
Not An Ordinary Cramp: Here's What Your Menstrual Cramps Might Be Trying To Tell You

My last menstrual cramps were so severe that I thought that I was giving birth to the son of Satan.
Fortunately, I'm no different than any other woman who experiences menstrual cramps, and I do what I can to minimize the pain of what feels like giving birth to a demon. But what happens when those cramps are more severe than normal? Do you go get the Holy Oil and a Bible, or do you cry on the phone to your OB/GYN while you're doubled over in pain?
Sure, you can do both, but if your menstrual cycle has you turning green, outgrowing your clothes, and turning into “The Hulk", you should probably call your OB/GYN. Or if you have to be confined to your bed, or a wheelchair, and can't get out of it for several days, your body may be telling you that you have some issues that you need to take care of.
Here are four wellness issues specific to women that start with cramping, but could turn out to be a much more serious issue.
1. PELVIC INFLAMMATORY DISEASE (PID).
By "fix it" I mean the pain. Oh the pain!
According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, PID is an infection caused by bacteria in your vagina or cervix. When that bacteria gets in your womb, fallopian tubes, or ovaries, they can cause an infection, which equals horrible pain. Most of the time, the bacteria is a result of a sexually transmitted infection, like gonorrhea or chlamydia. This is why you should never have unprotected sex.
Symptoms: Fever or chills, increased foul smelling or abnormal vaginal discharge, dull pain or tenderness in the lower abdomen (number one sign), nausea, vomiting, pain with peeing and pain during sex.
2. FIBROIDS
These are muscular tumors that grow on the walls of your uterus. Fibroids are usually non-
cancerous, and they can be as small as an apple seed, or as large as a grapefruit. Age, obesity, ethnic groups (black women are more likely to develop fibroids than white women), and family history are all factors that can increase a woman's chances of getting fibroids.
Symptoms: heavy bleeding, prolonged periods (less than 7days) pelvic pressure or pain or bloating sensation in your abdomen, pelvis or lower back), pain during sex and frequent urination.
3. ENDOMETRIOSIS
This is a disorder most common among women in their 30s and 40s. Bustle explains it best:
Endometriosis is a disorder wherein the lining of your uterus decides to take itself out on an adventure to see the wide world of your innards and grows outside your uterus. Since it maintains its identity as endometrial tissue, it thickens and bleeds with your menstrual cycle — but the blood has no place to go! The result? Irritated tissue that develops into scar tissue or adhesions. Basically, this road trippin' tissue wreaks havoc on your pelvic area, which can cause severe pain. It can also mess with your fertility by obstructing the egg's path — around one-third of women with endometriosis have trouble getting pregnant.
Symptoms: PAIN with everything... with bowel movements, with menstral cramps, during and after sex, pain in your lower back, excessive bleeding and difficulty getting pregnant (infertility - yikes!)
Copper IUD
4. COPPER IUD
This thing is a non-permanent and non-hormonal birth control medicine that lasts for 10 years. The IUD is placed inside the woman's uterus (by a licensed doctor, may I add). It works by releasing copper, which immobilizes sperm and prevents egg implantation.
There has been serious issues associated with the use of copper IUDs in women. Dr. Gangemi says that some problems associated with the copper IUD include hormonal problems, or the copper oxidizing and causing damage to the cervix and uterus.
According to Dr. Oz contributor Nurse Alice Benjamin, the copper IUD is not for everyone, and not all IUDs are made of copper. She says,
ParaGard is the only cooper IUD approved in the United States. Either way, women with the following [well woman issues] should steer clear to avoid any complications from cooper IUDs:
- If you have uterine abnormalities that interfere with the placement or retention of an IUD
- a pelvic infection, such as pelvic inflammatory disease
- Uterine or cervical cancer
- If you have unexplained vaginal bleeding
- If you are allergic to any component of cooper IUDs
- If you have a disorder that causes too much copper to accumulate in your liver, brain and other vital organs (Wilson's disease)
- Are at high risk of a sexually transmitted infection, and won't use condoms
- Or if you have had previous problems with an IUD
Symptoms: Severe bleeding, severe pain in your belly, smelly discharge, you have signs of pregnancy, and you just ate a kitten. Okay, maybe you didn't eat a kitten, but if you have the other symptoms, that's bad.
If you don't have any of these symptoms, then congratulations! You're a normal woman. Here are some self care tips that could possibly help you feel better if your cramps are cramping your style.
1. EXERCISE
I know it sounds like a curse word right now, but exercise truly helps ease menstrual cramps. Exercise releases beta-endorphins, that can immensely ease period cramps. Try some deep squats, aerobic exercise, and yoga to help ease menstrual pain.
Nurse Alice says,
The better shape you're in and the more physically active you are, the less likely you are to suffer from chronic aches and pains, including menstrual cramps. Trying yoga positions that target the pelvis and lumbar region, where period pain is the worst, have been known to be helpful.
2. CHANGE YOUR DIET
Some women swear that when they switch to a high-fiber, low-fat diet, their cramps feel better. Try eating more nuts, whole grains, veggies, and dark fruits when your cramps are starting to cramp your style.
3. WATER
Speaking from personal experience (and remember, my cramps are pretty terrible), drinking lots of water helps my cramps tremendously. Even when you're not on your menstrual cycle, you should be drinking, at least a half of a gallon of water per day. But I noticed that my cramps feel better when I drink closer to a gallon of water a day. Trust me, it works!
4. SEX
Many women think sex during their cycle is as gross as seeing Ben Carson tongue kissing his wife on TV. But turns out, it's not that gross (sex on your cycle, not the Ben Carson thing).
According to UC Santa Barbara,
Additionally, many women who engage in sex during menstruation report that their menstruation seems to end sooner than if they had not had sexual intercourse. This is plausibe, as the muscle spasms of orgasm may allow menstrual flow to come out quicker than usual. Furthermore, the hormones that your body releases during sex (such as oxytocin) help relieve the menstrual cramps, depression, and irritability associated with premenstrual syndrome (PMS).
Please note that there is no guarantee that you won't get pregnant if you get your swerve on during your moon, so there's that.
But either way, I'm sure that if you have sex on your cycle, you're not going to knock anything loose. So grab your towel, your partner, or a toy if you're not cool with doing it with your lover, and get to getting.
5. MEDICINE AND A HOT WATER BOTTLE
After reading this, some women are still going to go back to using Motrin and a hot water bottle. It's been a great remedy to cure unruly menstrual cramps for ages, and it works very well. If you're not feeling the other options, there's nothing wrong with taking it old school, and drugging yourself to a little bit of pain relief.
Most doctors don't object to women using over-the-counter medicines to help with period pain, like Motrin or Advil. But it's better to consult your doctor or pharmacist about your symptoms before you go cherry picking medicine in the drug store. Just saying.
Nurse Alice says that a hot water bottle helps to east cramps because the heat opens the blood vessels and improves blood flow, so the pain dissipates. She also says,
Take a hot bath, or place a heating pad or hot water bottle on your lower belly. Those stick-on heat packs that you can find on drugstore shelves can work, too, if you don't have time to sit at home.
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
It's never okay to ignore the pain away if the above remedies does nothing to help you. If you feel that your cramps are more severe than normal, Nurse Alice says that it could be warning signs of a more serious health issue. Call your healthcare provider if:
- Your pain lasts longer than you're accustomed to
- You have a fever
- You start vomiting or feel nauseated.
- You're bleeding heavy than normal.
- You think you could be pregnant.
Nurse Alice Benjamin is a nationally board certified and award winning Cardiac Clinical Nurse Specialist with over a decade of experience in cardiovascular health. She is the author of “Curb Your Cravings: 31 Foods to Fool Your Appetite," a Senior Fellow at the Center of Health, Media and Policy at Hunter College in New York ,and recently joined the ShareCare family of top national media health experts. Some of her recent television appearances include The Dr. Oz Show, The Doctors, Dr Drew, HLN News Now, FOX News, TruTV In Session, America Live with Megyn Kelly, Dr. Steve Show and DC Breakdown. Visit her website at nursealicebenjamin.com.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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This Is What It Really Means To Heal Your Relationship With Money
Riddle me this: If money were your partner, what kind of relationship would you be in?
Would the relationship be one that's supportive and secure? Would it be built on things like trust and mutual respect? Or would it be more like a rollercoaster, varying between hot and cold, stressful, ridden with anxiety and insecurity? For a lot of us, the parallels might be parallel-ing, as the relationship we have with money mirrors some of the same unhealthy patterns we’ve had in romantic ones: fear of abandonment, emotional avoidance, lack of boundaries, or the belief that we have to earn our rest, ease, or abundance.
Now, I've read enough of The Psychology of Money to know that our relationship with money is an emotional one. So, it's not just about what you make or how you spend, it's about how money makes you feel. And like any relationship in your life, if you're not paying attention to the emotional patterns controlling your reality, money can quickly become a source of shame, anxiety, stress, or self-sabotage. This is why healing your relationship with money has to start within.
That's something Sasha Suresh knows firsthand. As the founder of Jolii Cosmetics and Full Ritúal, an award-winning wellness brand, she’s built a 7-figure business rooted in soulful alignment, intention, and yes, financial abundance. But it didn’t begin there. Now through her 1:1 coaching and signature course The Million Mastery Method, Sasha teaches women how to rewrite their money stories, shift out of survival mode, and reclaim their power.
“There have been key moments when I realized that money wasn’t just about numbers,” she shares. “It was deeply connected to how I saw myself.”
For Sasha, that turning point was recognizing how financial anxiety was showing up as a mismatch between the value she created and what she believed she deserved to receive. “I also saw that the more money I made, the more fear I had about losing it all and the need to be wanting more and more. This recognition marked the beginning of my journey to heal and redefine my relationship with money because money is essentially just energy and should be viewed as just that. Money is the means for us to do other things and it is not the end all be all.”
Unpacking What's Holding You Back
A lot of us are carrying hidden beliefs about money we don’t even realize we’re repeating. These money beliefs might sound like:
- “Money is hard to come by.”
- “More money means more problems”
- “I’m not good with money.”
- “I'll be paying back this debt forever.”
- “I’ll never make more money.”
And while some of those beliefs may seem harmless or even rational depending on your financial situation, Sasha explains these are signs of unhealed money wounds. “There are so many signs indicating an unhealthy relationship with money and most of the time these go unnoticed because we’re so conditioned to see them as the norm and they’re a part of us,” she says. “I used to have major financial anxiety where even small financial decisions would cause me stress or I would be swiping my cards like there was no end to it. There was no in-between. My financial decisions were dependent on my emotions which can be very detrimental in the long run.”
She continues, “The tendency to undercharge for your services or accept a lower pay than what you truly deserve is a sign that your inner narrative about worth is still catching up with your actual value. And the most common of all might be avoidance – steering clear of detailed money management because it brings up old, unresolved feelings.”
At the root of it all? An unhealthy relationship with money and a nervous system that had learned to equate money with fear.
Where It All Begins
Oftentimes, our relationship with money is shaped long before we ever earn our first paycheck. In fact, our relationship with money tends to mirror what we saw while growing up from our parents or what we've experienced through societal conditioning. “If you grew up in a home where money was a source of stress or secrecy, you might carry invisible beliefs like ‘I need to suffer before I can succeed’ or ‘My value is tied to how much I earn,’” Sasha says.
She notes that many of us have internalized the idea that wealth must come through sacrifice, hustle, or even through compromising our morals. In some communities and cultures, money can even be viewed as a source of corruption.
“This conditioning often leads to cycles of overworking, guilt when money flows effortlessly, or self-sabotage to return to the 'comfort' of scarcity. We’re taught that success must be earned through hardship, so you might dismiss opportunities that feel joyful or aligned as 'not real work,'” she explains. “These narratives can create subconscious resistance to abundance, where earning more triggers guilt rather than celebration.”
Healing Your Money Wounds
Healing your relationship with money isn’t about making dramatic shifts overnight. It's about becoming aware of your wounds, knowledgeable of your patterns, and living a life more aligned with a different belief system that is rooted in feeling worthy, feeling safe, and allowing flow.
Below, Sasha shares some of the most common money blocks she sees in her coaching work, and how to begin healing them:
1. Scarcity Thinking
One of the biggest blocks to abundance is the belief that "there's never enough." A scarcity mindset creates a loop of anxiety that leads to clinging to every dollar like it's your last, rejecting opportunities even when there's alignment, or constantly feeling like you're behind in life even though you're right on time. “Your scarcity script writes your reality,” she explains. “If you narrate limitations, your world shrinks to match exactly that.”
She encourages shifting this mindset by asking yourself: What if I acted like abundance is already here? Making aligned decisions from that place can be transformative.
2. Fear of Success or Rejection
Sometimes, the fear isn’t about failing, it’s about what might happen if you succeed. You may wonder if more money will change how others perceive you, or worry that you’ll lose yourself in the process. “This fear often manifests as procrastination, undercharging, or downplaying wins,” she says. A helpful shift is to start celebrating through what Sasha calls “micro-victories.” “Each celebration rewires your nervous system to associate success with safety, not threat.”
3. Undervaluing Yourself
If you constantly discount your services or avoid negotiating your worth, that’s usually tied to deeper beliefs around not being deserving. “If you don’t feel deserving, you’ll leak wealth everywhere—discounting services, tolerating underpayment, or avoiding negotiations,” Sasha echoes.
“Your self-image becomes your financial ceiling,” she explains. She recommends tuning into where your resistance is coming from. Try writing “I am worthy of abundance” ten times slowly, really feeling each word. Notice what emotions or discomfort come up. That’s where your work begins. As Sasha says, this is where your inner narrative about worth can catch up to your actual value.
4. Emotional Avoidance
If you're prone to avoiding money altogether, i.e. skipping bills, ignoring your budget, avoiding your bank account balance, or pushing off conversations about finances altogether, these could be signs of deeper unresolved feelings or shame.
To begin healing, Sasha suggests starting small and approaching money from a place of compassion rather than resentment. Acknowledging your finances through intentional money management, even if it’s just for a few minutes a day, is a powerful first step toward creating a better relationship with money.
How Healing Your Money Mindset Creates Space for Growth
Healing your relationship with money doesn’t just change how you manage it, it changes how you show up. Sasha knows this shift well. As a wellness founder and the creator of the Million Mastery Method, her business began to grow in new ways when she did the internal work around her money story.
“When you begin to see money as a tool rather than a source of anxiety, your decision-making improves. This is exactly what happened for me in my business – as I shed my limiting beliefs around money, I became more authentic in my interactions with clients and partners,” she says. That clarity translated to more ease, more aligned clients, and more income, without the burnout or over-giving she once defaulted to.
“When you’re not battling internal money anxieties, you have more mental and emotional energy to dedicate to creative and strategic endeavors. This increased focus opened so many doors for me without me chasing them,” Sasha explains. “With a healed money mindset, setbacks become lessons rather than confirmations of scarcity. You’re more resilient and adaptive, which is essential for long-term business success. Your business starts to feel like an authentic extension of who you are, leading to a deeper sense of fulfillment and sustainable growth.”
So, Where Do You Begin?
According to Sasha, the first step in healing your relationship with money doesn’t begin in your bank account, it starts in your body. It's about shifting the way you feel about money before you ever shift the actual numbers. “Start by envisioning and feeling what financial abundance looks and feels like, and let that inner truth lead you in making decisions,” she says. That vision can be as simple as imagining yourself feeling safe while checking your bank account, confidently setting your rates for your services, or tipping without hesitation.
These small but powerful acts create new emotional pathways that support the idea that money is not something to fear, instead it’s something you can trust yourself to handle. “When you align your inner world with the abundance you desire, every single aspect of your life changes,” Sasha explains. “From the way you price your services to the opportunities you attract.”
Anything worth having doesn't come easy, and that goes double when it comes to inner alignment and getting your relationship with your money right. Sasha is honest about this and the discomfort that sometimes arises as we heal, our money wounds included. “Things will get uncomfortable and may not come to you naturally,” she says, “but just know that getting to the other side of your fear, self-sabotage, and anxiety means you’ve reached your desired state—which is a state of ease, flow, and abundance.”
That’s what financial healing really is: a reclamation of your sense of safety, your self-worth, and self-trust. It’s a recommitment to self-belief. When you start showing up as the version of yourself who believes she is worthy of wealth, aligned decisions and opportunities begin to follow. You no longer have to force abundance, it starts to meet you where you are because you already are.
“Embrace this inner transformation,” Sasha encourages, “and you'll find that financial healing becomes a natural extension of your newfound self-belief.”
Money, after all, isn’t inherently good or bad. “It’s energy that reflects your boundaries, your self-worth, and your vision,” she reminds us. “You don’t have to choose between wealth and integrity. When you align money with your mission, you step into your power.”
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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