There is nothing more exciting than getting the news that the bundle of joy everyone has been waiting for has finally arrived. As soon as you get the word, you probably start making plans in your head about when you're going to go visit the baby and the gifts you hope to bring. And while all of this is sweet and many new parents appreciate it, there are some things to consider.
After a mother gives birth, she goes through many changes. No matter how she gave birth, she's most likely feeling it and trying to heal. Not to mention, she's exhausted! The new mom is getting to know her baby and figuring him or her out. Anxiety could be at an all-time high.
Here are a few things to remember when it comes to post-baby etiquette after someone you love has a baby:
Respect The Adjustment Period
Give new parents time to bond with their baby and make sense of what will most likely be a crazy routine for the next few weeks. Even if they call you from the hospital to tell you the news, don't assume that's an invitation to drop in or call multiple times. Texting or emailing is a life-saver in cases like this! That way, when the parents have time in between trying to get some sleep and caring for a new baby, they can respond. Please don't take offense if they don't respond right away! There is a lot happening.
Don't Drop By Unannounced
This is the worst thing you can do to new parents! Dropping by unannounced can make them feel very overwhelmed. New parents may not have the heart to tell you that it's not a good time or may be worried about hurting your feelings. I have personally witnessed how hard it can be when you have a rotating number of people coming in and out of your house after having a baby. The mother is usually struggling to sit up in a robe looking exhausted, trying to smile, look happy, and entertain, while her baby goes from hand to hand. Respect the mother's space and the fact that she is extremely fatigued. She probably didn't even get to shower that day for all you know.
Also, family members: don't show up with an overnight bag, temporarily move in and start rearranging things in the home. Although most people know it's coming from a good place, it can make new parents feel stressed and tense. If they would like help with the baby or want you to stay overnight, let them ask you. Or if you're unsure, ask them.
Be On Time and Don't Overstay Your Welcome
Once new parents finally get it together and ask you to come over on a specific day, try your best to be on time. They most likely scheduled that time after the baby had a nap or feeding, or around a time when the baby will have the most energy. When and if you come late, it can really throw the parents and the baby off schedule. If you are going to be late, give them a call to let them know and check to make sure if you should still come that same day. It may be best to reschedule.
When you are visiting, keep your eye on the clock. I personally think a 30-60 minute visit is appropriate. Nothing longer than that. Be aware of non-verbal signs that the parents might show of being sleepy.
Leave Your Young Children Or Other Pets At Home
When visiting, avoid bringing your small children or pets. Small children can get restless. They may cry and be unable to sit still. You don't want your toddler to be disruptive or wake the baby while napping/resting. Even if the parents have toddlers already, it's best to not add to the noise factor.
Also, leave your pet behind. You don't want your dog or cat in the mix when a new baby is only a few days old. If the parents already have pets that's okay, just don't assume it's time for a doggy playdate.
Don't Bring Extra Guests
People always do this and I wonder how they are comfortable with it. It is not a good idea to bring extra people with you who are uninvited to visit a new baby. You don't know if the parents will be comfortable and they may feel like you put them on the spot. If something comes up and you have to make arrangements for someone to come with you, check and ask ahead of time to make sure it is okay.
Avoid Visiting If You're Sick
A new baby's immune system is super sensitive. If you're sick, the considerate thing to do would be to stay away. A new baby can get sick and possibly have complications fighting off an illness that we can easily beat as adults in a short period of time.
Wash Your Hands or Use Hand Sanitizer
Even if you think your hands are clean, always wash them before holding a new baby. We carry many germs and you should always be cautious to not pass it on to the tiny newcomer.
Don't Kiss The Baby
I know it may be tempting, but don't ever kiss someone's else's baby, especially when the child is a newborn. I've seen many people do this, sometimes even on the mouth. If you are not the parent, this is not appropriate to do. You want to be mindful, so please do not upset new parents by doing this.
Bring Cooked Food/Ask Them What They Need
If you're a close family member, be intentional and ask them how you can be supportive, don't take it into your own hands. While flowers and balloons are great, you would be surprised to know that new parents prefer food or another task that can help. While adjusting to newborn life, parents don't have much time to make meals. Bringing something that is cooked and can be reheated is often very appreciated.
Also, don't be afraid to ask how you can help during your visit. A load of laundry, a quick grocery run, or a light clean is helpful. If you're a close family member, with permission from the family, you can even make a little schedule of who can come over to help with small tasks during the week. This will help make the new parents feel supported and less stressed.
Featured image by Austin Wade on Unsplash
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Bianca Simone was born and raised in Boston, Massachusetts. She currently resides in California where she is pursuing her dreams of being a writer. She hopes to move and inspire people every day through creating, and by working diligently, remaining humble, and relatable always.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert