Numa Perrier Of Black&Sexy TV Talks BET Deal, Ownership & Reshaping Your History
Numa Perrier has always had a knack for storytelling. At the age of eight, she was penning short stories and dramatic romance novels—about adults, not kids. In high school, she considered journalism but found that she preferred writing plays and monologues over news reporting. And when she later got behind the lens of a camera, she fell in love with the idea of bringing her stories to life—both through screenwriting and acting.
“I read a lot. I had a very vivid imagination, and my world was just not normal, so it just fed me in that way to not be like everyone else,” she says.
The co-founder and her team at Black&Sexy TV have mastered the art of turning real-life situations into storylines that will have you sipping tea while waiting for the next dramatic scene to unfold.
On September 17th the world tuned in as the entertainment and lifestyle network transitioned from the computer screen to the small screen for the debut of their popular YouTube web series Roomieloverfriends—a show depicting the lives of two roommates who blurred the lines between friendship and relationship after a one-night rendezvous turned into an all out love affair.
Although it’s been six years since the 2009 launch of Black&Sexy TV--a web-based (YouTube) channel featuring webisodes geared towards people of color, which to-date has over 114,000 subscribers--it seems like just yesterday they were meeting with executives at BET to discuss the transition from Internet to television.
“It went really fast, we started meeting [with BET], and it was a matter of months,” Perrier says “No one could believe how fast, but they were determined, and they really wanted us a part of their fall programming.”
Roomieloverfriends is just the beginning of their television takeover. They’ve also cut a deal to run Sexless—a series about four female friends navigating the dating world while remaining abstinent and celibate—and Hello Cupid, where two best friends dive into the world of online dating. Their first show, The Couple, executive produced by Spike Lee, has also been in development with HBO for two years, which they hope will be released soon.
“With BET we were able to work really fast because we were just taking what we’ve already done and putting it on a screen, but The Couple—we’re developing that into a new format, it has to go through different approvals, it’s a longer process.”
It all seems like a modern day film fairytale. One of instant success after the integration of social media catapulted the content creators to the forefront of the web series revolution. Although Perrier credits YouTube for allowing them to gain visibility at a fraction of the cost, she admits that building a fan base and viewership didn’t come without its challenges.
First there was the funding. The founders funneled their own money into their vision and what little return they received on their investment was recycled into making another show or hiring another team member. With each successful video, they were able to build the foundation of their business brick by brick.
There was also trouble with finding a platform to launch their web series. They initially tried creating their own site, but failed. After multiple attempts they finally turned to YouTube, which offered both technical support and partnership opportunities once they started gaining a strong following through consistent content—something that she says they wouldn’t have been able to pay for on their own. Saving dollars through YouTube enabled them to create more content to attract a larger audience.
“I always say content is king, no matter what anybody says. If you’re not making content and finding ways to improve on and be consistent with that content, you need to find another way, because that is the main way to push through,” Perrier says.
With consistent content came the offers from large television networks. Perrier believes that having ownership and not having to rely on Hollywood executives to green light their projects gives them an advantage over other content creators who are trying to break down Hollywood’s doors.
[Tweet "If it’s about them opening a door for you, I think that we’ll always be disappointed. "]
“If it’s about them opening a door for you, I think that we’ll always be disappointed. Because even if they open the door and let us in, what happens when we get inside? Are you really welcomed at the table? Are you getting what everyone else is getting? Will you be invited again? There’s this constant anxiety of am I acceptable? And for us we’re always excited for any entity to come talk with us about what we’re doing and how we can partner up together. Hollywood is coming to us; we’re open to all conversations every time we make a deal that is good for our brand. But at the end of the day, it is ownership that matters to us.”
It’s obvious that Perrier is passionate about this topic. Watching many of her peers struggle to get into television and film, even with their own level of success, is a topic that hasn’t been ignored. An article on Indiewire noted that this year 73 pilots are in the works that will feature black actors, at least half with leading roles. However, the percentage of pilots that actually make it to television vary by broadcast and cable network. Although it seems as if Hollywood is embracing black television, even honoring a few our leading ladies at this year’s Emmy Awards, there’s still concern that there aren’t enough characters—or executives—of color being represented in Hollywood.
Recently, movie producer Effie Brown, who serves as a producer on HBO’s Project Greenlight, attempted to defend her reasoning for wanting a diverse directing team over a script centered around a black female prostitute character, in which fellow producer Matt Damon interrupts her to say, “when you’re talking about diversity, you do it in the casting of the film, not the casting of the show.”
In her New York Times article, Issa Rae, who recently scored a pilot deal with HBO for her new show “Insecure,” notes that behind the scenes it can be very white, making it difficult for our stories to get told.
And in the words of Viola Davis—the first African-American woman to win an Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actress in a drama—“The only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity.”
And we haven’t even begun to talk about the brothers.
Perrier believes the solution lies within being our own boss and not relying on the powers that be to welcome us with open arms.
“It’s ownership that gets us out of bed in the mornings, and it’s ownership that makes us not have to kiss anyone’s ass. If none of these people come to us, we still have our own thing. Trying to get into the Hollywood door is always a mix of how do I get through this thing with dignity? Every little thing is about trying to be accepted by people who weren’t going to invite you in until they saw dollar signs around your head.”
To those looking to break into the industry without waiting on Hollywood, she offers this:
“The way the Internet is set up now, if you feed your fans, you will feed yourself well. Impress your audience, don’t impress those executive—they don’t care about you. And the ones who really do care about you, they will show it with their actions, and then have that conversation and make a deal. That’s how you do it. Otherwise, focus on your audience.”
[Tweet "If you feed your fans, you will feed yourself well."]
The House That Numa Built
Perrier’s wisdom stems from over a decade of experience creating and crafting content both in front and behind the camera.
It was 2007 when Perrier was first scouted to join the Black&Sexy TV crew. At the time the Beverly Hills Playhouse trained actress was an LA transplant looking to get her big break in acting and producing. She had starred in a few television shows (General Hospital) and a number of short films, but it was her own production, Judi: A Series of Memories, that would allow her to really flex her creative chops. The dramatic short, which was based off her relationship with her sugar-addicted diabetic foster mom, was both poetic and poignant. She recounts the experience on her personal blog, House of Numa:
When my Mom died - I felt as if the air had been sucked out of me. Nothing could prepare me for the impact, the despondency, the grief that slammed into me with a blunt force. She was gone. As was my father, as were two of my brothers. Too many losses. Writing it now I feel again the twist in my belly, the tension and grip of hanging on to the memories. I slowly crawled out of the pain and eventually regained focus. I never lost sight of what I wanted in life, but I was operating in a numb blur.
Some years later I was able to make a film that extracted the memories of my relationship to my mother. I wanted to carve out the emotional tapestry of my perspective. This was my first film made with the close collaboration of friend Taye Hansberry. I knew very little about cameras and editing at the time, but this project was a milestone for my expansion as an artist. It was the first time I put the voice of my writing into a visual form.
Telling stories, her story, would become the foundation of her films. In her second film, La Petit Mort, she explores the depths of femininity through the simplicity of everyday tasks such as putting on a bra or hiking up a pair of pantyhose over the folded layers of the stomach. Working on the project took her back to her unconventional childhood growing up on a farm in Washington. Living with her white foster mom, black father, and adopted siblings gave her a different perspective on life and who she was as a person.
“Me knowing who I was really was dictated by my own self. Not ‘this is how things are done,’ or ‘this is how you turn into a woman.’ None of those things were really laid out, so it just kept me distinct.”
Even how she defines the idea of being feminine is abstract, and certainly reflective of her more fluid upbringing. To Perrier, being feminine means being open and letting things in, both literally and figuratively. It’s being flexible, not boxed into some rigid concept. “I don’t assign words like ‘weak’ or ‘soft’ to being feminine,” she says. “I assign openness and a willingness to lean towards something as being feminine.”
In a sense, she explores who she is and her identity through each film and each role that she creates—ones that are often pulled from personal experiences.
When writing for the show The Couple (created by Jeanine Daniels and co-founder Dennis Dortch), Numa and Dennis--who share a daughter together--funneled their own relationship woes into the scripts. It’s part of what makes the series so relatable—it’s more reality than imagination.
Having worked together since 2007 when Dortch discovered Perrier’s work on Myspace, the pair have managed to find their rhythm in balancing work and romance. On set they’re very much in work mode: utilizing their complementing skill sets to continue studying and building their digital empire along with their Creative Director Brian Ali Harding, creating content that can be monetized through their paid subscription service, and, as of recently, managing their collaborations with BET, HBO, and Issa Rae Productions.
Perrier attributes their family-like business structure to her ability to balance her work and family life. On her blog she recalls carrying a five-week-old Rockwelle on set while they finished the final two days of filming Roomieloverfriends. Being able to make decisions on her own terms without the discomfort that often comes with being managed by a subsidiary party has been vital for Perrier.
“If I want to come with my child and breastfeed all day, then that’s what I’m going to do because that’s my set. Everyone just had to accept that ‘hey, Numa’s here with her baby.’ Everyone was onboard with it, and she has grown up with everyone. I almost want to cry when I talk about it because everyone has been with her since before she was born, and because we were doing our own thing, we were able to integrate a family life into the work life.”
Without Dortch, Perrier says she doesn’t know how she would be able to manage her heavy workload and motherhood.
“When other women and my friends ask me, ‘well how do you it?’ I say, ‘well first of all you have to have the right father in place.’ I wouldn’t be able to do this if I were a single mother; I don’t know how single mothers do it. I really, really don’t.”
Being partners in business and at home certainly doesn’t come without its challenges. Perrier, who is six years younger than Dortch, admits that she can be handful (“I know there are times where he’s thinking I’m going to kill this woman because she drives me crazy”), but like managing their employees they’ve set guidelines to help manage their relationship. No fighting, just loving. And occasional dates that tend to flow into wrok conversations, which she says is the better relationship.
“When he’s in the director chair and I’m in the actress chair, that’s really healthy for us.”
I jokingly tell her that their relationship reminds me of Salim and Mara Brock Akil—minus the marriage part.
She chuckles, “No, we’re not married, but his time is running out!” She’s kind of joking, but not really. “It’s getting to the point that we have some things we need to sort out fast. You know, I’m a romantic, why not? We should. We’ll have a Black&Sexy wedding. I’ll keep you posted.”
In the meantime, they’re doing what works for them. I also ask her if with all of this work, does she ever take a break or go on a vacation.
“We celebrate a lot. We find any reason to celebrate. I always have to tell [Dortch] we’re going to celebrate. We’re going to get a bottle, and pour it out. We’re going to invite everyone over and celebrate this thing right now. But, a spa day is in order.”
She pauses as she tries to remember the last time she escaped from the hectic day-to-day of her crazy creative life.
“Oh! I did go to the spa for my birthday, in December. It was the first time in years. Me and mother…our birthdays are a week apart. So I took her to the spa for me and her.”
The experience was especially significant given that she’s still in the process of building a relationship with her birth mother. As an immigrant from Haiti who arrived in America with four kids under the age of five, the single mother decided that it was best to find someone who would better take care of her kids, and set up a private adoption in hopes that they would one day be reunited once they were adults. Though Perrier tries not to hold any resentment against her mom, she admits that she suffers from abandonment issues, and that it’s something she’s been actively working on through therapy sessions and identifying areas of improvement, and even opening herself up as a confidant and mentor to people who’ve been through similar situations.
“I try to connect with them, encourage them, and be someone that they can possibly lean onto. And I try to set a different path for my own daughter who has a different history already.”
She’s made a point to reshape her own history, remembering the words of friend and designer Melody Ehsani:
[Tweet "I am not my history."]
“It really spoke to me, and it was kind of a precise way of saying you don’t have to do what your parents did; you don’t have to do what your culture has done in history; you are not your history; you are your own unique person.”
“That’s something that I really believe in, mainly because my history has been so fragmented,” she continues. “I couldn’t look to my past and say this is who I am, because then I’m taking on things I may not want to take on. If I am my past, and no one in my past has ever lived their dreams, does that mean I continue the cycle of not living my dreams? Or nobody ever had a name for themselves, do I continue that because those are things that have happened for me or even in my childhood? I really don’t believe in that, and I think that we’re capable of doing whatever it is that we want to do.”
As a black woman, mother, artist, businesswoman, and visionary—she’s certainly redefining her history and telling her own story.
Catch Black&Sexy TV's Roomieloverfriends on BET, Wednesdays at 11PM/10PM CT.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert