
Master Stylist Ashanti Lation Talks Success And Molding Normani's Iconic Ponytail

I have a love-hate relationship with the classic '90s ponytail. I love how versatile it is. It works for every hair type/texture and it fits every occasion from day to night. On the not-so-loving note: It's an addictive style and doing it too much can mean constant tension, eventually wreaking havoc on your roots and edges. If done right though, you can get the sleekness without the damage.
My forever high-ponytail inspo is our Queen Normani. She kills it every time. From the debut of her "Motivation" video to "Wild Side," it has become her aesthetic, and she's bodied every version of the '90s look since. So who better to get tips on creating a high ponytail from than one of her stylists, Ashanti Lation. The master stylist and CEO of VIP Luxury Hair Care sat down with xoNecole to tell us how she got started, her best tips for creating the perfect ponytail, and how to protect your hair while doing it.
Darius Varnado
xoNecole: What inspired you to become a hairstylist? Where did you start?
Ashanti Lation: I started doing hair in high school because I wanted my hair done all the time. Then, I would try [styles] and it came out good to me, [so] a few other people would ask me to do their hair. About a week later, I started charging my neighbors and other high schools in my city. From that point on, I got popular.
I also have eczema and allergies so because of that the skincare aspect of doing hair was always important to me. I always focused on the hair [and scalp] because I was particular about what my clients used and didn't want it to affect my skin. If you know anyone with eczema, then you know if it breaks out on your hands or neck, it takes a long time to recover. In initially being cautious, my clients would have great results for their hair, and I followed that path with them. I started studying the skin [and] scalp and creating products.
Jerritt Clark via Getty Images
When did you start working with Normani?
I'm the healthy hair guru, and a couple of celebrities and people in other industries have reached out to me asking for hair advice. She [had been] using our products [Greaux Drops] because a frontal had damaged her hair a little bit and the product was helping her hair grow back. She [contacted me] when she was in New Orleans and said, "Let's connect," and so we did and I did my thing. From that moment on, I've been her go-to haircare specialist.
When it comes to styling ponytails and keeping haircare in mind, what recommendations do you have to avoid damage?
It can be trying on the edges and at the top of your head from tension. Some people start to have bald spots at the top because the ponytails are very heavy, so I always tell people:
Avoid too much tension. Some people will make a section then swoop another section on top [to make it sleek and get it in a ponytail] it's too much. Try to get the hair as sleek as possible before you pull it up in a ponytail. So if you have to get a silk press first to smooth it out, then do that first. Prep the hair before you start the ponytail!
Use less product. Use holding spray first because sometimes using excessive gels, puddings, and wax, can become a lot, especially for the finer hair types. It will pull it out then thin it out.
Use the right band. Putting too many bands [on your hair] can damage the crown and cause balding. I like to use thick black rubber bands. Some people like scrunchies but I never try to unwrap them when taking them out. Just cut it out and throw it away! Don't try to keep using it because you'll get it tangled like that.
The base of the ponytail is important. Don't just use one rubber band. Use at least two and the wraps to create a structure like you're building something. It needs to be strong enough to support the hair. If you're doing one band, all that tension falls on your hair trying to hold the ponytail up. You can also do the ponytail on your thickest area so it will be less damaging to your hair.
Be gentle. Haircare is a slow dance, not a fast song.
Noam Galai via Getty Images
What products are needed to achieve a Normani-inspired ponytail?
A pomade like Jam and an edge control like Elite Edge. You can use wax if you want but don't use gel. You'll need the hair of your choice. You can finish with a light-holding spray. You'll also need thick rubber bands and wrapping strips.
Can you walk us through your step-by-step process of creating a ponytail and prepping for it?
For a heat-free process, you'll need more product to sleek it because you're laying it down. For Normani's hair, we don't use any heat at all. We twist it and let it dry overnight. It will be sleek and you'd think we pressed it.
1. Make sure you smooth your ponytail out as much as you can before you put the product on it.
2. Use a pomade like Jam and add the Elite edge control on top of that and smooth it out with your hands.
3. Tie it up with the black hair wraps and let it settle until it's fully dry.
4. When you take it down it holds but it's still soft.
5. Use two bands and then start your top knot.
If you use heat and flat-iron it first, you can pretty much slick it up with a little serum and a holding spray to keep it in place.
What hair would you recommend? We know that some hair can be heavier than others.
There's human hair or braid hair. Try to weigh it out and see what feels better to you. It depends on your texture. Less is always more if you can get hair that's fuller. And avoid using too many bags of hair.
For more hair tips and product recommendations, follow Ashanti Lation on Instagram.
Featured image by Jerritt Clark via Getty Images
Freelance writer, content creator, and traveler. She enjoys the beauty of simplicity, a peaceful life, and a big curly fro. Connect with Krissy on social media @iamkrissylewis or check out her blog at www.krissylewis.com.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
____
Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images