As we grow older, friendships that no longer serve us almost become inevitable. We've all experienced our fair share, we all know a few toxic people. In hindsight, the signs of a toxic friend seems obvious, but sometimes when you're in them, it's not always so clear.
Because I'm a bit older, I always think to Girlfriendsand the dynamic of Toni Childs and Joan. Toni was damn near unbearable to anyone without boundaries, primarily Joan. She would sneak diss, take advantage, and in many cases, completely disregard her friends. As a main character of the show, we rooted for her, but honestly, sis was toxic af. Breaking up with bad friends isn't something that used to be discussed often (which is why Toni was revered a show fave, versus the villain that she could be), but Insecure's recent highlight of the subject between Issa and Molly, has brought the subject to the forefront.
On this week's Happy Hour podcast episode, Amer and Sheriden explored this topic:
When it's time to break away from friendships that no longer serve us, how do we do it? How do we even know when it's time? What happens when that growth has you pulled in different directions?
Press play and tune in as our favorite ladies dive into:
- Toxic friends
- Friendships we've outgrown
- And the subsequent friendship breakups that they lead to
Have you ever had to break up with a friend?
Amer and Sheriden are accepting voice notes! Click here to send them a 1-2 minute question for your chance to receive on-air advice directly from them! Also, be sure to subscribe and listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
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Navigating Friendship Breakups Show Notes:
Pre-Game:
Clubhouse App (invite-only exclusive new app in the beta stages that has a bunch of super-influencers and celebrity "think tank")
Michael B. Jordan has a new boo (allegedly)! And she's a certain *cough* hue *cough*
Shonda Rhimes isn't with the shade, ABC. #kanyeshrug
Birkin Bags and Saweetie: why is this an indicator of a good boyfriend?
Quincy Brown had a moment, y'all.
Happy Hour:
We open the show by playing a voice note from xoListener, AJ: Breaking up with friends...how?
Tweet: @shesguru
Thoughts?
Sheriden: It's normal to outgrow people. It can be difficult if you don't have tools to communicate it. We have the conversation around relationships, and not necessarily friendships. Currently dealing with this issue.
Amer: You're friends with people at certain stages. It's up to knowing how to navigate the journey. It's never easy, but each situation is it's own case. Set boundaries, and choose yourself.
What do you do when the friendship breakup is no one's fault?
Do we implement boundaries more in relationships vs. friendships?
You aren't going to allow the same things you did when you were younger.
We all can be the toxic friend at some point, it's your duty to realize you're being a shit friend.
Tips for breaking up with friends:
- Assess your feelings, validate them
- Have a conversation with that friend, seeing how they respond
- Assess that response
- Make a decision
Types of friends:
- Jealous
- The one-uppers
- Weird "complimenters"
- Insecure a.k.a those who perceive that you're competing...when you're not.
Sis, stop saying, and being, that girl that says "I don't have many girlfriends." *eye roll*
Is it a necessity for you to call someone a friend?
You have to be a friend to have a friend. *poetry snaps*
Is it easier to break up in a romantic relationship than a friendship?
What lessons have you learned from leaving a friendship that you've outgrown?
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Netflix
Birkin
Chanel
Gucci
Girlfriends
Insecure
Bustle's "Issa Rae Has More To Do"
People Mentioned In This Episode:
Meek Mill
Mulatto
Necole
Joe Rogan
Joe Budden
Michael "Bae" Jordan
Jamie Foxx
The Beckhams
Shonda Rhimes
Drake
Saweetie
Quincy Brown
Frida Kahlo
Melinda Gates
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Feature image by Shutterstock
- Issa Rae On Why "Friendship Breakups" Hurt Just as Much ... ›
- Friendship after a breakup: How to rekindle your platonic love | Well ... ›
- Why Ending a Friendship Can Be Worse Than a Breakup | Time ›
- How To Break Up With A Friend - Friendship Breakups | Goop ›
- Ask MR: How Do I Deal With the End of a Friendship? - Repeller ›
- Defriending: Navigating the Friendship Breakup by Faith G. Harper ... ›
- How to Deal with a Friendship Breakup Like an Adult - Camille Styles ›
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The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
