What I Learned From Spending A Day With Four Women Who Are Living The Dream
There was a point of time when I thought I knew it all.
Then, I soon realized, I knew nothing.
Over the past year, instead of pushing myself to the forefront and packing my schedule with appearances on panels, podcasts, radio shows, and TV outlets while disguising myself as an expert in my field, I decided to instead go back to school.
And not in a literal sense.
I went back to the drawing board. Book reading, researching, and catching up on my field, studying trends (so I could know what bandwagon to not hop on), listening to educational podcasts, seeking out mentors, and putting myself in a position where I could learn from those trailblazers who aren't just dreamers, but who are doers.
I am a student, ready to be taught.
It is for that reason that I was thrilled to be able to spend a day with four women entrepreneurs that I looked up to as part of xoNecole's "Living My Dream" series sponsored by the 2017 Toyota Corolla. As the executive producer of the series, I traveled to LA where I caught up with Rosa Acosta, Devi Brown, and Nikki Chu, before making my way down to Atlanta where I spent the day with my entrepreneur shero, Myleik Teele.
So what did I learn?
From Nikki Chu, I learned:
You shouldn't place limitations on yourself
Nikki has been hailed as one of the top African-American interior decorators in the country. What I love the most about her story is that, she could have settled with just a career as an interior decorator and be content with that, but she decided to also venture into product design and now has her own paint line, bedding collection, and furniture collection that can be found on Amazon, Bed Bath & Beyond, and Wayfair. Even when we achieve a dream, there's always the opportunity to break the plateau and go to a higher level.
From Rosa Acosta, I learned:
Done is better than perfect.
There's so many times I have not completed a project -- whether it was to launch an event series, a podcast, a workshop, an online store, etc., because I wanted it to be perfect, and I wanted it to be the best quality. I felt as someone who had already achieved a level of success, that I couldn't half-ass anything, but sometimes, while attempting to achieve perfection, those things put a stand-still on our ability to produce amazing work.
[Tweet "It doesn't have to be perfect as long as it's done."]
During our interview, Rosa (who came to America just eight years ago as an immigrant from the Dominican Republic) reflected on the day she opened her storefront on Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles:
"I have never let perfection get in the middle of good enough. I opened Cossamia online five years ago. I wasn't waiting for the website to be perfect to launch it. And even the store, it wasn't packed with inventory. Somebody had reached out to me and said, 'I would love to help you.' The person disappeared right after I signed the lease and everything. I opened the store with not enough money to sustain it but I was able to profit my first month."
From Myleik Teele, I learned:
Just because it's too much for them, doesn't mean it's too much for you.
During a side conversation with Myleik, while we were setting up cameras, she mentioned how a few people were concerned about her opening her own warehouse versus allowing a distribution service to manage the handling of her subscription boxes.
This reminded me of the chapters on bullies in the book, The Dreamgiver. Your bullies a lot of times won't even be people who don't like you, but instead will be people who are closest to you like your family and friends. They will say things to discourage you from knocking down the wall of fear and chasing your big dream because they are acting on their own fear. It's not that they don't want what's best for you, but their discouragement can come from many places, including wanting to protect you from getting hurt or failing. Meanwhile, we think to ourselves, Why isn't this person more supportive and encouraging of me achieving this big dream?
At the end of our interview, Myleik said it best: "Feel the fear, we all feel it. Then do it anyway."
We cannot allow other people to push their limitations, fears, and emotional blocks onto us. If you know you can do it, do it! That's ultimately what separates the dreamers from the doers, right?
From Devi Brown, I learned:
If you don't keep shedding your skin, and evolving, you will die inside
During our sit-down, Devi (who is a radio host and has her own self-discovery platform where she sells journals, crystals and more), compared evolution to a snake. She said, "The snake that does not shed its skin will perish. If you don't keep shedding your skin, and keep evolving, you will die inside." I looked into this further and learned that snakes shed their skin for further growth and to remove parasites that have attached to their old skin. How symbolic is that? If we refuse to push ourselves out of our comfort zones and give ourselves permission to evolve, the outdated version of ourselves will attract things that aren't healthy. Whether it's bad relationships, toxic friendships, or jobs that we hate, we will never be happy because there are things we are attached to that are holding us back, and preventing us from operating at our highest potential.
[Tweet "If you are not growing, you're dying"]
This just scratches the surface of the things I learned from these amazing women. I hope you are as inspired by them as I was.
Catch the "Living My Dream" series below and let me know your thoughts!
Myleik Teele
Nikki Chu
Devi Brown
Rosa Acosta
xo, Necole
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Between the rise of the creator economy and the gig economy, the window of opportunity to leverage your creativity for long-term gain has never been more potent.
For the last four years, I’ve worked as a full-time freelance writer and content creator. A year into this journey, I knew that if I wanted to create a sense of structure around my life outside of a traditional 9-5, I would have to create it.
To my surprise, that came in the form of social media.
Now, you might be wondering how someone might be able to juggle their work in a creatively-dominant career like writing while still having the mental capacity to produce ideas for their own personal brand, and well, that answer didn’t come easily.
In 2021, I hit a wall with writing and content creation.
With the stress and uncertainty that came as a result of the pandemic, to being burned out from having to live off my creativity, I reached a breaking point. For me, writing was always a space to explore my thoughts, process heavy topics, and express concepts that only words could bring reason to. However, when I didn’t have the brainpower to write or create content, I knew it was time to set parameters around my hobby of content creation and my passion for storytelling.
In this case, the biggest challenge was finding the balance between the two by releasing the guilt and shame of taking a break from both in order to reconnect with them.
Through years of trial and error, the fog finally cleared, and I was able to hit my stride in 2023. From garnering over 10K followers on TikTok, building an Instagram community around lifestyle and creative encouragement, along with my wellness collective, Black Girl Playground, and writing for xoNecole as a lifestyle contributor, the creative juices have been flowing steadily.
And it all happened by creating a strategy that allowed space for planning, resting, and creating. Today, I’ll be sharing my top tips to help you find your balance between your side hustle and passions.
On staying inspired and motivated when working on various content creation and freelancing projects:
Early this year, I came to the bright conclusion that I needed to shorten the gap between ideation and execution — and it completely changed how I create.
Oftentimes, when we have an idea come to us, we let it sit for too long, and then before we know it, we’ve either lost the enthusiasm to put it into action, or someone else grabs it. If you want to stay in a flow of creativity, whether side projects or full-time work, it’s important to not get slowed down by self-doubt, procrastination, or perfectionism.
Give yourself permission to act on your ideas as they come to you. Even if they’re a little muddy or not “perfect,” you can always fine-tune them later.
@yagirlaley shrinking the gap between [ideation] + [execution] 🧠💡#fyp #creativeadvice
On the importance of choosing a niche:
If there’s one thing that has helped me balance my work as a writer and content creator, it’s putting each in its own niche (or category). By definition, a niche is a specialized segment of the market or a specific area of expertise.
When you are creating in the same niche that you’re also making a living in, that’s an easy way to get your wires crossed. And at times, this could lead to feeling as if you don’t have any ideas for yourself because you’ve given them to the other area you're juggling.
When balancing two, you want to have enough fresh ideas to give to your personal projects and your full-time work to avoid any overlap. This ensures that your personal creative vision isn’t compromised when working on client projects while still having some for yourself.
On the strategies that have helped to maintain a consistent workflow in both areas:
I can’t stress enough how important it is to create a workflow and structure for yourself as a freelancer — this applies to those with a 9-5 in the day and a 5-9 at night, too.
As someone who admittedly has ADHD tendencies, object permanence can sometimes create a block in time and project management. That’s why I encourage creatives and professionals to create systems that allow you to see the work that’s ahead of you.
Personally, I can’t live without having multiple calendars going at once. My Google calendar keeps track of interviews for articles and events, while my physical calendar helps me keep track of important dates. I also work out of an Excel sheet where I can log in ongoing stories and track their status from drafting to submission. I’ve also heard great things about the Notion app for planning and tracking.
When it comes to creating content, spending time doing bulk content days has been an asset to my creative workflow. When I complete the videos, I save them to my drafts and upload them as needed.
Credit: Amberita
Courtesy of the writer
On the best advice for someone who is considering pursuing both content creation and freelancing simultaneously:
Don’t be ashamed of taking a break and resting — because both are essential to the life of a creative. Last month, I returned to Instagram after taking 6 months off from posting. During that time, I worked on growing my TikTok page, using the platform to practice vulnerability and allowing myself to put the fun back into creating content. Without the time, I can’t say I’d be able to approach Instagram with the same ease and playfulness; but thanks to that time away, it was possible.
Resting, letting our minds wander, or simply doing nothing are all just as productive as creating. No one can produce at all times, we have to allow ourselves the space for new concepts and ideas to flow to us. In addition to that, when we take breaks from social media, it allows us to stop the wheel of comparison and consume more than we create. So if you feel like you’re in a creative rut with all you want to balance, it may be time to take a step back, unapologetically.
Your creativity will thank you for it.
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Featured image by Sir Taylor