Normani Talks Letting Go Of The Need To Be Perfect & The Heartbreak Behind "Fair"
Normani has been in the music industry since she was a teenager as a part of the girl group Fifth Harmony. But since their split, the 25-year-old singer has been working hard to prove that she can make it as a solo act.
She released “Motivation” in 2019 with a memorable video that paid tribute to her favorite artists growing up and in that same year she teamed up with Sam Smith for “Dancing with a Stranger.” In 2021, she released the head-bobbing slow jam “Wild Side” featuring Cardi B and shut down the 2021 VMA’s with an incredible performance.
Normani has received a lot of support from people who want to see her win but she is also faced with doubters who question her authenticity as she seems to be projecting an image and not her real self. However, that narrative is changing thanks to her new song “Fair.” Since its debut, “Fair” has earned a lot of praise from fans and artists alike such as her former collaborator Cardi B.
BEAUTIFUL …@Normani you look gorgeous and the song is soo good.Keep going ,keep working. https://t.co/srGojYiBVC
— Cardi B (@iamcardib) March 18, 2022
The song shows Normani’s vulnerable side and it gives fans a peek into the real person behind the artist. The multi-hyphenate sat down with Zane Lowe for Apple Music Radio and they discussed a variety of things such as the story behind “Fair,” letting go of perfection, and her new album being “the best music I’ve made thus far.”
On Being Vulnerable with “Fair”
“This record is another layer of who I am and my experiences and I feel like, I grew up in the public eye so you know it’s been very, very scary and very complicated. A sense of forcing myself into this idea of perfection to protect myself but this is the first time that I’m just free-falling in a sense and it’s scary. This is me being vulnerable and really captures a true and raw point in my experience that I wanted to share.”
On Making “Fair” While She was Experiencing Heartache
“What makes it so special, like I was saying, it captured me in the moment as I was experiencing in real-time. Like I was going through it emotionally. That day I wasn't sure if I could even really pick myself up to go to the studio. But ended up, and this was the result.”
She added, “And it’s therapy for me as much as it is for everyone else it’s for me. Putting this record out I didn’t know it was gonna be for me too.”
On Learning How to Let Go and be Herself
“Being 15 years old and not being able to be a traditional 15-year-old, teenagers make mistakes without getting reprimanded. I really think it took a toll on me in a large way. I guess having that experience so early and I think that I look up and I’m like, ‘damn you’re not even freeing yourself to just be.’ You have such a tight grip and not because I want to, but because I’ve always had to, which is a disservice to me and [my fans.]”
On the Need to Feel Validated
“I had to check myself. I think it was me and James Blake, we were having a conversation. We were just talking about just validation. I’ve never been one to need [applause] but you get used to it and when you don’t it’s like okay, maybe this isn’t—it doesn't feel as important.”
On Wanting to Be More Present
“I’m practicing gratitude too. Because it’s so easy to say and look at what everybody else is doing and what you’re not and then you’re constantly chasing after the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. With 'Motivation' I totally missed it. With 'Wild Side' I promised myself that I wouldn’t and I promised to be so, so present.”
On No Longer Being Hard on Herself
“I’m giving myself grace and I’m allowing myself to go through the process but also have room to grow. I’m sometimes like I wanna do everything, everything has to be—all the time, now, but I’ve never experienced what it was like to be a new artist for me.”
Normani: “Fair,” Moving On After Heartbreak, and Ghosting Zane’s Text | Apple Music
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Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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One of my goals for 2025 is to take better care of my body. Whether it’s making movement a daily practice, eating more vegetables and protein, or making rest a priority. Within that goal is to also reduce the toxic chemicals I put in and on my body.
A few weeks ago, I was perusing YouTube and stumbled across a video from the Diary of a CEO podcast titled “No.1 Toxicologist: These Products Were Making Me Infertile And Are Harming Your Future Kids!”
It stopped me dead in my tracks because I want kids, so of course, I would like to know if I were using any of these products and if there were solutions.
Now, before I continue, I’m not trying to be a fearmonger, but I do think it’s important to know if you’re unintentionally doing something that can have a negative impact on your health.
In the interview, toxicologist Dr. Yvonne Burkart talked about everything from plastics being harmful to avoiding fragrances and how a lot of products pose potential health risks like cancer and infertility.
Many of our everyday products, like plastic containers, makeup, and non-stick cookware, are laced with phthalates, bisphenol (BPA), and PFAS chemicals, which are endocrine disruptors.
“In the human body, we have eight endocrine glands. So they’re little centers in our bodies, and they secrete hormones, and these hormones regulate pretty much everything that you can think of,” Dr. Burkart explained. From sleep, wake, digestion to how well your brain works, cognition to metabolism, to how quickly you can burn calories.
“How much fat you deposit, how much fat you can lose, and also your fertility, if you’re able to have children, someday. So endocrine disruptors are coming in, and they’re basically disrupting just as the name indicates. They’re throwing the balance off. They’re messing up the signaling. They’re causing everything to go haywire in our bodies.”
Black women especially have a higher risk of endocrine disruptors. Harvard Health reported that haircare products sold in mostly Black, low-income neighborhoods have more toxic chemicals than in white, affluent neighborhoods.
“I think the vast majority of people are entirely unaware of this and studies show it because there are studies showing that the earlier you start using cosmetic products, the higher your chance of coming down with breast cancer,” she said.
“And the people who had the highest prevalence were African American females. So I think it’s a combination of the fact that there is some level of racism, environmental injustice, but also a cultural and societal preference for certain products.” She even suggested that some of the creators of Black-owned companies may not even be aware of the health risks. While the government is slow with updating regulations and clean beauty is still far and few between, it’s up to us to make these changes.
Below is a list of four common products with toxins and what you can do to lessen risks when using them.
Scented Candles
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It’s popular to use scented candles, air fresheners, and incense to make your home smell good, but it can also make your home toxic. According to the National Library of Medicine, scented candles (with paraffin wax), for example, have carcinogens such as formaldehyde that, when lit indoors release harmful gasses. These gasses can cause respiratory issues, headaches, throat irritation, and overall, indoor pollution.
Dr. Burkart suggested that it’s also best to avoid soy blend candles as it can also have paraffin wax.
What you can do: If you want to use scented candles, it’s best to use ones that are made from beeswax, essential oils, and have wooden or cotton wicks as regular wicks can contain lead.
Plastic Containers
Our society has become so dependent on plastics. We drink out of plastic bottles, we store food in plastic containers, and we even heat food with plastic on top.
The Geneva Environment Network reported that “the toxic chemical additives and pollutants found in plastics threaten human health on a global scale. Scientifically-proven health effects include causing cancer or changing hormone activity (known as endocrine disruption), which can lead to reproductive, growth, and cognitive impairment.”
Dr. Burkart took it step further by revealing that microwaving plastic containers are worse because the heat releases it into “billions of microplastic particles” that then gets released into the food. This also applies to restaurant to-go cups with hot coffee or tea. Microplastic doesn’t break down in the body and can even be found in newborn babies.
Even BPA-free plastic bottles/ containers aren’t technically safe, because at the end of the day, it’s still plastic.
“We’re becoming plastic. We’re actually known as the plasticine epic. Humankind is more plastic. Eventually we will become more plastic than we are humans if we continue at this rate,” she said.
What you can do: Use reusable glass and stainless steel bottles, silverware, and glass food storage containers. Dr. Burkart suggested that if you have a glass container with a plastic lid, keep the food from touching the lid. Also try to buy loose fruit and vegetables versus packaged ones.
Non-Stick Cookware
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Many of us may have used a non-stick pan at some point. If not, then you’ve seen them in the cookware section at your local retailer. However, research shows that non-stick cookware isn’t safe.
“PTFE is the chemical name for teflon, so teflon is used to create the non-stick coating and it is believed because it’s so chemically stable that it wouldn’t come off the pan into your food, but that’s not true,” Dr. Burkart said.
“There’s evidence showing that there is transfer from the cookware in normal cooking conditions into the food. Not only that, when you heat the pan high enough, it will vaporize and get into the air and if you inhale it, you run the risk of experiencing what is known as teflon flu.” Dr. Burkart explained that teflon flu feels like getting the regular flu.
PFAS are also found in non-stick cookware, which are linked to kidney and testicular cancers and thyroid disorders. It also increases the risk of miscarriage, pre-term labor and pre-term birth, preeclampsia, PCOS, endometriosis, and obesity.
What you can do: Stainless steel and cast iron cookware are safer options.
Skincare Products
Unfortunately, most skincare products have phthalates, which is disguised as fragrances (parfums). “The reason why they’re (phthalates) in fragrances and manufactures love them so much is they’re what are known as film formers,” Dr. Burkart said.
“So it helps the fragrance to stick to surfaces like your skin, your clothing, and it helps to make it last longer and linger. So if you’ve ever sprayed something on yourself and are still able to smell it hours later, that’s a telltale sign that you’ve been exposed to phthalates.”
What you can do: While we love our perfumes, a solution can be to not wear it everyday. Another solution is to use essential oils instead.
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