

We are currently eight months in 2020 and as we prepare to enter this new season, I know you are present with your pen and paper writing out your list on what you've accomplished so far and what you still need to check off. Most of us were full steam ahead with our resolutions until Miss Rona knocked on our doors with a "hey, sis." As such, we are still adjusting to what the "new normal" looks like for us.
Some of us have used this downtime to revamp while others like me are biting nails as we watch the growing numbers of positive cases on CNN, and look around whenever we hear someone cough—dealing with anxiety and fear of the unknown. Intermingled with that worry, many of us are having concerns with balancing the home and work life as our regular routines shattered with challenges with creating new habits. At any rate, our lives were definitely shaken up to say the least and 2020 feels like the year that delivers blow after blow after blow. When met with anxiety and overwhelm, loss, uncertainty, worry, and financial stress, it can be easy to feel like giving up. To help combat those inevitable low moments, something that could prove to be beneficial is speaking life over yourself through affirmations.
14 Affirmations For When You Feel Like Giving Up
I will be present in every moment.
Focus on the task at hand. Sometimes we get excited about completing a goal that we don't enjoy the journey. When you feel overwhelmed or have negative self-talk, being present in the moment can shift your focus on what's in front of you.
I have the power to change my story.
That's the beauty of your life. It is yours, and you have the power to do whatever you want with it. That is the ultimate power and freedom. You can change your story within seconds. Realize that power and use it for good.
Everything I'm looking for I can find within me.
Have you ever asked your friend for advice but you already know what to do? Were you looking for confirmation? Ignoring outside opinions in lieu of trusting your gut and instincts, you will increase your self-confidence in knowing what you need to do and what it takes to get it done.
I love myself enough to push through.
Sometimes the most difficult tasks and decisions will test you and require you to dig a little deeper, stay up a little longer, or even get in one more squat for your summer body. It all boils down to the love and commitment you're willing to give to yourself.
Great things never come from my comfort zone.
It's time to say no to things that don't serve you and start saying yes to something that can elevate you. Nothing is wrong with being playing it safe. However, in order to grow, you must push past being passive in reaching your goals and start being active. Coming out of our comfort zones reveals a side of us that we didn't know existed. Let's be honest, "old ways won't open new doors."
Something amazing is about to happen to me.
You probably can't see it, touch it, taste it, or feel it, but you are so close. To reach any goal, you have to fake it until you make it. Saying it fifty times a day will give you all the confidence to embrace all the good that will happen in our life.
I thoroughly let go and trust in divine timing.
Things happen when they're supposed to happen, and not when you're ready for them to arrive. While attending to your goals, you are building your character along the way. Letting go and trusting the process will alleviate any anxiety and stress you may be feeling during this time. The point is that you have to keep going. When the time does arrive, you can and will appreciate it more.
I accomplish anything I focus on.
It's easy to get distracted during these current times. If we focus long and hard enough, we can get things done, whether it takes hours, days, or years. Setting time aside, meditating, and praying will impact your focus and motivation to complete your goals.
I choose prosperity over failure.
Don't allow Miss Rona to step on your toes and get in your way. You've come too far. Put those Pinterest boards to good use and hit the ground running. You can't fail, and you aren't giving yourself room to fail. You've come too far to give up now.
I release all negativity.
Are your thoughts motivating you or intimidating you to throw in the towel? What is popping up on your timeline? Sometimes to complete the tasks we deem necessary, we have to let go of something until the mission is complete temporarily.
I am always headed in the right direction.
When diving into something new, you will often second-guess yourself or jump in the pool of self-sabotage. But, everything you've worked for so far is leading you in the direction of your goals. The journey wasn't perfect; it may not have looked like your peers' journeys, but you are on the path to success as long as you know that you were forever in the right direction.
I honor my commitments and promises.
You've spent weeks and months conjuring up the plan to put things in motion to complete your goals finally. You've already made the verbal agreement with yourself. To keep your promises to yourself, you've signed your name on the dotted line and are committed to this journey.
I am running a marathon at my own pace and aim at the finish line.
Before you compare and contrast your journey with your peers, it is essential to recognize what sacrifices you're willing to make, to dig deep and to figure out what your goals indeed are. Other people's success can be discouraging and make you question your path. If you focus on the task at hand, the finish line can become apparent and more tangible. You are a winner for even trying, getting started, and executing.
I have the power to overcome hardships.
Let's face it. You'll endure more lows than highs during this time. The small wins and victories also come with epic fails and humps to get over. It would help if you reminded yourself that you would prevail. You will overcome this. You will win.
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Writer, Empath, Listener, Self Improver, and a motivational speaker to her homegirls Teisha LeShea currently resides in California who loves to add fifteen million items to her Amazon cart. She is passionate about wellness, spiritual improvement, leveling up, and setting up twice a month therapy appointments. She writes with you in mind. Her listicle and personal stories will inspire you to dig deep within yourself to be a better you. You can follow her on Instagram @teisha.leshea and & @tl_teisha.leshea
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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More Than A Meal: How Bryant & Daniella Found Love In The Kitchen
How We Metis a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
They say the best relationships start off as friendships, and Bryant aka Chef Baul, and Daniella Williams are living proof of that. The couple met on the job and from there, their relationship organically blossomed into something much more.
Now married for almost three years, the couple has grown their family and businesses, opening a brunch restaurant, Betty Sue’s, in Atlanta.
From the day they met, food has always played a role in their relationship, and working together in the food industry is what we call a full circle moment. Learn more about Bryant and Daniella’s story of finding love with one another.
How they met.
Bryant: We met at a mutual clients’ house. She was doing the lady hair, and I was cooking for the lady. The client sent her downstairs to record me while I was cooking to, I guess, see what I was cooking, and I caught her recording, but we didn't talk. I caught her recording, we laughed it off, and she went about her day.
So I guess that was the first thing that made us interact with each other. A few months down the line, I think she posted something [on social media]. I hopped in her DM and responded to it, and then we decided to just meet up and hang out. I looked at her as an entrepreneur. I'm an entrepreneur. She don’t need nothing. I don’t need nothing. It's good to hang with people who don't need nothing from you.
When we linked up, our chemistry was just so soft and just so nice. She is a great person, but after meeting up with her [for the] first time, she went back to Miami. She came back [to Atlanta], and we just kicked it off that next weekend, and ever since then, we've been locked in.
Daniella: That same client had flew me back in so I knew I had to come up here for work. But I told him that we'll meet up and [go] on a date and see each other again. When that happened, everything else was history. It just happened organically. It wasn’t forced or anything.
Bryant and Daniella Williams
Courtesy
First impressions.
Bryant: I knew for a fact for her to come downstairs and try to record me, I knew that she was brave, and that said a lot about her, because I barely even talk when I'm cooking for my clients. So you have to talk to somebody for them to feel comfortable to play with you, or do certain things. I feel like the client sent her downstairs because she knew that she's an outspoken, bubbly type of person who don't mind laughing it off if she gets caught doing it.
When she came back to Atlanta, she booked me to cook for her family. So while I was cooking for her in the kitchen, the whole time she was in there talking to me. It was like a date in the kitchen, and I cooked her food. Once the food was laid out, I just left. We had a great conversation when I was cooking for her, and also when she came downstairs and tried to record me.
Daniella: I was impressed how he was multitasking because I was asking him deep, interesting questions, and he was cooking the food, and he was still answering my questions. But I was in a relationship at that time, so I wasn't really in tune. It was no emotions. But when I came back and flew in to work, we met with each other.
He came and picked me up from the hotel and we drove around Atlanta, sightseeing. We went to the African club. So when he came downstairs, I was like okay, you not gonna hug me, you not gonna say nothing? He was shocked and we stayed together for like eight or nine hours, and he took me back to the hotel. I think he picked me up around nine at night. He took me back to the hotel around seven in the morning. Then he walked me to my hotel door. He gave me a hug and he gave me a kiss and said, 'I love you.' And I was like, what?
We stayed together for like eight or nine hours, and he took me back to the hotel. I think he picked me up around nine at night. He took me back to the hotel around seven in the morning. Then he walked me to my hotel door. He gave me a hug and he gave me a kiss and said, 'I love you.' And I was like, what?
The one.
Daniella: When we first linked up, he took me around Atlanta. He was soft and gentle. He was a gentleman. He opened the door for me and I never had nobody open the door. He opened the door every single time I was going in and getting out the car, and when we went to that restaurant. I was like, [there’s] something about him, and he was just nice, calm and patient. So I knew he was a little different from what I'm used to.
Bryant: [I knew she was the one by] how she cared so much. She didn't really know me like that. She knew of me, but she cared so much about me. When we first met, she would lay on me and just relax. For someone who just wants to relax on you, that says a lot about them towards you. It wasn't like I had to prove myself and she didn’t have to prove herself with me either. It wasn't nothing like that. We were willing to take whatever came with it. But it just was really a break. It was like the best me meeting a woman because I didn't try.
Any other woman, I might be trying to dress up, take her to this place, I did not try at all. I picked her up and I actually thought that she wasn't gonna go on the date with me because of her status and my status. I'm such a laid back homey dude and she's from Miami. I thought she would be on the City Girls, you gotta do this, do that. But she wasn't. She was the total opposite. She was a homebody, chill, like me.
Bryant and Daniella Williams
Courtesy
Marriage advice for couples.
Bryant: Work together. Communication, put your mind together.
Daniella: And keep your family out your business.
Bryant: Keep it private please. Y'all work it out first. When y'all make sure it's solidified, then you tell them, or let them find out on their own. Privacy is the most valuable thing.
Daniella: And date each other because people get married and they stop doing the things that they did to get you, or stop doing the things that they did while they were in a relationship with you, before y'all got married. No, do the same thing. For me, I get bored easy, and I think he knows that. So just keep it spicy. Keep it interesting.
Bryant: We like spontaneous stuff like last-minute trips, trying different foods, going out the country just off a spur of a moment. You gotta make it fun. Don't just make it all business. And I think one person out of the relationship needs to take the initiative to make sure their partner is relaxing and at peace. A lot of people carry functional depression to where they’re functional, like we're doing this right now, but they can be going through something.
I don't think it's male or female. I think whichever one, the other partner should notice it and work with their partner to get through whatever they get through, like, for postpartum depression and stuff. That's something that most men don't even really know exist, but that's something when she had our daughter, I had an anti-postpartum depression plan put in place for her. She didn't know about it, but I knew I was gonna be extra sweet to her.
She won't have to think about doing nothing with the little baby. My little girl was watching the football game with me, when she was a few weeks old, because I was giving her that peace, so she can just relax, because her body has been through so much. So you got to be considerate of your mate's mental state and their mental well-being, because when it's gone, it's gone and it takes a lot to get it back, so I think that's important.
When she had our daughter, I had an anti-postpartum depression plan put in place for her. She didn't know about it, but I knew I was gonna be extra sweet to her. She won't have to think about doing nothing with the little baby. My little girl was watching the football game with me, when she was a few weeks old, because I was giving her that peace, so she can just relax, because her body has been through so much.
If you see something not right with your spouse, help them get help. It's okay for them to talk to a therapist by themselves, or it's okay for them to talk to somebody, but don't just sit there and let them go into this decline and self-destruction. I think that's the most important, because sometimes she be overwhelmed, and I have to be that person to hold her up. And then sometimes I'm overwhelmed. To her, baby, I don't want to do this no more. She's like, you gonna do this. We gonna do this. And she reminds me who I am. I remind her who she is, and we come back feeling more motivated.
Daniella: I think business owners should date business owners because they understand your hustle, your hunger. They understand when you can have a day where you make $0 and you have a day when you make $1,000. But I feel like if you dating someone who is in corporate America, and you a business owner, there's going to be a lot of friction, a lot of tension, and I just feel like I want to date someone that has the same drive as me.
Because I don't want to feel like I'm trying to build a bear, build a man, and I have to pull you and drag you, or just being with somebody who got they self together. For instance, my last relationship. I won't say I was the breadwinner, but I was kind of established, and I felt like I was sleeping with the enemy. I was growing fast and I wasn't stagnant. I was trying to get to the next level. He started to be jealous of me and I feel like a lot of women deal with men trying to be jealous of them. Men also have ego issues where they don't really want their woman making a certain amount of money or making more money than them.
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