‘Bel-Air’ Star Olly Sholotan On Self-Love & How He Deals With Carlton’s Hate IRL
The first time I met Olly Sholotan was at a Tier NYC fashion show during New York Fashion Week in Brooklyn. I was already a fan of Bel-Air, so I knew exactly who he was when my friend introduced us. And, not too much to my surprise, he was the exact opposite of the character he plays in the series, Carlton Banks. A good actor evokes emotion, but it takes a phenomenal thespian to take the audience on a journey filled with mental and psychological turmoil for the first time since Gossip Girl’s Chuck Bass.
During our meeting, he shook my hand and greeted me with a genuine smile that was hard to forget. Fast forward just a few short months later, I dialed into the conference line excited to speak with Olly once again.
“I'm actually in a fitting right now, so if I have to take five seconds to put a shirt on, my apologies again,” Sholotan said during our phone interview for xoNecole. He continued to tell me about the current state of his mental health before we dove into our candid conversation.
“Honestly, my mental health is doing great. Because we're about a week and a half or two weeks away from wrapping on Bel-Air, there's kind of this energy of 'Holy shit, we did it,' but we did it again—twice. I was literally just talking to Morgan Cooper (Bel-Air creator/EP) about this earlier today. I feel like as an artist, I'm in this space right now where I'm kind of becoming the artist I've always dreamed of being."
(L-R) Coco Jones, Olly Sholotan, and Akira Akbar of NBC's 'Bel-Air' pose for a portrait.
Benjo Arwas/Getty Images
The Peacock original series takes a drama-suspense-filled approach from a Gen-Z lens, in contrast to the original ‘90s feel-good sitcom. Played by Sholotan himself, Carlton is someone viewers love to hate, and the character has some of the most controversial story arcs in the cast, but what makes Carlton, Will (Jabari Banks), and the Banks clan so relatable is that we can see ourselves in each character as we go through our own journeys of discovering our own redeeming qualities.
During our Tuesday afternoon chat, we spoke about how he loves on himself while he’s off-set, why it’s important for Black men to practice self-care, and which reboot characters he would never get relationship advice from.
xoNecole: How did you feel when you were first cast in 'Bel-Air' in comparison to you now amping up to wrap up production for the second season?
Olly Sholotan: It's funny because I don't think I've ever changed how I felt. I feel the same and different in a lot of ways, and from the moment I was cast, I think that there's an excitement that doesn't ever go away. There's the realization that your life is about to change in a way that is inconceivable and that is still a feeling that I experience every single day. Every single day, when I wake up before I go to work, before I go to set, there's that pinch me, I hope I'm not dreaming kind of feeling that doesn't go away.
In that way, it's different because there's a feeling of mastery that comes with just doing it two years now. We're about to wrap on the second season. A friend pointed out the other day that I shot 20 episodes of television, which when you put it like that, it's like along the way, I'm going to learn things. I'm a much different Olly now than when I started, and I feel like I've grown in so many ways that I'm really proud of.
xoN: One thing that I love about 'Bel-Air' is that it normalizes conversations in the first season about anxiety and coping mechanisms, especially as it pertains to Carlton's storyline. What's the importance of having conversations about mental health when it comes to Black men?
OS: I think as a community in general, I don't think we do enough to center self-care in a way that isn't just 'go get mani-pedis,' but also just take care of your mental health, take care of your wellbeing. Find ways to cope with the stresses of life that are healthy. Especially as Black men, there is a pressure to suck it up, be a man, and be better. That's something that we've all experienced to a certain extent.
What I think is beautiful about my generation and in the coming generation right after me is we're really looking at that in the face and saying, "We don't have to be that way. We can be different. We can be better,” and I think Bel-Air is one of the first shows in that. We're very much trying to lead by example in showing that there are ways you can talk about mental health as a Black community, as Black men, and do it in a healthy way that's productive.
xoN: What are some self-care tools that you lean into when you're off set to make sure that your own mind is at ease?
OS: Honestly, I be taking a lot of naps. I find that when there is a problem and I take a quick 15-minute nap and I come back to it, I'm like, 'First of all, that seems a lot more doable.' I think it's less about the nap and more about the perspective. When you're hammering away at a problem over and over again and you take a step back from it, take a 10-minute walk, take a second to breathe, that makes the problem feel less insurmountable.
I recently started journaling, and it's funny because I was never a journaling type of person. I'm like, 'Why would I write anything down? I was born on the computer.' But journaling and writing down my thoughts has helped me work through them a little better.
xoN: I'm not going to hold you. The first few episodes, well, and the majority of season one, I was not feeling Carlton. He was receiving a lot of hate, and a lot of fans don't know how to separate the character from the person. How did you feel when you were receiving a lot of that flack for a character that is nothing like you?
OS: Well, I mean, it's hard not to take it as a compliment. I'm going to be real with you because it is something that we as a creative team did on purpose. Carlton as a character isn't supposed to be someone you're supposed to like off the bat, at least in my head with the way I created that character. You're supposed to be presented with this flawed human that does a lot of things that you don't like. As the series goes on, you see more of yourself in him.
You're presented with this character that you don't really like, you think he's problematic, and as the season goes on and on, you're like, 'Dang, there's parts of him in me. I exhibit some of those traits. I can be like that.'
As far as me dealing with the hate, I mean, listen, the internet is the internet. I was born in '98. I think I started using the internet when I was however old a child is sentient enough to use the internet. I think I'm no stranger to how things can get out of control. I've learned to be able to separate myself. I know that the version of Olly that most people see on screen is just not the version of Olly that exists, and I've made peace with that.
"The internet is the internet... I've learned to be able to separate myself. I know that the version of Olly that most people see on screen is just not the version of Olly that exists, and I've made peace with that."
Vivien Killilea/Getty Images
Even going beyond the character, I think that there's an element of code-switching in all facets of life. I think the version of me that exists on Instagram, on Twitter, or whatever, it's so different than the version of me that my family sees at home. It's so different than the version of me that my coworkers see. It's different than the version of me that my loved ones see. I think that we sometimes forget when looking at the internet that whatever people are judging is a version of me that isn't all-encompassing, and that's okay sometimes.
xoN: What's a piece of relationship advice that you would give Carlton that you think that he desperately needs?
OS: Love yourself, my dude, because that's the thing. I think a lot of Carlton's problems come from a lack of self-love at the end of the day. Part of the journey he goes on in season two and beyond is that it's about learning to love your shortcomings, learning to love your successes, learning to love your failures, because that is what makes it a complete human being.
I think he puts a lot of pressure on himself to be perfect. No one's perfect, and I think the aspiration for perfection while accepting very little else can get you in trouble.
xoN: Which characters on the show do you believe would give you the best and worst love advice?
OS: Oh, Jazz (Jordan L. Jones), hands down, gives the best relationship advice. I mean, Jazz, he knows everything. He's been around the block, even though I don't know how old he is in the show. He's definitely older than Will and Carlton, but he's obviously not as old as Phil (Adrian Holmes) and Viv (Cassandra Freeman). Jazz gives [the] best advice, [and] Viv, too. Who would give the absolute worst advice? I don't know. I feel like that—as smooth as he is—Will be fucking up sometimes. So, he gives the worst advice. I just know it.
xoN: Overall, in real life, what's the best piece of self-love and wellness advice that you have ever received?
OS: Funny enough, it was from Will Smith. On the first day that we all got the role during season one, we were all sitting in the production office. We were about to do our first table read and Will couldn't be there, but he sent a message by proxy. He was like, "You guys are about to embark on the craziest journey of your lives. There will be ups, there will be downs, there will be left and rights, but lean on each other and take it one day at a time."
I very much sometimes get ahead of myself. I get very like, 'All right, well what's happening two months from now, two years from now?,' but I think the advice of taking it a day at a time, just living in this moment right here, has been an incredible act of self-love.
xoN: How do you define self-love, and what does self-love and wellness mean to you?
OS: For me, self-love is anything that's sustainable. Self-love is anything that you can wake up, do, go to bed, rinse and repeat for years and years. That's what self-love is. It's taking care of your immediate surroundings. That's not only your physical surroundings, but your psychological and mental surroundings too.
"Self-love is anything that's sustainable. Self-love is anything that you can wake up, do, go to bed, rinse and repeat for years and years. That's what self-love is."
Amy Sussman/Getty Images
xoN: What can we expect from the second season? Because the kids are itching. We want to know.
OS: Listen, you know I can't spoil anything, but I can tell you season two is going to be bigger. It's going to be more exciting. We have a lot more cameos, obviously. We already know Tatyana Ali is going to be in there, which is just incredible. What a phenomenal gift of her to give us her time. She's phenomenal. She's the most giving actress. She's phenomenal. It's truly a gift to have her with us.
I think that what I can say is you can expect quite a few more Will, Carlton shenanigans. Because I think that's something from the original series that people missed in season one, and you're getting quite a little bit of that in season two. And you can also be, rest assured, Carlton will be on his best and worst behavior.
For more of Olly Sholotan, follow him on Instagram @OllySho. The second season of Bel-Air is now streaming on Peacock.
Featured image by Amy Sussman/Getty Images
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert