Self-care is more than a buzz word of the moment, it's a lifestyle. And it's a practice everyone should indulge in.
So often we prioritize our work, our families, and other assorted responsibilities ahead of prioritizing ourselves. Trust me, I've been there. As xoNecole's Managing Editor, I often find myself at the beck and call of emails, being pulled this way and that way for content edits, and of course, managing a team. I used to wake up and allow myself to be inundated with emails before I had time to even brush my teeth. But after months of feeling myself become more and more depleted from the hustle and flow of the daily rise and grind, I had to take ownership of how I approach my day. That began with upping the way I approached self-care.
And as our Editor In Chief, Necole Kane suggested in her post on the importance of having a morning ritual, there is nothing like the peace that comes with taking a couple of hours to pour into yourself before pouring into anything or anyone else. Self-care practices can differ from person to person, and today, we have gathered the different self-care routines that our xoNecole editorial team swears by. Check them out by clicking through the gallery below and get inspired!
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
As a Social Media Manager, you can just imagine how busy and chaotic my life can be. On any given day, either y'all President tweeted something ridiculous for the billionth time or Beyonce is breaking the internet and coming for everybody's wigs. Which is why taking time out for myself is critical; even though I feel like there's not enough hours in a day. Due to my hectic schedule, I've dedicated Sunday mornings to sort of unplug from the internet and truly enjoy me time.
I've started using Sundays to sleep in and get the rest that I need.
I make sure my phone alarms aren't set so that nothing is waking me up earlier that I want. This has reduced my stress levels so that I'm energized and I don't go into the new week still stressed out from the week before. Once I wake up, I take roughly 10 minutes to lay in silence and thank God for my blessings. I've found that this helps me get rid of any negative thoughts I've accumulated. Positive vibes only!
The last thing I do before kicking my Sunday off is log in to YouTube and listen to a church sermon, preferably by One LA. This is the highlight of my day because I can usually always relate to the message and it puts me in better spirits. I've recently re-started my spiritual journey and I've found that until I can find a church that I'm happy with; the word is still the word no matter how I receive it. My favorites lately have been from Toure Roberts. - Ashleigh Hardin-Jones, Social Media Manager
Gynai
Gynai
When it comes to self-care for me, it'll sometimes be a moment, or it can end up being a whole day, depending on how my energy is.
The most important part of doing self-care for me is solitude. My phone goes on Do Not Disturb and Sage and Palo Santo gets lit so I can clear any and every bad vibe from my space. Then music is played, and that'll be my R&B Vibes playlist or my Good Vibes playlist, which is a combination of R&B and ratchetry, because who doesn't need a good ratchet song to make them feel good?
A very hot and steamy shower is brought into the self-care mix as well, which includes exfoliating everything, 'cause in that moment, I'm picturing me exfoliating my entire life. After moisturizing with my favorite body butter skin BUTTR. My favorite scent is the strawberry coco one. Omg. It will have you walking around smelling like an entire snack. I'll throw on an oversized hoodie, continue to play my music, and journal for a bit. - Gynai Kristol, Video Editor
Sheriden
Sheriden
I'm a creature of habit by nature, but typically my day to day involves a lot of pulling myself outside of my areas of comfort. It's necessary, it grows me, and also makes me stronger.
And to reward myself for that stretching, my self-care looks like practices that are routine and pour back into me.
One day out of the week, typically Sundays, I allow myself to wake up naturally (No 6:30 here, bih), I reflect through gratitude journaling, I do a mask, light a candle, read a book, wash my hair, dancing to music while I make a hearty meal. It's very much grounded in taking my time and doing things that make me feel good. Because I have more time on my self-care days, actions that get abbreviated throughout the week are extended and I can relax into each practice and not be concerned about the world. I am reminded that I am my world and I return home in that effort of oneness.
Some of the tools in my current self-care routine include The Seat of The Soul by Gary Zukav. Truly for-pleasure reading is hard to come by throughout the week due to the nature of my work so I savor the pages of whatever book I'm able to lose myself in. Peel & Glow 2 Step Mask by Soo'Ae has been blessing my melanin with an even brighter glow. And last but not least, Carol's Daughter green tea-infused Green Supreme Trio has been quenching my hair's thirst lately. It's all so simple, but effective. - Sheriden Chanel, Managing Editor
Taylor
Taylor
My self-care consists of some hardcore mental, physical, and spiritual alignment.
I can't get out of bed without my own special combination of Starbucks French Roast and Butter Pecan International Coffee Creamer. You can get a month's worth for $10 from your local grocery store. About two years ago, I stumbled across an exercise called The Miracle Morning, which includes six essential steps, summarized by the acronym SAVERS: Silence, Affirmations, Visualizations, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing.
After my miracle morning routine, I use St. Ives Apricot exfoliating scrub and witch hazel to make me feel fresh, beautiful, and ready to conquer the day. To finish off my self-care practices, my cousin recently gave me a bundle of white sage that I burn to cleanse my space of any negative energy or thoughts. - Taylor Honore, Daily Writer
Fontaine
Fontaine
Self-love and self-care for me is something that is closely linked to my spirituality and divine femininity.
I've been forced to be strong and responsible for others all my life, so the thing that keeps me grounded when I'm hurting or feeling weak is expressing my vulnerability. I do this through dance, as I embrace my creativity and feminine power - especially when I'm going through some kind of setback, heartbreak, or rejection from a guy; I love to pretend like I'm Beyonce! It isn't always pretty, sometimes it's filled with pain, but it's through the release, that it It works like a charm!
I'm also a tarot and holistic healing girl, so nothing is more "self-caring" than connecting to your higher self for guidance. Doing tarot helps me get to the root of any blockages within myself, and helps me get clear on how to heal them and move on. In order to get in the zone, I use daily meditation and affirmation rituals to connect with my "big self," and spirit guides. Being able to tap into stillness requires you to control your energy and upper chakras. You don't reach this level of oneness without self-care first.
Finally, nothing gets my self-care more together than getting my nails and my toes done. Especially when I've waited too long, and them acrylics, and them toes especially, need some heavy duty work! Keeping up with my appearance is an extension of my divine femininity. Respecting myself enough to maintain my own beauty standards is my self-care too. - Fontaine Felisha Foxworth, Wellness & Horoscope Writer
Jame
Jame
My self-care routine is rooted in ensuring that I always center myself.
One of the biggest changes I made that has changed my life around entirely is waiting till after 10 A.M. to check social media and emails. I won't even open the apps. Instead, I use the beginning of my morning to set my intentions for the day, to speak positive affirmations over myself, to pray, and to be one with my own thoughts before jumping into a busy day.
While I do a lot of beauty regimes as part of my self-care, another huge one I love to do is cleaning my room on Sundays. Growing up, I was taught not to work on the Lord's day, but there's just something about getting everything together right before you go to bed and waking up the next day ready to start your week. And lastly, another huge component of my self-care routine involves sleep!
Entrepreneurs and creatives are pushed to live a "no sleep" life to achieve their dreams, but I realized as soon as I began honoring my body with how I needed to decompress before sleep, how many hours I needed, and when it was time to tune out the world, I saw a world of difference that has now become a non-negotiable in my life. - Jame Jackson, Fashion & Beauty Writer
Joce
Joce
For me, self-care is all about cherishing moments.
It's so easy to get overwhelmed by the duties and responsibilities of life. Whenever I can just pause to appreciate the important things in life, I relish in those moments.
For example, every Sunday, I buy myself flowers; they remind me of joy, strength, and resilience. I am a firm believer in doing things that make you happy. I love a good meal and a good trip so I try to treat myself as much as I can. Then, there are the moments I spend with my tribes. They keep me grounded and lord knows they keep me sane. My tribes have helped me appreciate nature more especially now that I am living in Colorado. I am truly amazed by God's work in nature.
I also find solace in supporting causes that warm my heart. Along those lines, I try to work on projects that are making the world a better place in a real, genuine way. Above all, my faith is my truest form of self-care. From my morning ritual of a mini praise and worship session to my church home, there's nothing like my relationship with God. He's the only constant in my life. - Joce Blake, Style & Human Interest Writer
How do you do self-care? Let us know some of your favorite practices and products in the comments down below.
- 5 Beauty Products Perfect For Self-Care - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- How To Care For Stressed Out Skin - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Daily Routine for Healthy Body and Mind for Successful Women - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Signs Of Burnout, What To Do About It - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 45 Simple Self-Care Practices for a Healthy Mind, Body & Soul ›
- 20 Self-Care Practices for the Mind, Body and Soul | HuffPost ›
- How Clinicians Practice Self-Care & 9 Tips for Readers | Psych Central ›
- 21 Of The Best Self Care Practices Ever ›
- 10 Simple Ways to Practice Self-Care ›
- 25 Science-Backed Ways to Change Your Life by Taking Better Care ›
- 15 Self-Care Practices for Well-Being - Daring to Live Fully ›
- 15 Little Ways To Practice Self-Care And Improve Your Mood ›
- Health education programmes to improve foot self-care practices ... ›
- 134 Activities to Add to Your Self-Care Plan ›
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak