Known for her unabashed sex appeal, lyrical dexterity, and unquestionable domination of the hip-hop charts, Nicki Minaj is also on a personal journey.
Like many other women in the entertainment world, Minaj has had to contend with the prying eyes of the public and rumors about her romantic dealings. Safarees and Meek Mills aside, the "Chun Li" rapper reveals that she has always been someone's girlfriend since the age of 16 up until just recently.
Going from relationship to relationship might sound convenient on the surface, but underneath, not taking that time to examine who you are outside of said relationships will eventually take its toll. Minaj, 35, says that being single has forced her growth more than at any other point in her life of cyclical serial monogamy.
The power she has recently gained by being single showed her that not only could she DO for herself, but she can BE by herself, too.
In her July cover story for ELLE, the femcee said:
"I went through a moment where I got to know myself again, and then I went through a moment where I got to know myself as the rapper again. And then I locked [myself] in the studio and I didn't want to leave. Spiritually, I've experienced more growth in the last six months of my life, of my career, than I have in the last eight years."
"It's the first time in my life I've ever been single."
Despite her confident persona, Minaj admits that there was a period of time where she began second-guessing herself and her decisions. The Pinkprint rapper reveals that something clicked when she finally tapped into the power of her newly found singledom. Learning how to live solely for herself allowed her to recognize her true strength.
"I remember feeling like I could do anything at one time in my life, and somewhere along the line, I just started second guessing myself, for whatever reason. As soon as I realized that I could actually live and breathe, and eat and sleep, and walk and talk without having a boyfriend, something clicked in me. Becoming single was one of the things that made me feel strong and powerful."
In a lot of ways, relationships inherently come with a lot of comfort and security: whether it's financially, emotionally, or simply for safety reasons, having a man can have its perks.
Depending on a man for these things, however, can end up being a mistake that may come at the cost of hampering your own growth as an individual. Even someone like Nicki Minaj had to be reminded that not needing a man is the epitome of being in control.
"The fact that I am a young woman who doesn't need a man for money. I don't need a man for a job. I've never had to f*ck for beats. I've never had to f*ck for a record deal. I don't have those pressures. I get up when I want, shop when I want."
While it might be hard to believe, Minaj is also coming to terms with her responsibility as a role model. There is an uncomfortable conversation isn't being had in regards to the modern-day world of sex workers. Social media has created a new marketplace—for lack of better words— for certain types of behaviors, and according to Nicki, not only does she feel bad that some of these women don't seem to know their worth, but she also feels she may have contributed to it, as well.
"Maybe I was naïve, but I didn't realize how many girls were modern-day prostitutes. Whether you're a stripper, or whether you're an Instagram girl—these girls are so beautiful and they have so much to offer. But I started finding out that you give them a couple thousand dollars, and you can have sex with them. I was like, Yikes. It's just sad that they don't know their worth. It makes me sad as a woman. And it makes me sad that maybe I've contributed to that in some way."
When asked whether or not she is feeling this burden more now than ever before, she says:
"I've always felt like it. But in a lot of ways, I don't know if I'm doing the same thing they're doing, because I'm selling sex appeal. So I can't look down on these girls. I may not be having sex with people, but I'm still selling sex appeal."
And while selling sex and selling sex appeal are not the same thing, little girls are still looking to her as a role model and someone they want to emulate. There is no denying that Minaj sells sex, but she plans to be more revealing about who she really is on this next album.
The raptress plans to let girls know that it's "okay to keep your legs closed" and that it's better to be a bougie bitch instead.
"But I just don't know if girls who look up to me think that when I'm posting a sexy picture. I'm actually the antithesis of all of that. I'm more of, like, the snobby girl, like the 'Uh, what' type of girl. And I want girls to be like that. I'd rather you be called snobby or a bitch or conceited—I'd rather you be called that than easy, and a ho, and a slut."
Her fourth studio album, Queen, is set to drop on August 10. Will you be checking for a new tone and direction from this project or do you want the same old Nicki?
To read more of the cover story and to check out her exclusive photo shoot with Karl Lagerfeld, head over to ELLE.
Featured image via Michael Stewart/Getty Images
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Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
GiphyIf you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
GiphyThere is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
GiphySomething that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
GiphyEven if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
GiphyI saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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