Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that TikTok would become such a big part of my life. I mean, I talked big shit, real big shit when it initially blew up. But I've come to love it! It's like Pinterest but in video format and somehow way better than YouTube (if you're ADHD) – a one-stop shop for inspiring everything from home decor to dinner recipes. And that's exactly what Nara Smith is! Foodie inspiration at its finest. Yet, she's caught so much backlash, and I can't figure out why.
Let the trolls tell it, and it has everything to do with her being Mormon. There's so much concern about her being part of a religion that, allegedly, dislikes Black people. Newsflash! Nara is a big girl who can make her own decisions. So, I find it weird that the internet cares more about a harmful community (while also causing harm via trolling) that would most certainly be most harmful to 22-year-old Nara, who interacts with the religion regularly.
@naraazizasmith he asked for it the next day again so this might become a staple 🫶🏽 #easyrecipes #homemade #pizza #bbqchicken #fypシ #marriage #homecooking
Particularly because she's only guilty of posting cooking videos – she doesn't speak on her religion. So, if it is Mormon propaganda, it's very subtle because a million and one women are cooking for TikTok, myself included. If a woman cooking for TikTok is the problem, why have we never had an issue with cooking shows with female leads? I watched a woman double fry White Castle burgers for her husband on TikTok, and no one batted an eyelash! Not one of these other cooking women is being harassed in the manner that Nara is.
And, because I don't think you all harass actual Christian influencers in this manner, I simply cannot believe that is what all the beef is about.
Furthermore, and to my knowledge, she has a modeling career. She has our own money. And, part of that money is the check that TikTok cuts for engagement. With that information, at best, we can assume Nara is an aesthetic but that aesthetic is not aligned with #tradwife life. Forget the aforementioned points -- the pregnant belly alone hanging out of crop tops makes the #tradwife “point” moot. (A quarter of trad wife life is the visual aesthetic–it’s cosplaying a 1950s white wife through and through – so be fucking for real.) It seems that there's been this narrative created simply because people do not like her.
@naraazizasmith do we like the time stamps?🫶🏽 #easyrecipes #whatieatinaday #fulldayofeating #pregnant #pregnancycravings #fypシ #homecooking
Let's call a spade a spade. What we're witnessing is racism, colorism, envy – crabs in a barrel bullshit.
Nara smith wasn’t broke or jobless when she met him, she definitely still isn’t broke and jobless now. She’s literally a runway model that still has modeling gigs, a social media career and a rich father. They think she’s a stay at home mum because she’s making food videos😭 https://t.co/ePOvTWWrTQ
— Sunrise⁸ 🎀🏴☠️ (@__sunriseii) March 14, 2024
Nara is married to Lucky Blue Smith, a fashion model who gained a lot of popularity in the early 2010s due to a massive social media presence, especially on Tumblr. Many are threatened by the idea that this Black woman is leading a life of leisure in the company of a white man, especially with some level of fame. This goes for white and Black women who dislike her. In a 2021 interview, FKA Twigs highlighted a sentiment amid the backlash she received from her time dating Robert Pattinson, that I imagine to be similar – the fantasy his fans had of seeing him with "someone white and blonde."
As for the hate from other Black women, there appears to be some cognitive dissonance. Black women who claim to want a soft life but have not achieved it for one reason or another. Because if you've tried to prepare anything that Nara cooks, it's not much more time-consuming than any other type of weekly meal prep.
"Why is this woman cooking in a gown? Why is she being extra making the bread from scratch?"
It's simply because she can. Because isn't that what feminism is about? The right to fucking choose!
@naraazizasmith drooling watching this😮💨 #baking #husbandwife #pregnancycravings #easyrecipes #coupletok #fypシ #homecooking #cookies
But, at the end of the day, there's a lot of groupthink around Nara. I think it's all misplaced, and ironically, I think it further proves how easily the general public can be converted into cult members. Perhaps, that explains their concerns with Mormon propoganda – understanding how vulnerable they view themselves (this is sarcasm).
Not once have I watched Nara's content and had a strong urge to convert to Mormonism. But, instead, I watch and feel inspired to make as much at home as possible based on my bandwidth. She makes it look easy, and as someone who has spent the past month indulging myself and my baby in fresh bread and cinnamon rolls, inspired by her content – it's satisfying to know I'm able to subsidize the preservative and cost of certain treats.
While making bread in beautiful gowns is not realistic, I do think if you let her inspire you, you can find that some of the other aspects of her lifestyle are within reach.
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Featured image via Nara Smith/ Instagram
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak