We all started 2020 ready to step on necks and let the entire decade know who's boss. But it's also safe to say we can't do it alone.
I've been working from home for a little more than a year now, and it took months before I realized still being in my robe with my hair wrapped when my husband came home from work was not OK. I needed to find a way to link up with other like-minded women, whether it was just to bond over our femininity or just get out there and network.
Fortunately, tons of sheroes (and heroes) are on the same page and offer conferences and events for women to level up, learn, and glow up this year. You seriously need to save the date for these.
Pajamas & Lipstick
xoNecole/Pajamas & Lipstick
This is the ultimate gathering of all things #girlpower. I can personally attest to the power of this event. With super raw conversations and girl talk that has a "What happens at Pajamas & Lipstick stays at Pajamas & Lipsticks" vibe, this event is a must for your travel plans. Fortunately, this year it's set to expand to a three-city tour, making its first stop in Atlanta on March 20. If you're attending solo, you definitely won't feel that way once you arrive. If you're bringing your girl tribe, Pajamas & Lipstick will bring you even closer as you link up with women who will inspire you to become your best self.
CultureCon
CultureCon
CultureCon and The Creative Collective is the brainchild of Imani Ellis and will be taking over ATL on May 16 and NYC on Oct. 10. There, you'll rub elbows and shoulders with nearly 3,000 fellow creatives and leave super inspired to say the least. Tracee Ellis Ross, Regina King, Spike Lee, and John Legend are a handful of the influential superstars who have graced the stage for the conference in the past. From a small business market featuring Black-owned businesses to a job fair, Forbes has called CultureCon an event "every creative should attend."
BYOB – May 22-24 – Miami, FL
BYOB
The catchy name isn't the only thing that will spark your creativity. BYOB (Build Your Own Brand) was launched to not only give you the tools to establish and grow your ventures in the best way, but it also encourages quite a bit of self-care indulgence (anyone who's built their brand knows that self-care is a must). Taking place in Miami on Memorial Day Weekend, this year's speakers and guests are notable entrepreneurs, CEOs, digital creators, music artists, and more to be announced.
#BlogHer20: Parenting – April 24 – Nashville
#BlogHer20
It's not every year you come across a conference for moms in the media. That's exactly who #BlogHer20 will be for this year. For the first time in the history of the conference, more than 300 women are slated to join forces to give and receive tips for the mommy curators, or those with a family-friendly target audience (attendees will also learn how to make money with their blogs, which never hurts).
GirlBoss Rally – April 25 – Los Angeles
GirlBoss Rally
This one-day workshop is for the entrepreneur, working female, and the woman who's on the journey of finding herself through it all. If you have questions about money, your career, or life topics like managing stress and avoiding burnout, GirlBoss has something for anyone who wants to take control of their life. The event features three different types of experiences: The Explorer, The Leader, and The Founder, and I'm convinced all three of them will be a-mazing.
The Great Girlfriends Conference – June 12-14 – NYC
The Great Girlfriends Conference
We all need at least one close girlfriend! Whether you go to the Doers & Disrupters Conference on the hunt for a new group of girlfriends or bring your awesome ones with you, you won't be disappointed with what this one has to offer (from the workshops and panels to the refreshing dance breaks). Ultimately, this was created for you to find your sweet spot in your friendships and relationships, careers, businesses, and more.
AfroTech – Nov. 12 -14 – Oakland, CA
It's never too early to claim your spot for AfroTech. If you're an engineer, venture capitalist, recruiter, technologist or a tech novice, AfroTech should certainly be on your to-do list. You'll be able to bond with people of color in the tech industry and trade unique ideas. With more than 10,000 attendees on the regular, it's one of the largest tech gatherings in the country.
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RELATED
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
GiphyIf you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
GiphyThere is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
GiphySomething that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
GiphyEven if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
GiphyI saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
____
Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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