

I feel pretty confident in saying that most of us are huge fans of foreplay. And since foreplay consists of actually touching your partner, doesn't it make sense that certain spots actually…hit the spot? On the surface, while you might think that I'm referring to erogenous zones, I'm actually talking about pressure points that will not only intensify your sexual experiences but can offer up all sorts of other health benefits too.
If you're ready to help your partner have even more enjoyable climaxes (as they hopefully do the same for you), here are seven places that, if you take 10-20 minutes to massage them, can result in a euphoric feeling that is truly like no other. (Just make sure to dim the lights and have a DIY massage oil on hand.)
7 Pressure Points for Better Sex
1. Head
You've probably heard that the greatest sex organ is your brain (I've certainly said it a few times on this platform). So, of course, it makes complete and total sense, why a head massage would be a great way to get your partner in the mood for sex.
On the health tip, it releases tension, eases headache and migraine discomfort and helps to relax the body (it also promotes hair growth and lowers your blood pressure). Sexually, a head massage can help to calm down an overactive mind as it also encourages blood to flow more freely throughout the body.
Head Massage Tip: Dab a mixture of sweet almond oil and lavender essential oil onto your fingertips (the lavender scent is calming and the almond oil will prevent any mild abrasions; lavender oil is pretty potent). With a medium amount of pressure, massage your partner's temples in small circular motions for five minutes, then move up to their scalp for an additional five. By the way, it's best if they are sitting in a comfy chair when you do this; it'll help to take some of the strain off of their back.
2. Ears
Ears are considered to be an erogenous zone. Plus, they contain somewhere around two hundred pressure points that are directly connected to various parts of the body. Both of these are valid reasons why ears made this list. The interesting thing about this part of the body is, when you massage the left earlobe, it stimulates the right brain and pineal gland and, when you massage the right one, it stimulates the left brain and pituitary gland. Consistent massaging of the ears helps to increase blood circulation and boost one's immunity. It also encourages the production of endorphins in order to relieve muscle-related pain and discomfort. As a bonus, you can boost your partner's libido if you rub on these pressure points a bit.
Ear Massage Tip: All of us have something that's known as the Bosch point; it's located on both ears. Basically, it's the thin part of our ear that, if we bent it towards our face, it would easily fold into our ear's canal. If you gently massage that area on both sides, and you add a little nibbling and/or dirty talk into the equation, I promise you that things will be on and poppin' within a couple of minutes.
3. Stomach
Did you know that a stomach/abdominal massage can improve digestion, relieve constipation, reduce bloating, strengthen and tone stomach muscles, release tension and aid in weight loss? Two other benefits are it can calm your senses and help your orgasms to last a little longer. The key is to be as gentle as possible, perhaps even giving a few kisses to the tummy region along the way.
Stomach Massage Tip: In order to get the best results, make sure to focus on the areas that are a couple of inches underneath your partner's belly button, and also the part that is right above their crotch. If you slightly apply pressure, it will get their blood to circulating and, it will definitely arouse their genitals in the process.
4. Back
Back massages do all sorts of great things. They help to release muscle tension from the spine. They increase blood circulation to your body's muscles and tissues. And sexually, they help to "trigger" the feel-good hormones that naturally run throughout your system as they increase body's mobility too. (Yes, back massages can actually make you more limber!)
Back Massage Tip: If you want to make this kind of massage extra soothing, warm up some massage oil. Then ask your partner to lay on their stomach on the bed. Place each hand, flat, on each side of your partner's spine and slowly move your hands upward until you reach their shoulders. Then use your thumbs to massage their shoulder blades in a circular motion. You should feel tension leave their body as you're actually doing it.
5. Butt
There are a lot of people who tell me that, as they get older, their lower back doesn't quite work the way that it used to (if you know what I mean). One thing that can help to get it back into action is to receive a glutes (butt) massage. It's a great way to regain some strength and agility while increasing blood circulation to your genital region and making your orgasms more intense as a direct result.
Butt Massage Tip: An easy way to relieve the stress, pain and pressure that may be lodged in your partner's glutes is to run a foam roller over them. You can typically get them at stores like Walmart or Target for under 20 bucks. Or, if you'd like to watch a video on how to give an effective butt massage, click here.
6. Calves
Have you ever gotten a charley horse during sex? I have and it sucks because it always seems to come right before, well, you know. Aside from making sure that you have enough liquids and potassium in your system, something else that you can do to decrease you and your partner's chance of having these super annoying muscle spasms is to give calf massages. They improve blood circulation, reduce any scar tissue that your calf muscles may have on them and, they help to decrease pain as well.
Calf Massage Tip: Warm up some coconut oil. Have your partner lay on the stomach on the bed. Use a medium amount of pressure in order to rub their legs from their thighs down to their ankles, using your knuckles to gently kneed any areas that might be extra tight. Do this for about six minutes per leg. It'll feel like heaven to them.
7. Feet

Reflexology is pretty dope. The premise of it is that, by massaging the hands, ears and yes, feet, you can soothe your nervous system and even help to heal various parts of your body. Since there are approximately 7,000 nerve endings in our feet, you can probably see why it's such a good idea to give them a good rub every now and then. Feet massages can do everything from eliminating toxins in your body and boosting your brain power to reducing period pain and relieving headaches. And yes, it can also make your sexual experiences better. That's because reflexology has a way of releasing the stress hormones in your system that may be hindering your ability to get fully aroused.
Foot Massage Tip: Something that can easily put your partner in the mood is to apply a gentle amount of pressure underneath the balls of both of their feet. Do this by pushing in that area with your thumbs and holding for a count of 10. If you then follow that up by using your thumbs to "walk" from their heels to each of their toes, it will help to release anxiety and elevate their libido too. Now get to rubbing—and make sure that your partner returns the favor!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Swipe Right For Sisterhood: Reginae Carter Talks Teaming Up With BLK To Make Friendships Front & Center
You know the vibes: dating apps aren’t just for finding romance anymore—at least not for Gen Z! As young people continue to redefine connection, BLK, the leading dating app for Black singles, is shaking things up with the launch of Social Mode. The new feature allows users to toggle between dating and platonic connections. Yep, you read that right—friendship is now just as easy to find as love.
To kick off this game-changing launch, BLK teamed up with TV personality and socialite Reginae Carter for the ultimate Girls’ Night In, proving that sisterhood is just as important as romance. The exclusive event was a celebration of the new feature and the power of Black women coming together to uplift one another.
“Your circle is everything,” Reginae shares with a smile, and she’s not wrong. She’s all about creating spaces where we can come together, let our hair down, and vibe with like-minded women. “We deserve spaces to meet, uplift, and vibe with each other. BLK is making that happen,” she adds.
A New Era for Friendships—Social Mode Is Here!
Gen Z is all about building meaningful connections, whether it’s with a date or a new brunch buddy. That’s why Social Mode is such a big deal. Research shows that 65% of Gen Z values friendships just as much as romantic relationships. With BLK’s new feature, users can easily toggle between “Dating” and “Social,” opening up a world of platonic connections—no swiping right required.
Bahja Rodriguez, Reginae Carter, Breaunna Womack, Lourdes Rodriguez and Zonnique Pullins attend OMG Girlz "Make A Scene" Single Release & Video Viewing Party at Trap City Cafe on March 27, 2025 in Atlanta, Georgia
Photo by Prince Williams/WireImage
Reginae Carter Hosts the Ultimate Girls’ Night In—Powered by BLK Social Mode
What better way to show Social Mode in action than with an exclusive Girls’ Night In, hosted by Reginae? The event brought together top influencers, tastemakers, and press for a night of luxury, self-care, and real talk about love, sex, and relationships. From tarot readings to perfume-making and signature cocktails, the evening embodied the “soft life” vibe that many Black women are embracing in 2025—peaceful, intentional, and full of joy.
Guests mingled, laughed, and bonded over the importance of finding a tribe that supports you. It wasn’t just about fun (although there was plenty of that!)—it was about creating a circle of inspiring, strong women. “We need to stick together. We need to be each other’s village,” Reginae says, emphasizing the power of community over competition.
Sisterhood: The Real MVP
For Reginae, it’s all about friendship—and not just the surface-level kind. “We need friends who keep it real with us. The ones who can tell us when we’re right, when we’re wrong, and when we need to calm down,” she says. As someone who navigates the spotlight, she’s got the best of both worlds: friends who understand the grind and those who can give her an honest, grounded perspective.
Her advice for building strong, intentional friendships? “Be confident in yourself and know your worth,” she explains. “Also, hurt people hurt people, so make sure you’re coming from a good place when you’re building relationships. It’s not always about being nice—sometimes it’s about being real.”
Reginae couldn’t have summed it up better: “When you have the right circle, the right tribe, everything just feels easier. And that’s exactly what BLK is giving us—space to connect, laugh, and grow with each other.”
To learn more about BLK’s Social Mode, download or update the BLK app in the App Store or Google Play Store today. Who knows? You might just find your new bestie or your next brunch crew.
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Feature image by Prince Williams/WireImage