You are your own woman before, during, and after a relationship. And just because you are someone's wife or life partner doesn't mean that your identity is stripped or heightened because of that. You are yours before being anyone else's.
La La Anthony might have the last name of a prominent NBA player, but she is letting it be known that her Power moves have been orchestrated because of her own hard work as a businesswoman. In an inspiring essay with InStyle, the entrepreneur, actress, and bestselling author opens up about her journey of becoming the success that she is today, and it's full of keys for everyone out there working on becoming their own boss and rejoice in their own power.
Know Yourself, Know Your Worth
First things first, you have to know your worth by understanding what you have to offer. And then feel free to check others accordingly:
"I had to constantly remind people that I was there to work, [that it was] not about how tight my jeans are."
The Grind Won't Stop Unless You Do
Being a woman in male-dominated industries is nothing short of challenging. Every day, we are faced with situations where we have to go a little bit harder, assert ourselves a little bit more than our male counterparts, and constantly navigate the roads of classy clapback and peaceful composure. The seeds of La La's rise to fame were planted in her first role as an MTV VJ on TRL.
Though her first love was hip-hop, and she loved her job, it wasn't always rosé and roses.
"I felt like I had to prove myself 10 times more. I was always about my grind and my job and never made it about looks or anything else. I was just like, 'I'm gonna prove to you people that I know what I'm talking about and I'm good at what I'm doing, so you take me seriously.' That's always how it's been for me."
Remember You Shrink For Nothing & No One
In male-dominated spaces, La La reminds us that it's important to keep your head down to work but keep your head up to let your power be known. In no way is it okay to tolerate disrespect from others in your professional environment. Whether you are in the startup space or working in a restaurant, never dilute your whole self to comfort others.
"As a woman, I've never allowed myself to change my self-esteem or my confidence and back down to somebody else, even though sometimes it may be easier."
Know That New Levels Demand More Of You
New levels, new devils; new levels, new lessons.
When you are aspiring to become something bigger than yourself, it requires you to step your cookies up. That can be difficult for women because society wants us to crouch to fit into boxes. We're taught to clip our wings for those around us who do not yet know how to fly, because our power takes up too much space. Maintaining awareness of your own power is a strategic - and grounding - way to travel through the scabrous journey towards your goals.
To La La, power is the key you need to bring forth your own happiness:
"Power to me is being in control of your life, being in control of your decisions, and not allowing anyone else to knock you off your block or sway your morals and values and how you feel. It's about doing what you want to do and trying to make yourself happy."
Realize That There's Power In A Tribe Of Successful Women
It's important to take pride in the work we do for ourselves and congratulate our own wins due to the resilience and strength that we hold as women. It's also important to remove the veils of the illusionment of "self-made" success. Community, bonding, sisterhood, whatever you want to call it, is an important aspect of development. Black Girl Magic wouldn't exist if queens didn't recognize queens and we all didn't see each others' greatness.
According to La La, keeping a group of badass women around you doesn't hurt when it comes to your own growth:
As I grew up, I realized that I didn't need to be "one of the boys" in order to be successful; I could stand alongside them as a powerful woman and surround myself with other badass women who understood my experiences the way that men never could."
"I've always admired my friends, whether it's Ciara, Serena Williams or Kelly Rowlandor Kim Kardashian. My circle is full of amazing trailblazers who do amazing things. I've watched all these women break down all kinds of barriers and continue to do so. That's how we grow and move forward."
There Is Nothing Worth Gaining That Doesn't Require Challenge
Work hard. Harness your powerful confidence as a woman and stand your ground. Build a community of like-minded, driven women.
La La's own light illuminates a beautiful truth for all of us: there is nothing worth gaining that doesn't require challenge, but there are no barriers that we can't overcome if we put a little bit of our power into it.
"I've worked really hard to get where I'm at. I wasn't born into this life—I didn't have any family in the business to help me along—I trailed this path on my own with the help of amazing people along the way. And I'm continuing to grow in the things I love and find new passions. I feel like I'm just getting started."
Read La La's InStyle essay here.
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
And even though I’m not personally a social media (account) user, I must say that two things that I find to be pretty sad about where TikTok is headed (should it truly and finally come to an end) are one, all of the money that it’s going to cost its creators (I actually read that it will be close to a whopping $1.3 billion in the first month of a ban) and two, the fact that when it comes to researching things to write about, TikTok is so much better and easier than Facebook or Instagram (Mark Zuckerberg is a real trip right now; keep checking up on him too…SMDH).
A great example of this: learning about the diaper rash face cream trend that everyone seems to be raving about these days; especially on TikTok. Yeah, it all might sound crazy on the surface, but I’ve actually got some intel, along with videos from Black women who don’t regret putting something that was made for a baby’s butt (relatively speaking) all over their face.
Are you ready to see if it’s something that just might work for you as well?
Video credit: @_nvrseeme via TikTok
Diaper Rash on Your Face Even Has a Name: Face Basting
GiphyYou learn something new every day, chile. Personally, I think a big reason is because something new is made up all of the time. LOL. Take skin or face basting, for example. Now, unless you are someone who already puts diaper rash cream on your face, I’d be close to shocked if you know what that term means. If you’re like me — someone who just found out while conducting research for this piece — and you’re curious, skin basting is what happens when you want to do an overnight treatment on your skin with the help of diaper rash cream (face basting is when you apply it to your face only).
And just why would you do something like this? Well, for one thing, diaper rash cream tends to have a good amount of an ingredient called zinc oxide in it. It’s beneficial for your skin in a myriad of ways including the fact that it 1) helps to create a protective barrier on it; 2) can shield your skin from damaging UV rays; 3) locks moisture into dry skin; 4) helps to heal damaged skin tissue; 5) can help to prevent bacterial infections from occurring (or spreading); 6) increases the production of collagen; 7) slows down the signs of skin aging, and 9) can even treat dandruff.
If you add to that the fact that the lanolin and dimethicone (which are also skin protectants) are also in many diaper rash creams — hell, why wouldn’t you consider putting at least a dab or two of the stuff onto your face to see if it helps at all? I mean, GOODNESS.
Video credit: @staria_brantley via TikTok
Why Face Basting Is Better than Face Slugging
GiphyAnd what if you’re reading all of this and you’re thinking that face basting sounds a lot like something else that you’ve casually come across: face slugging? If that is the case, you may be wondering if there is a difference between the two. There is.
Face basting is about letting diaper rash cream soak into your skin for a significant amount of time. Face slugging is when you substitute the cream for a thick ointment like Vaseline or Aquaphor.
The method behind the madness of “slugging” is it could possibly help to heal dry skin and keep it soft for a longer period of time — although, to me, it seems like a surefire way to clog up your pores (so please report back, if you’ve tried this before). Plus, I can only imagine what your pillowcases and sheets end up looking and feeling like the next morning. Yeah, on the slugging tip, I’ll pass.
Video credit: @that.calliegirl via TikTok
Who Shouldn’t Attempt to “Baste Their Face”
GiphyAs you can see from the TikTok videos that I’ve interwoven throughout this article, some women are real fans of face basting. Still, that doesn’t mean it should be the go-to remedy for everyone. For one thing, if diaper rash cream only had zinc oxide, lanolin, and dimethicone, you might be all good; however, that isn’t the case. Mineral oil, fragrance, and other ingredients that are oftentimes in diaper rash cream could potentially irritate your skin.
Another thing to keep in mind is because diaper rash cream is also thick (like Vaseline), there is a chance that your breakouts could get worse due to potential pore clogs. Same goes for if you have oily skin or super sensitive skin (because a baby’s bottom has “tougher” skin than the skin that is on your face).
In all of these instances, if you want to see if diaper rash cream could be the skin remedy that you’ve been looking for, avoid the full-on basting and just apply a bit on your face. Wait a few days to see if there are any unwanted side effects and go from there — although it’s also a good idea to keep in mind that you can always purchase some plain zinc oxide ointment or speak with a dermatologist about what would ultimately be best for you.
Other Practical Uses for Diaper Rash Cream
GiphyWhew, chile. Now that you know what diaper rash can do for your face, you’d be more than warranted to be curious about if it can benefit you in other ways. The answer is actually…yes. Hangnails. If you “baste your nail cuticles” with it a couple of nights a week, it will help to keep your cuticles well-moisturized (since hangnails pretty much come from dry cuticles).
Vulvovaginitis. Vulvovaginitis is a technical term for irritation of the vulva. So long as you apply the ointment to your vulva only, it can help to bring temporary relief to itchiness or irritation (it’s good for girls as well as women, by the way).
Thigh chafing. If thigh chafing is something that you deal with,the zinc oxide that’s in diaper rash cream can serve as a barrier for your skin, so that it’s not as much of an issue.
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Personally, I’ve got a pretty good skin regimen going right now, so I’m not sure if I’ll be doing the face basting thing any time soon. Now nail basting? Diaper rash cream just might have me sold there. Because when you stop to think about the fact that you can get so much from a (roughly) $10 container or tube — why not?
Y’all, who knows if TikTok will be done this year. Just in case, let’s use this article as an opportunity to thank it for the hacks that sometimes do actually work.
Well done, TikTok. This time. LOL.
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Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images