and then alley hooped through the back door on a romantic venture, which bombarded me with confusion.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my dating life, God is not the author of confusion; any man who brings confusion, rather than clarity, is simply not The One. It doesn’t matter how many boxes he checks–eventually, that confusion will manifest itself into bigger problems, in time.
After diving into deeper conversations on the phone, post our first dinner date, I quickly realized this man was indeed not The One for me. But I’m grateful for the valuable lesson I learned.
I don’t expect some unattainable fairytale of a husband; we all have our own flaws and conflict is inevitable, but after dating for two decades, through failure and success, I’ve realized that the person I ultimately marry must mirror the values I exert into the world. He must reciprocate kindness, patience, and respect. He must be quick to listen and slow to respond. He needs to be forgiving and trustworthy, practice healthy communication, and be a man of his word at the bare minimum.
If I’d had “Would my husband do this?” in my toolbox when I was dating and floundering in stagnant relationships, in my twenties, it would’ve saved me a lot of precious time. But now that I’m equipped with the reminder, it’s allowed me to ground myself in my non-negotiables and set/maintain the standard for the special person, I’ll one day say, “I do,” to.
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