Charlamagne Tha God On How He Balances Being A Husband, Father And Executive Producer
Charlamagne Tha God has never been one to be politically correct. As one third of the popular morning show,“The Breakfast Club," the radio personality doesn't hesitate to ask any and everything that’s on his mind, which has admittedly gotten him into some trouble over the years. But despite having made more enemies than friends, he’s always honest and true to his brand--and it's definitely paid off. Off the strength of his name alone he's snagged roles in television (Empire) and film (Ride Along), not to mention a shout out from Drake in the Grammy nominated diss record "Back to Back."
But what most people don’t know is that off the mic, Charlamagne is a family man. The South Carolina native is a husband and father of two little girls, and he’s adamant about keeping his personal life off social media.
Before the 35-year-old graced the airwaves--hosting the “Brilliant Idiots” podcast in the afternoons and the MTV series, Uncommon Sense at night--he was running the streets, landing him a few jail stints before an internship at a radio station showed him that he could make a career using his mouthpiece. So he cleaned up his act, took the necessary steps to change his life, and began to make a name for himself as a tell-it-like-it-is radio host.
But the road to redemption wasn't easy. In the process of becoming who he is today, he had to be humbled. Four times, to be exact. Being fired from various radio positions allowed him to see the bigger picture in what seemed like constant setbacks. After his initial layoff he asked himself, “Was I doing everything that I was supposed to do?” He admits to initially “abusing” the fame and celebrity of being a radio personality, but has since decided to only use his platform to empower others.
xoNecolehad a chance to speak exclusively to Charlamagneabout his new book "Black Privelage", a new series that he’s executive producing and the importance of showing his daughters what love is by marrying his high school sweetheart. And let's just say that we’ve definitely discovered a different side of the radio personality, off the air.
You are currently juggling a demanding career with fatherhood. What will you tell your daughters (who are seven and four-months-old) about love, relationships, and knowing their worth?
You have to show your kids love. That’s one of the reasons why I wanted to get married. Me and the mother of my kids have been together since high school. When you have your seven-year-old daughter asking why you and mommy don’t have the same last name, that affects you as a man. It made me think, ‘Well, why don’t we? What’s stopping me from taking that next step?’
Love is something you have to witness. It’s good to see two parents living in the house, embracing each other, laughing and talking; you have to lead by example.
I spoil my daughter, not only is she growing up in a loving household, I spoil her so no man is going to be able to provide for her because she’s got me.
She also understands the value of a dollar, and how hard her parents work to provide the life she has. At seven-years-old, she’s sassy. She already has plans and goals and things that she wants to accomplish, and I’m not going to let anyone take that from her. I’m going to let her be a strong as she wants; I’m not going to let her be submissive to anyone. You have to really empower your children and teach them that they’re bosses, kings, queens and goddesses.
On set of MTV's "Uncommon Sense."
I’ve always said having two girls is “The Player's Curse.” Whenever you’ve broken a lot of hearts in your life or you’ve treated women a certain way, God will give you women to raise. Everyone says it’s a blessing, I believe that, but I also believe it’s a little bit of karma because it makes me think about how I deal with women. The way I treat any woman is how I would want someone to treat my daughters. I already know someone is gonna read this and say, “look what you did to Lil Mama” (referring to the infamous July 2011 interview on The Breakfast Club where he made the rapper and actress cry). First of all that was five years ago, and my daughters will be well equipped to snap back at jokes better than Lil Mama.
How are you able to keep your personal life with your wife and kids separate from your public persona?
First of all, I’m not raising my kids via social media. I never felt like that was a place for my family to be. I don’t knock anyone who does it, but I don’t want my family on Facebook or Twitter. That’s something I chose not to do. Some of my homies have told me that they wish they would have listened to me and not put their kids on social media because now when they’re out in the streets, strangers recognize their kids. We live in a creepy world where people want to take photos with celebrities family members and that doesn’t make sense to me. I see girls taking pics with Drake’s father and that’s just weird to me.
You have been fired four times but you never gave up. What have you learned from those times you were let go, and how did it help you to grow personally and professionally?
On the set of hit show "Empire."
When I think about getting fired in radio, it never phased me because the extremes I come from before radio were much more harsh. [Over the holidays] I was literally back at home sitting on my mom’s porch looking back on the times where the police came here and arrested me. There was a time the police had my father and I sitting in the same cell for a weekend because they had this crazy idea that we were some kind of drug kingpins, which was so far from the truth. Those experiences were harsh, so in order to bounce back from that, I had to change my lifestyle. I moved myself out the hood and went back to night school and got my diploma. I said I wasn’t going to sell drugs anymore and I wasn’t going to hang out with the same crew. I worked at Taco Bell, in the mall and I work in telemarketing; if I could bounce back from all of those situations, getting fired was light. Every time I got laid off, God humbled me, showed me the responsibility that comes with having the power of the microphone. Once I learned that, the sky was the limit. Everything else was a learning experience. In life I feel you either win or you learn. When I think about all of the times I’ve been fired, I wouldn’t change anything.
You have several radio and TV projects in production. You seem to be in your prime right now, so do you take every opportunity that’s presented to you? How do you make sure you’re not burning yourself out?
[Tweet "I never do things for money. Everything I do is because I love it. I do things for purpose."]
I never do things for money. Everything I do is because I love it. I do things for purpose. When it comes to the Brilliant Idiots podcast, it’s a way for me to express myself more and go into detail about things that I’m feeling. I started doing it because I like creating content with my friend, Andrew Schulz, now we’re selling out shows in London doing the podcast live.
Radio is my love and my passion. I wake up everyday enjoying it and we’ve [The Breakfast Club] had tremendous success. iHeart Radio recently signed me to another five-year contract, that’s effortless.
As far as Uncommon Sense on MTV, I’ve always wanted to do a late night talk show. I used to watch Arsenio, Chris Rock, Bill Maher and Chelsea Handler, it was something I always wanted to do. I’m doing it because I love to do it and it’s an opportunity for me to give other voices a chance to be heard. It’s always meaning over money. I’m never doing things for a check.
I can’t burn myself out because everything that I’m doing is being fueled by love and that isn’t a resource that can get burned out.
I came from South Carolina to New York and worked for Wendy Williams for free for a year. Wendy and her husband told me they couldn’t pay me, but they gave me a place to stay. You tell me how many kids nowadays would recognize opportunity if there wasn’t a paycheck attached to it. I recognized the opportunity to do something I loved to do on a large scale and I took it.
On air with Patti LaBelle for "The Breakfast Club."
In the age of social media, people don’t necessarily have to have any talents or viable skills to land their own TV or radio show. What is your talent and how were you able to discern that this was your purpose?
Growing up I was always a radio junkie. As a kid I would turn on the local radio station’s “Top 9 at 9” I always knew who all of the radio jocks were and I would take my cassette tapes and record different songs on the radio. Initially, I wanted to rap because that’s every guy in the hood’s dream. You have to understand that a young black man just wants to be successful and when we see other people that look like us that are well off, they’re usually in entertainment or playing sports so I wanted to do that.
I have a tattoo of Wolverine holding a microphone on my arm because I thought I was going to be a rapper, but I didn’t realize that mic symbolized my radio career. I didn’t have any formal training, but I wasn’t doing what everyone else did cause. I used to sit back and wonder why radio personalities weren’t asking the most obvious questions or really giving their opinions on the music or the artists. I always wondered why they didn’t sound human. So if you ask me what my talent is, I would say the gift of gab. But I hate that people think this is so easy. I’ll go online and I’ll see someone say that such and such is “the next C. The God” and automatically I assume that they do radio, but I check them out and they’re just tweeting! That’s just words! Get on the mic and let's see if you can speak well enough to make people gravitate towards you. Keeping someone entertained for four hours is difficult. Wendy Williams has a gift--she can literally turn the mic on and talk for four hours straight, she doesn’t need a co-host or anyone else in the room; she can just find things to talk about and that’s hard to do, I’m still perfecting that. We’ve brought interns in the room on The Breakfast Club and we’ve had them read Angela Yee’s “Rumor Report,” and they sound terrible! Then they realize how hard it is to convey their thoughts to millions of people.
I have heard a few people say they don't know a successful person who doesn't read. As an avid reader, what books have impacted you the most?
I tell everyone go get as much education on Toltec wisdom. Don Miguel Ruiz has written a series of books: The Four Agreements, Voice of Knowledge, Mastery of Love, and The 5th Agreement, they even come in a boxed set. Those books have had so much impact on my life and have reinforced a lot of things I already knew.
Also, Robert Green’s, 48 Laws of Power, The 33 Strategies of War and Mastery. Sometimes books just reinforce how we’re already living and it just gives us the language for it. The Law of Attraction is something that I’ve always believed in. I’ve always believed that if I thought about something it would happen so I read something like The Secret by Rhonda Byrne or The Answer by John Assaraf, it just gave me a reference point to explain my thought process. All of those books shaped my mind into the way I think and move right now.
[Tweet ""A lot times people have dreams and aspirations, but they aren’t putting in the work." @cthagod"]
Since you’re in a coveted position to provide people with opportunities, how do you decipher who’s ready to be “put on?” What do you tell people who feel like they’re always overlooked for opportunities and no one wants to give them a foot into the door?
I believe the universe helps those who help themselves. Even the Bible says “faith without works is dead.”A lot times people have dreams and aspirations, but they aren’t putting in the work and create the opportunity to be seen. If you’re dope, I should hear about it and not just from you. If you’re really putting in the work and putting your feet to the ground the way you need to be, other people will speak for you and you will get noticed. When people see you building your own fan base then they do your research and they’re like “this guy or this girl; there’s actually something there,” of course they’re going to assist you and lend out a helping hand.
When I was doing radio in Columbia I started perfecting my craft, going to different websites All Hip-Hop or SOHH sending my interviews to them back in 2004; I started to get noticed and that’s when someone helped me because they saw me helping myself, and that person was Wendy Williams. She gave me an opportunity to sink or swim. That’s the other thing about opportunity people don’t realize, I can give you the opportunity, but that doesn’t mean that you’re going to prosper, all it means is that you get a chance and Wendy gave me a chance to prove myself and I think I did pretty okay.
What are you working on in the New Year?
I’m transitioning into executive producing shows because I know a lot of people that are talented and come to me with great ideas and I just happen to be in a position to make some of these ideas come to fruition. I’m the EP of two shows that have already been picked up. We just shot the pilot for one of the series with Rick Ross and Va$htie. I’m also doing another show with rapper Noreaga. He’s a foodie so we’re going to make him the black Anthony Bourdain and let him go to all these different places and eat.
[Tweet "I believe when you’re placed in positions of power it's so you can empower others. -@cthagod"]
I’m working and putting myself in a position to help others do the things that they want to do. My book is out now. I’m always working! I see Steve Harvey, Ryan Seacrest and Wendy Williams and I’m going to be that for my generation. In doing that, the biggest thing that I want to do is empower other people.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
New year, new dating style. Courtesy of a former sugar baby.
Being a sugar baby had its (obvious) perks, but the most significant ones didn’t center around the material benefits. To date, I have a bigger appreciation for the lessons I’ve learned and applied them to my dating life.
Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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