Struggling With Vaginal Hyperpigmentation? There Are All-Natural Remedies For That.
Recently, while getting my monthly waxing down below, my waxer was commenting on how healthy my vagina — well, technically it’s my vulva — looks for my age. Lawd, where has the time gone when I’m finally at the point and place where “for my age” is following more and more comments? LOL. Anyway, when I asked her to expound, she went on to say that as women get older, it’s not uncommon to notice more sagging (check out “Vaginas Age Just Like Everything Else. You Can Slow It Down, Though.” and “Keep Your Vagina Like A (Literal) Fountain Of Youth”) and some discoloration as well.
As I was on my back, legs open and looking up at the ceiling, waiting for her to finish, I first thanked her for the compliment. Then I let her know that, indirectly, she was gonna help me with my next writing check from this platform — because what she said about vaginal discoloration was going to inspire me to do some additional research. And I did.
That said, whether you glance at your vagina on a daily basis, you only do it while you’re in the process of doing a vaginal self-exam (which is always wise), or you’re someone who doesn’t give how your va-jay-jay looks much thought unless you’ve scheduled a professional maintenance appointment or you’re “prepping” for a really hot night (check out “12 Men Told Me What They Love So Much About Vaginas”) — although this is a topic that you may not have considered before, I think you might find a few of these tips to be quite beneficial. That is, if you want to keep your vagina — well, vulva — looking radiant and youthful for as long as you possibly can, anyway.
Check it out.
Vaginal Hyperpigmentation. What’s the Cause?
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Hyperpigmentation. When it comes to your vulva (the outer part of your vagina), whether you couldn’t care less about it or having some low-key irks you to no end, the first thing that you should know is that it’s pretty normal. Although it somewhat varies from person to person, it is important to always keep in mind that there are certain factors that can play a role in just how dark parts of your skin — again, in this case, your vulva — can get.
Factors like what? Well, for starters, your skin contains cells that are known as melanocytes; they are somewhat sensitive to your body’s natural hormones.
So, as your hormones shift (like during puberty, pregnancy, and the later stages of perimenopause), that can cause your skin to get darker when it comes to your vulva, nipples, and even your anus. Something else that can cause hyperpigmentation is constant friction (which is just one more reason to keep wearing super tight pants down to a minimum).
This is because friction can cause bodily inflammation (I just read that rosemary is the best herb for treating inflammation, by the way), and that can lead to discoloration. It should also go on record that sometimes skin experiences hyperpigmentation wherever “folds” in the skin happen (like your underarms or if your vaginal lips are “meaty”). Oh, and if you shave and get ingrown hairs or pimples, that can be a part of the culprit as well.
Are these the only things that can make vaginal hyperpigmentation happen? No. In fact, if your skin down there is super itchy or irritated (and you know that it’s not due to something like BV or ayeast infection), you should get your doctor to check it out. It could be because of an underlying condition like (possibly) diabetes, an STI/STD, or even PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome).
However, the other causes that I mentioned tend to be the ones that are the most common. And for those, I have 10 all-natural things that you can do at home to 1) help to prevent vaginal hyperpigmentation from transpiring and/or 2) help to even out your vulva’s skin tone if some discoloration has already taken place.
10 All-Natural Things You Can Do At Home To Prevent Vaginal Hyperpigmentation
1. Make Sure Your Panties Are “Breathable”
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Okay, so for those of you who don’t wear any drawers (check out “10 Women Told Me Why They Stopped Wearing Panties (And They Don't Regret It)”), this first tip won’t apply. For the rest of us, though, just like tight jeans (for instance) can cause friction in your vaginal region, so can panties that won’t let your vagina breathe (whether it’s due to sizing or fabrics like spandex or nylon).
The method to the madness here is air carries oxygen andoxygen helps to give your skin the nutrients that it needs to remain healthy. Plus, looser underwear that’s made out of a breathable fabric also prevents chafing that could cause discoloration too. Now that you know this, if you’re not sure if you’re currently wearing the type of undies that are best for your vagina and vulva, I’ve got you covered (no pun intended). Check out “These Are The Kinds Of Panties Your Vagina Actually Prefers”.
2. Exfoliate Your Pubic Mound
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You know how I mentioned my waxer in the intro? Sometimes, she has some pretty wild stories about what happens when she gives someone a Brazilian wax for the first time (yeah, y’all can keep that). Since she said that it can take a good 4-6 months for 1) it not to hurt as much as it initially does and 2) for a person’s skin to fully recover, something that she recommends doing (2-3 days following your hair removal appointment) is exfoliatingyour pubic mound (the fatty area that covers your pelvic region).
Exfoliation helps to remove dead skin cells and turn over new skin, which can ultimately help to even out discoloration on your pubic mound (if you happen to have any).
Since that part of your body is more sensitive than others, my two cents would be to DIY an exfoliant out of some brown sugar (recipehere) or coffee grinds (recipehere). Natural ingredients reduce the chance of (further) irritating your skin.
3. Massage Your Vulva with Some Vitamin E Oil
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If you want your skin to look fresh and radiant on any part of your body, you’ve absolutely got toinvest in some vitamin E oil. The properties in it help to deeply moisturize your skin, relieve any itching that may be associated with mild infections, allergic reactions to fabrics, or basic-level irritation; help to treat and heal eczema and psoriasis; minimize the appearance of scars over time, and it also can slow down your skin’s aging process — including when it comes to your vulva.
Also, sinceboth vitamin E and ginseng have been proven to boost sexual performance in women (which ultimately leads to more natural lubrication), you can’t miss by applying some of this to your vulva just as soon as you possibly can.
4. Apply Geranium Essential Oil
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As I learn more about the purpose and power of essential oils, I wish I had started studying more than the “common” ones much sooner than I did.Take geranium oil, for example. Did you know that it has the ability to soothe sore muscles, speed up the healing process of certain respiratory infections, reduce anxiety and depression-related symptoms, fight candida, and even decrease nerve pain that comes from things like shingles (pretty impressive, right?)
However, the reason why geranium oil is listed here is because it’s also awesome (and non-irritating) when it comes to skincare. What makes it so divine? It reduces wrinkles, contains antibacterial and soothing anti-inflammatory properties, and naturally deodorizes, too.
Also, since this oil also provides a hormone-balancing effect for women who are perimenopausal and menopausal, when it comes to adding to your own essential oil collection, how could you not want some geranium oil now?
5. Or Frankincense Essential Oil
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Personally, if frankincense oil had no real benefits, I’d still use it because I like how it smells. Kind of like woody-meets-musky-meets-sweet-meets feminine. The fact that it’s got somesolidantioxidant, anti-inflammatory, and anti-aging properties in it makes it that much better.For instance, since it’s a stress-reducer, that’s always good to know if you’re doing your best to find holistic ways to keep your hormones as balanced as possible (because stress can put your hormones into influx). Some other notable things about this oil (as far as your vulva goes) are it fights off bacteria, helps to slow down aging signs, and actually balances hormones (and helps to improve fertility), too.
6. Soothe and Heal with Pure Aloe Vera Gel
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So, what if you recently took a look at your vulva and noticed that there is some discoloration due to things like nicking yourself while shaving or your skin getting over a couple of back-to-back yeast infections? One thing that you might want to try is applying some (and this is key) 100 percent pure aloe vera gel to the darker spots. For one thing, its high water content will help moisturize your skin.
Next, its anti-inflammatory, antibacterial, antiviral, and antiseptic will do wonders when it comes to helping to heal your skin.Another perk of the gel is it’s actually a natural source ofsalicylic acid, which means that it can help prevent future breakouts (if you happen to get pimples and acne scars down there). Plus, it also fades discoloration (over time) and slows down the aging process of your skin.
7. Take Vitamin C and D Supplements
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Did you know thatalmost every American in this country is not getting all of the nutrients that they need from their diet alone? Yeah, don’t get me started on what people’s health would look like if the United States actually covered healthcare costs (eye roll). ANYWAY, I’m just saying this to say that if you don’t already take a multivitamin, now is as good a time as ever to start. Or, if you’d prefer to take certain supplements that are specific to this article, vitamins C and D are your better bet.
Vitamin C is bomb because it’s great for skin health overall; it boosts collagen levels, helps to prevent infections, and speeds up the process of wound healing. Vitamin D is great because it helps to maintain your vagina’s pH levels, reduces the chances of vaginal infections, and if you happen to be on the other side of menopause, it can help with your libido and make arousal easier — and since vitamin D deficiency is so common among us (Black women) that is certainly something to especially keep in mind.
8. Use Lubrication During Sex
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The main reasons why your body naturally lubricates your vagina during sexual activity are so that 1) penetration will not be painful and 2) there won’t be a ton of unnecessary friction during sexual acts. Yep, and there goes that word again: friction. Whether you struggle with getting as wet as you’d like due to hormonal reasons (or foreplay challenges; check out “What If The Sex Is Good...But The Foreplay Isn't?”) or you’re simply someone who takes the saying “the wetter, the better” quite literally (check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant”), just remember that when it comes to preventing vaginal hyperpigmentation, all forms of lubricant will always be your friend.
9. Try Some Rose Bush Butter
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It really is amazing, the random things that you can find out on the World Wide Web. Take a product called Rose Bush, P-ssy Butter. I first stumbled upon it whilereading an article about it on Well + Good’s website. The reason why it sings the butter’s praises is that it can do so many things for your vaginal region, from moisturizing and preventing chafing to making it smell great and serving as an all-natural lubrication (if you’re someone who DOESN’T use condoms).
Word on the street is that it can even help to keepyour vagina’s pH where it’s supposed to be (which is always a bonus!). So, if you’re looking for something that can help, and heal your vulva, why not give some rose bush butter a shot? You can cop yourself some of ithere.
10. Sleep Naked
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Last one. Your vagina and vulva don’t want to experience friction, especially not 24 hours a day. That’s why it’s important to at least give them both a break during your sleeping hours. That will give them time to get more oxygen, regulate their temperature, prevent excess moisture from creating the perfect breeding ground for a yeast infection, and it will help to keep your hormones balanced, too. At the end of the day,sleeping naked is one of the best ways to be proactive when it comes to avoiding vaginal hyperpigmentation. No doubt about it, sis. So make sure to do it….tonight.
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Welp. There you have it: 10 all-natural ways to keep your vulva looking as good as (hopefully) it feels. Test some of the remedies out. Let me know how it goes. Especially that rose butter, aight? #wink
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert