If this is the year that you’ve decided that you’re going to, at the very least, go on a few really great dates with someone who you are truly interested in, have you mentioned that to your friends? Believe it or not, even with all of this technology that we have out here, over dating apps, social settings, or folks at work (y’all be careful with that last one, please), meeting someone special through your friends continues to reign supreme with some studies revealing that somewhere around 39 percent of individuals met their someone special that way.
Theoretically, things working out effectively in this manner make all of the sense in the world because, well, think about it — your friends know you, your friends care about you and, more times than not, that also is the case for the individual who they are trying to hook you up with. Still, I get how being set up on a semi-blind date with not much more than a “trust me” from one of my girlfriends or homies to go on might be a bit…let’s go with semi-uncomfortable. That’s why I just knew that I had to share with you a current dating trend that seems to be taking social media by storm.
It's called Pitch-A-Friend and here’s what it’s all about.
Never Heard of “Pitch-A-Friend” Before? Here’s the Gist.
GiphyI always like to give credit where credit is due so, before getting into what Pitch-A-Friend is, from what I’ve read and researched, you can thank Lucas Chaufournie (the founder of Seattle Social Club) for the initial concept and then Melissa Schipke and Ariana Brogan for seeing it on social media and giving it legs to the point where the concept is now an official platform that hosts events all over the country (and even some places that are outside of the US).
Full backstory: When Lucas first started this idea, folks would be given a few minutes to literally pitch their friend to individuals who were hanging out at local bars and breweries. Basically, they had a few moments to share why they thought their friend would be an awesome individual to date.
As Pitch-A-Friend got more sophisticated, people started doing PowerPoint presentations of their friends and the details got a bit more specific (like sharing what someone’s religious and/or political views may be as an example). In my mind, it sounds like speed dating, only with pitch decks and someone who is your wingman/wingwoman in the form of a hype man/hype woman presenting them —and yeah, on some levels, that actually sounds pretty cool.
Here's why I say so…
What Are the Benefits of Taking This Approach?
GiphyOkay, so if you choose to participate in an official Pitch-A-Friend event (meaning, you’re going to be the person to pitch one of your friends to “the masses”), you need to be prepared to present a PowerPoint presentation that is 3-5 minutes long. It should include some fun facts about your friend, a few different photos of them, and a couple of stories that will intrigue the listeners. It’s a good idea to keep in mind that you are to present your friend in the best possible light which means that inside jokes and backhanded compliments aren’t appropriate — remember, there’s a huge chance that the folks at these Pitch-A-Friend meetings don’t know you or the person you are talking about, so you shouldn’t be trying to low-key roast anyone.
And what are the benefits of this dating take? The first thing that comes to my mind is since you have to make a formal presentation, that gives you time to really think about what to say about your friend. As opposed to just bringing them up to someone and saying something like, “She’s good people” or “He’s someone I think you would like,” you have to ponder what the clearly defined traits, qualities and details that would make them seem really appealing to someone else. And when it comes to a formal Pitch-A-Friend event, another thing that I like is you’re not just attempting to hook your friend up with one person in particular — there is a room full of individuals who may show interest.
I must admit, though, that when it comes to a Pitch-A-Friend event, two things that I considered to be a potential “con” are 1) if you and/or your friend aren’t one for crowds, you or they may not want to go that route and/or 2) the event may not have a lot of people in the room that you and/or your friend would even want to pitch or be pitched to because the demographic isn’t y’all’s exact preference (if you know what I mean).
And that’s why I wanted to provide another approach to all of this (if you’re interested…).
Perhaps Throw Your Own Pitch-A-Friend Event. Online.
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Giphy1. Hop on a platform that hosts online parties. One way to do an event like this from the comfort and convenience of your own home is to host a virtual version of it. Some sites like Remo and Webex are able to accommodate hundreds of people which means that they also charge a “nice” amount (read more about that here) to do so. Meanwhile, other platforms like Zoom Events and rsvpify are super reasonable. Then, once you know which platform you want to use, you can alert people to what you are doing via email or social media. Just make sure to pay close attention to how many people each platform is prepared to accommodate; that will help you to decide how you want to promote everything.
2. Consider having a theme. Something that can make the event even more interesting is to have a theme. It could be centered around newly single people, folks who have birthdays during a certain time of the year, or even folks who may be looking for a long-distance relationship (because yes, some people enjoy traveling). You could even do things like request that everyone come dressed in a certain color. The sky really is the limit.
3. Have some sort of icebreaker. Even though everyone is participating from home, they still might be (initially) nervous. So, have some sort of icebreaker to put your online audience more at ease. Maybe ask everyone to share their first name and favorite R&B song along with why — you know, something that will showcase their personality without them feeling pressured in the process.
4. Put together some clear guidelines. Since there’s a pretty good chance that no one else in your world has attended a Pitch-A-Date event before, you definitely need to have some clear guidelines. This would include how long presentations should be (no longer than 3-5 minutes is good), what kind of content should be featured, and how folks can contact the individuals who they are interested in once the pitches have been given.
As far as content goes, I personally think that deal-breakers are one of the things that should be shared because, for instance, I have seen way too many Pop the Balloons (for instance) where people will say that they don’t want to be in a long-distance relationship…even though they traveled to be on the show (what in the world?). And yes, require that all of this be a PowerPoint presentation. It’s easier to process and remember what was shared that way.
5. Offer prizes. Something else that can be fun is to offer up prizes for things like who made the best presentation, who seems like the most awesome type of friend, and who dressed to impress the most. Because who doesn’t like to attend events where prizes are involved?
____
A friend bragging on their friend in hopes of them finding true love (or at least someone to enjoy some Mongolian beef with?)? I don’t see how anything could be wrong with that — which is why I decided to shout Pitch-A-Friend out.
Give it a shot. Let us know how it all turned out.
On the pitching and dating end.
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Featured image by Luis Alvarez/Getty Images
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak