Life is full of ironies, boy. I don't know about y'all but, back when I was growing up, when it came to my hair, the rule in the house was, "Shellie, when you can pay to get your hair done, you can dye it." Shoot, that didn't happen until I was almost in college, so I used to sneak and do stuff like spray my hair with a mixture of hydrogen peroxide and lemon juice in order to make it lighter. Chile, fast forward to now and who knew that my body would end up producing enough peroxide to lighten my hair all on its own? Especially now that jet black is my preferred hair hue.
What? You didn't know? The reason why our hair turns grey is because, as we age, our hair follicles produce less melanin. Not only that, but a build-up of hydrogen peroxide naturally occurs in our hair shaft; this basically means that our hair begins to bleach from the inside out. For many of us, this begins at around 30, with grey hairs increasing approximately 10-20 percent every decade or so.
While grey hair is a part of life (and something that a lot of people pay good money at hair salons to get), I totally understand if you're not yet ready to fully embrace your silver locks yet. At the same time, with all of the news out here about how chemicals are wreaking pure havoc on our health, I would recommend that you consider putting the hair dye down and testing out some natural ways to stop premature greying in its tracks. You might be pleasantly surprised by just how well the following 10 remedies tend to work.
1. Be More Gentle with Your Hair Overall
The weaker your hair is, the more prone it will be to grey prematurely. Some things that can do a real number on your cuticles include sun damage, improperly detangling your locks, applying too much heat, using sulfate shampoos, and not deep conditioning your hair on a consistent basis. Speaking of conditioning your tresses, word on the street is that, by applying coconut oil to your hair and scalp on your wash day and leaving it on for an hour, it will nourish your hair follicles and slow down the greying process. Hey, it's worth a shot.
2. Eat More Copper
A mineral that our body needs that isn't discussed nearly enough is copper. When we don't have enough of it in our system, that can lead to high blood pressure and cholesterol levels, a drop in white blood cells, less collagen and elastin production, and more free radicals moving throughout your system. Another indication of copper deficiency is premature greying due to low serum blood copper concentration.
Because copper supplements can sometimes have an adverse effect on birth control and ibuprofen, it's best to get more copper into your system by eating foods that are high in it. Some of those include whole grains, dark leafy greens, cashews, black pepper, dried fruits, potatoes and dark chocolate.
3. Apply Some Onion Juice
One of the reasons why onions are so good for our skin and hair is because it's high in sulfur. If you apply a mixture of onion juice, milk and nutmeg, it will create a face wash that can lead to even and glowing skin. If you apply onion juice to your hair, it can treat dandruff, reduce hair loss, promote hair growth and yes, slow down the greying process; sometimes, even reverse it. All you need to do is apply onion juice to your freshly washed hair, massage it onto your scalp and let it sit for 1-2 hours and then rinse thoroughly, deep condition and style as usual. If the smell of onions drives you up the wall, feel free to add your favorite essential oil to the juice. After doing this for a couple of months, it's possible that your hair will return back to its original color. (You can get an easy DIY onion juice hair recipe here.)
4. Take a Fo-Ti Supplement Too
If you've never heard of the supplement Fo-Ti, don't feel bad; a lot of people haven't. It's basically another name for "Chinese climbing knotweed" and its benefits are pretty impressive. Some practitioners use it in order to aid in treating headaches, acne, high blood pressure, diabetes, muscle soreness, erectile dysfunction and infertility. But what it's got a really great reputation for is combating premature greying by turning grey hair back to its original hue (if you take 1000 mg two times per day). This supplement can be somewhat potent, so make sure to run it by your doctor before taking it, just so that you can avoid any unpleasant side effects that it might bring.
5. Take a B-Complex Vitamin
If you don't have enough Vitamin B running through your veins, this is another thing that could trigger grey hair strands before their time. By adding B-complex to your daily vitamin intake regimen, you can help to stop greying in its tracks. Vitamin B3 is able to nourish your hair follicles, vitamins B6 and B12 will help to restore your tresses' natural hair color, and pantothenic acid (which is a part of the B vitamin family) can postpone the onset of grey hair growth.
6. Snack on a Few Almonds
Remember how I said that grey hair happens, in part, due to the production of hydrogen peroxide building up in our hair shaft? Well, something in our body known as enzyme catalase catalyzes the decomposition of hydrogen peroxide by turning it into water and oxygen. A food that is really rich in enzyme catalase is almonds. Some others that have a good amount of it too include cabbage, kale, sweet potatoes, garlic and broccoli.
7. Load Up on Antioxidants
Something else that happens when we age is our antioxidant levels begin to drop. Whenever this happens, our white blood cells can experience free radical damage due to the overproduction of hydrogen peroxide; this includes the peroxide that is produced in our hair follicles. One way to counteract this is to consume more antioxidants. You can do this by eating citrus fruit, berries and kale, taking vitamin C and E supplements, and consuming the ashwagandha herb. One study revealed that when a group of middle-aged men took ashwagandha for a year, they noticed an increase of melanin production in their hair. That's pretty impressive, if you ask me.
8. Try Some Blackstrap Molasses
I'm borderline anemic. Something that my mother would give me while growing up was blackstrap molasses. Putting a couple of teaspoons in a cup of hot water serves as a pretty good drink that is loaded with iron. Some other benefits of molasses include they help to relieve menstrual cramps, strengthen bones, they contain anti-inflammatory properties and stabilize your nervous system, plus they also fight against fatigue.
Another perk to consuming blackstrap molasses is, if you take the kind that is made from sugarcane juice, they also have a way of keeping premature greying from setting in. Eating a tablespoon every other day should do the trick.
9. Consume More Protein
Since our hair is mostly made up of the protein known as keratin, it actually makes a lot of sense that a lack of protein in our system could also result in premature greying. When you are protein deficient, your hair follicles are unable to get the nutrients that it needs in order to produce the amount of melanin that gives your tresses its natural color. So yeah, amping up your protein intake can also be a surefire remedy for ridding yourself of premature greying. Foods that contain high amounts of protein include eggs, cottage cheese, pumpkin seeds, oats, almonds, tuna, poultry, asparagus, beans and salmon. If you'd prefer to go the supplement route, whey powder is a great way to go.
10. Calm Down
If a senior in your life has ever said that someone in their world was the cause of their grey hair, believe it or not, there is actually some truth to that. When you're stressed out, not only can that shorten the lifespan of your hair's growth cycle, it can also trigger the kind of body inflammation that turns off pigment-producing cells. Wow. As if you needed one more reason to remove all of the stress from your life, right? Now you know, for sure, that it could bring grey hairs to your head well before your time. The good news is this is just one more motivating reason to de-stress as soon as possible. Make sure you do that, sis. Your hair's health—and hue—depend on it!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
10 Things Your Natural Hair Needs In The Winter
This Is Why Your Natural Hair Ain't Growin'
Uncommon (But Totally Natural) Things That Are Great For Hair Growth
Matthew A. Cherry Fully Deserves His Oscar Nod For Showing Us Mad 'Hair Love'
Feature image by Shutterstock
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
So…I wanna say that it must’ve been when I was either in the seventh or eighth grade that I participated in a series of etiquette classes.
As antiquated as that might sound to some these days and although I don’t remember a ton about them, what I am forever grateful for is learning how to properly set a table and what utensils to use at big formal dinners. When you’re a kid, you think stuff like that is totally unnecessary. Oh, but grow up, move in some circles and you’d be surprised how much random tips will hold you down in a pinch.
Anyway, in my personal opinion, when it comes to sexual activity, there should also be etiquette that should be applied — you know, “rules of conduct” (or engagement) for how we should expect to be treated and how we choose to treat others. Because, even if you don’t hear about sex being presented in the form of needing to have manners, having a certain level of decorum, and/or requiring a mutual level of dignity, that should absolutely be the case.
And just like some of the lifestyle etiquette tips that I learned back in the day have stayed with me all of this time, it’s my hope that if you aren’t applying (or requiring) the following 10 sex etiquette suggestions (all 10 of ‘em too) that you will start…so that they will remain with you as well.
1. Discuss Sex-Related Things That Will Directly Impact Y’all’s Health
GiphyDoes even one day go by when someone on Instagram, X, or TikTok isn’t talking about why someone should or should not know another person’s body count (check out “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed”)? Although I have been known to say that the kind of things we’re proud of, we tend to brag about without hesitation, that doesn’t mean that I think people are owed that type of information.
That being said, that doesn’t mean I’m not aware that there is science to back up that the more sex partners men have, the more that they increase their chances for being diagnosed with cancer; that a higher amount of sex partners can impact whether or not you get married (and that it tends to lead to divorce more often as well), and that an uptick in partners can even increase your chance of becoming a substance abuser.
Not to mention the fact that, as Dwayne Wayne once said on A Different World episode (that featured a great performance by Tisha Campbell), “the longer the list, the greater the risk” (of contracting an STI/STD) — however, if we’re looking at this point from nothing more than a sexual one, really what someone deserves to know is if you’ve been tested for STI/STDs within the past 6-12 months and, if not, if you’re willing to get tested prior to having sex with them. Anything else really is privileged information and totally up to the individual to share — both directions too.
2. This Includes Afterplay. Beforehand.
GiphyChile. I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that they found themselves either embarrassed or flat-out pissed about how a sexual experience went. It wasn’t because of the sex itself; it was more about how things were handled afterward. Now, if you’ve never seen the (wow) 35-year-old film When Harry Met Sally (Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan) before, there’s a scene where Billy Crystal’s character talks about men trying to figure out in their mind how long they should hold a woman after having sex with her.
To me, the modern version of this is after sex, when someone asks, “So, what are you about to do?” because that sounds like code for, “You ain’t got to go home but…” Listen, when two people have real feelings for each other and/or are in a long-term dynamic, this point is — or at least, should be — pretty irrelevant.
However, if you’re in a casual sex dynamic or a situationship, I promise you you're putting yourself in a position to “feel some type of way” if you merely assume that afterplay means cuddling all night long while he thinks it’s more like polite convo for 10 minutes and then bouncing (or vice versa). If you don’t want to be bedside blindsided, discuss beforehand how you each prefer to get down.
3. Ask Before Sexting
GiphyI don’t care if the two of you have never had sex before or if you’ve been doing it for a while at this point, but if sexting has never (pardon the pun) entered the chat, you both really should ask before you start sending NSFW stuff into each other’s devices. Some people don’t like it. Some people prefer to know when stuff like that is coming because they don’t want what is being said or shown to be exposed to those around them.
Some people prefer not to “shift gears” (as far as their energy field is concerned) when it comes to being in one mindset and all of a sudden receiving sex-related content that they weren’t prepared for. Believe it or not, there is data to support that the art of sexting can improve coitus overall. However, the same research says that it needs to transpire under the umbrella of mutual respect and clear communication. I agree 1000 percent.
4. No Means No. This Applies to Us Too, Ladies.
GiphyMedia culture can be so…irresponsible, sometimes. Since we’re talking about sex, specifically, today, take when it comes to men and sex. Contrary to popular belief, no, that is not all that they think about and no, they aren’t always in the mood — for a myriad of reasons. And that’s why, I think it also should go on record that just like it’s wrong for a man to try and push a woman past her “no,” women shouldn’t do it either.
It truly isn’t said enough that you shouldn’t simply call it seduction if a guy doesn’t want to and you keep trying to get him to anyway while defining it as coercion when the shoe is on the other foot. The saying “no means no” shouldn’t have a gender bias on it. Everyone should have their boundaries respected — at all times too. Full stop.
5. A Clean and Comfortable Scene
GiphyFresh bedding. A clean bathroom. A washcloth and towel for your partner. Flip-flops (to walk around and/or take a shower in). Lubricant. Bottled water. These are the kinds of things that immediately come to mind when I think of what should automatically come with someone spending intimate time in your home. It’s also what you should be fine with requiring should you choose to have sex at someone else’s house too.
Because even if there aren’t things like scented soy candles and a ton of ambiance, you and your partner at least need to feel like you both are in a space that is clean. This should be a hands-down non-negotiable, by the way.
6. Turn ALL Devices Off
GiphyI don’t know if this means that the sex is/was really wack or you’re just a phone addict in denial but if you are “one out of every five individuals” who checks their phone during sex, I’ve got a bevy of questions for you. SMDH. For this one, in general, though, I don’t have a lot more to say other than, I don’t know how anyone could think that checking their notifications during sex — any kind of sex — isn’t rude as hell and definitely a reason for someone to hard pass on wanting to “engage” with them ever again.
So yeah, for this one, let’s go with an automatic “all devices off” rule. Since most people only want sex to last somewhere between 7-13 minutes anyway (is that per round…or???), I’m pretty sure that whatever IG Live that you’ve been waiting on can wait. Goodness.
7. Have Your Own Stash of Condoms on Deck
GiphyAssuming that the guy should always bring the condoms is about as sexually irresponsible as a guy thinking that he doesn’t need them because the woman he’s about to have sex with should be on birth control. My point here is that you really need to have your own condom collection. One, so that you’re always prepared. Two, so that you can select the condoms that you prefer (most guys are totally fine with that). Three, no matter what you might think that it implies, mature folks get that it means you are serious about protecting your health and well-being.
And what if discretion is what you’re the most concerned about? No worries, there are all kinds of condom carriers out here that basically look like tiny wallets (for example, here).
8. Keep Cleansing Cloths Around
GiphyHygiene is important, is it not? Although going into graphic detail about it may be something that most people would want to avoid, sometimes sexual activity happens spontaneously with no bathroom close by. And listen, even if the movies act like (for instance) oral sex after getting all sweaty from dancing all night in the club is hot, my mind automatically goes to it being kinda gross. So, at least keep some rinse-free cleansing cloths on deck if you don’t want to wait until you can hop into a shower. A pack in your purse or glove compartment can go a really long way. Straight up.
9. Don’t Be a Show-Off
GiphyOne guy who I had sex with back when I was in college, I was so excited about — initially. At the time, he was fine, and then some mo’ fine. To be honest, although we were very cool and spent a couple of years on campus together before I — eh hem — indulged, the main reason why I wanted to sleep with him is because I thought that his looks were a preview of his performance level. Boy was I wrong. Any time I refer to our, umm, time together, I call it “Cirque du Soleil sex” and even that is being generous because that man was trying to put me into every twist and turn that he could in under 20 minutes.
It’s like he was trying to prove that he could hold it down…and all that ended up doing was backfiring — supremely so. Moral to the story here: sex should be about two people enjoying each other, not low-key trying to compete or “outdo” one another. Anyone who says otherwise is truly bringing poor form to the bedroom, whether they realize it or not.
10. Watch Your Words. Afterwards.
GiphyOn the heels of what I just said, if sex with your partner was pretty much the equivalent of watching paint dry, it’s still important to be thoughtful about what you say. Lack of empathy, being inconsiderate of their feelings, talking to them in a way that would damn near cause you to blow a gasket (or melt into the floor) if they did the same thing to you — all of this files under hella rude behavior.
And while we’re here, please watch your body language — you know, heavy sighs, eye-rolling, stonewalling…if you don’t want to have sex with them again, that is totally your right; that doesn’t mean that you have to humiliate them in the present, though. You know, A LOT of people carry their ego in the bedroom — male and female.
That’s why I write articles like “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not” and “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed).” So, whatever transpires, try to be kind and compassionate. Karma shows up, even in the bedroom. Make sure it’s proud of how you handled yourself. One way or another, you’ll be glad that you did.
____
Sex etiquette. As you can see, it’s a very real and necessary thing. I’m curious, though. When you get a chance, hop in the comments to share some other “copulation manners” that you think are important, along with how you handle matters when they are missing or go awry. Hey, when it comes to having better sexual experiences, we’re all in this together.
Kinda. Sort of. You know what I mean. LOL.
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Featured image by Drazen Zigic/Getty Images