Listen.
If you frequently read my posts, you know that I am first-in-line-here for Black people, with Black families, being unapologetically and openly Black for the world to see. And a family that wears this cape so beautifully, is none other than the Native Borne Family—expat social influencers, John and Safiyyah Christian and their 5 kids—all embarking on a relocation journey to live their best lives abroad. They encourage holistic living while boastfully being true advocates of down-to-earth lifestyles.
From traveling as a family of seven, to creating and sharing a relocation blueprint, this family is all about helping us find our passions, and showing us that we can live and travel while simultaneously being immersed in them too.
Well, recently, they grabbed my attention by detailing their painfully honest list of key, or what they described as dumb, mistakes made when moving internationally. And with many of us considering moving overseas, this list could be even more valuable to international cautionary tales.
Their mistakes consisted of:
Not Rooting in a Secure Place
Like with any move, but especially internationally, home should be safe—that's a given. Obviously, John and Safiyyah did their due diligence in ensuring their new home was safe, their new residence even had 24/7 security. But as time went on, they learned that their security was too lax and wasn't as thorough as promised. This caused them to be robbed while sleeping one night, all of their belongings being stolen.
They later found out that although Ghana is an overall safe country, known expats and tourists are targeted at a much higher rate than locals.
Their advice:
- Be mindful. Pay the price for peace of mind.
- Get advice from locals about locals. Get to know people.
- Take your time in choosing where you want to live.
- Look for clean grounds and security performing thorough inspections.
Shipping Everything
Native Borne
When the NB fam officially decided to move to Ghana, they were so excited to relocate, that they chose to ship all of their belongings to the country. Beds, mattresses, dishes. Even unnecessary paperwork.
Huge mistake. Why? Because it was expensiiiiiveeeee. They soon found out, that not only are there shipping costs, there's also Customs fees, which they estimated to be about $2,000 USD. Ouch.
Their advice:
- Less is more. If you don't need it, don't bring it.
- Find a shipper who is able to explain the full process in detail.
- Adopt a minimalist mindset.
- If you want to bring particular items, just pay the additional bag fees to bring your items on the plane. Whatever that cost is, it is much cheaper than having them shipped.
Not Having Residual Income
Like many expats, they saved up money and moved with their faith in tow. They had a nice-sized cushion to sustain them for a while, but it dwindled quickly. Their ultimate goal was to always become digital nomads, so that they could travel the world, but they learned that they had to set themselves up properly in order to continue to do so, thus monetizing their journey and providing insight and guidance to those of us interested in doing the same.
Their advice:
- Savings is great, but have residual income.
- Take part in business that's proven to bring you revenue.
- Start the business now, and then relocate.
- Be able to show yourself results on paper. Confirm that “this is what this business is making, and if I move, I'll be OK.“
Sending Money Ahead Of Time
Prior to arriving, the NB family made connections with locals in the country. They ended up sending money to people that they trusted to secure their home. Once they arrived, communication changed, the story changed, and the place they were supposed to be living in, also changed. They were supposed to save money through this connection, but it ended up costing them more due to..."fees." *side eye*
Their advice:
- When dealing with professionals, conduct business in person.
- Have written agreements and contracts to protect both parties.
- Stay at an Airbnb or hotel until you are acclimated with the area.
- Find a reputable real estate agent show you around. There's plenty where you want to relocate, but it's one of those things that you must do on-site.
- Be patient and stay in control.
- Don't send your money.
- Don't send your money.
- Don't send your money.
Rushing To Purchase Land
Native Borne
Like with any country, buying land is a highly in-demand interest across the board. The NB family had many conversations with people who have lived in the country for decades, who all told them to take their time. Unfortunately, they soon learned they were taken advantage of by people whom they trusted. To make a purchase of that caliber, takes time, so their process ended up being quite difficult.
Their advice:
- Before you make any decisions, rent. Don't allow excitement to cloud judgement.
- Build your team. Hire a reputable surveyor, real estate agent, and the like.
- Always protect your interest and don't be afraid to walk away from a seemingly great deal.
- Again, conduct your deals in person, guys. Nothing less.
- Take your time in signing the dotted line.
Ultimately, the NB family found their stride and perfected what they sought out to do. In addition to living in Ghana, they frequent various countries, masterfully traveling as only they know how: black and beautiful.
To learn more about the Native Borne Family, visit their YouTube channel here. Also, for anyone interested in their relocation blueprint or current projects, visit their website.
Feature image courtesy of The Native Borne Family
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Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Almost two weeks later, Wicked is still on everyone's lips. The high-grossing film stars Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande as Elphaba and Glinda, as their characters, tell a story about race and acceptance. However, what has captured audiences on and off the screen are Cynthia's and Ariana's looks as they play on their characters' styles.
Ariana, like her character Glinda, is often dressed in pink, and Cynthia, much like Elphaba, is covered in green. But what also has many people talking is the British actress' nails. Her nails are often long, blingy, and, of course, green. Many TikTok girlies are even doing their own versions of Elphaba's nails. But there's one person to thank for the green nail mania: Shea Osei.
The London-based nail artist has been working with the Wicked actress since she was 16 and shared all the tea on her epic nail styles with Unbothered UK.
Here what she said.
Shea On Elphaba's Nails Being The First Thing We See Before Seeing The Character
I was ecstatic. I was happy. It was just great to see my craft, my artistry just out there, not just nationally but globally.
Shea On Elphaba's Nails Representing Her Character Development
When we started with the first [nail] look, we chose nice, subtle green ombre nails that show who she is but a calm, chilled-out version of Elphaba. As she grew into herself, became more confident, and found herself, she was more like, yes, this is me, I’m Elphaba, I am who I am, and her nails became more daring. In the salon scene, when she had a transformation, her nails were, one, longer and two, they were more daring. There are many close-ups of Elphaba’s hands in the film, where you see her nails, and you see the difference in what they were [at the start of the film], so I feel like that helps to tell the story.
Shea On Elphaba's Nails Representing Black Womanhood
Yes, it was 100%. And I feel like, yes, the nails represented Black womanhood but also just being yourself. I just feel like the nails represented Cynthia as if to say, ‘I'm Black and I can be a Black witch’. This is who I am. And also, I can have braids and they can be done in any kind of way and can still be styled however is needed. I think we saw, if I'm correct, three or four different braid styles in the movie. Sim Camps, who styled the braids, did an amazing job — there would be mornings when she would be making sure the braids were intact and looked amazing on camera. So, yeah, definitely the braids were an ode to Black culture and the nails were 100% like, yes, we're doing it.
Shea On Seeing The Fan Recreation On TikTok
Yes, I have! If you are going to the salon and you want to recreate Elphaba's nails and let's say, you're going for the nails after the salon scene, where she just gets a fresh set, I would say ask for a plain black base and then ask if they have green foils to stick it on top to give that green effect. Then apply a shiny top coat. And it looks insane! The green ombre is more complicated with colours mixed to give it a green earthy colour.
Shea On The Importance Of Expressing Yourself Through Nail Art, Despite Some Criticism
We love it and don't want anyone to change. Let's look at athletes such as Flo-Jo, remember her nails? Now we have ShaCarri Richardson and her nails are always long and she's always got nice designs [on them]. It’s also Black people, not only Black women — because if you look at athletes that are men that make sure they get their nails painted as well. A$AP Rocky gets his nails painted. It's just so good to see that our culture is so colourful and also so inviting. It’s not only Black people that can have these kinds of nails, anyone can have them. I’m glad we can be the inspiration to everybody and they can draw bits of our culture and add it to theirs.
I like the fact that Cynthia is able to go out of there into the world and still be authentically herself. She hasn't changed for anything or anyone. This is how I am. I like my nails like this, my nail techs love doing my nails like this.
I'm over the moon that Cynthia can go out and still have her nails how she wants to. [Cynthia’s nails] has been a topic this entire Wicked press tour. Everyone will ask Cynthia about her nails in every interview and I love that. I love it because that's who she is. And if you see her you'll see that she's always got her nails done and she’s always got some banging heels on. Even on her down days, she’s always dressed. That's just how she is.
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Feature image by Jeff Spicer/ Getty Images